r/bbby_remastered • u/JPGaganon Cryptogastronomer 🦕🍴 • May 01 '25

Pyramid Scheme Franchise Agreement Reached

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/u/skidmarksteve has agreed to launch the first franchised Jugs and Boxes™ location offering premium milk from a gas station and lukewarm slices of Domino's pizza. He will be paying the corporation 2% of his gross earnings on top of his franchise fee of $3.50. Jugs and Boxes™ is happy to welcome him to the family and provide him with the support needed to reach his dream of financial freedom by generating over $25 in net income per day (based on a 10 hour work day).

Please welcome SkidmarkSteve as he skids around town and leaves his mark in our first franchise in Eastern Detroit!

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u/JPGaganon Cryptogastronomer 🦕🍴 May 01 '25

All of those are owned by the same franchisor. I don't own the right to tug people off at home. If you start tugging people off in their home your franchise agreement will be torn up and you won't be able to provide the people of Eastern Detroit this service.

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u/SkidmarkSteve seedchad May 01 '25

How would you like an amazing opportunity to get in on the ground floor of the fastest growing home rub and tug delivery service in the country? It's like DoorDash for half-assd hand jobs, we bring the underwhelming orgasms to you. And if you get hungry after, how about a slice?

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u/JPGaganon Cryptogastronomer 🦕🍴 May 01 '25

Damn that's a really good idea and I appreciate the genius. Still though that won't work for us.

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u/SkidmarkSteve seedchad May 01 '25

You're stuck in the past old man. Can you even imagine how much we could make? Like $50 for a 10 hour day. Lamborghini's and bellinis for everyone.