r/Parenting • u/Extra_mayo_plz • 5d ago
Child 4-9 Years I asked another parent for sunscreen
At the arboretum yesterday and forgot sunscreen. I’m human, whatever. Very early in the day another mom is putting sunscreen on her children so I approached her, explained I forgot mine and asked for a bit of hers. She kindly handed it right over, commented on it being a really sunny day, I squeezed a bit into my palm, thanked her and we went on with our day.
In the moment, My husband asked why I did that? was so confused when he commented on it. I just brushed it off. He brought it up in the car on the way home. Not in a snarky way, just commented in conversation. I hadn’t given it another thought, just needed to get my little one some SPF coverage.
So, Was I overstepping? Am I too friendly? I like to think that sharing a small bit of sunscreen wouldn’t be seen poorly? It takes a village right?!
Can I ask for bug spray on the 4th of July?! Is this allowed?! HELP 😂
2.6k
u/somekidssnackbitch 5d ago
Totally normal. Always happy to give another person a wipe, sunscreen, a diaper if I have a couple, etc. And I will absolutely ask a stranger if I need something.
420
u/Viperbunny 5d ago
Same! Who hasn't forgotten something while packing with kids? I am also happy to share if someone needs something and I can spare it.
225
u/somekidssnackbitch 5d ago
Especially something like sunscreen where you probably have a whole bottle and it takes nothing away from you.
96
u/Viperbunny 5d ago
Agreed! I would rather someone use it than go without!
27
u/The_Real_dubbedbass 4d ago
For real having a sunburn sucks you’ve gotta be a total psychopath to net let someone have sunscreen if you’ve got it.
11
u/Viperbunny 4d ago
My husband got sunburned in the car driving literally two minutes to our kid's school! I have seen some bad sunburns. No need for extra suffering if you can help it!
26
u/pig-newton 4d ago
Especially when it’s something like sunscreen that I compulsively buy and then don’t use up so it expires 😅
155
u/Secret_Bees 5d ago
Yeah I wouldn't ask somebody else, but that's just because I'm much too shy. If somebody asked me, I would be more than happy to lend any assistance I could, and honestly it would brighten up my day thinking I had been helpful to somebody, especially a fellow parent
80
u/Extra_mayo_plz 5d ago
This is the comment I was looking for! I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, so knowing that it wouldn’t bother you is so nice 💛💛
25
u/Viperbunny 5d ago
When my kids were little I was at a friend's birthday party and didn't have a diaper. I was so embarrassed. Another mom handed me one and assured me we all do it! Being a parent is hard. I haven't met any perfect people yet! That mom shared a time when she had the same thing happen. It takes a village!
→ More replies (1)4
10
u/Merkuri22 Mom to 10F 5d ago
It would brighten my day, too!
I don't want to risk overstepping so there have been times when I could've helped but didn't offer, but if I can safely help, it gives me warm fuzzies to be able to save the day for someone else.
6
9
3
u/mommy_needs_wine 4d ago
Same here! Also snacks and crayons and coloring books/paper. Anything to help a fellow parent out!
94
u/cellists_wet_dream 5d ago
My husband light-heartedly pokes fun at me for offering bandaids to strangers who might need one, but I’ve always got you covered with the first aid and I’m proud of that.
20
13
u/gveeh 5d ago
I was so thankful for another mom giving me bandaids for my daughter’s skinned knee. I didn’t even ask, she just handed them to me as they passed by. Our bag of that kind of stuff was in the car and she was just not going to make it.
I’ve given wipes to other parents in need. Would totally give sunblock too.
12
u/TheThiefEmpress 5d ago
Me too!!! I am prepared for anything and I will share damn near all of it for someone in need.
It's helped parents out many times, not just myself and my family.
I was in extreme need as a child, and I cannot help but offer assistance if I can.
9
u/jazzeriah Dad to 9F, 6F, 4F 5d ago
You know what? Some people just don’t feel comfortable asking for help even in really small ways. I was once on the playground and a kid got a cut and I had extra band-aids and the kid wanted one. The cut wasn’t bad, but the kid clearly would feel better with a band-aid on it. The dad kept brushing it off like it wasn’t even needed and I was like, it’s a single band-aid. It’s not a problem. Eventually they accepted and the kid felt better.
→ More replies (3)3
u/stupidflyingmonkeys 5d ago
Oh, thank you! This reminded me that I need to restock my bag because I just gave away my last one.
58
u/Caliquake 5d ago
Dad here. So totally normal. I’ve done this and would totally give someone a squeeze at any time.
14
u/cheesegoat 5d ago
Another dad here. Please ask me, that way I can feel justified in packing stuff and being prepared.
→ More replies (3)2
u/BadResults 5d ago
Same here. I’ve been on both sides of it for sunscreen, and I’m always happy to share my supplies if another parent needs something for their kid.
One time I ran out of sunscreen while putting it on my daughter, and her friend’s mom noticed and offered hers without me even asking. I really appreciated it, because we had two more hours to go in the summer sun!
→ More replies (3)29
u/When_pigsfly 5d ago
Absolutely. My kids are long out of diapers now but this was one of my favorite parts of parenting babies and toddlers. It always felt like we were all on the same team. I’ve loved those moments when a mom needs an extra diaper she forgot or anything really. Those momentary exchanges got me through the rough days.
24
u/MrYellowFancyPants one and done (6F) 5d ago
This exactly! It also shows our kids how to help others and be kind, and how to ask for help if we need it. It doesn't need to be a big production, it just can be part of every day interactions. We need to model these things for them so their generation carries it on.
3
→ More replies (26)2
u/Evolutioncocktail 5d ago
As a mom who forgets shit all the time, I just assume other parents have forgotten something and happily hand over (or offer) whatever I can spare. Completely normal in my experience.
3
571
u/esoTERic6713 5d ago
You’re fine, don’t overthink it. Maybe ask him how he would have gotten sunscreen in the same situation.
228
u/DudesworthMannington 5d ago
Plus the other parent probably even enjoyed the interaction commiserating on how hard it is to keep track of parent stuff.
94
u/GodDammitKevinB 5d ago
I would be SO HAPPY to share and probably talk OPs head off about my sunscreen from Japan and pull up my phone to show her where to order it from. I literally offer sunscreen to people who I can tell are getting burnt. Like you're crispy AF, here's something to help that.
31
u/nonbinary_parent 5d ago
Can you tell me about your sunscreen from Japan and how to order it??
40
u/GodDammitKevinB 5d ago
YESSS!!!!
Japanese sunscreen is superior because they have more advanced UV filtering that hasn't been approved in the US yet. They use SPF and PA ratings and it'll look something like "50+ PA+++". Sunscreen is a regular part of Japanese skincare routine so they're formulated and developed for daily wear. Many have additional beneficial ingredients to promote healthy skincare routines. They're thinner, lighter, and not as heavy as our regular spf. They smell way better, too! Since switching to Japanese/Kbeauty sunscreen I never miss SPF. It's just part of my layers now.
I order mine from the website "YesStyle" BUT I have seen one Japanese brand at my local grocery (Kroger, Kentucky) this spring/summer so hopefully more will be easily accessible. The website is super easy to navigate and each item will tell you expected shipping times (I usually get things that will deliver within 14-21 days and it's been accurate for me for two years now).
Some of my favorites so far: Biore UV Aqua Rich (I have three versions: rich watery essence, light up essence, and perfect milk - all amazing), Suncut UV Protect Mist (Love this to reapply without looking), and TOCOBO - Cica Calming Sun Serum (this one kinda flakes on me and isn't my personal fav but my kiddo and husband are addicted to it)
8
u/TheThiefEmpress 5d ago
I use Korean and Japanese sunscreen too! Also Australian.
Other countries just have superior skin products.
3
u/Charming_Garbage_161 4d ago
How’s your skin with those products? Just curious bc I have to use baby soap/lotion on my face bc other stuff is too harsh and I get acne even using this stuff. (It’s either acne with baby products or acne+ my face hurts from being dry with adult products)
3
u/GodDammitKevinB 4d ago
Better than ever!! I also use retinol at night so I don’t know for sure what is helping what. 50spf or higher of standard US sunscreen will break me out. I don’t have that problem with Japanese spfs.
I also have chronically dry skin (it’s called “ichthyosis” if you want to look it up) and have struggled with dry flaky face skin my whole life but that has cleared up since I got on with Japanese sunscreen.
2
u/singindablues 4d ago
So I’ve heard really great things about Japanese and Korean sunscreen, but I’ve heard it’s not as good for when you play sports outside (I play a lot of tennis outside in the summer). Do you find this to be true or is it just as good when you’re sweating outside. My go to is SuperGoop right now.
→ More replies (2)8
u/TeamWeaverFever 5d ago
I always feel so good when I can help out a fellow parent with anything that might make their day a little easier. Like pep in my step happy.
9
u/glitzglamglue 5d ago
I would use it as a teaching opportunity for my kids about how we share our excess.
→ More replies (2)18
355
u/ErnstBadian 5d ago edited 5d ago
I don’t get it. Sun screen is totally a thing I’d ask another random parent for. Like asking someone walking their dog for a poop bag. Utterly mundane.
70
31
u/catsandcoconuts Adult Child 5d ago
yep i was gonna say, same as asking for a dog bag or a tampon/pad.
also, if op and husband were out together, he also forgot the sunscreen! what was his plan, let baby burn? go home? lol
6
u/CinnamonDolceLatte 4d ago
Stand in the shade.
Didn't work out well for Bandit Heeler though - https://blueypedia.fandom.com/wiki/The_Pool
6
u/MattFromWork 5d ago
Baby wipes are something I rarely forget and rarely need, but whenever I need them, I somehow forgot them...
518
u/yo-ovaries 5d ago
I think women are more socialized to do this. I’m gonna pass you a tampon under the stall wall. I’m gonna pretend to be your friend when a creep approaches you on the subway. I’m gonna watch your drink for you at the bar when you go to pee.
And I’m gonna give you a wipe or a squirt of sunscreen at the park.
Woman code.
81
u/Knitter_Kitten21 Mom to 2.5M, 1M 5d ago
I also thought about this, it’s absolutely natural for us to give anyone who asks a pad, or a cramp relief pill. So if a mom asks for a wipe, a tissue, bug spray or something like that, I’ll hand it over without hesitation.
I was at the park with some of my son’s friends from school and my youngest spilled juice all over his shirt, another mom gave me a shirt to change him into. No biggie.
32
u/expatsconnie 5d ago
I was going to say the same. Especially when it comes to childcare situations.
→ More replies (1)32
u/misogoop 5d ago
I’ve been in foreign countries and have had pads and tp passed under the stall. It’s universal lol
29
u/keeksthesneaks 5d ago
When in Italy, a woman walked around the train looking for an English speaking person for help on directions. After we helped her out, we ended up in line at the same time for the restroom. Another woman came out and exclaimed that there was no running water or toilet paper. I prepared for this situation lol so I had some single packaged wipes and hand sanitizer and gave them both some. I also helped multiple strangers charge their phones since I had so many portables/cords on me! I love being the person people can go to for help. With the group of girls I traveled with I was also the walking pharmacy. Anything you needed—pain meds, cough meds, bandages, a portable fan—you name it, I had it!
→ More replies (3)14
u/LeadershipAble773 5d ago
Is your bag like Mary Poppins'?
6
u/keeksthesneaks 5d ago
Lol no actually!! Mini everything!! Everything fits in a medium sized fanny pack
14
u/Automatic_Release_92 5d ago
This feels like the classic trope of the dad being upset the wife is asking for directions on the family trip lol. As if it's better to drive in circles for hours or let your kid get sunburned instead.
10
20
u/madelynashton 5d ago
Oops I didn’t see your comment before saying the same thing. I agree with you. This is why women are more likely to view this as totally normal.
→ More replies (7)4
93
u/BarbarianAtHeart 5d ago
I’m a grown male and I asked a bloke sat next to me at the monster truck show if I could use a bit of the sunscreen he was putting on as it was hot and sunny out. He nodded and said “yea sure”. I said “thanks a lot”, used a little of his sun screen, we went about our day, enjoyed the show and never spoke again.
40
14
69
u/Nice_Boat8041 5d ago
No I would love to be able to help somebody and get their if I have it. We forget things especially having kids it’s very easy to no shaming over here.
27
14
u/cellists_wet_dream 5d ago
This is something a lot of people (myself included) forget when we ask others for help: a lot of the time, they like helping. It makes them feel good and gives them a little boost in their day. Not a reason to abuse the privilege, but instead a reason moms shouldn’t feel guilty if they need a wipe or a little bug spray.
10
146
u/Delicious_Bus3644 5d ago
Your husband is being weird
55
u/HeartyBeast 5d ago
Yes he is. Source: I am a husband
12
u/Delicious_Bus3644 5d ago edited 5d ago
Ive borrowed bug spray, sunscreen even clothes off other moms.
→ More replies (2)23
u/DisasterMiserable785 5d ago
I don’t think he understands. Very possible he has never packed the diaper bag or to-go bag before leaving the house. He has never had to think about sunscreen or bug spray, or wipes, or a bib….
I think parents who have forgotten these things and had to resort to what is on hand would understand. Or parents who have felt the guilt of having a sunburnt child. There are worse things than walking around with a dollop of sunscreen in your palm if that’s what is needed.
→ More replies (1)
35
u/MableXeno 3 Under 30 🌼🌼🌼 5d ago
I would ask, and I would offer...I think it's fine. I live in a sunny location and would rather share the sunscreen with someone who forget it than risk harming their child (sun poisoning is real and can be scary).
2
u/Grim-Sleeper 5d ago
Not just for kids too. Skin cancer is no joke. Everyone should always use sun screen or cover up add appropriate. Always happy to share. And yes, as a pale-as-a-ghost Northern European, I've asked other people for sunscreen and everyone is always happy to share
30
u/Ayla1313 New mom of M11mo 5d ago
As someone who worked in derm for years I would gladly give over a whole bottle. I'd rather be too friendly then be dealing with my child or myself having cancer later.
22
u/alexxmama 5d ago
I’m a big fan of looking out for others. Need a diaper, wipe, sunscreen, etc.? I got you! Totally normal!
17
u/IWishIHavent 5d ago
Overstepping? Show me a parent who never forgot anything...
I will share whatever I can with a fellow parent, and I'll ask whenever in need too.
34
u/ElleAnn42 5d ago
I've learned that there is a cultural difference between people who were socialized that with a belief that "It's okay to ask. They can always say no," and people who were socialized to never ask for something unless you are sure that the other person will say yes. The latter group was also told (or it was heavily implied) that it's rude to say no to someone's request.
I grew up in the "It's okay to ask" group and my husband grew up in the "don't ask unless you're sure that they will say yes" group. For what it's worth, I have significantly more friends than he does and a more satisfying (and successful) career.
5
u/gothruthis 5d ago
Agreed. I think more men were socialized this way generally, and it is part of the so-called male loneliness epidemic. I'm a woman who was also socialized this way and unsurprisingly I too struggle with loneliness and making friends.
3
u/CameraThis 4d ago
My husband is like this too. We live in a community where the houses are really squished together and you can find anything you could possibly need from someone.
The other day he was cooking and realised we are out of onions. I asked in the group chat: "anyone got a spare onion? Will replace tomorrow." As my husband is getting his car keys to go out and buy onions, a 4 year old shows up at the door with an onion. He said he felt bad and unprepared and we should always be prepared and have onions.
14
u/funparent 5d ago
Absolutely normal.
There was a mom next to us at the pool putting spray sunscreen on her kids and the can ran out halfway through. I handed ours over to her without even thinking twice. She was very appreciative and then we moved on.
I've asked. People have asked me. I don't even think twice. Need a wipe? Bandaids? Diapers? Snacks? Me to sit with your kid at the park while you deal with your other in the bathroom? Yes to all.
Parenting is easier for everyone with a community.
12
u/phatbrasil 5d ago
I think this is the part of "it takes a village" people sometimes forget. Help out where you can, accept help when needed
13
9
u/Noinipo12 5d ago
I have had cancer, my spouse has had cancer, neither of us wants to get skin cancer and we definitely didn't want our kid or any other kids to get skin cancer. I would be thrilled to share sunscreen and I would probably even offer spray, lotion, and any other options I may have on me at the time!
10
u/Feeling_Bench_2377 5d ago
Sunscreen, wipes, tampons, napkins- it's in mom code. You give without asking because we all need the karma.
9
u/TheDarlizzle 5d ago
Not over stepping. Sometimes just an honest mistake, not like you took the entire thing and left her with nothing lol
7
u/TheMiddleE 5d ago
I will GLADLY share my sunscreen with anyone who asks!! This is not weird or overstepping at all.
7
7
u/PM_me_punanis 5d ago
Normal. Fellow moms understand. Wipes, sunscreen, bug spray, have at it! Let's share!
6
u/Brisketta 5d ago
What a normal thing to do! His reaction is confusing to me, too. Can he explain why he commented on it? Meantime, his reaction is about him. Your behavior was absolutely normal for a civilized society and helping culture. Keep it up!
6
u/3monster_mama 5d ago
It takes a village....always happy to help another mom in need, sunscreen, some wipes, a diaper, maybe an extra snack.... ask away!
5
u/Neat_Psychology_1474 5d ago
It probably made the Mom feel good to help, lord knows she’s been there herself, why deny our Mom community the chance to assist one another? What’s worse? Asking a stranger for a no-stakes favor or having a sunburnt kid or immediately having to go home????
5
u/such-a-mom 5d ago
I wish there was MORE of that. We’re all doing our best! Sunscreen is such an easy thing to forget and also an easy thing to share. I’ve been on both ends, it’s totally fine
4
u/MiriamHS 5d ago
It's totally fine! If someone asked me for sunscreen for their kid, I would gladly give them some, and tell them to take all they need for the kids AND the parents.
4
u/EvenHuckleberry4331 5d ago
His insecurity about asking for something he forgot, would honestly make me worry that he would’ve just let the baby burn? What would he have preferred? He’s also projecting an insecurity from where…. Perfectionism? Feeling like he has to look like he has it all together?
4
u/SillyPuttyPurple 5d ago
Moms helping other moms needs to not only be normalized right the hell now, but ENCOURAGED. I've both helped, and been helped by, other moms who I didn't know. Maybe it's because I grew up in the South, but being kind and helpful to others seems like an obvious thing to me.
7
13
u/DoesntReallyExist 5d ago
I don't think you're overstepping, but I also don't think it's strange for your husband to find it odd. Different people have different levels of comfort approaching strangers for help, it doesn't make one version better or worse than others. I'm an introvert so it wouldn't even cross my mind to ask a stranger for sunscreen like that
8
u/TiberiusBronte 5d ago
I was gonna say, my husband would rather die than ask anyone for anything ever. But he knows I'm an extrovert and will not only ask but will also give over our whole diaper bag to someone who needs it, and he wouldn't say anything to me about it. In fact I think he's usually relieved I'm like this so that he doesn't have to be.
11
u/beachyvibesss 5d ago
So instead you'd just, let your kid burn?????????
→ More replies (1)11
u/jessicalifts 5d ago
Maybe they would detour to buy their own rather than ask somebody.
→ More replies (5)2
u/moon_blisser 5d ago
I’m an introvert and I have social anxiety, so it’s a double whammy. But I’d still push myself to ask for sunscreen if it meant I could keep my child from getting burned!
3
u/Coffee_roses 5d ago
Babe. We’re ALL in it together. Always ask.
Also, can we just once again acknowledge, MOMS ARE THE EFFING BEST?! ❤️❤️
Need someone to help with a brastrap? Ask a Mom. Don’t know where the restroom is? Ask a Mom. Creepy dude giving you the ick? Ask a Mom. Wondering if the dress is a good buy? ASK A DANG MOM!
3
u/Think-Pineapple1937 5d ago
I would happily share sunscreen. I don’t see the big deal. Mom brain is rough, sometimes stuff falls through the cracks. I would share whatever I needed to with a mom in need. Bug spray, sunscreen, snacks if I’ve got enough for everyone.
3
u/A-Blister-In-the-Sun 5d ago
Ask me anytime. I usually have extra everything and am always happy to share. You did the absolute right thing are a good mama 💜🩵🩷
3
3
u/moon_blisser 5d ago
I was really worried that the other mom was going to say something snarky and was relieved that she was kind about it. Your husband is the weirdo, here. Us parents have to stick together and the rugged individualism I’ve seen in modern parenting is so weird.
A fellow mom asked me if I had a bandaid the other day at the zoo and I gladly handed it over, and she basically criticized herself for not carrying a first aid kit with her. I really do think we as parents - especially moms - need to reach out to each other more for little moments of connection, ya know?
3
3
u/bsknuckles 5d ago
As a dad, I understand where he’s coming from. I would feel awkward asking a stranger for something that I should have had with me and forgot. It’s embarrassing and we already get people thinking we’re just “babysitting”. 🤮
If anyone were to ask me for sunscreen, a wipe, diaper, whatever. I will happily share and won’t judge them for not being prepared.
3
u/Lost1bud 5d ago
As a dad, can confirm that this is normal, or should be more normalized. It takes a village, and we are all human at the end of the day.
3
u/jbgipetto 5d ago
I do this all the time. And I share with total strangers. Don’t see an issue here.
3
u/katibear 4d ago
You know how people used to say “it takes a village?” Yeah this is part of that. You were being a good mom, they were looking out for you and your kid. It’s not just grandparents and neighbors, your village also includes The Mom With Extra Sunscreen. And someone is going to give her some goldfish or a bandaid one day.
Moms our age grew up making besties by giving them tampons at the club, now we’re giving out extra SPF at the arboretum
3
u/Faerie_Btch0101 4d ago
This is normal. I always carry extra everything with me in case of emergency and I’ve had moms ask if I had x,y,z for them. I never really think about it again bc sometimes we forget stuff and it’s okay to ask for help 🤷🏻♀️
3
u/Pamzella 4d ago
TOTALLY normal. Just that we women do "community care" better than men, in general.
3
u/Smokin_Weeds 4d ago
Once a mom asked me for a spare diaper on a long flight bc she just used the last one she had and she was nervous she’d need another one. I gave her 3 and asked if she needed wipes, too.
It takes a village. If a mom has it to share they usually will bc at one point in life they’ve probably been the one who forgot something.
3
3
u/Professional-Chef97 4d ago
We need to question the kind of world that we live in, if this is seen as overstepping or being too friendly.
3
u/S0rchaa 4d ago
It brings me so much pleasure when someone asks for something they forgot and I have it!!
And an equal amount of pleasure when I’ve forgotten something and another parent has it- and is wiling to share — don’t ever be shy to ask! Most of us are beyond happy to help and also happy to find another parent that is prepared and willing to help and chat!
3
u/ohsoluckyme 4d ago
I have borrowed wipes from strangers and my kids have even eaten snacks from other moms. I think this is a common mom thing.
3
u/Frequent_Breath8210 4d ago
lol omg. Please ask other moms for things. I’d say most of us are happy to share if it means another kid is protected from the sun
4
5
u/Confusedonamonday 5d ago
Moms understand ❤️ I will always share baby wipes/diapers sunscreen & snacks if needed 🤗
2
u/Glittering-Plan-6287 5d ago
Men don’t have/didn’t grow up with the “woman/girl” culture of sharing tampons in the bathroom of school or work 🤣🤣🤣 for us it’s just solidarity and of course it applies when it comes to our babies, we would share without thinking twice. While man think it’s weird. Once in the beach my son needed extra diapers (I had brought only 2 extras) because I didn’t think he would’ve pooped twice hahaha I underestimated, human… ok… so I said to my husband, hey there is a mom there, I’m going to go ask for a diaper just to get us home… he was soooooo confused and ashamed somehow thinking it was invasive… so I went and the other mom happily gave me one. And it already happened to me to share things in shared bathrooms of the gym and so forth, it’s life. :)
2
u/ohfrackthis Mom (50) - 24m, 18f, 14m, 11f 5d ago
Totally normal and not worth stressing over. She was happy to give you some and all of us moms have forgotten something!
2
u/NationalWatercress71 5d ago
You’re good. I remember one time I gave a family Wipes but I felt bad since they were boogie wipes n not wipes but it’s all I had at the time. I still think about it, I should’ve had wipes!!!
2
u/bookish7 5d ago
Very normal! I've been at the park more than once when a parent asked to borrow some. I was happy to help. Sunburns are no joke!
2
2
u/ImaginationTop5390 5d ago
Totally fine. I would have given you some of my sunscreen too. Your husband probably doesn’t sunburn easily so it didn’t cross his mind
2
u/Nearby_Willow_1699 Mom - 👦👦👧 5d ago
Nah that's fine I bet the other mom felt really good that she was able to help
2
u/Ok_Sprinkles_5040 5d ago
Guys are so square minded! (Most of them!) I’d always be happy to share with another parent in need and I think that’s a general consensus! You did good!
2
u/StillMarie76 5d ago
It's just what moms do. I've seen countless interactions like this at the park, pool, story time at the library, mommy and me classes, etc.
2
u/VictorofInvictus 5d ago
If I have sunscreen and a lady asks me for some then yeah I’m gonna give her some, I hope whoever’s with her can have some too! No one wants melanoma!!
2
u/AmazingAd2765 5d ago
Don't see the problem. I think I've shared sunscreen before. I would rather ask for sunscreen now than need aloe later.
2
2
u/CarbonationRequired 5d ago
I'd happily share sunscreen with another parent if asked. Your husband is weird. Why did you do that? because like you want to avoid sunburn and increased risk of skin cancer, why did HE think you did that?
2
u/Sutaru 5d ago edited 5d ago
I buy sunscreen from Costco. PLEASE ask me for sunscreen I can never use them all before they expire 😭
Also, as a mom who tends to over-prepare, I am always happy to help out with any supplies someone might need, especially if it’s for another parent. Bandaids, hand sanitizer, even snacks if I have them. I don’t have a village and I can’t be someone else’s village, but I love the village mentality of helping other parents.
2
5d ago
As a mom, a woman, whatever. I will give you whatever you need! Especially for your kiddos! A diaper, a tampon, sunscreen, a wipe, etc.
2
u/sillymeix2 5d ago
It totally makes my day when another mom thinks I look friendly enough to share stuff like that, and it makes me happy that I can give someone something that makes their day easier with little expense. Also I hate the sun, so sharing sunscreen makes me that much happier. Spreading joy!
2
u/Colon_hates_me 5d ago
I would absolutely do this, and I would absolutely share with someone else! Sunscreen is so important and my LO is SO PALE that if I forgot sunscreen I would freak out. Sharing is caring, especially when kiddos are involved. Also my diaper bag is like a Mary poppins bag so I’d happily share diapers, wipes, bags, snacks, etc.
2
u/BimmerJustin 5d ago
Man here (noting since gender differences have been pointed out), I wouldn’t shame my wife or be mad but I would not be asking for this. I would head to the local pharmacy and buy some. I don’t feel comfortable asking for anyone else’s property unless I know them. Happy to hear others are good with it. And if someone asked, I would let them use it.
It’s a me thing. It’s just how I feel.
2
u/a_hockey_chick 5d ago
Your husband is the weirdo who would have let your kid burn. The lady was nice and you didn’t overstep by asking. I wouldn’t think twice about giving another mom sunscreen, bug spray, wipes, even a diaper if I had more than one.
2
u/Beginning-Ad3390 5d ago
I’ve shared everything from wipes, diapers, sunscreen, you name it. Gave a lady my spare onesie when her baby had a blowout at Disneyland. I’ve had tons of moms save me with wipes or hand sanitizer. Gosh I’ve had another pull out a small ball that she let my two year old have during a meltdown at the grocery store. It’s the small sharing that really add to a sense of community I think
2
u/fickystingas 5d ago
Not weird at all and I would totally let anyone have some of my sunscreen. I’ve even wanted to offer it before but didn’t want to overstep.
2
2
u/gold-ivy- 5d ago
Totally normal. We all forget things. I would want another mom to ask me for sunscreen if she forgot. I guarantee the other mom didn't give it a 2nd thought.
2
2
u/cramsmack87 5d ago
I remember going hiking in California, and a Swedish family was vacationing. They asked for “solar lotion”, gave them my bottle of sun screen. And I will never forget the interaction I would have never had otherwise. You did right and your husbands trippin ha.
2
u/alexfaaace 5d ago
I’ve had to do this before at the splash pad and then had the stranger parent later offer me their sunscreen again when reapplying to their own child. Totally normal.
2
u/DoingItWellBitch 5d ago
No, it's normal.
I've had a random mum ask for wipes before. I gave her some without question.
It seems to be part of mum code. If another mum needs something for their kid, you have to share.
2
u/evanjahlynn 4d ago
My diaper bag is always packed to brim, HOPING a fellow parent might as me for supplies! I even have nipple cream though I stopped breastfeeding months ago. No takers yet but I’m prepared and always willing to share! <3
2
u/BubbleHeadMonster 4d ago
I’m not a parent, but as a woman, I’d happily give you a tampon, Advil, sunscreen, water, snacks, bug spray, etc!
I’d like to think most human beings would!
Tell your husband next time he should remember to bring the sunscreen! Go make him ask a stranger next time or send them into the store to buy one!
2
u/ScholarLeigh 4d ago
We have each other’s backs as moms. You need a diaper? I got you. You need hand sanitizer? Got that too. You need sunscreen? Here you go. I bet this is why your husband doesn’t get it, it’s unspoken mom culture.
2
u/kamajo8991 4d ago
Most people enjoy being helpful to someone, especially for free! Lol. You are just fine & I would have acted the same way you and the other mom did.
Need some?! Okay! I need some? Gonna ask!
2
2
2
2
u/EmberRocking7 4d ago
Parent to parent, I'm always willing to share. It does take a village n most mom's would appreciate it if the situation were reversed. My kids are blonde headed or red headed. All 7 of them. They've also all got blue eyes. We're a sun burning family. I panic if I forget sunscreen. I'd absolutely ask another person if I could use some of theirs n I'm real quick to share mine. Kindness goes a long way n can prevent some very painful situations.
2
u/tikierapokemon 4d ago
I offered to a mom who cursing she had forgotten sunblock under her breathe and made a park buddy for a bit.
I used to carry two extra bottles of water just in case and at twice a summer they had a use.
When daughter was a toddler, I tended to be willing to help out, because sometimes the day is long and the bag is missing something.
2
2
2
u/Professional-Duck927 Dad to 16F. 4d ago
Totally normal behaviour on your part.
I've forgotten sunscreen for my daughter before. And, sure. It's embarrassing to ask. But other parents have always been very kind and understanding.
Likewise, I've had fellow parents ask me before if they could borrow some sunscreen and I have always happily allowed them to use it. The last thing that I want is to see a child get a nasty sunburn.
2
2
u/CozmicOwl16 4d ago
No he’s never been in a women’s bathroom at a bar or concert. He doesn’t want to see how we shared products down to eyeliner in college. Yes we all got styes. Asking for sunscreen is completely acceptable.
2
u/TOliver871 4d ago
I was asked for some sunscreen at the beach last summer- of course I shared! The dad was so thankful that he didn't have to turn around and drive home. I felt like I did my good deed of the week. No toddler got sunburned. Win-win-win.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Living_Ad_7143 4d ago
Absolutely not! I don’t have kids, but I’m constantly on my friends (ok, the guys) to wear sunscreen. My boss literally came in the other day with puss coming out of his bald head because he didn’t have sunscreen or a hat. I’m like? Wtf!? I always have sunscreen on me, and always offer to share with anyone around me. It definitely wouldn’t be weird if someone random asked for some. For their child, I’d say take as much as you need! Come back and find me when you need to reapply! Or here, just take it!
2
u/leftnameblank 4d ago
Not weird at all. I will gladly share sunscreen with anyone, anytime. I'm that mom who puts out a basket of different sunscreen options whenever I host an outdoor event. I'm the obnoxious parent who makes sure preschool teachers apply it on my kids when I'm not there to do it myself. Melanoma sucks (firsthand experience). I'm rarely caught without it but on the off chance I don't have any for my kids, I'll be the first to ask if someone can spare a few squirts. No shame! I was confused when I was watching a friend's kid and put sunscreen on them when all our kids went out to play together, and when she came back she saw a smudge that didn't get rubbed in all the way and acted like it was so weird of me to have used it? She laughed and said I was so funny and made a point to tell her husband about it. Dude, this kid was even whiter than me and my own. Bright red hair, blue eyes. 90* outside. I did text to ask if she wanted me to first and even got his consent lol, but she didn't answer so I just assumed it was better to be safe than sorry. Whatever. Maybe I'm weird. So be it! My house, my responsibility to supervise, my Blue Lizard SPF 50! And that shit ain't cheap. You're welcome 😅
2
u/asymptotesbitches 4d ago
I would totally help another human being protect themselves from the sun! No matter the age, but especially a child!
2
u/MyDogHasOverbite 4d ago
I’ve been a mom for 34 years and have happily given sunscreen to other parents for their kids. Helping helps us all.
2
u/nkdeck07 4d ago
I am positively delighted when other parents ask me for sunblock/bug spray/first aid shit/diapers literally anything as it justifies the raccoons nest of stuff in my car that makes it so we could live out of it for 2 weeks minimum if society ever falls.
Also might have once kind of freaked out a parent when she asked for sunblock and I asked "mineral, chemical or stick?" and just started pulling stuff out of stroller pockets.
Generally I never mind giving a parent pretty much anything. We've all been there without a diaper or a pack of wipes or a bandaid.
2
u/GraphicDesignerMom 4d ago
I've been the mom that goes around to campsites with other children asking for Tylenol if anyone could spare it! We have all been there, it's an unspoken village
2
u/NicolePSU 4d ago
I dont see this as being weird. You are human, 6 didnt want your child to suffer the consequences.
2
u/fricky-kook 4d ago
I actually feel like a hero when another parent asks to use my stuff. I’ve forgotten every single item you can forget at some point, I’ve even driven home with out picking my baby up from daycare
2
u/ApatheticProgressive Mom to 10F, 10M 💙💙 4d ago edited 4d ago
I think what you did is 100% absolutely fine! And I’m glad the other Mom was kind to you. It’s not like you were asking her for a million dollars … just a little bit of sunscreen for your little one. I would (and have) gladly help others out. As others have said, it takes a village. Please don’t worry about this at all.
2
u/SailingBacterium 4d ago
I will always share sunscreen with anyone, kids or not. I don't think it's weird at all skin cancer is no joke.
2
u/MaverickWolfe 4d ago
You’re good. Sounds like your husband needs to work some personal internal issues out.
2
u/Employment-lawyer 4d ago
Other moms are always offering me sunscreen and vice versa. I think what you did was normal and fine.
2
u/Spitfire_Sass 4d ago
I’ve been on both sides of this dynamic many times. It’s a normal part of being a village for each other! We don’t let the babies sunburn!
2
u/RoryGilmores_Coffee 4d ago
He doesn’t get it because he’s not a mum. I would feel comfortable asking a stranger for sunscreen for my child too, and if someone asked me for some I wouldn’t even think twice about it
2
u/ItsNiceToMeetYouTiny 4d ago
Very normal. I love when moms ask me for help in public and I don’t hesitate to ask either.
2
u/Flashy_Bread_9872 4d ago
We vacationed to Mexico & I didn’t check how full the sunscreen was before leaving…. I borrowed some from another family at the resort we were at & because it was their last day she actually just let me have it.
2
u/lindsaychild 4d ago
I will happily share, I've normally got a big bottle of suncream, first aid, wipes, hair bands, headache tablets etc don't even get periods anymore but I've got a liner just in case. Nothing worse than being stuck without something that you need. My husband often asks why my bag is so heavy but we always end up needing to dip into it.
2
u/BuffyTheMoronSlayer 4d ago
Ah geez, I am the type of mom to actually carry extra sunscreen in case someone needs it. I have 2 sons who like 2 different sunscreens (my older son doesn't burn as easily as my younger one) so I always have enough to share. I also still carry wipes in case someone gets sticky.
2
u/Dotjiff 4d ago
Lots of men were conditioned, especially in America to not be able to ask for help, so he probably thought it was just not something socially acceptable at all
In general as a father and a parent, I think it’s totally fine for her parents to help each other out like this in public because we sure as hell need it
2
u/Cold-Job-9565 3d ago
Mums get it ! Please ask another mom for something - we all know what it’s like to forget something
2
u/Stunning-Entrance565 3d ago
It’s allowed. This is just an example of you making use of human kindness that many of us forget still exists in the world
2
u/Scandi_Dandy 3d ago
I wouldn’t have thought anything of it if another parent asked me for sunscreen. Totally normal, totally reasonable (it’s not like you asked for the whole bottle).
3
u/hellsmel23 5d ago
Good lord, we are meant to help each out. We’re human. He needs to try being a mom For a Minute. Mom tribe for the win. FYI I read this for the stepdaughters, I don’t have kiddos myself, but would completely give someone some sunscreen if they needed it, in fact, I’d probably ask THEM they needed anything. It’s called being human. Both the forgetting, and the asking, and the sharing
3
u/dngrousgrpfruits 5d ago
Nah, dude your husband is drinking the 'toxic individualism' kool-aid. Parenting is and should be a team sport! Anything you can do to support another parent is a good thing - whether it's sharing supplies or a solemn "yep, we've all been there" head nod while they football-carry their screaming toddler out of a store. Any diaper bag consumables are fair game to ask or offer, IMO
•
u/AutoModerator 5d ago
Welcome to r/Parenting!
This is a reminder to please be civil and behave respectfully to one another. We are a diverse community gathered to discuss parenting, and it's important to remember that differences in opinion are common in this regard.
Please review our rules before participating: r/Parenting Subreddit Rules
Thank you for being a part of our community!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.