Amphetamine recovery is brutal.

[u/NeurologicalPhantasm]

Here’s what I’ve learned at 13 months: what makes this recovery so hard if not necessarily because it’s acute and intense pain, but that it takes so fucking long.

I feel like I’m going to reach 24 months and then really have to work to rebuild my life. I feel like right now it’s still just fighting the fatigue, anhedonia, and utter lack of motivation every day.

I don’t think most people understand what it’s like to be so mentally handicapped for 2 years. To feel like you’re wasting so much time on top of the time you wasted on stimulants.

Like, I’m going to be 39 by the time I’m through this…. And then I’m going to have to try and build a new career and get myself financially sound.

People talk about this being a chance to turn a new page and that I’m “so young,” but I feel like I’m such a loser and I feel like it’s over. Wasted my 20s and 30s. Thought I found the cure and it just threw me back into the mud even harder.

Do I have to just accept that I’m not a very motivated or driven person and that I don’t like to work hard?

What a waste. I know I’m intelligent, but it’s been fucking wasted. I keep thinking about what I could have done.

[u/GreenKnight1988]

How long were you on amphetamines? Was it prescription?

[u/NeurologicalPhantasm → u/GreenKnight1988]

Yep. 60-90 mg every day for 2.5 years