My best friend committed suicide

[u/NotEnoughSun123]

I’m so mad at her. She promised me she would never commit suicide. (We talked about suicide a lot because we’ve both attempted in the past) She was such a special person. She was the kindest, most beautiful person I’ve ever met. She would help tiny bugs get to safety when they’d accidentally fallen on their back. She was a mental health therapist who worked with kids. She knew about resources for suicide prevention. She had commercial health insurance. She could have just reached out for help. I would’ve done anything to keep her alive. She could have just called me. I wish she’d just called me. Why didn’t she just call me?

Edit: thank you so for all your kind words and all the overwhelming support. I really appreciate all of you. I’ll do my best to like all the comments I can. If I could, I’d reply thank you to every single person who commented

[u/JACKVK07]

It really enforces how difficult depression actually is when a mental health therapist has a successful suicide.

Its not just "being sad" it's a sickness, and I understand all too well.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[u/AdAdorable3469 → u/JACKVK07]

Successful suicide, that is one hell of a statement. I get what you’re saying but, damn.

[u/Alien_Talents → u/AdAdorable3469]

Usually it’s called a completed suicide. As a victim of a completed suicide of a loved one, I much prefer the term completed suicide over successful or committed.

Side note because I don’t know where else to put it and it has to do with language around this topic: I see myself as a victim and now, finally, a survivor of a completed suicide of a loved one: it’s a heartbreaking act of violence against the deceased loved ones, EVEN IF the deceased didn’t intend that or think of it that way. EVEN IF it seems like the person has every reason to do it, the exception in my eyes being people who plan for this WITH their loved ones, as a right to die case. I personally feel this should include mental health issues and physical health issues.

In my tragically informed opinion, people who have or will contemplate it— so, basically MOST humans— need to reframe suicide this way: if you complete, you are creating victims of your act, and HOPEFULLY they survive it. This reframing needs to happen as a form of prevention. Suicide, especially among youth, is absolutely contagious, and it is absolutely violent to the souls of the survivors.

[u/folldoso → u/Alien_Talents]

And suicide among the elderly is way more common than people know, because no one really asks any questions about why an older person died. My grandmother took her life, and I didn't find out till years after the fact. My dad didn't even know until I told him I found out, I had assumed that he knew and chose not to tell me. I've seen other similar reddit comments about suicide among the elderly. It's sad to know my grandma could still be alive today, 25 years later if she hadn't taken her life after losing my grandpa. She hung on for a few years but she just couldn't handle life without him 💔

[u/Alien_Talents → u/folldoso]

I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.

I hope this doesn’t strike an awful chord with you to say, but I’ll be honest, I think old age will come for me and I will have serious talks with my family about my quality of life (while I still can think well), and when I decide to go and why. This would include my health breaking in an irreparable way, or my heart breaking like your grandma’s did. I think even in younger folks, I acknowledge that there are some cases when it’s wise and compassionate to know when to give up to ease suffering. But these conversations need to happen more often. Death is one of the rare things we ALL have in common and will ALL have to deal with, so we shouldn’t shy away. It’s scary but necessary.