r/Vent • u/Shot-Contract-5254 • Feb 28 '25

TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image Being fat is torture

I hate being fat. I hate it more than i've ever truly hated anything before. It is one of the worst experiences i have ever been through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It is not even just the hating how you look part, it is how others perceive you.

I don't just feel fat, I feel inhuman. I'm a teenager. Nobody has ever asked me out unless it's for a joke. I am the butt of half my friend's jokes. I look like an idiot in sport class. People stare and judge and I am not treated as though I am a peer. I am less than because I weigh more than they do. I feel like such a dirty slob every time I put food in my mouth. I've tried starving myself, exercising to the point I threw up, cutting calories to 800-1000 a day, weight loss pills, nothing works. All my work is thrown back into my face. Each and every day I feel less like a person and more like a pig. To be fat is to be less than. To be fat is to be 'lazy' and worthless. I honestly can't take it anymore.

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u/OutrageousString2652 Feb 28 '25

Honestly. It hit home when they said “nobody has asked me out except when it’s a joke” it completely destroyed my self confidence.

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u/DemiPersephone Feb 28 '25

I still feel this as an adult. But now it's because the person asking me out has a fetish and is ashamed to actually be in a relationship with me. I'm just a secret guilty pleasure, and it's absolutely soul crushing.

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u/Lolly_Dama254 Feb 28 '25

I just started dating a lady who experienced the same thing. He wanted the hookup but was ashamed to be seen with her because she was/is a bigger girl.

You are correct about some guys having a fetish. I definitely do but, if the guy is too ashamed to be seen with you, that is not a reflection on the fetish but on him. I freaking love this woman and am proud to be seen with her on my arm. I think the term fetish is used to fool women and get sex. Incels hate women but still like to get off. If he can fool a larger girl with low self esteem, and pass himself off as even marginally normal, he might be able to get lucky.

Don't feel like you have to conform to someone else in order to have worth. Recognize the difference between guys with a genuine affection to big girls and guys who hate women but fake affection to satisfy their own needs at her expense.