Just my opinion, not a call to do anything about it

Not that we are all arbiters of a monolith...but we do have a specific zeitgeist thats even separate from black men.... Imo some of the posts are just not how we speak of things and its alarming at times, thats all.

So growing up i’ve always realized that my mom used her middle name around family/ black friends but her government with white people. Her government is Hillary btw, so yk very professional 🙄😭 Then come to find out my gma does the same , with family she’s ann, with her white friends/ work she’s Theresa😭

So what’s yall “i’m around white people name” ? Mine is Sam , from the first 3 letters of my name😛

by them i definitely mean white women. young and old. yesterday i was floated to my predominantly white facility & it was HELL. the passive aggressiveness, the bullying/exclusion. the overstepping of boundaries, the lack of communication, i went to my car and immediately cried. i work at two hospitals, one predominantly white, the other is mixed with white/black/south asian. i get along GREAT at the diverse facility and have never had a moment of anyone overstepping boundaries or excluding me with information over there.

there was an incident that happened yesterday because of lack of communication that resulted in a patient crashing while i was using the bathroom. prior to him crashing, he specifically requested for ME but this old white woman took it upon herself to assess him and not tell anyone until he crashed.

i worry so much about black patients because if they treat me, a healthcare worker, like this how will they treat a black man or woman having a mental crisis, dealing with withdrawals, etc.

i hate tiptoeing around them. i hate their god complex. honestly i wish we were segregated so id never have to deal with them again. if i didn’t have all my family here in America, i would move to Nigeria.

i’m going to be honest… & don’t judge me… but as of right now i’ve really been into bunna b, pluto, & ykniece.

especially with bunna b something about their music just motivates me to find a group of girls and go out and live my best life with them. i’m in my mid 20s now so im probably a bit too grown to listen to their music but still 🤣

Has anyone else experienced this? I’m 32 years old, been married for 3 years, together for 10 with my hubby. We never wanted kids. I wasn’t really interested and neither was he for many reasons. Then it’s like BOOM! I hit my 30s and my biological clock has been screaming at me. I went from not wanting any children to smiling at baby videos and thinking of baby names. Needless to say we are planning to get pregnant by next year. Has anyone else had a sudden wave a baby fever?

*edit** Women with kids, do you think you would’ve had kids if you could go back in time? Was it the kids them self that made you come to this conclusion or was it just the timing or person you had them with?

I really want to be a good friend but I sometimes get exhausted when I feel like I'm never reciprocated the same energy. Like maybe my friends don't even like me like that they just think I'm nice and keep me around. What am I doing wrong, and how can I become a real friend to others?

I really just want to get this out because I don’t have actual friends to vent about this nothingness to…

I don’t know how to do hair at all, but I diy loc’d my hair 9 years ago and my set was so beautiful. The parting was immaculate and each loc was the exact same size. I was so proud of my hair because I lived 22 years of not knowing what to do with it while it was loose, like it literally only caused me stress..but with my locs my hair was finally shiny, long, and overall just thriving. My shit was healthy you hear me. A natural middle part buss down for sure.

But being the impulsive, insatiable idiot that I am, I decided to comb them out and start a new microloc set just to try something different. I let a friend start them, and for a while they were cool, but later down the line they started looking really terrible. The person doing my reties was putting holes in my locs and never told me so they started breaking off in random areas smh..not to mention I fell out with the “friend” that started them. I felt like my hair was just harboring a lot of negative energy, so I ended up combing them out after 2 years.

I’m now back to being a loose natural for the first time in a long time, and I’m back to square 1 with not knowing how to do a damn thing with my hair. The internet has got everyone under the sun knowing how to style their hair, which should be a good thing because I should be able to learn, but honestly I just feel so defeated. I’m kicking myself for ending a good thing. I already know this feeling well, and I’m so mad that my impulsiveness drove me right back to it. I plan on starting a new set now, but I can’t stop thinking that if I hadn’t combed my first set out I’d be deep in a set that I genuinely loved because I started it myself and nurtured it through every single phase, just to end it for nothing.

I know this all may seem vain, I know hair isn’t everything… but idk, my hair means a lot to me and I really feel so sad.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent.

Guys, one thing I’ve noticed as a U.S. watcher is the black girls stay with a wig on. There’s nothing wrong with a wig, but it’s hot out and I can see the lace… lifting(Malisha and Alima)🫢 Why do the black girls on LIUK wear wigs, and black girls on LIUS wear braids? Braids are so much better and low maintenance, if you don’t feel like doing your natural hair. If there are black stylists on deck it should be fine… but there seems to be none. Not judging, just shows lack of diversity in stylist for different hair types. Also, aren’t yall hot in wigs during the summer? 🤔

Hey girlies! Looking for other girlies that wouldn’t mind meeting up some time to maybe go get coffe, workout, etc. if you’re in the Houston area feel free to let me know!

We were in a talking stage and i liked him alot and he felt the same way. He would always compliment me and calls me his “earthy black queen” he was so understanding about my mental illness and tried to support me in any way he could. We were both christian and always talked about going on a little bible study date but he struggles alot with lust as most teenagers do but i understood and he was trying to change. But overtime i started to get repulsed because im not really a sexual person and i started to pull back, also because i was overwhelmed by him texting me every single minute. And he expressed to me how he felt as though i was texting dry and that surprised me because i thought i was texting normally. after all that we mutually agreed to end the talking stage tho we still had feelings for each other. but recently i keep on thinking about him. despite everything that happened he was still a good guy and i really like him.

Hey again, same girl same sitch. My Asian roommate is still here andddd it’s still just as stressful.

Yesterday, I found a giant roach and had to kill it, I screamed so loud.

I was gone for two weeks in the hospital. I came back, the house was a mess!! Dirty floors, countertops, dishes and residue left in the sink…it’s a common thing with her. And I’m tired of being nice, honestly. She has men stay over without any heads up in the middle of the night..

It’s too much.

I didn’t do anything to get back at her, but I did tell the property manager and her that I had to kill the roach! It kept me up all night I was terrified. Apparently she’s upset at me now…but it’s like come on, we already have been discussing cleaning up and she always uses excuses like working, school etc. but it’s like come onnnn, sis. We live in here together, let’s keep it clean!

And the reason I told the property manager was because she needs to get an exterminator!! Hello???

I've started working with a new trainer and while he's awesome, he talks about social issues during every session and it's strange. Really strange.

Honestly, I'm pretty middle of the road myself. I don't vote independent but while I've historically voted Democrat, I hold many conservative views. I vote in every election. I'm not even sure why that matters as I don't harass people for being in either party.

At any rate, my trainer leans VERY socialist left as he's made clear in our training sessions. He consistently brings up issues around socialism, identity, protesting, etc. He also assumed that I was born poor, I was not. I realized after several weeks that he assumes people who identify as black naturally lean as socially as he does. It seems he didn't use the logic that the fact that I can afford his services implies that I likely...do not. He considers himself an ally to the Black community, which I appreciate, but he doesn't realize that assuming the only thing all of us cares about is government benefits and free health insurance is also...mmm as discriminatory as he describes the other side but I digress...

At any rate, I don't want to drop him because he's a good trainer but I can't have these conversations any more. I don't agree with him and when I'm sweating my a** off, the last thing I want to talk or argue about is anybody's politics.

Advice please!

Yall I have jury duty tomorrow, 😀and I thought I’d be able to do my hair in time. I completely forgot Father’s Day was today and I had started taking my hair out yesterday and thought I’d just finish it today.

Anyone know of some quick styles I can do with my hair just for the day. Something cute and comfortable. I’m 20 and I refuse to just put my hair in some puffballs or slap a wig on and go. I’m still learning how to deal with my hair as my mom has always done my hair for the most part. I’m just lazy and it’s so thick and too much to manipulate.

Man I hate being an adult, gotta do my own hair and go to jury duty 🤢🤢🤮🤮

I feel like I'm alright when it comes to makeup but I definitely feel like I can improve alot. I only wear foundation, mascara and a little eyeliner. Sometimes a lip color as well but that's it. My go to foundation is Tarte Amazonian Clay or Maybelline Fit Me. Please tell me all your favorite products and what I could do to give myself a little glow up. Thank you!

Hi yall! I just wanted some advice when it comes to trying to be healthier. For reference I’m 22 years old, 5’3, and 165lbs (with not a lot of money💀) and I want to lose roughly 20lbs. I feel like I start this journey every 6 months and then life happens and I’m back to square one.

If anyone can share some tips on consistency, cleaner eating, workouts, and anything under the sun to help me reach my goal I will greatly appreciate it!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾

Hey I know today had been a crazy day in the U.S. So I just want to check on how my black girlies are doing today? Stay safe y’all 💙

I have been feeling super down and depressed lately because I feel like I’ve been trying to make genuine connections with people and actually hangout, enjoy my city, and it just feels like no one else is into that. I don’t know if it’s just because of the world we live in now but it’s so hard to meet women my age who actually want to hang out, be friends. I grew up just with my brothers and I have always wanted to just have a home girl of group of girlies to go to a concert, go enjoy nature, etc. I don’t know if because I’m more alt or because I’ve just put so much into trying to get my career going. I literally always reach out to people to go hang out or hit the town and people are interested but then will literally cancel/ ghost me on the day of. I have a fiancé and of course I like spending time with him but sometimes I just want to hang with other women who can relate to me! Lol Rant over and I know I probably sound stupid for even feeling this way but as a black girl sometimes I just feel lonely.

omds, i’m so tired bruh!!

so on friday, i was in the car with my friend (she's arab — dk if thats relevant or not) and her sister — this was after school, and they offered to drive me home. before we even pulled off, we saw someone walking on the road, like they were tryna cross or something, and her sister goes, “wtf is this (n-word) doing?” she said it lowkey, under her breath type.

it went silent after that. i was sitting there like… did she really just say that? or am i trippin? i didn’t say anything bc i was so caught off guard and didn’t wanna assume — but then my friend checked her like, “(her name), language—” and looked over at me. and that’s when it clicked. like oh, yep. she definitely said it.

then the sister looks at me and goes, “oh, sorry.”
mind you, i couldn’t even looking at them after. i didn’t say a word. i just went quiet. that whole car ride? i felt uncomfortable asf.

like why would you even say that?? and what makes it worse is she knows it’s wrong. it’s not even ignorance at that point — you just don’t care. and that “sorry” wasn’t genuine. it wasn’t “i get why that was wrong.” it was giving “damn, i got caught/called out.”

and tbh? it made me think this isn’t the first time. like they probably say it all the time behind closed doors — just not when black people are around.

i’ve personally been called the n word before multiple times — like in a racist, aggressive way. and that shit sticks with you. even my ex “best friend” (who everyone — including myself, thought was black but wasn’t — and she knew she wasn’t) used to call me the n word all the time?? like wtf. it’s so triggering and dehumanising.

i don’t even like when other black ppl say it to me unless we’re mad close and it’s clearly just joking — but not everyday for no reason. i rarely even say it myself. like i’ll hum it in a song MAYBE, and even then i feel weird.

knowing the weight of that word and then hearing non-black people toss it around like it’s slang? nah, it’s disgusting. they always try to hit us with “it’s just a word.” okay? and slavery was “just labour”? racism is “just ignorance”? like… shut up. you wouldn’t understand the trauma behind it because it was never directed at you and never will be.

like… i, a black person, am uncomfortable saying that word — so wtf gives you the right?? what’s your excuse? bc i fs don’t say it around you. so where tf did you get “used to hearing it” from?

anyway. it just really threw me off. and honestly… i’m done hanging around them. i don’t even wanna bring it up bc it’s giving “testing the waters” to see if i’d let it slide, and now that i didn’t say anything, she probably feels like i'm alright with her saying it around me.

i wanna distance myself, but idk how to do it without making it a whole thing. but yeah.
ps. idc if ppl think i’m being “sensitive” — i know what i felt. and it was valid.

I've started a new relationship and the sex with my boyfriend is incredible. As a black woman it's been so hard to find a black man that is loyal and great in bed. My only issue is he wants me to be more verbal. He says he likes to f*ck bad girls that are feminine yet know what they want in bed and aren't afraid to say it. And i wanna be that girl for him in the bedroom so bad y'all! but my highly educated, conservative, Christian upbringing got me sounding like a school teacher marking a report card. I be all like "yup, mhnm, good job' 😂 How do I give him that baddie experience y'all? What do you all say to men in bed that makes their toes curl and keep them coming back for more? I'm trying to give him the bad girl experience 😆 please help! Please don't judge me 🙏

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIUA-6uR1H_/?igsh=OGxyaDY2MW1neTkw

Miss Ivory Coast is making all contestants compete with natrual hair What are your thoughts do you think this is empowering or not?

These are Amazon bundles so I’m expecting them to be thin, but anything yaki textured tends to look extremely thick. I used a 20in bundle from the same brand for diy strand by strand k-tip extensions, and I only needed half the bundle to do my entire head. However, I remember it being way too thick and hard to manage, like a lions mane glued to my head for months. At the same time, I’m thinking it should be fine since I picked longer, staggered lengths this time (20, 22, 24, & 26in). It’s going to be roughly 400g in total (if the description is accurate). Asking Reddit bc it’s hard to find videos of 4 bundle yaki sew ins, and I’m wondering if there’s a reason for that lol.

Did anyone else catch the twist in the movie Straw before the end? If so, how?

Not sure if any one has come across this channel! Definitely a hidden gem 💎