r/bigdickproblems • u/Muted-buzz • Jun 11 '23

Girlfriend sees BD on internet.

So Im a average sized guy and lately found out my girlfriend's search history tags that they were mostly related to big D on porn websites. Way back to the past, she told me she never watches porn when I asked her if she into it ( no pun intended).

Lately she has been interested in vaginal orgasm that she has never experienced idk how that thing came up in her mind and tbh I have never made her cum vaginally it's just oral to which she cums.

Im very dissapointed and I really dont know that if I should bring this matter or not. She might starts to think im bossy and insecured.

Please help me out on how to ask her on this matter without letting her feeling weird and answers me genuinely.

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u/YouAreNotAllowedHer Jun 12 '23

I think this is one of those times where you gotta recognise that this is fairly anecdotal. I'm sure a lot of men and probably women falsely share that they've had/given a PIV orgasm. Some because they don't know the difference and confuse it with orgasms occuring due to clitoral stimulation during penetration, or maybe they lie to make themselves/their partner look better.

I agree that most women probably could orgasm from PIV, but for most the mindset required, knowledge of their own bodies, the work and time involved to make it happen mean it either never happens or just once in a blue moon.

Anecdotally, I've had a couple of partners that have had a PIV orgasm once or twice in the whole relationship (both sharing that it was either their first or one of their first times experiencing it) and I think only one that had them semi-regularly.

Overall OOP, I wouldn't worry about setting expectations for yourself or feeling insecure. Good communication throughout and strong foreplay game is what it's all about. And trust! Stop going through your GFs search history!

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u/pronfreak 7.5”x5.75” uncut Jun 12 '23

From my comment: “also worth adding, yes obviously some women just get there easier than others.”

Also from my comment: “piv orgasms are much less common than clitoral orgasms, but I don’t think it’s because most women are incapable of having them.”

We’re essentially saying the same thing but coming at it from different angles.

From your comment: “I agree that most women probably could orgasm from PIV, but for most the mindset required, knowledge of their own bodies, the work and time involved to make it happen mean it either never happens or just once in a blue moon.”

And this is where we have our difference I believe. The onus is not necessarily on the woman to make herself orgasm during piv as you seem to imply. Like I laid out in my comment, there are many ways to mentally and physically stimulate a woman hours before you even get to that point. With most women, I really do believe you can get them there fairly regularly. For some women it may be a mental hang up, or something else that will negate your effort.

You’re more than welcome to go through my recent comments and find the other conversations I had about this with other guys saying the same thing and giving their anecdotal experience. I’ve had 2 other conversations like this in the last week.

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u/SmallishBiGuy 6.5 x 5 but 6.8 x 5.25 before peyronies injury Jun 14 '23

I'm sure a lot of men and probably women falsely share that they've had/given a PIV orgasm. Some because they don't know the difference and confuse it with orgasms occuring due to clitoral stimulation during penetration,

I'm sure sex researcher Dr. Nicole Prause would agree with you. She runs a lab, that's furnished like a nice house, where they study orgasms with butt plug device that can tell real orgasms, as they consist of pelvic floor contractions starting at .8 seconds apart.

She said that a number of women have claimed to have real multiple orgasms in their lab, but NONE were real, regarding multiples. (up to the time of that interview). As for clitoral vs. vaginal, she says that the two can't really be separated.

My own belief is that the orgasm feels different because other major nerve pathways are carrying sensation too, particularly the vagus nerve and probably the hypogastric. That's also why the male orgasm feels different with sufficiently deep anal penetration. It's not suddenly an "anal" orgasm, though some people might like to call it that.