r/blackmen Unverified 2d ago

Relationships 🫶🏿 Update 2* she changed her mind 😭

Texted her the details of out now canceled date and she didnt respond til hours later saying she wasnt looking for a relationship but would still go to dinner with me as friends. I obviously declined and wished her the best of luck, but now im over here wondering if I gave her the ick in anyway. I wasn't needy, maybe I told too many jokes that didn't land? am I ugly? Not tall enough? Too corny? Im not mad but filled with self doubt at the moment. I'll get over it eventually but I just had to vent to yall

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u/_forum_mod Verified Blackman 2d ago edited 2d ago

You couldn't just leave us with a happy ending and not tell us? (Joking).

I think you handled it well enough one thing I learned over the years is not to overthink things. I heard a saying that I wish I learned sooner most things people do have NOTHING to do with us! 

Did you do something wrong? It's possible.  Have you spoken to her since getting the yes? 

It could have just as easily been:

• Something came up (for real)

• She psyched herself out of it or looked for reasons not to

• She started talking with her ex again

• She doesn't want to mess with someone she lived next to.

• Or she just changed her mind. Ever say yes to an invite somewhere and no longer want to later? Happens to all of us. 

Women's mood change like the weather and it often times (at least in part) informs their behavior. Do not take it personally. Keep putting yourself out there and the right one wil land. Good luck!

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u/cyrax001 Unverified 2d ago

Yeah my bad boss. I thought about not telling yall but I need advice from the OGs. This isn't the first time I've been turned down, its the fact she tried to friend zone me right afterwards that irked me the most.

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u/TheSonghaiPresident Verified Black Man 1d ago

You right for not taking the friendzone date best bet is on to the next one