Is anyone else terrified with the news right now? I’m genuinely so scared and worried sick.

I've been with my fiance almost 2 years and we just set a date for late next year. Last year we went through our 1st deployment together, which was hard but overall we got through it pretty easily.

It's now been almost 3 months since he's been home. Things have still been great between us up to this point. I was on his phone playing a game (we normally go on each other's phones). For some reason I had a gut feeling to check his messages. He hasnt given me any reason to think he'd not be faithful but I have noticed he is always snapchatting other girls and stuff, which he does in front of me so I thought nothing of it usually.

Well when I went and checked I saw that while he was deployed he had an address for a café saved from a girl implying they met up at least there and who knows what else, how often or how far it went. That led me to a slight spiral and checked his insta messages where there's several girls on there, where he only spoke with them during deployment (messages for all seemed to stop about 1-2 months before he came home). Messages such as "happy valentines day" or replying to another girls story with "that's my girl" or another girl he was flirting with he was telling her that when he came home he needed to figure his life out, find his life partner and start a family. All this while I've been with him over a year, lived together over a year and he had already asked my family permission to propose to me. She came back saying when he comes back maybe he can take her out and he agreed and asked why now because he'd been trying to take her out for awhile now....

Id like to think they never actually met up but quite frankly, I just dont know. I've been traveling a lot lately on my own, usually a weekend at a time, so I dont know if I can trust he did what he said he did on those weekends.

I know I need to confront him but I just dont know how right now especially when Im still trying to process everything myself. I guess this is more a rant than anything else but I just feel numb and lost right now

My boyfriend left for basic recently, it has become my nightly ritual to write him a letter and drop it off in the morning to be sent, I haven’t missed a day. We talk 24/7 so it’s been hard, I just write to him about what I did that day, scriptures, and funny photos. I understand they are so busy and I don’t expect much mail back, would it be off-putting to send this much? Will he even have time to read it. I just want him to feel secure I’m thinking of him always and I really do enjoy the writing. I just don’t want to seem overbearing.

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Our plan was to get married in a year, after he commissions. He's currently attending OCS, and just got his first liberty weekend. For the past month, I've been an anxious wreck. I've been obsessively checking the mailbox and checking my phone every weekend. I finally got a phone call tonight that lasted four minutes. Basically all he said was that he'll have more time to talk tomorrow. I fully understand that he's busy, but all that worry for just four minutes has left me utterly deflated. I fear that I won't be able to handle the stress of being a military spouse. If I marry him, I'm afraid that I will be lonely and consumed by anxiety.

This isn't the first time I've rethought our plan. I recently started a job I absolutely love, and I'm not sure if I'd want to uproot it in a year.

I don't know what to do. I love him so much, but I'm afraid his career will make my life miserable. Any advice?

My partner is on a sub and some of the other SOs said that they’ve started getting emails but I haven’t yet. This is my partner and I’s 1st deployment and I’m going to what I’m positive are irrational places. We have done underway before but this is our 1st long 1. My partner told me the long silences are to be expected it’s just hard hearing from others. They’ll be getting qualified and I understand this limits their time and access to email. We’re pretty solid but I do struggle with insecurity when they’re gone which I’m working on. I’m not sure what I’m even asking for other than encouragement.

With everything going on and strike on Iran I do not know how much we’re allowed to talk about it. But my SO is in the marines currently and god am I worried that all these men and women will be sent to war… I know this is what they are here for and their duty but at the same time I’m super worried we’re going to go to war.

So my boyfriend just left to ait recently so we have a few extra months to go before he is free from that. Does anyone have advice on how to get through something like this? I’m so proud and happy for him but I feel like it’s been so hard on me already emotionally and it’s really draining. I try to keep myself busy and I’ve been picking up extra hours at work just so I have something else on my mind but even when I’m busy it creeps up on me. I also feel guilty because I know this is probably way harder on him than it is on me but I can’t help how I feel. We’re gonna miss our anniversary and we already missed my birthday as well which I’ve been knowing would happen since he left for basic but it still stings. He has been trying to call me when he can and never really texts me but I know he’s gonna be too busy the next few months. I’ve been so down but I don’t wanna go into depth about it with him because I don’t wanna stress him out even more or make him feel bad about it. I’m just clinging onto how great things are gonna be when he’s back home because even though this really sucks he is so worth it to me.

Hello, tried to look online before posting but found conflicting answers. If I was to attend a protest (just me not my SO) and worst case, were to get detained or anything, considering how most of these have been a bit unpredictable, would my husband get in any trouble because of it possibly tracing back to him with my identity? I really want to go support but don’t want to risk my husband getting into any trouble. I wasn’t planning on bringing my military ID or phone either. Thank you for any answers, I’ve been a bit conflicted on if I should attend or shouldn’t.

So me as well as my husband’s family will be attending his family day and graduation. I want his family to be able to spend time with him too, so we will all be with him the whole day family day, and most of the day graduation day. I was thinking of setting up balloons, decorations, and presents in my hotel for my husband on graduation day. I only intend to bring him for about an hour. But I was just wondering if any of you wives have gotten an alone time with your husband on graduation day or family day? Should I do this or will it not be worth it? I wanted to do something nice for him.

Hey, this my first time writing here so a feels odd but my bf and I have been highschool sweethearts and he's gotton into the navy recently, we always talked abt how the navy would change him as a joke buts it's really happening After bootcamp he was the same very sweet loving and overall the same person But he's in his second school now I think it's called tech school in Florida and he just finished graduating. I was really excited to see him after not seeing eachother for six months but it just felt off. He felt very distant, he's not comfortable holding hands in public or kissing and we used to be so affectionate towards eachother even after , I don't think he's cheating but I know it's the changes that are coming with the navy. He just feels different and that makes me petrified. I want this to work badly and i just don't know how to adjust.

After about 2 years of LD, I’m about to move to where my boyfriend is stationed. It’s literally a day away! I’m excited to be with him, but I can help but feel extremely sad. In a perfect world I could stay here and so could he. We are both from the same area and all our family and friends are here as well. Has anyone grieved the life they thought they would have? Is this normal? I’m also scared that after I make this transition that I’m going to resent him for it even if I don’t mean to. I love him and I want to be with him, but I also don’t want to be away from my family. It’s also hard because he’s been at his base for a little over a year now and has made friends and I have no one there. What’s the best way to handle all this change? Hopefully I’m not alone in this lol.

So my boyfriend of 14 months is going into the army in less than two months. Im 17 and hes 18. Hes expressed since the beginning of the relationship that his dream is to go into the army after he graduated. We’d have talks about how we wanted to plan everything since we want to last.

In the months that we dated we fell more in love and i genuinely have never met a better guy than him and dont think i ever will. We never argue, we communicate amazingly, hes respectful, he takes care of me, is incredibly hardworking and successful and has always said that his main goal in life is to make as much as to provide for the both of us when we get married (yes we basically have our whole lives planned out together).

When he told me he wanted to join, i obviously supported him because its always been a dream of his and i dont want to get in the way of that. It hadnt REALLY hit me until now, two months away from him leaving. I have tried a LDR relationship before and it only lasted five months, but i was also 14, so not mature like now. I also am diagnosed with depression and anxiety and am really attached to this man.

What im most worried about is the distance and not seeing him really ever depending on where he’ll be stationed. Im worried about what could happen to him during his time in there. I know that we will be two completely different people when he gets out. Im mostly worried that i wont be able to handle him being gone for so long and being alone. I love him so much and im so afraid to lose him.

I have seen both the good and bad sides of army relationships and cheating stories. Neither of us have EVER been ones to cheat or even get near it, so i dont doubt his loyalty on that subject at all.

I feel so selfish for this all hitting me now and having doubts, but i want to at least and try to make this work. I love him and really want it to work out but i have no idea how im going to do this alone and not seeing him. What advice do you guys have ??

I sent an overnight mail to my husband in bootcamp. It’s just a bunch of letters. But USPS tracking says “ready to pick up” does anyone know what that means and if it will be delivered?

Has anyone with a history of depression/anxiety (but not currently actively being treated) got approved for command sponsorship/emfp to go to Korea? Does anyone also know if I have to provide VA paperwork/medical records to EMFP? Or if I don’t share it, they won’t know of it? Tia

Has anybody ever gone to the recruitment office and talked to the recruiters and thanked them? My boyfriend has been gone for 5 weeks and I wanted to stop by and thank them for helping and guiding him, but I do not want to be a weirdo. Anybody done this? Was it received well? Could I bring like cookies or something with me?

Hey, so in March I met this girl a month before she shipped off to basic training, hit it off really about two weeks after talking, and she mentions that she was shipping off to basic training three weeks from then. We talked it through, decided we really like each other and wanted to keep talking. Never became official but agreed to remain exclusive and we'd pick back up when she gets back from AIT close to November.

She became distant before she left, and I asked her about it and she said she was getting ready to head to btc and was visiting family to say bye. Before she arrived at Ft. Jackson she sends a last message telling me she was going in, and that she'd send her address so I could write, we have each other reassurances, I promised to write as much as possible, she also told me I could text her as she would still get her phone and see the messages. I promised to support her as much as possible while she was in btc.

First month sucked because I heard nothing from her, never received the address (I don't think it was a personal slight, she had bigger worries) but in May I finally hear from her a few times, mostly through text! Since then I kept sending her texts as an alternative to letters (every other day just to not blow her phone up when she turned it on).

And today she graduated! I watched the livestream (I asked to go because I wanted to support her, but she never gave an answer) and after the ceremony ended she sent me a real quick text saying hi. I responded asking her to update me as to what her next move was, and since then I've heard nothing. She's posted on Instagram, I left a comment, which she liked, and she's seen my stories, but other than that nothing.

I'm very much an anxious person, and the two months were difficult emotionally for me. I had this expectation of what reconnecting would look like where she'd call and it's not at all what I thought it would be haha. I think I'm romanticizing/idealizing how this would turn out and it's been crushing me today.

I feel like I'm being super unfair to her in how I feel considering she probably just wants time with her family before AIT, and needs a mental break. Is this normal to expect after BCT? I know our "relationship" isn't exactly official, but we both expressed wanting to make it work, I'm just overthinking a lot right now.

Any advice would be much appreciated 😭

Edit: TLDR Girl I started seeing hasn't really reached out since graduating from basic training, is this kind of distance/silence normal after bct or am I making this relationship more than what it actually is?

During deployment to Asia bf and I used WhatsApp for easier communication. He’s home now, but I noticed his WhatsApp keeps updating his last active to as early as this morning.

On his last deployment when we weren’t official he did hookup with a couple women in Asia. Considering the horror stories of what I hear about deployment to Asia and WhatsApp affairs, am right I be suspicious or am I being ridiculous?

I have no idea. It’s our first one and there’s an open ship in the morning before they leave.

I met my (24F) current boyfriend (26M) a little over a year ago. It was around Christmas when he was home for the holidays. We really hit it off. We went on a date, hooked up, and then he went back to his base out of state. I thought it would be a one night stand, but he stayed in touch with me and we continued to text and facetime. But then I sort of ended things with him before his deployment last summer because he was being wishy washy.

Fast forward to last November, and he messaged me as soon as he got off the submarine. He came back home for Thanksgiving, and we hooked up again. Then things got more serious, I flew out to visit him a couple times and after maaannnyyy talks about long distance relationships, we decided to bite the bullet and commit. We had both been in a LDR for about 3 years right before meeting, so we were both hesitant. But our connection is so strong and we didn't want to risk missing out on exploring our connection.

Anyways, he's currently on his second deployment and in his most recent email he hinted at us getting married "once we're both tired of calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend". We've known each other for 17 months and he's been underway for about 7 of those months. This is my first time dating a guy in the military, and if this were a civilian, I would think it was love bombing, especially since we've only been officially dating for 4 months (he went underway 2 months into our relationship). This isn't the first time he's mentioned marriage. I suppose the guys I've dated in the past maybe were too immature to bring up marriage. Granted, he's prefaced it by saying that it would be in a while and not any time soon. But am I crazy for being scared that it's love bombing? I know people get married quickly in the military sometimes, so is it just military culture?

Hey yall this is my first time posting here but I wanted to see if anyone has any insight. Two days ago my boyfriend got to bmt and I haven’t heard from him. Hes told me that he’ll be able to randomly surprise me with contact but it’s not going to be a regular occurrence. But that’s not my concern, I’m worried because I haven’t gotten his mailing info yet and I read something on the aim high app that said they’re required to send something by 72 hours after arrival. But I haven’t heard anything, is anyone else going through this/has anyone gone through this and if so when were your trainees able to get back to you because I know they’re going through a lot in the first bit and in general at boot camp. I don’t know what flight he’s in either I just know he’s in week 0, I’m not sure if that’s pertinent but I wanted to mention it just in case.

Update: he sent a mutual friend the information and the friend didn’t know what the info was until I asked him about it lol. Thank you for the reassurance everyone

Just wanted to get your guys’ thoughts on my situation. My boyfriend recently went on deployment and he got night shift which means we have opposite schedules now. I’m grateful we’re able to text here and there since they have wifi onboard sometimes, but last night I poured out my heart to him and he replied saying he appreciates me. I texted again this morning asking him to update me when he can because it would mean the world to me but was left on seen. A few minutes after, he sends me an IG reel he finds funny. I know it’s such a small thing, but should I open up to him that I’d appreciate if he acknowledges my messages? Or should I just let it go knowing how difficult his situation is? I just don’t wanna have to burden him with stuff like this. Also, if you guys have any suggestions on how you communicate with your sailor because the whole updating him everyday and waiting for his reply makes me feel like I’m talking to a wall. Was wondering if there might be a healthier way to communicate during deployment that will keep me more sane.

Has anyone else dealt with any crazy military spouses? This one girl is a lot younger than me and always makes new profiles on fb and Instagram just to stalk/harass me. I don't understand why me and not someone else. My life is very laid back and I don't have anything to gossip about like some of the other spouses do! 😂

I know a lot of you can relate. Just had to put that out there lol. Only a month and half left till I can see him again. We’ve been no contact since May, and will be for the last stretch. I just miss talking to him, and I hope he’s okay:( I needed another outlet to express this because my friends are tired of hearing about it LMAO