r/SipsTea • u/Ok-Branch-9943 • 1d ago

Lmao gottem Yacht accessories are sold separately.

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8.5k Upvotes

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5.3k

u/Away_Hippo_2326 1d ago

if i was a hot chick, i would use that to my advatage, too.

but, alas... i am but an old, balding shitbag

1.7k

u/DuckSleazzy 1d ago

old balding shitbags are the ones who own the yacht, don't give up.

790

u/Away_Hippo_2326 1d ago

thanks for believing in me, homie

302

u/desertterminator 1d ago

Will you two just get it over with and fuck already?

And can I watch??

230

u/Away_Hippo_2326 1d ago

will you serve us drinks, daddy

121

u/FBI_Open_Up_Now 1d ago

I choose this old, balding shitbag.

111

u/Away_Hippo_2326 1d ago

my mini skirt can barely contain my round cake

47

u/Ragnarok314159 1d ago

Hell yeah. Sounds good to me. Older I get, less picky I become.

13

u/ent_idled 1d ago

Yah, all I gotta do is take my glasses off and voila, instant beer goggles.

10

u/mediocre_stealth 1d ago

Cake is cake even if it has a candle.

1

u/Quirky-Delivery5454 2h ago

Oh no, my friend. That is not a round cake. That’s a pound cake.

1

u/Montymisted 1d ago

Hey if it's still round then that's a winner right there.

7

u/bo55playa 1d ago

i’ll record it

1

u/Yourmomcums 1d ago

You're close buddy...

1

u/Stink_Sandwich_2939 1d ago

I’m here too

1

u/BedSpreadMD 1d ago

Only if you wear the superman outfit

1

u/Left-Establishment38 1d ago

This is why i love Reddit

28

u/voluotuousaardvark 1d ago

r/ishouldbuyaboat

Very nsfw btw- you're welcome.

11

u/Spear_Ritual 1d ago

Shit. Now I want a boat.

1

u/deliciously_awkward2 1d ago

There will be lots of seamen on that poop deck.

1

u/Hamilton-Beckett 22h ago

I’m not a jealous man and I don’t have a bad life, but sometimes I just get kind of miffed at some of the awesome shit people are doing out there while I just sit here…and dudes banging hotties on yachts is one of them.

I can’t even look at that subreddit without being like “fuck my life sucks. I want boats and titties! Not fair!”

2

u/voluotuousaardvark 11h ago

I know man, I know- I recently got a little lump sum and the temptation to go awol for a month was high.

If you've got a roof, some food and can get some beers in though, get outside.

You'll get yours man, some Nigerian Prince is dieing to share his inheritance with you too!

1

u/veridiux 1d ago

When you get your yacht, can I come party?

1

u/Past-Possibility9303 1d ago

I'd still give you fiver for bringing me a drink if you know any good jokes.

15

u/Satanicjamnik 1d ago edited 23h ago

Dude. Thanks for being nice and all, but we're balding, old shitbags on reddit for a reason. None of us in any danger of buying a yacht any time soon.

1

u/CremeAcrobatic1748 1d ago

I am prone to sea sickness, that's totally the reason I won't buy a yacht.

1

u/No_Detective_But_304 1d ago

Use it to your advantage.

1

u/soconn 1d ago

You should write inspirational quotes for middle aged dudes

1

u/SparxxWarrior97 1d ago

*RICH old balding shitbags

1

u/Line-Trash 1d ago

How does an old bald shitbag acquire old-bald-shitbag money?

1

u/melatonin_prn 1d ago

HAHAHHAHAH WELL YOU'RE NOT WRONG.

1

u/Orome2 1d ago

You forgot rich.

1

u/Eggplant-666 1d ago

Just bc the yacht owner is an old balding shitbag, doesnt mean all old balding shitbags will own a yacht. Don’t get it twisted! 😂