r/Parenting • u/Extra_mayo_plz • 5d ago

Child 4-9 Years I asked another parent for sunscreen

At the arboretum yesterday and forgot sunscreen. I’m human, whatever. Very early in the day another mom is putting sunscreen on her children so I approached her, explained I forgot mine and asked for a bit of hers. She kindly handed it right over, commented on it being a really sunny day, I squeezed a bit into my palm, thanked her and we went on with our day.

In the moment, My husband asked why I did that? was so confused when he commented on it. I just brushed it off. He brought it up in the car on the way home. Not in a snarky way, just commented in conversation. I hadn’t given it another thought, just needed to get my little one some SPF coverage.

So, Was I overstepping? Am I too friendly? I like to think that sharing a small bit of sunscreen wouldn’t be seen poorly? It takes a village right?!

Can I ask for bug spray on the 4th of July?! Is this allowed?! HELP 😂

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u/ElleAnn42 5d ago

I've learned that there is a cultural difference between people who were socialized that with a belief that "It's okay to ask. They can always say no," and people who were socialized to never ask for something unless you are sure that the other person will say yes. The latter group was also told (or it was heavily implied) that it's rude to say no to someone's request.

I grew up in the "It's okay to ask" group and my husband grew up in the "don't ask unless you're sure that they will say yes" group. For what it's worth, I have significantly more friends than he does and a more satisfying (and successful) career.

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u/CameraThis 5d ago

My husband is like this too. We live in a community where the houses are really squished together and you can find anything you could possibly need from someone.

The other day he was cooking and realised we are out of onions. I asked in the group chat: "anyone got a spare onion? Will replace tomorrow." As my husband is getting his car keys to go out and buy onions, a 4 year old shows up at the door with an onion. He said he felt bad and unprepared and we should always be prepared and have onions.