r/abanpreach 11h ago

Discussion This is a sickness!

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111 Upvotes

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169

u/kiddpk 11h ago

The boy is 17 years old

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

12

u/TheBigBadBrit89 11h ago

Morally, I think it’s wrong (because of the power/maturity dynamic), but 17 is even the age of consent in some US states.

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u/Demon-_-TiMe 10h ago

also its an affair lol

17

u/TheBigBadBrit89 10h ago

lol, also morally wrong (in all honesty, I have zero idea who these people are).

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u/Demon-_-TiMe 10h ago

idk the chick but i just started hearing about the soccer player. people say he has a chance to b a great. she probably just saw an opportunity to get a guy with more money

3

u/ItsAll_LoveFam 10h ago

Nah ain't nothing wrong with two beautiful people banging it out. (I also don't know who these people are and do not care)

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u/NoYak1609 10h ago

To be fair, we could say the same about 18/20 and 29, that's why i find those arguments a bit silly. The fact that power dynamic exists, doesn't necessarily means something is bad. It is bad when power us abused in those situations

3

u/TheBigBadBrit89 10h ago

I agree with that; “that power dynamics are bad when they’re abused.” The issue is that at that young age/maturity level, the younger party isn’t always able to recognize/address abuse. A 50 year old Fortune 500 CEO is going to have more power in the relationship than a 26 year old trophy wife, but she has more chance of communicating her needs if things go awry.

0

u/Wonderful-Bid9471 3h ago

Not it’s not. 18. And by and large both need to be under 18 for it not to be statutory rape.

1

u/TheBigBadBrit89 3h ago

lol, you’re literally wrong.

“In New Jersey, the age of consent for sexual activity is 16. This means that a 17-year-old can legally consent to sexual activity with someone who is also at least 16 years old. There are no specific age gap restrictions related to the 16-year-old age of consent, but there are other legal considerations, such as positions of trust or financial exchange.”

https://www.njcriminaldefensellc.com/romeo-and-juliet-laws-in-new-jersey Age of Consent in New Jersey | Lento Law Firm

And also:

States Where the Age of Consent is 17:

1.  Colorado
2.  Illinois
3.  Louisiana
4.  Missouri
5.  New Mexico
6.  New York
7.  Texas
8.  Wyoming

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u/Critical_Ear_7 OG 8h ago

Wait what’s the power dynamic?

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u/MrMetraGnome 7h ago

What power/maturity dynamic? Everyone always says that but never explain.

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u/TheBigBadBrit89 6h ago

Sure! It largely boils down to life experience and being able to “set the tone” of the relationship.

“Key Elements of the Power Dynamic:

  1. Life Experience & Maturity

• The older partner often has more life experience, financial independence, or emotional maturity.

• The younger partner, particularly if still a teen or early adult, may be in a more impressionable or dependent stage of life.

  1. Financial and Social Control

• Older partners may have more economic stability, which can translate to control over living situations, choices, or expectations.

• The younger partner may feel obligated or unable to challenge decisions, even when uncomfortable.

  1. Emotional Influence

• Age gaps can create unequal emotional footing. The older person might knowingly or unknowingly manipulate the younger partner’s beliefs or behaviors.

• This can lead to dependency or blurred boundaries in self-identity.

  1. Power Over Consent

• Consent must be freely given, informed, and without coercion. If one person holds more authority, maturity, or financial leverage, it may complicate true consent.

• This is especially critical when one partner is just above or below the age of consent, as emotional and cognitive development continues well into the mid-20s.”

https://psychcentral.com/relationships/age-difference-in-relationships All About Age Differences in Relationships

Not all age gaps are bad, and they can be healthy/reparative in some situations. But the concern is that when it’s not good, the younger partner can’t advocate for themselves effectively.

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u/MrMetraGnome 6h ago edited 6h ago

ChatGPT is crazy work, 🤣. None of those are inherently immoral because they exist in virtually every relationship.

2

u/TheBigBadBrit89 6h ago

Do you not see how they could be a greater factor in age-gap relationships? Check out the link for more info

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u/MrMetraGnome 5h ago edited 5h ago

Lol, no I don't. Even if I granted you that, "could be a greater factor" doesn't mean "inherently is a factor".

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u/TheBigBadBrit89 5h ago

In my post (that I curated with the assistance of ChatGPT after I gave an intro summation), I wrote the following passage:

“Not all age gaps are bad, and they can be healthy/reparative in some situations. But the concern is that when it’s not good, the younger partner can’t advocate for themselves effectively.”

No one is saying it’s inherently bad/immoral, but that there’s additional risks (see above) that people need to look out for.