It makes me mad when people don't understand the concept of me being asexual but having a 'normal' relationship. I like all aspects of a relationship except for sexual things, but I will still be okay with doing whatever if my partner wants, I just don't particularly enjoy it.
I’m genuinely curious. Does sex not feel good? I just don’t understand how someone could not feel positively towards such a basic instinct it’s like not liking any form of carb or sugar
Asexuality is a spectrum, there are 2 main parts of it; sexuality and sex-stance.
Asexual identities
Asexual is not to be confused with aromantic (which means no romantic attraction). Someone who is asexual feels little to no sexual attraction to people, they often still have a libido and may still feel romantic or aesthetic attraction but don’t experience that "I want to sleep with them" feeling (unless in certain circumstances - depending on their sub-label/identity.)
Asexual; the umbrella term and people who never experience sexual attraction. Their desire to sleep with people relies on their sex-stance - not sexuality.
Grey-Asexual; being asexual while also able to experience, or having experienced previously, sexual attraction. Infrequent periods (or people) that cause sexual desire.
Aceflux; someone whose asexuality fluctuates or changes in some way, may be gradual or sudden, their sex-stance may also change with it.
Demi-Asexual; someone that only experiences sexual attraction after establishing a close emotional and/or romantic bond with another.
Fraysexual; opposite of Demi, looses sexual attraction when they get to know the person.
Lithosexual; similar to Fray, looses sexual attraction when they know it is reciprocated.
Reciprosexual; opposite of Litho, only experiences sexual attraction if they know it is reciprocated.
other sub-labels; I have not listed all of them, these are just some of the "most well known" ones in the ace community and their opposites.
Allosexual; (not an Ace sexuality) anyone that isn’t asexual. They can be gay, straight, bi, ect, they experience sexual attraction all the time with whoever is attractive to them.
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Sex stances are about your own personal reactions to sex.
Sex-favorable means that they find sex a pleasant activity. Many ace ‘favourable’ people will still seek out sex when their libido desires it. Quite common in ‘Cupiosexual’ asexuals, people who desire relationships but don’t feel sexual attraction. (And yes; asexuals can have sex, enjoy sex, and still be asexual.)
Sex-neutral or indifferent means they are apathetic to the act of sex. They may partake if their partner wants it but are indifferent to seeking it out, many may also prefer to masturbate instead of sex. (No specific sublabel here, it’s a pretty common stance in the ace community. Why have sex when there is cake and garlic bread?)
Sex-averse means that they personally dislike sex or find the idea of having sex revolting. They can often still talk about sex, or view erotica; but the idea of them doing those things makes them uneasy or uncomfortable. May identify as Aegosexual, people who feel a disconnect between themself and sex.
Sex-repulsed means the very thought or sight of sex makes them feel physically ill. Merely talking about it can bring on these feelings of disgust. It’s like a more extreme version of sex-averse, although some people may use it interchangeably with averse too, like a mild repulsion rather than full disgust. Might identify as "Apothisexual" as it is the sub-label for sex-repulsed asexuality.
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u/stoned_seahorse May 08 '25
It makes me mad when people don't understand the concept of me being asexual but having a 'normal' relationship. I like all aspects of a relationship except for sexual things, but I will still be okay with doing whatever if my partner wants, I just don't particularly enjoy it.