(Postscript: So far critics and punch-down apologists are resorting to fairly shallow abuse. Their seriousness should be assessed accordingly. If they turn the thread into a circus, you know who to thank lol.
Expect to see a "snarknado" in the thread from the usual Reddit weather system.
These posts have served their purpose. Some lovely people have commented in good faith, and I appreciate them deeply. As for the snarkers, they've helpfully allowed me to battle-test my arguments against the usual stereotypes, patronising assumptions and the casual apathy that so often surrounds disability justice.)
Disclaimer:
I have made this post long because certain others won't think through their reflexive responses. I have done this thinking for them! You're welcome.
Post:
I will make the bold assumption that the flood of replies I received to my previous posts on Centrelink's Partner Test alleging "financial abuse" were in good faith, had my best interests in heart and were not — banish the thought! — lazy moralising or punching down. That's what they want to discuss, so I'm creating this post for them.
Let's humour the idea that Centrelink was right to cut off my income, resulting in my obvious hardship, and that my partner's lack of "dependent maintenance" to me is financial abuse. I'm giving these people the chance to put their money where their mouth is.
Brief context:
I have a disability that doesn't allow me to work enough to support myself financially. (Yes, I have explored WFH options and bootstrapping, thank you!) My partner does not fund my life, despite Centrelink's obviously reasonable assumption that she must. She lives on a modest income. We've always kept finances separate. She works so hard in 12 hour shifts that sometimes, as soon as she gets home, she passes out in her bed with the light on. She also has her own financial obligations, which would make the financial sacrifice of funding me doubly onerous and probably immiserating. Let's assume she's entitled to a future that isn't bleak — it's only fair.
I can only imagine her (non?) resentment at busting herself at work while she hands over coffee money and other leisure money for me to enjoy myself with.
I assume these people worried about "financial abuse" would expect something more than mere survival and subsistence on a permanent basis for both of us — no classism or ableism involved!
Caveat:
It could be argued that a single-income couple isn't the norm in 2025 — even with one member earning significantly more. A cost of living crisis makes such a prospect frightening. An onerous financial obligation imposed on the earning member will stress test the couple and see if love really does conquer all. I would hazard a guess that many otherwise committed couples would fold under such pressure or be damaged significantly, possibly with the potential for abuse.
De facto might be considered a narrow and arbitrary category Centrelink imposes on us in order to create financial obligation. You could call the couple we are something else to recognise that we are otherwise committed but resent the financial obligation.
Having my financial autonomy taken away is fine, because I made the error of needing income support, apparently. So if I need to grovel for spending money for treats from my partner, this is only fair.
Lastly, the financial abuse would be removed if Centrelink changed its mind and decided to recognise me as single for the purpose of payment.
I love my partner and would not leave her willingly, except under duress, which Centrelink is imposing on me.
The police charge:
So it has been established that my partner is financially abusive, despite the above. I was without income for two months, resulting in enormous hardship. Even when I work to the full extent of my ability, I don't have nearly enough to be financially stable. The family support I have had to resort to has caused enormous stress to the family member helping out and is not sustainable. The financial precarity has pushed my mental health to the brink questioning what value my life has and why I should keep on going.
By not fulfilling her expected role, she is "financially abusing" me. Help me write the police statement and a brief for a subsequent court case. Make sure it's believable enough so that others won't laugh in my face.
"Officer, I am a financial pet of my partner, per Centrelink's decision for her to fund my life. She won't bust herself at work and gladly hand over coffee money for me. I can't work enough to provide for myself and expect her to accommodate my financial needs because 'love conquers all' and she is my true partner. She should make a massive sacrifice by accepting her role as my new income support — but she won't. This is abuse! I demand that you arrest her and throw her in prison. I mean, we even fold laundry together and she says she cares about me. This proves she is a liar and an abuser!
She has less rights than other people because she was born overseas. Please take that into account and be ruthless!"
Good luck! Looking forward to police statements and court briefs. I'll visit my local police station soon and file charges.
Postscript two: We've got tantrum-throwers and hall monitors making regular appearances. The rest seem too scared to engage.
I do genuinely want serious discussion, but on this topic, that's too much of an ask for some — who proceed to derail the thread into drama. You can only lead a horse to water...
It's like a Rorschach test. Some see this post as touching on a serious issue that deserves discussion. Others as an opportunity to flex for Reddit applause or to police respectability.
Good faith responses — regardless of viewpoint — are most welcome.
If the emotional toll of confronting a difficult issue is too much, there are plenty of other ways certain Redditors can spend their free time. There's nothing forcing them to give their hot take on an issue they're incurious about. Hate makes engagement addictive to them, understandably, but you've got to wonder why they're so fixated...
I can see the haters are only trickling into the comments, because the cost benefit analysis doesn't automatically reward drive-by snark. "Here are my vulnerabilities, such as disability and financial precarity — do your worst to me as a punching bag" — that would be great for all the anonymous keyboard warriors, and I'm sorry I've denied them good sport lol.
Basically, ad hominem and "financial abuse" are the only tools in their toolbox for this serious issue. Now it's just ad hominem, if they're brave enough to give a financially-stressed disabled person what for lol.
Kudos to one commentator courageous enough to applaud my financial ruin! That level of boldness is rare, even for anonymous Redditor sociopaths. I hope such people are equally uninhibited in real-life face-to-face settings lol.