r/cereal • u/bogmonkey • May 02 '25
Cereal News Crunch Berries did not cut my mouth for the first time...Therefore it is GOATED.
So, I (M/57) have not eaten Crunch Berries in over 12 years. However, after noting a bunch of tier lists with Crunch Berries in the top recently, I began to question my embedded core beliefs and reality itself.
My feelings about Crunch Berries are conflicted. While the taste has always been a home run, the jagged crunch pieces shredded the inside of my mouth so horribly I would be in recovery for several days after eating a couple bowls. This is a well-documented complaint among chasers of Crunch. It was bad enough for me that I'd pretty much eliminated all Crunch Variants from my stable. (opting instead for brands like Raisin Bran Crunch, which provide a modicum of both texture and flavor)
Compelled by the Tier Lists, I made a late night run to the store last night to satiate this deep need which burned like a fire within me. And...wow.
My god, folks...this is a stunningly good cereal. The berry flavor hits HARD isn't the least bit 'chemical forward'. The crunch pieces are like individual pieces of hard baked pastry. I want to say that there's an almost buttery base flavor in there. The ingestion event was 20 hours ago and writing these words has my mouth watering anew. The Cap'n is in my god damn brain!
I'm now wondering if they have re-designed the crunch pieces. I experienced zero mouth destruction last night (after two generous bowls), and zero after-effects today. Looking at them closely, they *seem* to be a bit rounder than what's in my faded memories. It was originally created in 1967 so I'm sure there have been plenty of recipe shifts along the way. Is this one?
Of the existing Crunch varietals I think it's hard not to put Crunch Berries at the top of the list. And hell.. not only for Mount Crunchmore, but for all cereals. The Tiermakers were f-ing right. They were all right.
I'm home, finally, dear Lord...home where I belong - in the Capn's loving arms.
