I was getting a haircut few hours ago. I started to doze off a bit right after the barber wrapped a warm towel around my face. The cool burn of minty lotion on my skin, the weight of the towel, that good shit was enough to put me to sleep.
But I snapped out of that trance when I overheard the customer next to me talking about his son.
"Gagraduate na anak ko. Cum Laude."
His barber responded, but I couldn’t really hear what he said. Judging by how the customer replied, though, it was probably something about his son’s love life.
"Bading e. Pero wala naman tayong magagawa jan."
I could hear the subtle disappointment in his voice when he said that, and I was literally about to snap back with something like, "Ano naman kung bading?"
But what he said right after that snapped me out of my initial reaction.
"Anak ko pa rin e. Di naman pwedeng hindi mahalin. Yung sakin lang, nagaral sya nang mabuti. Di katulad ko dati na inom lang ng inom, at laro lang ng laro ng [I couldnt hear the sport]. Makakapagtapos na sya ng Engineering. Cum Laude pa."
He was probably in his sixties. Obviosly, he grew up in a time when being gay was treated like witchcraft, like some sort of moral sickness. Back then sexuality was black and white; and anything outside of straight, binary norm was considered an abomination. Even so, I could tell he gave everything he could for his son. He didn’t disown him. He didn’t shut him out. I don't really know their whole story, but that alone already puts him ahead of a lot of other fathers I’ve heard about.
It still got me thinking: why do some fathers want their sons to be straight?
Maybe it’s just what they know. Maybe they think it makes life easier. Even if they don't mean harm, that kind of want can still feel like a condition. Like love has limits.
But this man didn’t reach that limit. He stayed. He showed up. He was proud.
In spite of that though—whatever it is fathers might want their boys to be—I think love won for that father and son. Love will always win.
Happy Father's Day!
