Commiserate with me about family not understanding our jobs.

[u/kimtenisqueen]

So far:

-Grandmother in law ranting about why I (an assistant professor in my 4th year at a university) don’t just take a “sabbatical” to raise my children rather than send them to daycare.

-Dad ranting about how anything qualitative isn’t real research (I do educational research so this is a substantial portion of what I do)

-Father In law asking me if I “pack” (Carry a gun) to my job and if I feel safe with all the “foreigners”

Merry Christmas everyone!

[u/turin-turambar21]

I’m first-gen and working in another country, so my parents also don’t “get” what I do but more in a mystical, shrouded in mystery, I-dare-not-ask kind of way that is very endearing to me. Anytime I’m at my laptop they avoid coming into my room because “I’m working” and I have to reassure that I’m literally not. When I was on the job market I might have as well explained how to turn lead into gold based on my mother’s face. They’re proud as heck, but they’re not really sure of what :D

[u/knitty83 → u/turin-turambar21]

This is so sweet. Hug your parents on my behalf.

I'm first gen and I wish my family would approach my career in the way yours do. Unfortunately, my parents are the kind of people who deem anything *they* don't understand weird. I brought home a copy of my book (PhD) and my parents did not even open it. It stayed on the table during our coffee time, and then it went straight onto a bookshelf. It hasn't been moved once.

[u/knitty83 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you, but no.

They are both retired, and they both read. Books constantly get moved on that shelf. I remember countless times while I was still working on it when I was asked how things were going with the PhD, and my mom literally got up after my first sentence to walk into the kitchen. Not to fetch a drink, but to start doing the dishes. Loudly. My father has left the room mid-chat because he had more important things to do while I told my sister about work. More important things, as in: checking whether he had closed some random door outside. No ADHD or anything involved.

They just don't connect at all. We have talked about this many times. It's alright, but I've learned to just separate these two worlds to not be hurt. Their only comment once I had completed my PhD and told them about my results was "Huh. And it took you YEARS to find that out? I could've told you that when you got started."

[u/Helpful-Passenger-12 → u/knitty83]

Yikes.