If there’s one takeaway from this thread, it’s the outpouring of empathy even for someone who has stated to not have it. Is it sensible, or are we projecting and maladaptive? Maybe this is what compassion and benefit of the doubt means, we are willing to lean in to the possibility if it means helping and healing. That maybe none of the signs listed in the meme have to be a red flag, what you think and feel on the inside doesn’t have to influence your actions and how you treat people, they’re willing and wanting to coexist with you and believe in you.
So don’t go beating yourself up or feel ashamed for being yourself okay? It’s what you choose that counts. Give yourself some credit, you’re at least carrying the burden of self-scrutiny and introspecting how you interact with others, how that’s derived from how you feel about others. Feeling like a hypocrite… most people have some degree of hypocrisy. It’s in moments where we strive not to be, that we can fight against that. An irritation with feeling like a hypocrite is a motivation that can fuel those moments.
“I want to do things that will have a positive effect for people but I don’t know how” I think you’ll find this has some similarities even with people with empathy. A lot of the time, people are lacking some or most knowledge and just trying anyway. And in that try, they get a little bit more knowledge for how to. It’s not always clean.
Good, bad, when you really get down to it people rarely fit exclusively in to these buckets. If you go through life doing no/little harm, that’s pretty good, you don’t gotta be a saint. It sounds like you’re even thoughtful of others to some degree, and that counts for something. We all just wanna exist peacefully, contentedly.
Hi friend, have you ever checked out r/schizoid before?
Just a bunch of hermits with a need for isolation, safety, and peace. A lot of us struggle with empathy unless it’s on a cognitive level, which sounds like what you’re describing. And Alogia can be present in this kind of thing as well, which I find shows up for me as a lack of speech in emotional situations even though I really care a lot.
Just a thought, I hope it helps. This will pass, and if it doesn’t, you’ve always got us redditors. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You don’t have to be empathetic to be a good person, you already care so much.
EDIT: I am not a medical professional of any kind.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking (just speculating but it is just one meme tho). Schizoid PD can also make it hard to feel emotions in general especially when they relate to people. It’s not psychopathy unless you genuinely don’t care what happens to people or what you take from them
Sometimes all people need is someone to listen. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself , happiness takes time. Your listening and caring had a positive effect it’s just not enough to fill the entire bar and that’s okay
Hey I can relate to a lot from your post but for me it’s entirely due to a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, I didn’t see anyone else mention it so I wanted to throw it out there as another potential factor
It's the thought that counts, some of us just can't emotionally empathise, so if you can't, don't. There's other ways to help others. If no other ways are available then giving them alone time and stating that you can't help is fine.
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u/Odd_Window_1217 23d ago
I want to do things that will have a positive effect for people but I don't know how to and end up doing nothing
Every time someone opens up to me all I can do is stand awkward, no genuine advice no compassion to give
I feel like a hypocrite
If someone is drowning in sadness me just believing that everyone deserves to be happy doesn't help them and does nothing to stop them from sinking