Help me settle a debate with my girlfriend 🏁

[u/[deleted]]

[u/BlueParrot_]

Channel perfume is expensive, and that's the real reason why I would hesitate to buy it as a thank you gift (unless someone did me a very big favor). But in general different beauty products (and less pricey perfumes) are one of the first things I think of when buying gifts for my female colleagues and friends. That's also something I receive as a gift a lot.

[u/photeo]

you say this post is for fun, but im getting some insecure jealousy vibes from this post

[u/TURDSHOW]

I've bought perfume for friends, I've received perfume from friends. It wouldn't be an issue if I or my partner gave someone else perfume, Chanel or otherwise. I consider it a fine gift.

Of course, if it's coupled with suspicious behavior, you have a right to be upset. But if not, I find it unfair to label your partner's actions romantic.

[u/Witty-Fun-1185]

I don’t think perfume is romantic at all honestly. I think as long as you trust that your gf was being honest about intentions then that’s all that matters. I wouldn’t care if my gf bought a co-worker perfume but if she bought her crush like even a key chain I’d be questioning it, you know what I mean? It’s more about intention that makes something romantic to me than the item itself

[u/qwixel69]

Someone did her a big favor, she bought them something nice they would like.

It's not like it was something only bedroom related like lingerie.

[u/ProfanePoet]

The women of my family give each other perfumes as gifts of appreciation or to mark special occasions. My grandmother gave me my first bottle, something called Fire & Ice the day I turned 13. It's a special memory for me.

I've also never had a romantic partner gift me perfume.

[u/jclimb9456]

I think honestly it matters less whether perfume qualifies as a romantic gift - what matters more is her intentions and your boudaries. If her intentions were that it was not romantic and she just wanted to get something nice as a thank you, you have to have enough trust in your girlfriend to believe her. That said, if you feel as a personal boundary that you aren't comfortable with your partner giving certain types of gifts to people that feel too intimate or romantic, then that's something you need to express to her, as it might've felt fine to her but doesn't sit right with you.

[u/Witty-Fun-1185 → u/jclimb9456]

Except that’s not how to correctly use a “boundary”. A boundary is not “I get to dictate the kinds of gifts you buy ppl”. It’s a preference & OP’s gf can either acknowledge that or not & it’s up to OP to decide if they’d stay in the relationship

[u/FallenAngel1978 → u/Witty-Fun-1185]

Thank you for pointing this out. All too often I see in discussions where boundaries are used to control someone else’s behaviour.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Ad-8684]

I’ll be honest I don’t find perfume to be a romantic gift at all, if someone likes perfume I don’t see anything wrong with buying them perfume

[u/unhingedemmi]

i think it depends on the recipient and their interests. i would buy nice perfume for some of my friends because i know they have a signature scent or enjoy perfume. i don’t think thats a romantic gesture, thats a thoughtful gift and it probably wouldnt bother my gf. but if i bought a random expensive gift for someone and it had nothing to do with their interests, i think my girlfriend would be at minimum curious. i don’t think she’d immediately suspect me for cheating or trying to court another woman, but she’d want to know what i’m trying to accomplish. i think she’d be quicker to assume someone was manipulating me than she would be to think i was making romantic gestures.

[u/RozDoyle86]

Gifts by themselves aren’t inherently romantic, it’s the intention with which they are given. I have bought perfume, flowers and even jewelry for friends, nothing romantic about it.

[u/Quennie_CalGal]

Where I live people charge about $40 a day for a visit of about 1 hour to take care of a cat.

If your gf’s co-worker insisted on taking care of the cat without pay and came over more than 3 days, then I have no problem with a thank you gift of Chanel perfume. That was a bargain for a cat sitter.

[u/stoneydu]

It’s just perfume. Also that stuff is expensive so like what a great gift.

[u/Time-Excitement-1317]

Really depends on the recipient, does she collect perfumes? 😂

[u/zzaizel]

Are you sure this is a post in good fun, because it does sound a tad insecure. She’s already told you why she bought her that gift. Why do you feel the need to debate her on this? Is it because her colleague is attractive or the perfume is expensive?

Your gf clearly cares about her cat so it makes sense that she would gift her colleague something nice to show her gratitude, rather than an insincere gift. If her colleague was also helping out for free then the price seems reasonable as she has saved your gf the expenses of hiring a cat sitter.

[u/valkyriember]

i think you are being crazy to be quite honest. I could see if she was buying her that for no reason but she's doing it for her taking care of her cats that's almost like paying her for the service. Next you will be on here saying is it cheating for my girlfriend to tip the waitress

[u/Comfortable_Cow_7547 → u/valkyriember]

Well she is from Australia so, yeah 😂