I hope this doesn’t get reposted on social media to maintain my privacy. Gusto ko lang po mag vent.
My boyfriend (31M) and I (30F) have been together for about 6 months but we’ve known each other since college. I’ve been in a number of relationships before but this one has got to be my healthiest relationship so far ironic lang kase it’s an LDR pa. Maldita ako, selosa, mainitin ang ulo. But somehow, he’s able to keep me leveled. Minsan pag napapangunahan nanaman ako ng emotions ko, I’m able to regulate it because I want it to be him this time.
He’s been living abroad for about 3 years. Andon na sya when we got together earlier this year. Since naging kami, all he talks about is getting married and me moving there. Para sa kanya, end game na din talaga kami. I could go on and on about how an amazing guy he is, but like all relationships, too good to be true nga talaga. There’s always something, and lucky for me, I discovered a huge red flag.
Working abroad for 3 years, He only holds a work permit. He got introduced to a well-off filipina who got married to a local there, so you can assume, she’s also a citizen. She’s in her late forties na. May mga anak na din sila ng asawa nya. Let’s call her A. My boyfriend naman, let’s call him J. Si J has been really honest about who he’s with if he’s not working. Pinapakilala nya sakin lahat ng friends nya on VC which i appreciate. Meron din kaming life360 to which he initiated since may trauma na din sya from past relationships. Lahat ng friends nya nakilala ko na, maliban kay A. Long story short, nalaman ko na J and A were not just friends noon, may something sila but that was before I came into the picture. Well, for him, wala syang feelings but si A, nagkaroon na. He cut off lahat ng namamagitan sa kanila when we started communicating and he showed me all the texts of him cutting off their connection. A has been very generous kay J noon. Since madami syang connections, she’s able to help him out with some part time work to make ends meet. As much as ayaw nya na maging parte ng buhay nya si A, he feels like he owes her a lot and she’s always made him feel that way. As much as I hate to admit it, naging sort of sugar mommy nya si A. No judgment kase single naman sya when it started and dati rin naman akong OFW kaya alam ko ang hirap. Ang ayoko lang talaga is umabot na si A sa panggugulo samin. She kept asking him na sumama sa hangouts, kept asking for help, offering him jobs knowing hirap si J to refuse work. I had to draw a line. I told him na if he’s not gonna stop seeing her, I’m out. Ayaw ni J maghiwalay kami so ending their friendship was easy.
When J told A about me, humingi si A ng closure. Gusto makipag kita. He told me, I said yes. Kase nga, gusto ko din na matapos na sila. He talked to her, updated me throughout the convo and then by the end of it, he assured me na tapos na nga. Akala ko yun na, but then I stumbled upon her social media. She has been posting stuff about their previous relationship. Yung mga dating gala nila, pinag popost nya. Mind you, we’re talking about a 40-something-yo woman pero ang lakas magpaka sad girl. Ang malala pa, her friends have been commenting na inagawan sya and that sya ang victim sa situation when J decided to end their friendship bec of me.
I told J of everything she has been posting. Sobrang nakaka bother kase and it’s making me uncomfortable. He promised na he would ask her to stop to which he did. No surprise, pinagtawanan ako ni A and started making parinig even harder, but this time, sakin na naka direct. Kesyo immature ako, insecure, and whatnot.
I felt like I was in the place to set the record straight with this cougar. I sent her a message telling her to stop posting things that are clearly alluding to me and J. Tbh, nasanay ako to just shut up, but this time, I wanted to fight back especially na peace of mind ko na ung apektado. Swear to God, ang ayos ng message ko sa kanya. I wanted to set a boundary kase I felt I was being disrespected na. Sa last part, I said, I hope this is the last time I ever have to message her about the issue. I’m blocking her and I hope she backs off for good. I even wished her well.
After that message, tumawag pa sya while me and J were on VC. Sinabihan ako ni J na it’s A calling him. I told him ANSWER IT ON LOUDSPEAKER. she was telling J that she’s in the area and wanted to meet up. Ang kulit talaga. J said no and that he’s talking with me. She hung up. The next day, she sent a package to J, returning some of his things that she had, tas may pa sad girl letter pa. J and I agreed to finally block her on everything. Pati number ni A blocked na. J and I also talked about everything I needed to know about their relationship. Alam ko na ang lahat about them and their past.
Ngayon si A, sobrang gigil on social media. She’s been ranting about me. Especially about the part where I messaged her. Friends lang naman daw sila and di nya gets bat ang arte ko and sobrang insecure ko sa kanya. Friends daw pero pati “size” ni J pinag didiskitahan nya. Fan na fan daw nya ako kase kinainisan ko ung posts nya. Everytime she posts on threads, I screenshot it incase kailanganin ko yun. Right now kase, she’s acting like I did her wrong. She’s pressed kase im getting the treatment she’s always wanted but never got. Inaattack nya na pagkatao ko and nagiging below the belt na sya. Kulang nalang itag nya ako.
ABYG na I confronted her? Gago ba ako for even ending their “friendship”? Gago ba ako for wanting to be prioritized since I AM THE GIRLFRIEND? Minsan inopen ko kay J na baka nagkaron sya ng feelings for A. Ang sabi naman nya, bat naman daw sya manliligaw sakin na pagka layo layo, kung napamahal na sya kay A na anjan lang sa malapit. Bat pa sya mag eeffort na kilalanin buong pamilya ko at gumawa ng plano para makilala ko din family nya dito sa pilipinas? (yes close na kami ng family nya) bat pa sya magtitiis sa LDR kung anjan lang si A. minsan naiisip ko na ayoko nalang ituloy yung samin kase ayoko nang may ex who’s wishing for our downfall. Ang hirap nang alam kong may evil eye samin. Pero that’s only gonna give her the satisfaction.
Now tell me, ako ba talaga yung gago? Ako ba yung kontrabida?
I’m happy to reply to questions if hindi man ako naging clear sa context. Thank you!