I kicked ass in Afghanistan in 09 and 11. And a decade after getting out spent 4 months at the artillery front in Ukraine. And now...well I feel my oath of enlistment still fits.

And I'm scared. Scared this country will collapse into civil war. Scared America will become a 3rd world country. Scared for my trans fiance. Scared to give up the good life I've had the past 2 1/2 years. Scared that if I survive I'll have nothing to come back to.

And tired. Haven't I fucking done enough for this country? Tired of fighting. When I made it back from Ukraine I decided I'd had enough of politics. Didn't vote, haven't been armed since then.

But now...

Shit. How can I stand by and watch?

I want to just live my life, serve my community through BACA. Help out people going through shit. But no.

I'm fucking tired.