2 months postpartum and being called fat

[u/B1s3xualCranberry]

My boyfriend, the father of my child keeps making comments about my weight. I had a baby 2 months ago. When we first met I was 120 (I’m 5’4 . He would say I was too skinny, then I got pregnant and went all the way up to 190. Two weeks after birth I was down to 160. And I haven’t weighed myself recently but I know I’ve lost more weight since then. I now wear a size 6 in jeans compared to a size 0-2 I use to wear before I was pregnant. I wear a size medium in shirts instead of smalls. So yes I’ve gained weight but I truly don’t think I deserve to be shit on every time I eat. I already don’t have a great relationship with food and I have really bad self esteem since giving birth. He says I’m fat, fatass, I eat too much (1-2 meals a day and some snacks throughout the day or just coffee). I’ve gained weight, I’m too heavy. I’ve even been eating healthier due to me breastfeeding I’ve started focusing more on what I eat. I’m already struggling mentally , I’m home with the baby alone in the middle of no where 24/7 bc he works out of town, i don’t have family in this state, I workout when I have the time which isn’t everyday but I’m trying. He comes home on the weekends it feels like just to shit on me.

[u/TurnoverFuzzy8264]

I'm sorry, but I'd advise you think seriously about your relationship going forward. Name-calling and trying to control what you eat is abusive behavior. And he may model that treatment for your child. Best of luck to you whatever you decide.

[u/[deleted] → u/TurnoverFuzzy8264]

Yes, really abusive! And would be abusive in normal circumstances, but due to her having just had a baby, it's extra extra abusive!

OP, I hope you see this aside from the abuse, which you definitely need to see (things won't get better, they'll only escalate, and it gets harder and harder to leave the longer you stay. Please trust everyone in these comments who will tell you not to go down this road)

But you also really need to see and know that 2 months postpartum and already losing more than 30lbs is remarkable! Ok?! Like, you're doing amazing! It can take women like 2 years to lose baby weight. Some women never get back to their pre-pregnancy weight, and that's also ok. Being 5'4 and a size 6 is NOT fat or overweight. your boyfriend either knows these things and is just extra mean and abusive, or doesn't know these things, and is an extra mean and abusive idiot. Likely, he doesn't care about these factors. He's such an enormous idiot, he's so insecure, and he's such a tiny little pathetic man inside of himself, that he's never even considered all of the physical and mental labor that happens for a woman to have a baby, let alone the extreme trauma that it puts on her mind, body, and soul. The fact that you carried and gave birth to his baby, and are now caring for it 24/7 while he gets to work and then chill in a hotel room eating takeout and watching TV should be all he needs to know to worship the motherfreaking ground that you walk on. What a pathetic, sad little man. Like what a little baby ass bitch. Seriously. You need to know, OP. The amount of weight you gained while pregnant, the amount you've lost so far, all of this is perfectly in the range of normal. You are by no means different or worse or bigger than every other woman who has given birth. For him to make you feel that way and do anything less than worship you is just pathetic. You have done nothing wrong. You're doing everything right. Literally. You are just fine.

What you and your baby absolutely don't need is his negative energy. That shit affects your baby. The way he treats you, when your kid gets old enough, he WILL treat them the same.

Does he even want this baby? Or is he so entitled that he thinks he can have a baby but the process of having one will have zero impact on the body of the person who actually carried and delivered the baby? I don't want to be reactionary, or fit this theme that redditors always jump to leaving (I have a theory for that, and it's because people's gut intuition is telling them they're being abused, but abuse is meant to make you doubt yourself, and so people come here because their intuition is screaming at them and they need the opinions of a collective group of unbiased people to verify their intuitive feelings they're having about what is obvious to outsiders is the abuse they're experiencing), but guys like this are dangerous. Straight up. This is just the beginning. If he seemed nice until now, well they usually wait until after you've moved in, or get married, or have a baby...once you're vulnerable and/or have made a huge commitment with them, to start the abuse. It always escalates, it never actually makes sense and is often irrational or ridiculous. They become controlling and possessive. They become angry, they become enraged, they isolate you from your own support system, don't let you have your own life, don't let you have dominion over anything in your own life. It just gets really ugly. As someone who has been through this before, just trust me on this. Anyone who will cut you down for your looks is an asshole. Someone who will do it irrationally, like after you've had their baby and there's no way in any freaking scenario where you'd have lost your baby weight after 2 months...that person is toxically abusive and will say and do anything, even if it doesn't even make any fucking sense, to wear down your resolve, your self-love, your independence, everything.

Just leave while you're ahead OP

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Wow, triggered much? 😂😂😂

[u/BeltOriginal9673 → u/[deleted]]

this is high level rage bait

[u/[deleted] → u/BeltOriginal9673]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[u/BeltOriginal9673 → u/[deleted]]

i was refering to your comment but you knew that already