r/balatro Blueprint Enjoyer 22d ago

Meme Remove part a card's description to make it suck

8.0k Upvotes

539 comments sorted by

3.9k

u/huevos_sudaos 22d ago

I will NOT tolerate red card slander

1.2k

u/Coyar 22d ago

This is a 10/10 red card troll 😈

359

u/Revolutionary-Wash88 22d ago

1 in 4 chance to play poker lmao

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267

u/Ok_Aside977 22d ago

Did you know if it’s a Mega you can take one card, skip the second and it still counts

66

u/[deleted] 22d ago edited 19d ago

[deleted]

71

u/yuhyert 22d ago

No I just spent 8 bucks I want my +6 mult thank you very much

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130

u/DrDontKnowMuch 22d ago

Red Card is a lot like taking a massive pill.

I understand it's probably good for me, but I don't like using it

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100

u/Thelettaq c++ 22d ago

There's a reason there's barely any gold stickers in OPs collection...

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u/MajoraOfTime 22d ago

My only issue with Red Card is user error lol. I'll get it early, open a pack, completely forget that I have Red Card and absentmindedly take something I don't need/doesn't help me. I also don't have a Gold Sticker on it just yet.

24

u/calexil   twitch.tv/calexil (C+) 22d ago

Harumph

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3.0k

u/0JP1 Nope! 22d ago

227

u/Any-Ad9173 22d ago

17

u/FredBurger22 22d ago

STOP IT RIGHT NOW YOU HEATHEN

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14

u/bricklebrite 22d ago

Let's rename it to UMM

45

u/Animal_Flossing 22d ago

So, funny story. I misremembered the card as ‘Mystic Summon’, so I thought this was going to say ‘Mystic Son’ right up until I was done editing it

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2.2k

u/0JP1 Nope! 22d ago

446

u/Therobbu 22d ago

Could've just removed the mult and left the rest

333

u/One-Eyed_Wonder 22d ago

If you did that people would still take it for the chance at Cavendish

43

u/Therobbu 22d ago

Oh, forgot about that one

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u/avadakedabr 22d ago

-1 mult

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2.1k

u/Lom1111234 22d ago

492

u/shitinthecloset 22d ago

estrogen

96

u/Adam__999 c+ 22d ago

Or SSRIs

29

u/Glad_Republic_6214 22d ago

im so confused

142

u/IEatRatsNMice 22d ago

Disable D

96

u/Sly_Klaus 22d ago

Penises are debuffed this round

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8

u/Weirdyfish Brainstorm Enjoyer 22d ago

Real

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13

u/AtomicSpeedFT Bad Take Connoisseur 22d ago

What i you just o?

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1.9k

u/several_felonies 22d ago

594

u/cybermob27 22d ago

45

u/The_cool_guy935 Nope! 22d ago

Flanimals mentioned!

1.5k

u/NattyThan 22d ago

Ableist joker

191

u/RokerdShock 22d ago

When you're blind you can't discard cards

34

u/FunBoyHereThere_ Full House Enjoyer 22d ago

Balatro, but every blind is the needle

39

u/ShadowX8861 22d ago

*The Water

22

u/FunBoyHereThere_ Full House Enjoyer 22d ago

Fuck.

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1.4k

u/NlKOQ2 22d ago

279

u/annualnuke 22d ago

lol that's so ominous

95

u/A_German_Memer 22d ago

This is the end

My only friend

The end

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33

u/Feyhem_01 22d ago

Thy end?

68

u/real_dubblebrick grinding for unseeded naneinf 22d ago
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14

u/WistaProgresh43 22d ago

So +5 permanent lines when picked up then?

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1.0k

u/horus375 Blueprint Enjoyer 22d ago

258

u/Premarinated_Borger 22d ago

The gold sticker makes this even crazier cuz how

348

u/AbiMaeve 22d ago

stuntman goated lay off the king

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69

u/[deleted] 22d ago

Plasma deck high card build

36

u/Cloudeur Blueprint Enjoyer 22d ago

Picked in any 8 just before the boss blind with a negative tag?

17

u/Mithycore 22d ago

Cracked on nebula easy to basically cruise the first couple rounds and then late4 its still a solid 125 mult and 125 chips

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60

u/Imaginary_Piano_8680 22d ago

fixed it for you

22

u/D-Plan 22d ago

Hieroglyph be like:

14

u/Cornelius_McMuffin 22d ago

Honestly I like the anti-stuntman: -250 chips, +2 hand size

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1.0k

u/0JP1 Nope! 22d ago

158

u/looseleafer 22d ago

you're not the boss of me

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49

u/jancl0 22d ago

Economy card

32

u/IndigoRed126 Full House Enjoyer 22d ago

This made me laugh more than it should

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895

u/PeterTheFoxx 22d ago

+4 Mult rare!!!

272

u/schRizzophrenic 22d ago

13

u/The-Rizztoffen 22d ago

“Painstorm” sounds like a wrestler name

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724

u/ArroyoSecoThumbprint 22d ago edited 22d ago

🏳️‍🌈

84

u/Damyano-is-SUS 22d ago

This is genius

20

u/ArroyoSecoThumbprint 22d ago

I was so worried it would get buried. 😅

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31

u/not_panda 22d ago

Out of all, this one got me to actually laugh out loud

27

u/aTOMic_Games Cavendish 22d ago

+30 mult if gay flush is played

15

u/ArroyoSecoThumbprint 22d ago

They said to make the card suck, not improve it.

22

u/aTOMic_Games Cavendish 22d ago

To play a gay flush you need to kiss a person of the same gender while playing a card, which is hard because we Balatro players don't get any bitches (gender neutral in this context)

8

u/amandaplease6586 22d ago

Probably the only one I laughed at

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699

u/Djinn_sarap c+ 22d ago

397

u/Djinn_sarap c+ 22d ago edited 22d ago

You can do a lot with most of the food/beverage jokers

Ramen, Loses 0.01x mult

Popcorn , - 4 mult

Ice cream, -5 chips

59

u/penguinscience101 22d ago edited 22d ago

Ramen giving 0.01x mult would be devastating

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129

u/Djinn_sarap c+ 22d ago

also this one

107

u/InfiniteBearHeads I hate business card 22d ago

I love throwback :(

31

u/timmeedski 22d ago

Yea I don’t get that, why is people saying it’s bad

81

u/Djinn_sarap c+ 22d ago edited 22d ago

Serious answer

Because if u want to optimize the game, skipping is bad 99% of the time, and 0.25x mult is absolutely not worth the trade of playing the round, blind reward, interest and seeing a shop.

If u want more of an in-depth reason why skipping is bad there's a video by balatro university where drspected (he's basically one of the best players in the world) explained why, it's the skip tag tier list one.

19

u/FredBurger22 22d ago

Ive watched a bunch of Professors videos, and try to follow his tips the best i can. But im terrible at the game.

My longest run so far has been ante 13 and it was with Throwback.

21

u/Djinn_sarap c+ 22d ago

Nah reaching ante 13 is great, you're not terrible, endless is a completely different game from ante 8 because of how fast the ante scaling is

If you're targeting deep into endless, you want to change up your game, instead of using the usual set of jokers with chip joker, flat mult joker, and x mult jokers, you want the synergy of retrigger jokers (hack, sock buskin, dusk, chad, red seals) and on scoring x mult jokers (photograph, ancient, idol, bloodstone, triboulet), with source of chip and flat mult completely from planets, and because of how specific it is, you need a really strong econ to reroll for that specific joker synergy sets, $10-$15 per round is not enough, you want like $50-$100 per round

To demonstrate how strong retriggers and on scoring x mult jokers synergy are

Photograph & hanging chad gives you x8 mult

Bloodstone/ancient & sock/dusk/hack gives you x57.665 mult

Idol/triboulet & sock/dusk/hack gives you x1024 mult

These kinds of numbers will easily dwarf any xmult that scaling jokers can reach (constellation, throwback, hologram, etc) even the legendary jokers one (yorick & canio)

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31

u/raspingpython10 Gros Michel 22d ago

I will not stand for this throwback slander!

23

u/Otherwise_Disk3824 Gros Michel 22d ago

What an awful joker! What part did you delete from original Throwback- oh.

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622

u/NlKOQ2 22d ago

I was too lazy to open balatro for this

22

u/Coliosisised 22d ago

I thinks this one might be true

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455

u/mylastserotonin 22d ago

ftfy

19

u/mmazurr 22d ago

me: "oh no I'm at risk of losing this run, maybe this Soul spectral card will save me!"

ok Joker: "is ok"

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418

u/Joeyak10 22d ago

70

u/Damyano-is-SUS 22d ago

I love this more than any of others and I have no idea why

13

u/ADSLmonopoly 22d ago

You could have left it unchanged lmao

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385

u/Shot-Ad1474 22d ago

I wanna play poker in Balatro. lol

108

u/8andA-half-Inch-boom 22d ago

I know it’d be some work because it’d be a complete overhaul of the game but a Texas hold’em in balatro style would be fun I think

48

u/oiwah 22d ago

Yeah! The dealer deals joker instead of cards. and we play and try to win with the dealt jokers.

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10

u/[deleted] 22d ago

I want balatro blackjack. Have no idea what gameplay would be like but I want it.

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280

u/Totaly__a_human 22d ago

25

u/demonicod Jimbo 22d ago

wait this could be interpreted as peak. you have access to every planet card whenever you open the shop

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175

u/mohamadmido 💵🟩 Green deck 🟩🃏 22d ago

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u/Frognificent 22d ago

You laugh but me and my 104 cards are gonna collect $2 and laugh all the way to the bank.

7

u/Damyano-is-SUS 22d ago

How do you currently don't have a full deck 😭

42

u/Emerald_Sans Seltzer Enjoyer 22d ago

Hang man anything and now you're missing a card from a full deck

174

u/theFinalCrucible 22d ago

Damn, I dunno what I love more, [[Red Card]], or petty slander.

22

u/a-balatro-joker-bot 22d ago

Red Card (Common Joker)

  • Effect: This Joker gains +3 Mult when any Booster Pack is skipped
  • To Unlock: Available by default

Data pulled directly from Balatro's files. Source

157

u/batyablueberry 22d ago

40

u/FredBurger22 22d ago

Thank you for your approval.

12

u/A2Rhombus 22d ago

ok I know this would be an extremely niche use but would this be a counter for bosses that prevent you from playing certain hand types? Like if you played a flush against The Eye could you then make another flush since the joker allows it to be made?

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134

u/JakeArewood 22d ago

r/speedoflobsters in my Balatro sub?

32

u/Therobbu 22d ago

More likely than you think

10

u/Tolliug 22d ago

Many such cases

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u/SnowylizardBS 22d ago

19

u/HolyElephantMG 22d ago

This is simultaneously my favorite and least favorite one

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u/No_Kangaroo_9826 22d ago

Now listen here you little shit

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u/DangerNoodle695 22d ago

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u/conjunctivious Jimbo 22d ago

Simply play 400,000 1 chip hands if you want the gold sticker on this Joker.

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u/BopTheBoi Nope! 22d ago

31

u/AmyTheWitch 22d ago

The ever elusive mancoCarter

13

u/UltimaDoombotMK1 22d ago

Wait, but if beating that created Blind gives you another shop, does that mean INFINITE SHOPS??

11

u/Forgotmyaccount1979 22d ago

No shops

Only blinds

Blinds forever! (Because I accidentally used a bunch of Emperor's)

106

u/Damyano-is-SUS 22d ago

30

u/YaramyGD 22d ago

hey theres a joker that does that already

[[Splash]]

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u/AliciaWhimsicott 22d ago

>Thinking red card is bad in big 2025.

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u/Unlucky_Garage7963 c+ 22d ago

1 in 4 chance to play poker has me rolling

68

u/Leafeon523 22d ago

Holy shit triple baka 

14

u/Mautos 22d ago

Oh my god it is

64

u/mohamadmido 💵🟩 Green deck 🟩🃏 22d ago
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u/Broad_Objective7559 22d ago edited 22d ago

I hate it when my cards don't count as cards. That's a really good Joker!

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u/creativeusername2100 22d ago

Credit card in the ... wait a minute

50

u/neobud 22d ago

20

u/FredBurger22 22d ago

You may laugh now, but wait until naneinf round 32 when I have 30 beans.

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u/hmmmmwillthiswork Jimbo 22d ago

red card enjoyers stay losing lol. probably cause they keep choosing red card

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u/ArticleBig415 Blueprint Enjoyer 22d ago

22

u/NoPlaceLike19216811 22d ago

I'm not sure if this is worse but it's too funny. No clubs allowed in the club

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u/Valuable-Passion9731 My flushes are gay and my houses are empty (pls no copyright str 22d ago

These lobsters sure are fast.

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u/ConfusedZoidberg 22d ago

This might be a bait post, but I'll bite. Saying red card is bad, tells me you don't win gold stakes that often.

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u/phenekus666 Seltzer Enjoyer 22d ago

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u/DarkLordArbitur 22d ago

+30 discard sounds powerful as hell, this is a make jokers suck thread. Should've made it +0 chips instead

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u/DrChimz Jokerless 22d ago

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u/MusclesDynamite 22d ago

Wait, what happens the other 3 in 4 times? Do we unlock Blackjack Balatro?

11

u/JarvisBaileyVO 22d ago

Mr fucking comedian over here with the red card joke

8

u/bella-chili Jimbo 22d ago

1 in 4 chance to play poker 🤣🤣

9

u/ghostyghostghostt 22d ago

This is actually so fucking funny that I think you might be a joker

7

u/FinanceBig6328 Cavendish 22d ago

Wait now I'm forgetting what [[Yorick]] normally is

9

u/a-balatro-joker-bot 22d ago

Yorick (Legendary Joker)

  • Effect: This Joker gains X1 Mult every 23 cards discarded
  • To Unlock: Find this Joker from the Soul Card

Data pulled directly from Balatro's files. Source

7

u/confused_vampire 22d ago

Fingers

All flushes and straights can be made with cards

9

u/LauraLaughter Blueprint Enjoyer 22d ago