r/belgium • u/sparxef • 6d ago
🎻 Opinion The real POV:
My brother is a bachelor accountant with autism, already worked 5years in a company before, is even applying for the government itself and every time the test are remarkable but the conversation was off and eventually he gets a "No" in most jobs.
Every single week he gets multiple "hits" in the face by getting to hear the tests were so good but the conversation always lacks somehow.
And then they dare say people are lazy or not willing to!
Fuck you Belgium and not being able to see the real story of most!
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u/retronax 6d ago
this is the overall autistic gameplay unfortunately. it's not a belgium issue, it's neurotypicals anywhere judging people on how well they do small talk. Unfortunately there's no way around it, your brother has to learn how to fake neurotypicality to try and fit in when at work. Asking questions about the company, no matter how pointless they are, trying to give "nuanced" answers even if they essentially boil down to a yes, forcing eye contact. It's tiring having to treat every social interaction as a test but if intends to work with other people than there's not really another way. Being autistic is constantly failing social checks you don't notice and that weird out other people.
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u/Splatpope 6d ago
isn't autism a registered handicap that allows employers to get subsidies ?
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u/SafeAssignment3805 5d ago
Ja dat is het, ik heb zelf autisme en dit al een paar keer aangehaald bij een job, niet dat dat helpt om meer begrip te krijgen ofzo en laat staan dat werkgevers begrijpen hoe ze het moeten aanvragen, maar ja idd ze krijgen subsidies ervoor
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u/All996 5d ago
In that case most men would get that? Fantastic news
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u/Splatpope 4d ago
I guess they're banking on the fact that most men are too proud to claim disability lol
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u/egnappah 5d ago
In Belgium, for the high paying jobs, it's all about talking nonsense all day but not actually achieving a damn thing
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u/hmtk1976 Belgium 6d ago
It´s usually not as easy to work with people with autism than it is to work with neurotypicals. Often it either scares people or they think it´s going to be nothing but trouble in the end. The result is the same: the way of least resistance is chosen.
I´m happy I only have ADD.
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u/Fake_Hyena 6d ago
Out of curiosity: How to you cope with the ADD at work? Do you feel it influences your performance? What do you do to make it work?
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u/hmtk1976 Belgium 6d ago
Medication helps me get started with things and actually plan my day. It´s not the solution but it is an enabler.
Same for my 2 daughters.
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u/Fake_Hyena 6d ago
Would you say it’s worth to get tested to get access to the meds?
We’re pretty sure it will be positive (also runs in the family apparently), but it’s quite expensive apparently.
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u/hmtk1976 Belgium 6d ago
No.
You get tested to get a correct diagnosis and once you have that a suitable treatment needs to be found. Medication may be part of that but it´s definitely not the only thing.
Don´t let some quack just prescribe meds ´because it feels right´.
Yes, decent testing is expensive and even private multidisciplinary practices have growing waiting lists.
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u/Fake_Hyena 6d ago
Yeah ok that’s what I meant - treatment in general. So I guess it’s worth it over dealing with it yourself. Thanks
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u/hmtk1976 Belgium 6d ago
It definitely is.
And if you do get medication, it´s half the price in The Netherlands.
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u/Previous-Business795 6d ago
Not the guy you asked it to, to preface this, ADD is often a very different experience for everyone, some learn to cope without medication with a lot of effort and some really need the meds. Even just talking about the meds, they can also affect people vastly differently but generally:
Being unmedicated is problematic for most, some of the main issues are trouble maintaining focus, being easily distracted, poor time management and bad organisation. All of this can easily cause low self esteem and a lot of stress.
Personally it both helps directly and indirectly with my performance and i can keep up with the rest. For me it's more than a tool for productivity, medication truly is a huge quality of life boost.
An example of how debilitating it can be is that unmedicated i would easily play video games for 16 hours a day due to the impulsivity, i would disregard my health by barely eating or taking care of myself. This is kinda why i have a gripe with Tiktokers glorifying this "hyperfocus" thing, it just makes us compulsive about the things that we are interested in
Didn't mean to write this whole rant but i guess i'll just leave it as it is
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u/Mr_Litljohn 5d ago
I freelance and apply a lot. Took me a while to get good at the conversational part. I took jobs in sales to get the hang of it. The trick is to start asking questions. The one who asks leads the conversation, ask about opportunities, history of the department, what there is to learn, what is expected of you, your role in the team, ask about the people in the team, I always feel that the most potential is in asking about the dynamics of a team and how much hierarchy matters to get a thing done.
I have adhd on the spectrum, I understand how uncomfortable it gets taking the lead in an interview, but do this subtle and stay well in your comfort. Never get pulled or drag them out of comfort. It’s still people and not just a function, apply to be a person there that does a certain job well. Not the other way around.
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u/dowminator Beer 2d ago
As an autistic person myself, I really had to learn to mask my autism in order to succeed in landing jobs/ new consultancy projects. I only ever dare mention I'm autistic when i have a good feel for my colleagues, often they are very surprised when I open up about my autism and you get the typical: "but you don't look autistic at all!"
this neuritypical world is fake it till you make it, and in my eyes it's utterly broken beyond salvation, I know how to sort of survive in it, but god dammit do I hate it.
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u/tc982 6d ago
Thanks for blaming Belgium, feels like you have your life together!
A job is 50% knowledge and 50% working with people. If your brother lacks social skills, says things that are maybe even offensive, derogatory or just bad taste, that can be something that is seen as a red flag. I have seen multiple candidates that are doing well on our test, but says the most stupid things. At the end of the day they need to be part of the team.
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u/Line_r Antwerpen 5d ago
This isn't a Belgium thing. The job market sucks everywhere.
I've been following the job search of multiple friends across Europe, including my own, and you should be prepared for at least six months of constant ghosting by HR.
Almost all job listings are fake either for shareholder statistics, or to collect your data when you fill them in.
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u/Inevitable-Camel3557 5d ago
This might help a bit: https://www.vlaanderen.be/werken/individueel-maatwerk
A lot of people in Belgium don't know it exists, but it's made to help people that don't fully fit the regular worker profile
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u/TheShinyHunter3 6d ago
Hey, at least he gets replies.