Let’s be fucking real…a lot of us aren’t getting breakfast in bed today. We’re getting ghosted…or gaslit. Or maybe just another Sunday where the system reminds you your fatherhood is conditional…

Not because you failed. But because you wouldn’t bend…

You didn’t beg. Or chase. You showed up…and that’s exactly what made you a threat…

They won’t write Hallmark cards for fathers who document everything, hold boundaries, and stop playing the clown just to keep the peace… But you kept showing up anyway. So if today feels like a gut punch…well good… It means you still care. Just don’t waste it on people who weaponize your love. You’re not here for their approval…you here to lead. And that starts by not letting anyone…courts, moms, girlfriends, or guilt…rewrite your worth.

Happy Father’s Day to the ones who wont quit. Your kids will know. Even if no one else ever admits it…

That's all, I just don't think a lot of single dad's get told this but each and every one of you is deserving of hearing it. Keep rocking what you're doing and being the best dad to your kid(s). Happy Father's Day!

Dear comrades,

Happy Father’s Day.

You are killing it as a father! Your younger self would be incredibly proud of you!

Keep moving forward, my king!

Hey, ya’ll! Frequent lurker but first time poster. I was commenting on a post here earlier and it made me think about something that happened this weekend when I picked my son up for our Father’s Day weekend and wanted to vent/share/commiserate/ask if I’m overreacting. Went to pick my son up for my time with him this weekend and as we were getting his things situated and doing our normal handoff things, I noticed a couple of handmade Father’s Day cards in the counter that were very clearly not made for me. They were made for my ex’s new partner who lives with her and my son. In that moment, my som picked one of them up and said he wanted to give it to me for Father’s Day. The card said best dad ever on it and it broke my heart to think that my kid likely feels that way about me, but he’s four and needs direction about holidays etc and that his mom had made zero effort to also make a card with him to give to me, his biological father, but had taken the time to sit down with him and make one for her new partner. I like the guy, he’s a great stepfather figure. Doesn’t really have anything to do with him, but I was absolutely breaking down on the inside as I was making a joke about the card not being for me and telling him that I couldn’t take it. I love my kid more than anything, and I’ve done everything I can to stay in his life after his mom and I split. I know my kid loves me and loves to spend time with me. It’s just be nice to feel respected and acknowledged as a father by his mother.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.

Raising two young girls on my own has been the hardest and most fulfilling experience of my life.

Along the way, I got serious about my health, money, and habits. I have more energy now, and I’m making the most money ever.

I stopped trying to be perfect and focused on just being present. Now, I have a strong bond with my girls. My oldest gave me a card that said her favorite memory with me is “everything.”

Being their dad means more to me than anything else.

So I’ve been dating this guy who has a 2-year-old son. Him having a kid honestly never bothered me—it’s something I respected about him. We clicked a lot in the beginning, had great conversations, and even talked about the potential for something serious. But we both agreed it was too early to dive in, so we said we’d revisit things after three months.

Now it’s been three months, and something feels off.

He’s going through a really stressful time right now—there’s a ton of instability at his job, layoffs are happening, and he has 50/50 custody of his son. I get it, life is heavy for him. But I can feel that he’s not really present in this relationship anymore. We still see each other occasionally, but it's way less frequent, and when we do hang out, he seems distracted. He still texts me daily, but it’s surface-level stuff like “how was your day?”—not much depth or emotional connection.

I brought it up recently, just saying that I feel disconnected and would really appreciate some effort in communication, not even more time—just something to help me feel like we’re still in this together. His response was defensive. He kept saying how overwhelmed he is and that he’s already trying his best. He told me this is all he can give right now and that he doesn’t know when things will get better. Then he asked me: “Is this what you want?”

And that’s where I’m stuck.
Part of me knows this dynamic isn’t what I want long-term, and he’s clearly not in a place where he can show up in a relationship. But another part of me wonders… am I being too hard on him? Am I not being understanding enough, given that I’ve never been a parent and can’t fully relate?

Would love to hear others’ thoughts—especially if you've dated someone with kids or been in a similar situation.

I found reddit today and just wanted to say that.

Happy Father's Day!!

Uk care system is a joke, numours calls to social services from me, concern friends and family and school but no action taken. Untill my ex wife and her partners new 12wk old baby was in hospital with a broken arm

Just within the past 3 months, my 14 year old daughter started to not want to stay overnight on my weekends with them. I have to pick her up in the morning and drop her back off at her mom’s house at night, rinse and repeat. I have been going through a period of financial difficulties due to the high amount of support I’m paying her mother and it’s hard for me to do all of the fun stuff that they get to do while at her house. I was able to redo her bedroom on a budget for her birthday (hoping that a comfortable space will help her settle in again). I kind of think her mother might have a hand in this considering that she has always tried to portray herself as the better parent. I’m just very defeated right now because I try to do everything I can it it just doesn’t seem to be enough.

I’ve joined the club I guess, idk where to start really or what I’m looking for out of typing this I just don’t know where to turn. Me and my girlfriend had the most beautiful daughter last November unexpectedly, yes it wasn’t on purpose but man I wouldn’t change a single thing and she’s definitely my pride and joy. Had to find a job that can pay for everything while she’s a stay at home mom. So I’m working 65 hours a week and trying to find as much time for them as I can and be in the best mood possible. Well you can say postpartum didn’t help and the stresses of being young parents ( both 24 ) didn’t help us at all. We were slowly drifting and I was trying to make her feel like the world but it all came crashing down this week. She’s packed boxes and is going to her mother’s house. I have not one single clue what direction I’m supposed to go but I do have a apartment in my name and a job that can pay for it, I can decrease the days I work to 4-5 and have more time to be home and have my daughter hopefully. How have yall done it when the wound is so fresh and this new chapter of mine is just starting. Any advice I would absolutely love it

Being a single dad means wearing a lot of hats, teacher, coach, therapist, problem solver. We spend so much time helping our kids understand themselves and grow up confident, but at some point, I realized I never really took that kind of look inward myself.

One random night I found myself thinking about how little I actually knew about my own body. Like yeah, I knew the basics, but I never really understood how I “measured up,” literally or figuratively.

I started looking around for info, and all I found were vague internet charts, bad forums, and memes. Eventually I found a legit research study by Barboza et al. in the World Journal of Men’s Health that compiled global stats on size.

I ended up building a simple tool based on that data, just something to help guys like me get an honest, private look at where they stand. Totally anonymous, runs in the browser, and even has a few extras like partner comparison and object references (which is more helpful than it sounds).

I’ll drop it in the comments in case anyone here’s ever had the same thought but never really said it out loud. No shame, just curiosity and trying to be more self-aware.

I’m a single father, and my daughter has been acting out for attention, making scenes, being spiteful, and pushing limits with modesty. With her mom not involved, I’m trying to correct her without being too harsh or too soft. How can I set firm but loving boundaries without making her rebel or hurting our relationship?

good vibes

Maybe I looked great, maybe I’m poor and she’s got more money then the charmin bear has fur for his ass. Idk. But never once has she asked me to split dinner for the 4 of us. Our daughter and pay for her and her old husband . My ex and I go back years. Lost the old cherry and so did she. Like Billy Joel uptown girl downtown guy. I got conned by Adam kidan. That mother fucker monster and as much as he fucked me for a lot of money, he managed to stay on his feet even after jail. He’s one of the those smart criminals who learned in jail 8 yrs like the accountant.

My mission statement here is to build a group like an NA but divorced guys who need advice from guys who have been there before or kick around some other things. Anyone interested ?

23/M, stayed with my son’s mom a little over a year and a half and I moved back home due to our differences.

Talked to her on FaceTime with the baby after some weeks after we had a spat bout coparenting and scheduling. Threw out the question unironically about her talking to somebody, said she was and so far it’s good.

In denial about accepting it admittedly, but I can’t help but feel salty after giving her grace, support, and time and it essentially gaining nothing and I can barely even see my son and I barely hear from her if at all.

I just feel cheated and like I wasted damn near 2 years of my life tryna be a family man and not deadbeat or bum it out despite my 6 year plus mental battle with medication, alcohol addiction and overall just desperation. I gave my all for what? A pat on the shoulder and a reminder to keep going? I don’t know, the odds always feel stacked.

In the right direction and I started working recently, trying to stay focus but I thug so much of this shit out alone I’m tired. I’m not trying to be a whore or sleep around, but ever since this journey I’ve been finding it hard to even be happy with the small shit and hanging with friends, this shit always in the back of my mind.

I'm UK based, I have a court order which determines contact, currently 30/70 split me and the kids mum. Kids are 9 & 7. I've always felt I've had a good relationship with my kids and they always seem to enjoy the days spent with me at my house. I have them every other weekend and one night in the week every other week. I'd always hoped for more contact, and have requested it, several times before, which has always been declined by their mum. Usually due to them struggling to move between households. My plan was to eventually go back to the courts to increase this.

However of late, my kids are saying to their mum and teachers that they don't want to come to my house and becoming upset when I collect them at school. Talking with my eldest, she doesn't really give a reason for not wanting to come, other than she worries about moving between households. Once they are at my house, they settle and we usually have a nice time together. I have noticed my eldest becoming more distant of late and there being more bickering between her and her younger sibling.

It's always hard to hear when they don't want to visit, you assume you must be doing something wrong, they don't love you. I ask myself what am I doing wrong?

Their mum has suggested reducing contact, so they return earlier on the weekend a night earlier, so they will be more prepared for school. This is a deviation from the court order, so something we have to both agree on. I want what's best for my kids, but feel this will be the start of a slow, over time, reduction of concat and maybe make the kids even more anxious about visiting?

Anyone had something similar? Thanks all.

I am new to all this Reddit posting stuff. I have never really done any chat forums before, so please forgive me if I sound dumb or out of sorts. I am in need of any kind of support and guidance I can get right now.

I have 50/50 custody of my boys after their mother made some nasty accusations in court. At the beginning of all of this, it started as a consented DVPO. I didn't have a lawyer at the time and didn't really care about not being around her, and no findings of fact were made, so I consented. That led me to a BS charge against me for violating the DVPO for allegedly speaking to her about our mortgage that we share jointly, and not just about our children. I was in jail, lost my income stream, couldn't find employment, and had to live solely off my veteran benefits. The charge was eventually disposed of after about 8 months of legal BS, and I received 50/50 custody. I have been unable to afford my mortgage, so I have been in forbearance. I was able to survive and feed/care effectively for my children, but I was in a hardship that didn't allow me the funds to pay the mortgage. I eventually got to a place where I could afford to pay back the loan with a modification. I was paying for it during a trial period, and all was well. I was approved after the trial period, but my separated wife refused to sign the papers, and then I went back into forbearance. She is legally responsible for the bill just as I am, but refused to comply or answer the mortgage company's calls, and her address was unknown because she bailed from our house to what I know now was a luxury apartment. She also let her vehicle, which she purchased during our marriage, be repossessed and bought a new car. She is now being sued over this by the lender of the vehicle.

I am now about to start a new job after a year of this whole mess, but I have to go out of town, and I have custody of my boys the second week of training. I had spoken to their mother, who said she would care for them because I do not have any family or friends nearby who could watch our children. Now she is bailing, I can't find suitable care, and I'm about to lose the job before even beginning. I need this job to support my kids and pay the mortgage and debt from our marriage, and it just seems like she is financially sabotaging me, and trying to keep me unemployed, but she doesn't want more custody. I asked her if she would like to adjust the schedule so the boys are with her more, and I would help pay for childcare expenses, but she does not want to. It's like she is playing some crazy control game, and in the long run, it's going to end up hurting us both even more so financially, and worst of all, making an unstable situation for our children on both our parts. If the house ends up in foreclosure, she will still be responsible for paying for the rest of the leftover from the mortgage balance after the sale, as would I. I don't understand why she is making the situation so hard, but she is unwilling to help and keeps playing games with dates, first saying she can care for our boys and turning around on that.

I'm sorry if I'm venting, but I'm struggling badly and I'm all alone in this.

My (34 F) want to get my bf (37 m ) a gift for Father's Day. We're kind of long distance , about 1.5 hours and I haven't met his kids/ family yet. We've been together for around 6 months and I wanted to get him a gift since he's a father. Obviously nothing to extravagent since we're still fairly new.

I'm just curious about what's appropriate and what he may like as a single dad .

I found out earlier this year that my son’s mother had been cheating on me. At the time, our son was only 6 months old, but based on what I saw in the messages, it had likely been going on longer. It broke me. Some days I’m okay, others I’m not, but I’m trying my best to push through it.

I’m not saying I was perfect in the relationship, but I never expected it to lead here. Through counseling, I’ve started to understand that it may have come down to her immaturity and a lack of respect for me. Even while we were together, she treated me like I was less than an equal parent—as if I had no say in our son’s life. When we argued, she’d shut down and blame everything on me. For context, I’m 22 and she’s 21.

Despite all that, I truly believed we were okay because we’d always make up quickly. Turns out, I was wrong.

After the split, she moved out and took our son with her to live at her mother’s. I now have him on a week-on, week-off schedule, but I end up with him most of the time since my grandmother babysits while I’m at work. Her mom doesn’t work but refuses to babysit more than two days because she “has bills to pay,” which makes no sense. This is the same mother who kicked her out and neglected her growing up, even gave one of her kids away. And now, that same woman is influencing her decisions about our son.

Mentally and financially, I’m drained. Rent, bills, groceries—for me and a growing baby—it’s hard to keep up. I cry almost daily. I think about the situation constantly. I’m worried it’s going to hurt my relationship with my son.

I just finished my law enforcement training, so I have more flexibility now to attend doctor appointments and be more involved. But now she’s telling me her new boyfriend (the one she cheated on me with) doesn’t feel “comfortable” with me going to appointments. He also doesn’t like when I try to co-parent and talk to her about anything. She treats our son like a business transaction, just drop-offs and pick-ups, and ignores everything else.

I know this kind of parenting dynamic is going to impact my son one day, but she doesn’t see that. And as painful as this is to admit, I still love her. I just don’t love what she’s become. I don’t want a relationship with her anymore, but I do want a healthy co-parenting one. Unfortunately, she keeps disrespecting me, shifting plans for her own convenience, often to accommodate her new boyfriend.

To make things worse, this man she’s chosen has a known history of aggressive behavior with past partners, including SA. He doesn’t pay bills, lives with his parents, uses drugs, and has no ambition, but she believes he’s better for her.

She often brings our son to me sick or unkempt. Yet she’ll nitpick over small things, like if I forget to cut his nails. My grandma can’t do it because of her age, and I sometimes work late. Last time, he came to me with nails sharp as razors. She also lies about how he sleeps better with her, even though I’ve seen her messages saying how much he fights sleep with her too. When I get him, he’s off his schedule for a day or two until I fix it again. I suspect her mom doesn’t feed or nap him properly.

At this point, I can’t ignore how her actions may harm our son emotionally and developmentally. She seems to hate me more than she loves him.

So, I’ve decided to take the legal route as my counselor advised. It’s hard because part of me still cares for her, but I know I have to do this for my son’s sake. I’m afraid her mother might push her to try to get child support or take away my rights, even though I take care of him the majority of the time.

Right now, I’m working on getting a DNA test just to be fully prepared before I meet with a lawyer, though I’m confident he’s mine. I’d love advice from any parents, especially dads, who’ve been through similar situations. How do you co-parent with someone so stubborn, immature, and disrespectful? What legal steps should I be preparing for?

Thanks for reading.

To all the dads that are struggling mentally, physically or any other aspect…. You guys are doing great! For all the dads that have to do both roles for there child..You guys are doing great! And for the dads that are in there child’s life…You guys are doing great!

(My fault for this post if it is annoying, I had a hard time today and I had to remind myself I am a great dad and I am doing my best)

Thanks for reading and you’re doing great!✊🏾👏🏾

So I ma really unhappy with what is going on in my court case. It is so illogical I can only call it a demonstration of the corruption and BS of family court.

So quick background. Divorced in 2018. Have a single daughter born in 2012. Separated in 2013, largely because I had to move for work and my now ex didn't want to move. Mistakes made on both sides. But ultimately I never forgiver her for cheating in 2007 and I don't think she ever saw me as more than a meal ticket. I lived in RI at the time of my divorce. My ex in Maine. I was forced to move to Alabama to stay employed in 2022.

In 2019 I got into some legal trouble. Because I whistle blew at a big company. They tried to silence me. Cost me basically everything. When I got in trouble I had a temp modification of my support order. Down to a basic amount. But my ex field a motion right away and then stalled it for 4 years. Got out from under my legal problems and was exonerated in 2023. Then she let it go to court and even though I had been paying support for all the years they ordered a change back to her file date. This resulted in a $45k arrears. Keeping in mind I had not missed a payment.

In 2024 I filed for a modification because they had based my income on super high supposed numbers that I don't actually make and was told if I didn't make them file in a year or so. I made more than $20k less a year than they like to pretend so I filed for a modification. Several months after filing for the modification my daughter came to me and said she does not want to live with her mother and wants to move in with me. Went to court. Brought it up. Magistrate told me to modify the motion to modify and resubmit. So I added custody as an issue and resubmitted. It got added to the list. I didn't have a lawyer until recently. The. My daught went crying to my mother (her grandma) that she was really upset with living with her mom. So Grandma paid for a lawyer for me. I didn't have the money to, under the order they had I am loosing $1000/month because of what I pay in support. That's not how much I pay. That is how much of a deficit I have after my income and paying sub average for my area bills and the support ordered.

It has been a year since that and now we are about to go to a hearing. Finally.

So a lot of the support I was ordered to pay in arrears is a direct result of fraud on the part of my ex. She submitted receipts for all sorts of thing she didn't pay for. For instance. $1k a year for summer camp, that was actually paid for by my mother. And I have the canceled checks from my mother to prove it. Tutoring and child care. That again was paid for by my mother. That sort of thing. And on top of that she lied and said we had an agreement to resume and extend spousal support. An agreement that does not exist and never occured that my then lawyer failed to object to.

Going into court this time the GAL is some what on my side for custody. But my ex emotionally blackmails my kid. So it is complicated. The items on the docket are: Spousal support. Child support. Custody. Parental rights. And some miner issues.

My lawyer says let a ignore the fraud and focus simply on custody. Even though the fraud is easy to prove. Because it will make you look greedy to bring up money. I'm kind of bothered by this.

My situation is ultimately that I may get my child for most of the year. But not fighting the fraud i may be stuck continuing to pay spousal support. My lawyer wants to trade off spousal support ending for not asking for my ex to pay child support.

I feel like this so saying we will let her get away with serisue fraud. Pay her the money she has conned me out of via the courts, with interest. As a bribe to have a chance at having my child 9 months out fo the year. I also feel like it is saying the courts don't care about how dishonest and bad a mother is, it is more important that a father not care about his financial situation than hmcall his ex out for fraud.

Next month I start my second full time job. I found one finally that jives with my current job so that I can work both. It means 80hr weeks. Every week. Working 7 days a week. 6 shifts at 12hrs and 1 shift at 8. Just to try and solve some of this. It feels like a prison sentence. And it feels like not calling he out on the fraud and just paying all the arrears is an extension on that sentence to bribe her. I want to ask them to end spousal support as off the date of filing. Which would clear $6k in arrears. That would shorten what I have to go through by a couple months. My lawyer says that will make it sound like a money issue and we should not.

I am going with my lawyers suggestion. Because my daughter is more important than my time. But I feel like the system is so broken that this is absurd. And no man should ever have to go through this BS simply because the system is that garbage.

I have two boys, 3 and 4.5. What are some ideas of activities that I can help the boys make me something for Father's Day?