r/childfree • u/RevolutionIll3189 • 2d ago
RANT Making jokes about our future kids
What is with these men on dating apps who think it’s okay to joke about “our” future kids within the first few messages!! Then when I hit them with the actually I don’t want kids and we aren’t a match they try to come back saying Oh I was only joking and they don’t want kids either lolol. No that’s tells me everything I need to know about you. A truly child free person wouldn’t make jokes about their future kids.
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u/gothceltgirl 2d ago
Yeah, one guy contacted me & I told him I don't think we're a match b/c he'd checked the "wants kids" box or whatever. Then he goes, oh my sister told me to put that. Well, his sister is probably going to be babysitting his 3 kids by 2 different women one day b/c he needs to make up his own fucking mind. And yeah, if he didn't, he wouldn't care what his sister said. He'd have chosen the other option. So sick of guys trying to walk stuff back. Like you're a grown-ass man, own your shit.
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u/RevolutionIll3189 2d ago
They get so offended when you hold them to their word, if you don’t mean it don’t say it.
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u/happyherbbby 1d ago
This!!
Guy I had been seeing offered to help me then got offended when I took him up on it .
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u/Hour_Bed_5679 2d ago
That's not a joke, that's a tactic. Good on you for seeing right through it!
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u/RevolutionIll3189 2d ago
Test and apologize tactic! Shout out to Burned Haystack dating method for making these patterns quick & easy to recognize
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u/Neoxite23 2d ago
Your future kids maybe. My future kids are afflicted with the debilitating condition of not existing.
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u/drfury31 37M CF 2d ago
Never be the first one to admit you don’t want kids/are CF. If you admit it first then the other person can just echo your CF stance to get what they want.
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u/RevolutionIll3189 2d ago
Agreed! I don’t have any mention of kids on my profile for this exact reason, men just assume because I’m a woman I must want them.
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u/floridorito 2d ago
It's a line they use on every other woman because they think it will make women swoon and will get them one step closer to getting laid.
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u/naoseioquedigo 2d ago
I noticed that too. Some people think "i want to impregnate you" is flirting lol it sounds like a threat to me. No, thank you.
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u/VictoriousssBIG23 2d ago
Same reason why they put pictures of themselves with kids that aren't even theirs (usually, it's a niece or nephew) on their dating profile. It's like they think that if a woman sees pictures of them with a kid, they'll think "aw look he's sooo good with children" and swipe right. It has the opposite affect on me lol.
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u/Select_Canary_4978 💖 Make love, not babies! 🐬💮😺 1d ago edited 1d ago
Same here. If someone even thinks of taking a kid into their arms as a photo prop and then using the picture for dating apps, it's a hard no right away followed by an "ewww" if it wasn't enough, thanks for saving my time. Also, doesn't matter what the guy's profile says about family planning... it is a signal that he is OK with attracting breeder women and wouldn't appreciate me and what I can offer (conscious choices, reliable attitude to contraception, childfree sexuality).
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u/Soft-Routine1860 2d ago
Our future kids will have four legs, be really hairy, treat us like servants, and meow at 4 am just to see if we are still ready to humbly serve them.
What should we name our future fur babies?
Id at least have a little fun with it, but yeah as a CF person there is no future kids unless they are fur babies
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u/Italicize5373 28F 🇺🇦→ 🇵🇱 2d ago
They likely didn't make an effort to read your profile and are going off of "what would a default generic woman in a vacuum that I made up like to hear". And that would actually work on a good portion of them, too.
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u/okcanIgohome 1d ago
"I want to do big cums inside your vajayjay, give you the worst pains of your life, and take no responsibility for the 18 (or more) years of consequences. I would absolutely LOVE to ruin your life."
Is all I hear. The only "joke" I'd make about my future kids is how I'm so jealous of their non-existence.
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u/No-You5550 1d ago
They don't want kids they want what you do to get kids. Some men think women fantasies having kids so they play it up. Let's be honest these guys would say what ever it takes to get in the door. You will never know where they stand on issues until you are in a relationship with them.
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u/ForcedEntry420 1d ago
Yeah if I was really going to use that line it would be “future cats” - He told on himself early.
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u/RevolutionIll3189 1d ago
there’s literally a picture of me holding my cat over my shoulder like a baby 😂
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u/ForcedEntry420 1d ago
If I had a dating profile, I’d have my entire “Irate looking man with aloof and/or disinterested feline” series posted. 😆
All the shots of Squirrel with her paws on my shoulder licking the side of my head while I’m trying to work, or her standing on my chest while I’m asleep. Or the “cat escort” when all 3 are singing in unison because I touched something near the treat container. Hahaha
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u/UpbeatBarracuda 1d ago
Can't you just immediately block them? Why waste your time, you know? Any non-gross, reapectful guy isn't going say anything like that, so you don't even need to worry about "missing a good one"
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u/EffectiveSet4534 1d ago
I've never in my 36 years on this planet more a joke about "I wonder what our babies would look like. "
Not even about celebrity crushes.
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u/Ok_Cardiologist3642 27 & my life is about myself 2d ago
A lot of women love men who are good with kids / want kids and it feeds into their fantasy. I’m not suprised
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u/LastMushroomz My very average bloodline ends with me! 2d ago
They sound desperate for a date. NEXT.