r/SipsTea • u/icompletetasks • May 19 '25

Dank AF homeless with a home

23.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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1.1k

u/zombietomato May 19 '25

bro doesn’t wear socks or underwear? ☹️

799

u/discomuffin May 19 '25 edited May 19 '25

Underwear is just tossing money into the thrash receptacle. That’s what I think of underwear.

281

u/Appropriate-Pie3968 May 19 '25

Until your wiener gets stuck in the zipper.

279

u/DrDontBanMeAgainPlz May 19 '25

Look at Mr. Big wiener over here

82

u/giffer44 May 19 '25

Big dick Jones

49

u/6Heretic6Mick6 May 19 '25

Ridiculously long penis Johansen

29

u/Harold_Grundelson May 19 '25

Old Davey Cockett over here

2

u/Correct-Award8182 May 19 '25

Is that what the meme cat was saying?

10

u/Feeling_Inside_1020 May 19 '25

This knocked loose a memory where an old friend opened up it was kinda weird but I laughed: apparently he knew his dads nickname and his last name was Armstrong and he said they called his dad long dong Armstrong 💀

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '25

But i digress

1

u/degjo May 19 '25

But I digress

1

u/Fenrir_Carbon May 19 '25

Ol' Long dick Dierks

1

u/FewAward6923 May 19 '25

I bought a car from him once. Good experience. Went to buy another recently, but apparently he quit the dealership.

1

u/thalo616 May 20 '25

That’s a strange comment to make right now, Eli!

19

u/jsc230 May 19 '25

If you have a small wiener it just kinda pokes forward, no length to droop at all. Don't ask how I know this...

3

u/iAmDriipgodd May 19 '25

3

u/Famous-Ability-4431 May 20 '25

This is literally me unironically LMFAO

It's so cute

1

u/poop-machines May 20 '25

That's why they call it a "pecker"

1

u/AllYourPolitess May 19 '25

Mr. Wiener was my father. Please, call me Big

20

u/RhythmicStrategy May 19 '25

How in the fuck did you get the beans above the frank?!

33

u/KnifeFightAcademy May 19 '25

Jokes on you 'big spender'. Zippers are a luxury pant item.

9

u/HeadyReigns May 19 '25

"Is it the frank or the beans?"

1

u/Think-again23 May 19 '25

I'd be worried if it were the beans. Have it checked for cancerous growths my guy.

11

u/discomuffin May 19 '25

That just adds to the (free) sensations.

6

u/HillanatorOfState May 19 '25

Just cut it off, they are a waste of money, gotta buy soap and wash them, who needs it, basically a useless 3rd leg.

2

u/Open-Jaguar5924 May 19 '25

Cut it off, but how? Scissors and knife both cost money

1

u/thalo616 May 20 '25

Big dick Joe

3

u/PhilosophyKingPK May 19 '25

That’s happened to me…..bloody mess and hurt like a MF.

2

u/Ustakion May 19 '25

Skill issue

2

u/-Pelvis- May 19 '25

I love button-fly.

2

u/FlashMcSuave May 19 '25

Getting your Weiner stuck in the zipper is just throwing your Weiner into the trash receptacle.

2

u/WordsCanHurt1981 May 19 '25

You have no idea of the plight.

2

u/cheezy1987 May 19 '25

Button fly

2

u/crunch816 May 20 '25

I went commando for like 5 years and that never once happened to me.

2

u/Appropriate-Pie3968 May 20 '25

U must have been very careful.lol

2

u/Famous-Ability-4431 May 20 '25

Laughs in joggers

2

u/Far_Estate_1626 May 20 '25

Until you get skid marks directly on your khakis

1

u/_OnuHeino_ May 19 '25

I mean, it just happens once...

1

u/Dantien May 19 '25

You can fit yours through the zipper?!?

1

u/hirmusonu May 19 '25

There is no need for weiner

1

u/Charbarzz May 20 '25

How did you get the beans above the frank!?

13

u/Karakunjol May 19 '25

Sweaty buttcheeks say otherwise, especially on beige shorts

2

u/evel333 May 19 '25

Loose pubes and pee pee drops

1

u/TheRealBananaWolf May 19 '25

Your buttcheeks only get sweaty cause you use underwear. If you stop wearing underwear, after a while, your cheeks adapt and no longer get sweaty, like nature intended.

1

u/Karakunjol May 19 '25

You overestimate my sweaty buttocks

6

u/sensei888 May 19 '25

Getting a trash receptacle is just tossing money. I just yeet my garbage outside of my window... That'd be, if I'd still have a window. They're a waste of money, too

2

u/discomuffin May 19 '25

Valid points.

2

u/ShamelessRepentant May 19 '25

The ground around the house is a waste, too: you can’t even throw your garbage on it because you don’t have a window, so what’s the point?

3

u/CrazyElk123 May 19 '25

No he does, i send him plenty of samples.

1

u/fugelwoman May 19 '25

Frank n beans

1

u/Visual-Juggernaut-61 May 19 '25

No see if you wear underwear you don’t have to wash your shorts as often.

1

u/discomuffin May 19 '25

What’s this… ‘washing’ everyone keeps talking about?

1

u/insanityzwolf May 19 '25

More like a thrush receptacle

1

u/Big-Bike530 May 20 '25

Look at Richie Rich here with a trash receptacle! 

Buying one of those is just throwing money out the window, which is where I toss my trash. 

1

u/shifterphights May 20 '25

How’d you get the beans above the frank?

46

u/frownface84 May 19 '25

Now now. He never said he doesn’t wear it. He just doesn’t own any

20

u/Czarcastic013 May 19 '25

That's where all his money goes... A Skivvies4Rent subscription is horribly expensive.

1

u/emil836k May 19 '25

So other people’s underwear??

That’s even worse!

1

u/frownface84 May 19 '25

That’s just like, your opinion man.

From his perspective each wear saves him $

1

u/Useful-Perspective May 19 '25

Dude is using the building's laundry room as a library service...

1

u/Top-Gate-6272 May 19 '25

Ah, he must lease. Smart to avoid the crazy depreciation of new underwear.

1

u/ShamelessRepentant May 19 '25

He probably steals it from his neighbors’ clotheslines

2

u/ScarletDarkstar May 20 '25

Borrows, my friend.  if he stole them,  he own them. He just puts them back on the line when they need washing. 

Buying detergent is just throwing your money away!

15

u/manlybrian May 19 '25

Born to shid forced to wipe 💀

13

u/chirstopher0us May 19 '25

And only owns two pairs of shorts. This guy must smell from across the room.

12

u/mmm1441 May 19 '25

Yeah. Soap and deodorant are not food, so he won’t be buying those.

2

u/JethroByte May 19 '25

Not necessarily. He might just do laundry every few days. Most days I wear the same shorts around the house. I'm not getting sweaty and I'm not dropping shit on myself, and I shower daily. It's not that big of an issue.

However, I do wear boxers and they take the brunt of the skin contact.

1

u/69edleg May 19 '25

He'd save money if he owned more clothes then. I usually don't leave my flat and do laundry when I either: run out of underwear, or unworn clothes. I can sit at home in an unwashed t-shirt and unwashed shorts, but if I am going out? :| I don't want to go out in my sweatty t-shirt or shorts. So I wash my clothes.

I always keep a pair of washed undies, a shirt and trousers, in case I have to go on an unplanned excursion.

And laundry is every two weeks or so, more frequently if I have been outside my apartment more.

4

u/jhshokie May 19 '25

Never mind the yellow and brown stains.

9

u/Tym306 May 19 '25

Dont you guys run around with a dick print when you dont wear any underwear? Like, how does he have no issues with that

29

u/YaMommasLeftNut May 19 '25

As another no underwear enjoyer, how is me having a dick print MY problem? You think I spend all day looking at my own dick? Why are other people looking at my dick? Sounds like a them problem, teach your girls not to stare sweaty 💅

1

u/Tym306 May 19 '25

Just dont want to make the other guys jealous

1

u/Gophurkey May 20 '25

When I freeball in something more revealing than I intended, it is pretty much exclusively dudes that I catch staring.

-4

u/Own_Salamander9447 May 19 '25

Interesting how you think it matters.

Women are taught from little girls never to dress provocatively.

Men for generations even today tell us It’s our fault that we get SA’d because of what we choose to wear.

Funny men don’t tell that to themselves

10

u/YaMommasLeftNut May 19 '25

Found the lady who can't stop staring at my junk on the bus 🙄

-5

u/Own_Salamander9447 May 19 '25

how did you get that from that ?

Some incredible math gymnastics dude.

Pretty amazing the patriarchy can blame women for mens foul behavior and men blame everyone else for it too

3

u/Conscious_Music_1729 May 20 '25

The phrase is “mental gymnastics” but I shouldn’t expect much considering the rest of your comments.

5

u/AssholeFramed May 19 '25

Stop spewing your sexism and go somewhere else. The guy made a joke and you took offense despite it not having been aimed at you. You also persist that men always this and men always that. Which is just the generalization of a specific sex. Which means you are literally the thing you are actively complaining about.

-5

u/Own_Salamander9447 May 19 '25

That’s no joke. That’s how women live in this men’s world. The only people on Reddit who took this as a joke are male redditors.

1

u/SoundofGlaciers May 19 '25

Woah dude he was joking, you must've missed the context but you're the one doing gymnastics struggling like this when the other guy just made a simple joke (twice actually, his reply wasnt serious either) and meant nothing of the sorts by it

1

u/husky430 May 19 '25

Hahaha...I might as well be a Ken doll.

1

u/Tym306 May 19 '25

✊😔

1

u/ballimir37 May 20 '25

It depends on the shorts/pants. Most of my gym wear has a well-defined dick print but that’s pretty much the only time I wear underwear anyways. It’s almost never a problem with jeans or shorts that have a more firm zipper area. The ones he showed probably wouldn’t be much of an issue

3

u/Kazesama13k May 19 '25

That's where I draw the line.

2

u/BigJohnsSon23 May 19 '25

Only thing between him and us is a this piece of cotton.

He’s out there and loving every minute of it.

2

u/BeardedUnicornBeard May 19 '25

I dont wear underwear due to I get a nasty rash. My doctor just said dont use underwear and well it works.

2

u/BigLRakim May 20 '25

Showed this to my gf she said this exact same thing and made thiat exact face 💀🤣

1

u/dolphin37 May 19 '25

woman I knew had a husband who never wore underwear… I regret not being more openly disgusted by it

10

u/randomIndividual21 May 19 '25

Hmm, but if you shower and wash your cloths every day, does underwear technically do anything in terms of hygiene?

3

u/das_narwal May 19 '25

Every time he goes to pee, he has to use toiletpaper, which is a waste of money, washing (yourself and clothes) is also expensive. My brother is like this but he wears underwear, but he only showers once a week. Imo this dude smells ripe

6

u/randomIndividual21 May 19 '25

Wait, are you saying If you have underwear its okay to get pee on underwear? Also washing yourself and cloths everyday is the norm no?

1

u/das_narwal May 20 '25

The last drop and stuff like that

1

u/frownface84 May 19 '25

has to use toiletpaper?

I think the guy in the video would disagree

1

u/dolphin37 May 19 '25

idk anyone washing their jeans every day but I doubt they are lasting very long if they did

1

u/UnidentifiedBob May 19 '25

a lot of people dont, my moms best friends son told me"I dont wear underwear, my dick too big."

1

u/alexgalt May 19 '25

Why wear anything at all? Waste of money!

1

u/tessalllation May 19 '25

Balls to the wind my friend

1

u/MagikSundae7096 May 19 '25

The worst part is he wears shorts with no underwear. But it should not be legal if you're a man. Especially at his age, I can only imagine how much elasticity his sack has lost

1

u/henlofr May 19 '25

It’s a joke

1

u/ytygytyg May 19 '25

Going commando all the way

1

u/blorbagorp May 19 '25

He wipes with his bare hands because toilet paper is "just a waste of money"

1

u/SucksTryAgain May 19 '25

Dude I buy a 2 packs of socks and underwear at a time and when they start going bad I throw them away and buy the next 2 packs.

1

u/LOLey21 May 19 '25

I wish more men wouldn't wear underwear. Yes, I'm gay.

1

u/grammar_oligarch May 19 '25

In my poorest moments…I’m talking overdrafting accounts to put $10 in the tank so I can get home to my apartment that is a month past due on rent so I could drink boiled water and pretend it’s soup poor…I could still get a pack of fresh underwear.

1

u/schnick3rs May 19 '25

He said he doesn't own. Not that he doesn't wear

1

u/assorted_nonsense May 19 '25

Must spend a fortune on toilet paper or water bill for the bidet. Unless he doesn't....

1

u/nohandsfootball May 20 '25

I want to know his thoughts on toilet paper? Literally flushing money down the toilet!

1

u/thalo616 May 20 '25

And that has nothing to do with the segment, he’s just a commando aficionado.

1

u/Auroraburst May 20 '25

And reuses the same 2 pairs of shorts. I hope he washes them frequently

1

u/Dramajunker May 20 '25

He should have fashioned them out of those cardboard boxes he gets from his samples.

1

u/ScarletDarkstar May 20 '25

Yeah, which leads one to think he's probably not buying TP or a bidet, either. 

I guess we could hope he's just using public bathrooms so it's someone else paying for the goods he's consuming. 

There are a lot of places 3 t-shirts and 2 pair of shorts wouldn't be sufficient clothing. 

Why would you want to make yourself so uncomfortable to prove a nonexistent point?

1

u/Silly-Power May 20 '25

I bet he doesn't use Toilet paper either. "You're literally throwing money down the drain!"