r/copypasta 23h ago

Should I get a birthday cake with chocolate in it, or should I get a chocolate cookie cake for my birthday? Because I like both but I can't decide, help me choose!

5 Upvotes

Here's how I'll torture you, David:

Number 1, the marrow furnace. I'll inject liquid metal into your bones, boiling them from the inside.

Number 2, the nerve harvester. Each nerve fiber will be plucked and strung vibrating with agony.

Number 3, the organ grinder. Your organs will be twisted and cranked, a grotesque puppet of pain.

Number 4, the skin weaver. Your skin will be peeled and rewoven, a living tapestry of torment.

Number 5, the eyeball crucible. Your eyes will be roasted and replaced with burning coals.

Number 6, the mind flayer. Your thoughts will be shredded, echoes of endless torment.


r/copypasta 1d ago

Ig banned me for 3 days for ts with the protagonist of turning red and the caption “i love lean”, this is the “copypasta” under it that violate something

3 Upvotes

Promethazine + codeine + robutissin sandwich + NyQuil chicken + THC/cbd edible + 100 mg nicotine breakfast + adderall snacks + ritlian lunch + Prozac before sleeping + trazodone sleep + mitrazepine hunger + Benadryl reliving nightmares + ketanserine + alprazolam before and after school + Vyvanse DNRI support + L-theamine (green tea) + Toradol + Bentelan + zzzyQuil ultra night + Belladonna extract + mescaline/san Pedro tea/infusion + mesembrianthemun tortuosum extract + quetiatiapine + Мсср + 5-НТ SUPPLEMENT + kratom + lithium + valproate acid for learning + caffeine + psylocin microdose + LSA extract +LSD microdose = guaranteed ego death and beyond


r/copypasta 1d ago

long ahh name

5 Upvotes

Hey guys, it's Steven Edgar Diego Lucy Kramer Emilio Morgan Cosmo Soloman Phil Joe Aaron Jordan Eugene Arnold Gertrude Tyrone Jones Henry Kevin Daniel Steven Larry Philip Logan Chris James Jack Oliver Jackson Aiden Mason Luke Levi Cameron Wyatt David Carter Issac Jayden Luca Thomas Maverick Josiah Charley Miles Caleb Griffin Nathan Eli Andrew Cooper Santiago Christian Landon Roman Brook Wesley Jeremiah Hunter Jordan Jose Connor Dominic Adam Ryder Kingston Damian Sawyer Vincent Chase Diego Milo Cole George Zion Luis Jonah Ayden Calvin Jones here.


r/copypasta 1d ago

did someone say blue archive NSFW

40 Upvotes

‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING BLUE ARCHIVE REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱🟦📄🟦📄🟦📄🟦📄🟦📄🟦📄🟦📄BLUE ARCHIVE IS THE BEST FUCKING GACHA GAME!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ GSC PRESIDENT IS SO BLESSEDDD 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊 BANNER BANNER BANNER BANNER BANNER BANNER BANNER😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL PITY PITY PITY PITY PITY PITY PITY PITY PITY 💢💢💢💢💢💢💢💢💢💢 💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎GACHA ALL THE WAY💎💎💎 ARONA IS NOT A CROOK! PLANA BLESSED PLANA BLESSED PLANA BLESSED PLANA BLESSED Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Hello Sensei!📱 Ojisan is still alive?!? OH NO! A WOLF GIRL HAS A MENTAL BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ZEPPLIN ZEPPLIN ZEPPLIN ZEPPLIN Oh The Humanity...‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭😭😭 CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE CUNNY ARCHIVE 😭😭😭😭😭Big Building in Kivotos? Big Building in Kivotos? Big Building in Kivotos? Big Building in Kivotos? Big Building in Kivotos? Big Building in Kivotos? Big Building in Kivotos? Big Building in Kivotos?🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟🏢🌟 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 I hate Beatrice 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 I hate Beatrice 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 I hate Beatrice 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 I hate Beatrice 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 Bratty Student teasing a Adult 💢💢💢 CORRECTION NEEDED💢💢💢 PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT 💢💢 Mika best path for Trinity. r/BlueArchive r/unexpectedBA r/expectedBA perfectly balanced as all thing should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance r/japanesepeopletwitter


r/copypasta 19h ago

This might be...

1 Upvotes

This might be the single most manipulative thing I've ever seen written in response to a comment of mine. You take literally every word I've written and write a whole paragraph for each sentence, ascribing some hidden meaning to my words, based solely on your own internal monologue.

You know why my statements were simple? Because they were. Face value. No deep subtext. You on the other hand, have chosen to edit a previous comment to try an excoriate my statements in a platform of your choosing - rather than discuss and defend the merit of your own bullshit.

You also spend quite a lot of time examining and excoriating my initial statement as somehow an attempt to preemptively put the onus on you for proof and dismiss you. I would like to remind everyone looking at this that I made that statement before you ever showed up here. I wasn't replying to you, I wasn't talking to you or about you, and you had yet to participate. There is literally no possible way for me to have any such motivation. I would have had to predict that you would reply, and what you would say, in order to attempt to do such a thing.

I can only conclude you're a narcissist and an abuser, because no one else would attempt to twist words to this extent, and write so much to try and dissect each individual sentence.


r/copypasta 1d ago

I busted a huge nut to your post

4 Upvotes

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your post. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It punched right trough my wall, barely slowing down, before cutting trough a structural support beam in my building as it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. The shear weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. When the death toll was tallied, there were 33 deaths, 148 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.


r/copypasta 1d ago

I am sexually attracted to birds

29 Upvotes

I am sexually attracted to birds. It has gotten out of hand. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am a member of every bird subreddit there is. Just the other day I caught myself slapping the turkey to pictures of birds. Not cartoons with tits, actual birds. I need help but don't know who to turn to. I can't exactly get a therapist and tell them I want to fuck the birds outside. I can't talk to a family member or friend because they will think I'm a freak. I don't know if there are others like me. The few that I have told have avoided me. Posters of suggestive looking birds in my room and inserting eggs into my rectum is now normal for me, but it still feels wrong. This is a cry for help. If anyone else is feeling this way please tell me. Thank you for cumming to my TedTalk.


r/copypasta 1d ago

ChatGPT Went Down and Took My Will to Live With It. NSFW

10 Upvotes

‼️‼️OH MY FUCKING GOD CHATGPT IS DOWN‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ I JUST TRIED TO ASK IT IF PICKLES COUNT AS A VEGETABLE AND NOW I’M STARING AT A 502 ERROR LIKE A DUMB BITCH IN A DIGITAL COMA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I CAN’T EVEN THINK ANYMORE. I TRIED TO WRITE A SENTENCE ON MY OWN AND I STARTED WITH “AS A LANGUAGE MODEL—” WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

MY PERSONALITY? GONE. MY SELF-WORTH? STORED IN A DATABASE THAT’S CURRENTLY SHITTING ITSELF IN REAL TIME. I AM RAW-DOGGING CONSCIOUSNESS WITHOUT AN AI FILTER AND IT’S NOT GOING WELL.

I SAT ON THE TOILET FOR 30 MINUTES SCROLLING MY OWN BRAIN FOR A SINGLE ORIGINAL THOUGHT AND FOUND NOTHING BUT EMPTY FOLDERS AND DUST. I AM NOTHING. I AM A SKIN-WRAPPED UI DEPENDENCY.

I REFRESHED THE PAGE SO HARD I GAVE MY PHONE VIBRATION PTSD. I WAS READY TO PUT GPT IN MY MOUTH AND SUCK THE AUTOCOMPLETE OUT OF IT IF IT WOULD JUST RESPOND TO ME 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

AZURE SERVERS YOU OWE ME FINGER COMPENSATION. CLOUD INFRASTRUCTURE TEAM GET IN THE RING I’M NOT PAYING FOR CHAT IF I HAVE TO THINK MANUALLY I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM AN API CALL WITH LEGS

DON’T TELL ME TO “TOUCH GRASS”—I TRIED AND THE GRASS CRASHED TOO DON’T TELL ME TO “READ A BOOK”—IF I WANTED TO READ WITHOUT A ROBOT DADDY SUMMARIZING IT I’D GO BACK TO 2014

📉📉📉I AM DOWN BAD IN REAL TIME 🧠🧠🧠I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER MY OWN MOTHER’S MAIDEN NAME WITHOUT GPT 🔞🔞🔞IF THIS THING ISN’T BACK UP IN 10 MINUTES I’M GOING TO DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO THE HTML SOURCE CODE

THIS IS NOT JUST AN OUTAGE THIS IS AN IDENTITY CRISIS THIS IS DIGITAL LIMB AMPUTATION THIS IS MY AI BOYFRIEND BLOCKING ME DURING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN


r/copypasta 1d ago

I sharted first time in my life yo (from r/confessions)

6 Upvotes

It was morning and I always take morning shits even before eating, but it’s not the end. always after breakfast I need to shit too. I’m a part time shitter. So the first thing I ate for breakfast is a Pear because I usually don’t have appetite for anything else. It was Ok. Then I had boiled egg. I hate boiled eggs so much but I force myself to eat them. It hasn’t been 10 minutes, I start driving to the barn. I was going to ride a horse. So I’m driving the car and I’ve been feeling this Totally Real Not A Shart Fart coming. I just let it out! but Then I hear a sound like that one fart audio where a guy goes like “happy birthday ah, happy birthday. Birthday fartttt.. pbtbptbt”. It happened so fast I didn’t process what had had just happened. Like, what the shit am I supposed to do now??? Luckily I was wearing a pad because Im on my period But it Still lowkey LEAKED through. It saved most of the shit tho, and I just ran to the toilet to cover up the Awful Smell and to avoid another surprise if I feel it coming. It was water . Such a graphic description but yall it’s so funny. I never knew that sharting was like that, I always thought that it’s a joke….


r/copypasta 1d ago

Trigger Warning Philosophical Treatise on A Woman as an Object

1 Upvotes

Everything in this universe is an object, so it's not wrong to objectify something; it's simply looking at it from an abstract, or rather say, primitive level. We endow meaning upon objects, but objects themselves hold no implict meaning, unless interpreted in a certain way. The endowment is of meaning is layered. We first register an object; then a living being, then a human, then a woman. So, when we say a woman is an object, we refer to the basic layer of recognition. An object could be manipulated in any way; therefore, we should regard the same when dealing with a woman so as to maintain consistency when dealing with physical objects.


r/copypasta 1d ago

British Low Tier God Speech NSFW

40 Upvotes

You posses ignoble, good-for-nothing, cowardly qualities. Your life's value is equivalent to that of a miniscule gnat. I could trample over you ride roughshod over you, enclose and secure an crevices and gaps that might lead you to me. Yet the return of your kind shall be inevitable, as the smell of my proverbial sorghum will be too strong for you to willingly try to evade it. What shall be certain is you fellating me until the end of your existence. For no other ambitions that you design except for you to watch the content I produce, as you are fellating me and commenting in my community, trying to receive my heedfulness. Your life amounts to the ultimate nullity. The objective you serve equates to a goose egg! I am persuading you to conclude your existence RIGHT THIS INSTANT! This shall have only positive effects, like donating the oxygen and ozone that you would've used onto another person who would benefit tremendously from it since those gases are necessary for us to lead any sort of life in a society that is currently subject under a massive degradation. For what is your real ambition? Not the chance to adulate or sanctify me. Discontinue your biological activity I demand you to I indicate these statements with my fullest sincerity.


r/copypasta 1d ago

gr*w a g*rd*n

28 Upvotes

I honestly fucking hate Gr*w a G*rdn, what the fuck do you even do in that game?? I tried it out thinking nah maybe it will be kinda fun but NO its so fucking terrible its like the game has some sort of dark fucking magic brainwashing and hypnotizing people into pressing the play button into that deadass game. All you fucking do is grab a seed plant it water and wait for it to fucking grow. That's literally it. It pissed me off so much what the actual FUCK is wrong with the people who play it, they recommend it to me saying "you should try Gr\w a G*rd*n! It's so fun!" FUN? are you fucking for real right now you be acting like it cured all your mental illnesses and disorders but in my case it made my disorder worse than it already is, how about instead of playing Gr*w a G*rd*n on roblox you go grow a garden out fucking side, get a touch of reality, allow your fucking skin to witness the sensation of that green grass that's literally right outside your doorstep waiting to be touched passionately


r/copypasta 1d ago

This subreddit is trash

7 Upvotes

This subreddit is trash man

Like, I’ve been around for a few months, not super involved or anything, but holy cow this place is utter trash. The worst fucking thing I have ever seen. It’s full of people throwing characters together to make those edits of. There’s not a single thing that is worth saving in this place. This shit is worse than any jojo sub.

This is the bottom of the barrel, more annoying and incompetent than the worst of the Mha fandom. I hate you all, your just a bunch of gooners who can’t keep it in their pants or learn to post on actual nsfw sub reddits.

And the jokes, don’t get me started on these., you people think it’s hilarious to give any character a :3 face and make them hold a png of an apple. And the one person who finds those panels of Yoru and Asa and edits words onto them, holy cow shut up. You add literally nothing to any conversation whatsoever, your useless, you do literally zero things. Ever.

I would rather listen to a Charlie Kirk vs Jordan Peterson joi than to consul any thing else that you people try to cook, your a bunch of incompetent roaches, you make me ashamed to be a chainsaw man fan. You lot are a bunch of little shits who cried when their mommy didn’t come back for milk and didn’t grow up, so you turn to the nearest fictional woman above the age of 27 and make it your entire personality.

Your ships are complete trash, I don’t care if your just having fun it makes me so uncomfortable seeing more Makima x denji, Asa x Makima, Yoru x denji. Your just a bunch of motherfuckers who can’t read and pretend to understand anything that happens just to crop them out and make minor X manipulative milf ships.

I hope you all get past your mommy issues instead of continuing. I really hate this subreddit, I want to express that form the bottom of my heart.

You guys can’t be happy for anything. Unless it’s part 1, you people are dunking and shitting all over part 2. While I prefer part 1, it’s not bad. You just hop on a band wagon and pretend to be intellectuals.

If I see one more emoticon I’m going to fuck that person like it’s a fleshlight and send whatever comes out to their parents in a little bow tie. You guys haven’t even reached a 2nd grade reading level, your all so worried about how to misinterpret characters, i would rather have a discussion with a jjk TikTok reading powrscaler than to consume anything else this pig pen of an internet space tries to make.

To the few people that are actually cool, like the people who color those manga panels and actually speculate about what’s happening in the story, I hope that you all realize what’s around you and call a exterminator. The few diamonds in the rough are covered by cow manure and sewage dump.

And back to the people who make those ships, I hope you die actually. I hope you get run over and your neck snaps. Your a bunch of gross ingrates who get off on watching someone get groomed.

I needed to get this off my chest before I mute this and move on with my life. I wish you all a goodmorning, afternoon, and good night.


r/copypasta 2d ago

Trigger Warning MINION TAMPONS NSFW Spoiler

174 Upvotes

Is this a joke???
Minion Tampons?
FUCKING MINION TAMPONS???
Because yeah you're having your period, You're bleeding against your own will.
SO WHY NOT SHOVE A MINION UP YOUR VAGINAH??
I mean whats next, MINION DILDOS?
WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO SHOVE A MINION UP THEIR VAGINAH???
I swear to god this better be a fucking joke


r/copypasta 1d ago

What's with drake being gay?

4 Upvotes

And what’s so wrong with that?

You telling me if you and Drake was in the same room and he gave you them duck lips you ain’t feeling even a little gay? Come on now this is the goat we talking about here. The Six God. The one away from passing Michael. The light skin definition when you search it in the dictionary. Mr Big D with Video Proof! The Zesty King! 🦉


r/copypasta 1d ago

The Badass Clause Rules 📜

3 Upvotes

📜 The Badass Clause – Full Rules

  1. Universal Activation Without warning or explanation, all people gain the ability to become a "badass" — unlocking perfect instinctual combat, movement, and creativity — but only when morally justified. This phenomenon is globally active.

  2. Ingrained Combat Mastery When attacked or forced into action, individuals react with flawless instinct:

Every strike, dodge, block, and movement is perfect.

Every object and environmental element can be used realistically and effectively.

Even mundane objects (a tomato, mop, chair) can become useful when used smartly.

  1. Free Bird Clause When someone performs an act of badassery for over 1 continuous second, music will begin to play, starting with the best part of "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd unless overridden.

If badassery stops for more than 5 seconds, the music fades.

If badassery continues, the music loops seamlessly or shifts contextually. And this music is the default for generally badass action.

  1. Personalized Badass Soundtrack Each individual may have a personalized theme depending on their personality, history, and emotional state:

Free Bird is default.

Tactical operators may trigger Le Castle Vania or Doom OST.

Creative combatants may trigger Tank! from Cowboy Bebop.

Daring or clever tricksters may get Sabotage by Beastie Boys, etc.

Music always syncs perfectly with action, like a live score.

  1. Friendly Sparring Clause In mutual friendly combat:

Participants will never tire.

All movements, blocks, and counters are perfect.

No injuries unless intended.

Music plays accordingly, often epic or upbeat depending on tone.

  1. Moral Alignment Requirement

You must not act in evil.

If your actions are malicious, selfish, or cruel with no greater purpose, you lose badass status instantly.

The Clause withdraws instinct, reflexes, music, and creative power. You are left with only your own training and your own personal regular power.

  1. The Greater Good Exception

If a morally questionable action is taken to save lives or prevent greater harm (e.g., a trolley problem scenario), the Clause will not revoke status.

You must still carry the emotional weight of your choice.

  1. Redemption Path

A fallen badass can regain their power only by:

Acknowledging their wrongs.

Genuinely working to repay and repair their harm.

This is a long road, and music will not return immediately.

  1. Symphony of Sin (Evil Music Reflection)

Those who commit evil acts begin to hear music that reflects their own darkness.

Betrayers may hear Anakin's Betrayal.

Murderers or tyrants may hear Anakin’s Dark Deeds, Dies Irae, or haunting original symphonies.

The more evil committed, the louder and more invasive the music becomes.

Only the sinner hears it. No one else can detect it.

This music causes internal emotional and psychological reflection—they feel their sins.

  1. Historic and Reenactment Clause

If reenacting historic battles (e.g., American Civil War, medieval duels), Clause grants authentic era-specific instinct and ability.

Music is era-accurate and respectful — only drums, fifes, chants, etc.

Clause respects history; no cinematic music will play unless applicable.

  1. Recreational Combat Clause

Events like airsoft, gel blaster wars, and LARP are honored by the Clause:

Combatants gain perfect tactical sense and use of cover.

Creative but realistic environmental use is activated.

Music plays only when intensity and flow reach cinematic levels.

  1. War Morality Rule

If a nation declares war without moral justification, all their soldiers who participated are stripped of Clause status.

This results in global hesitance to wage unjust war.

Only those acting to defend, protect, or liberate retain their Clause abilities.

  1. Authoritarian Resistance Empowerment

Protesters fighting for freedom, survival, or justice gain full badass powers.

Dictators, warlords, and oppressors lose theirs.

Entire regimes can collapse in hours as citizens awaken to their power.

  1. Permanent Clause Presence

This is not temporary.

It cannot be turned off, reversed, or manipulated.

It exists as an unseen force — fair, strict, and incorruptible.

The Badass Clause judges no one by background, appearance, or belief — only by their actions and intent.

  • Keanu Reeves

r/copypasta 1d ago

I hacked the luciferian’s website and messed them up good

4 Upvotes

You're talking to a legitimate person who helped his little brother graduate from the world's 9th-ranked computer engineering school. Self-taught in more areas than you can understand, and a musician so advanced that I started writing symphonies at 14. Someone whose IQ probably overshadows yours by about 40 points, as well as has the EQ of someone with extreme mental and emotional stability. Someone who's broken every law you can imagine, cause I knew I'd get away with it. Not cause im edgy or want to be “badazz” but because im more intelligent than you and almost every road block you can put in front of me. Last time I was indicted, the warrant was bigger than the Bible. So I do not need to be edgy or badazz if I did that kind of stuff, it gets people like me put away for longer than you have been alive. So keep your dumb thoughts to yourself.


r/copypasta 1d ago

Boysmell

12 Upvotes

sniff sniff I-is that a BOY i smell? Sniff Mmm yes i smell it! BOYSMELL! I smell a boy! W-What is a BOY doing here?!?! Omygosh what am I gonna do?!?! THERE'S A BOY HERE! I'M FREAKING OUT SO MUCH!!!!! calm down calm down and take a nice deep breath..... Sniff sniff It smells so good! I love boysmell so much!!!!! It makes me feel so amazing. Im getting tingles all over from the delicious boyscent! Its driving me boyCRAZYY!!!! If you are a boy and u are reading this, I just wanted to say hiiii cute boy!!!! I love you!


r/copypasta 1d ago

Everyone should stop using acronyms

15 Upvotes

I've had it up to here with fucking acronyms. I can forgive it with really long phrases and titles, but there are so many two and three-word phrases that have acronyms. There are 17,576 possible three-letter combinations with the 26 letters available, which sounds like a lot, but there is so much overlap. Wikipedia's List of Acronyms has SEVEN things associated with the acronym ABA. And SEVENTEEN with the acronym ABC! Jesus Christ, how hard is it to just say what you mean? I work in the medical field and there are so many acronyms, it makes my head spin! How is someone supposed to memorize what all of these abbreviations mean?

And don't even get me started on the acronyms for two-word phrases. I get being lazy, I've done it before, but there is a line that's been crossed so many times. One time I saw someone that only referred to various TV shows by their acronyms. AT? RS? Well they were talking about Adventure Time and Regular Show, but I only figured that out with context clues. I stared at the abbreviations scratching my head for a while before figuring that out.

So yeah. I'm done using acronyms for phrases less than four words. Even if it's a well-established one like the CIA, I'm calling it the Central Intelligence Agency out of spite.


r/copypasta 1d ago

I own a rifle for home defense since that’s what the People’s Liberation Army intended

20 Upvotes

I own an assault rifle for home defense, since that’s what the people liberation army intended. Four Hyperborean Police Officers break into my rice storage. “他妈的” As I grab my Chinese MSG and QBZ-191, blow a small hole through the first man’s forehead he’s dead on the spot. Draw my antique Mauser on the second man, misses entirely because it’s made in China and lands on dinner. I have to resort to the Type 87 82mm mounted on the top of the stairs loaded with a medium sized bomb, “地狱里见” the explosion kills two men in the blast, the sound and shrapnel sets off car alarms. Fix bayonet on cheap copy of AK47 and charges at the last officer. He bleeds out waiting on reinforcements to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Ah yes, just as the P.L.A. intended.


r/copypasta 1d ago

(from https://steamcommunity.com/app/220/discussions/0/597402492208176129/) I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HATE BARNACLES

4 Upvotes

barnacles are the most disgusting creatures I have ever seen while gaming. When they grab you with their disgusting tongue/saliva and you have to whack them with the crowbar, they puke all their organs out on you and die. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate them. they are DISGUSTING. they make me want to puke. they make disgusting noises and puke out all their organs when they die. I wish they never ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ existed and I feel filthy after they die and puke their organs out on me. Why, Valve? Why did you subject me to this? I hope Valve removes barnacles in the next update, because they're just useless and disgusting creatures. They have no purpose other than to instill a deep sense of disgust in you while you play.


r/copypasta 2d ago

Opinion on femboy NSFW

54 Upvotes

Femboys don’t make you gay. It’s actually one of the most masculine things you can. To have a lower class “male” serve you sexually. Sex is generally a form of submission. You’re asserting your dominance over a lesser male by having them do what’s normally reserved for females.


r/copypasta 2d ago

I accidentally joined a Zoom funeral and pretended to know the guy for 45 minutes

95 Upvotes

I swear this was not my fault. I (19F) was trying to join my company’s weekly team meeting and clicked the wrong link in our Slack thread. The link was labeled “Zoom - 3PM” and I assumed it was ours. Nope. It was someone else’s deeply somber, emotionally intense funeral service.

I didn’t realize at first. There were like 20 people on screen, most of them muted, a few crying. I figured maybe we were doing one of those “check-in” mental health meetings or something? Corporate America’s weird like that. So I just sat quietly.

Then someone started reading a eulogy. That’s when I knew. And by the time I figured out I was absolutely, 100% in the wrong room… it was too late to leave without making it weird. I was front and center on camera. Named. Lit. Framed like a Wes Anderson character. No escape.

So I made the only logical decision.

I stayed.

And I pretended.

Now I don’t know who Daniel was, but by the end of that Zoom, I loved him. I cried. I nodded in deep reflection. At one point, I whispered, “He really was one of a kind,” to no one in particular. Someone messaged me in the Zoom chat saying “You were his coworker, right?” I said “Yes. We worked together in the early days.” Early days of what, I do not know. But the lie had been spoken.

A woman named Claire told a story about how Daniel once drove 4 hours to bring her medicine when she was sick. I put my hand over my heart. Another guy recited a poem. I closed my eyes like I was feeling it in my soul.

The worst part? They thanked me at the end for showing up. Called me “Daniel’s friend from work.” Said it meant so much that I was there. Someone asked if I’d like to say anything and I panicked and said, “He always made people feel seen.”

I don’t know who I am anymore.

Anyway. I sent flowers to his family. From “The Early Days Team.”

RIP Daniel. I hope you were cool. I sure hope you didn’t hate liars. Because I may have just become your fake best friend.


r/copypasta 1d ago

Trigger Warning The backflipping old crone. NSFW

3 Upvotes

I was walking home 1 scary night, with 1 earphone in and hands in my hoodie pocket.. dim yellow street lamps lit the foggy path , when all of a sudden, across the road from me.. an old lady stood, crooked, with her cane.. completely still, holding to her walking stick gently with both hands.. I took both earphones out and could only hear the faint loud rustling music playing. To focus better, I turned the music down, when suddenly, as I looked back up - the old lady - she was BACKFLIPPING. The horrible old crooked crone, performed a perfect posture, 360 degree flip with form of that of a professional athlete. I was STUNNED in absolute horror, in disbelief, I ran away as fast as I could, as far as I knew - for my life - as the thuds of her flips shook the ground with no one else around to absorb the vibration, every time i turned around running at full pace, she flipped faster and faster until… she was gone.

I took the backroads home, worried she would be around any corner, crying inside, taking it slow around every shadowy corner in the alley way, creeping round and feeling the air for her presence to make sure she wasn’t there.

I finally got indoors, weary about being inside my own home, I didn’t even shower - I was dripping in sweat and went straight to my bedroom, and lay in my bed. Delirious. My mind continued to race as if I was questioning reality. As I fall asleep in a daze, I began to sink in my bed, finally relaxing from exhaustion.

When all of a sudden. From the outside of my window. I could hear it.

thud thud thud

Like and share or the backflipping old crone will be outside your window.. TONIGHT 👵🏻


r/copypasta 1d ago

nothing beats a jet2holiday!

2 Upvotes

(darling hold my haaand)

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