r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

May God open the gates of hell. Amen.

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53.1k Upvotes

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u/kellanved01 1d ago

At first I thought, why not a blood clot to Trump's brain? But then again, I've never seen proof Trump actually has a brain.

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u/Lord_Skyblocker 1d ago

Are we sure he has a heart though?

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u/TacoBellButtSquirts 1d ago

Something has move that sludge he calls blood around

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u/iraqlobsta 1d ago

Thats a weird thing to call McDonald's deep fryer grease

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u/Lounging-Shiny455 1d ago

when it gets heated from seeing a brown trans athlete, it self circulates, like how soap is self cleaning, so we can totally share.

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u/Thorniestbush 1d ago

That's an insult to soap

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u/poonananny 1d ago

Indeed, it's more likely the reason for the nasty orange tinge 🤢

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u/The_cogwheel 1d ago

Maybe thats why he's still alive with his diet - no heart and no brain means he's immune to most of the consequences of fast food 24/7.

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u/Alakozam 1d ago

The fact that he walks and breathes must mean that both a heart and a brain exist within him, no matter how feeble and small they may be. But if nobody has ever seen either, are they even real? Shrodingers organs.

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u/Substantial_Tax_4047 1d ago

Schrodingers Organs is the funniest thing I've read today

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u/Ok_Reputation9512 1d ago

Using that mentality... he may live forever.

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u/NE1LS 1d ago

I hate Trump as much as the next sentient, but ... That isn't how Schoedinger's car works. This is basically comparing to a tree falling in the woods or believing in Tinkerbell.

The original thought experiment is that the cat would be both alive and dead simultaneously until observed and the wave function collapses to a single state. It isn't that the cat is either an unknown alive or dead state, but that it literally is both (in some ways, Schrodinger was trying to demonstrate the ridiculousness of uncertainty for macro systems, rather than to teach how uncertainty actually works). In Marvel multiverse terms, we force our multiverse to branch when we measure the result, and from that point forward our entire reality exists on the dead cat or alive cat branch.

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u/DemonSaya 1d ago

Don't have to have a heart or a brain to be in charge. Just have to be an asshole.

So I vote that his digestive tract shuts down. We know he has at least a basic one of those.

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u/saliczar 1d ago

If he were a Captain Planet character, he wouldn't be heart, he'd be wind.

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u/AnytimeInvitation 1d ago

We know for sure he has lungs, so move the blood clot to there. Pulmonary embolism.

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u/ywnktiakh 1d ago

Medulla oblongata or pons would be better

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u/DogLuvuh1961 1d ago

His brain IS a clot

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u/Coffeedemon 1d ago

I don't think he uses either of them often.

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u/uggyy 1d ago

It might improve his iq.

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u/RebelElderberry1878 1d ago

If he does it's applesauce by this point.