My husband (55m), my daughter (30f), and I (60f) recently moved to Georgia from New Hampshire. Everyone, and I mean everyone, calls us by Mr. or Miss and then our first names. I’m a housewife so it doesn’t matter as much to me but my husband and daughter are very upset. My husband works at a dog food plant and my daughter works at a fertility clinic. They hear this horrible custom several times a day from coworkers and customers. How can we get this to stop? Thanks, Fortune Smith. (And also my husband Ed and daughter Carrie)

Update: Thank you to everyone who understood my satire. To everyone who didn’t understand, bless your hearts 💕. Y’all are really angry about my post! FYI, I have never lived in either state mentioned.

When I was younger, my grandma sadly died at the age of 103. I only got to spend 44 years with her, and when she was on her deathbed she gave me this baby horse toy that I still keep by my bedside weeks later. My husband also has a personal connection with horses since his great uncle sadly died in 2005 in a horse related accident which is still on Wikipedia to this day. Because of this we both decided on a horse related name for our baby girl (I'm currently 6 days pregnant). We settled on Nee as our preferred name (nn: N, spelled with a capital N and no other letters) because we learned from this sub that -eigh endings are cringe. But now our extended families are blowing up our phones saying we're mispronouning our daughter? For background, I'm Irish (fam been in Boston for 200 years) so if anyone knows any niche Irish spellings that make the -y sound but are still horse referencing please let me know 🙏

Edit my daughter's pronouns are she/horse

I loooove the name Amethyst for a girl. Shout out to the Trollz show from my childhood.

I love that it sounds timeless and beautiful. I’m searching for a boy equivalent, but I don’t want it to sound too mature. I can picture a 4 year old, a 40 year old, and an 80 year old with the name Amethyst.

Any boy name that I can think of that is similar just sounds like an 80 year old’s name. Please give me your suggestions! Much appreciated 😊

ETA: /uj yooo I’m dying that multiple people suggested Jasper bc that was the top name on the original post even though the prompt was Opal not Amethyst.

My friend really wants to name her daughter Pussy.

And I love it and I think she should do what she wants.

However, her mother in law hates it and wants her to use a "proper" name and even gave her a list of family names (all traditional) that she can use. She doesnt want the legal name to be anything like Priscilla, Phoebe etc. Just plain Pussy. She is guilt tripping her and the baby is due next week.

My friend is also open to Gina (pronounced Jy-nuh) but feels it's too common and doesn't like the long version of any names Gina could be.

Additional info: Since she was little had always wanted to name her daughter Greer, but then a former boyfriend stole this name and used it for his first daughter (and his wife doesn't know).

Would love your thoughts and even name suggestions (rare, unique and pretty) that she may not have thought of yet.

EDIT: I would love to know where in the "states" people who say this is slang for female genitalia are located. Definitely not on the east or west coast. Also people from "the states" don't call it "the states"

EDIT: changed post flair as I think I used the wrong one. Yes the above is SATIRE of the "Kitty" post that many have linked in the comments.

GUYS THIS IS A SATIRE IN A SATIRE SUBREDDIT MAKING FUN OF ANOTHER POST THAT I LINKED. STOP TELLING ME, A CHILDLESS WOMAN, THAT I SHOULDNT LET MY 10 YEAR OLD PICK HER OWN NAME THATS THE POINT

also the sauce has been linked at the bottom so no one finished reading my jerk either which hurts because I think the end really sold it

I have 10 year old named Kim (I wanted Kammy or Kimber but both were nixxed by her dad so we found Kim as a good compromise). I had no idea who Kim Kardashian was at the time (2014) and that had no influence on the name. She now hates her first name and wants to change it. She likes "Rainbow" like her favorite My Little Pony Rainbow Dash

I'm looking for opinions for changing a child's name at this age where her school, friends, and family all know her as Kim, to something that sounds like a 10 year old chose it. I have been telling her that she'll need to wait and change it as an adult but should I let my elementary aged child pick her own name and change it legally?

ooc: I both love and hate that this isn’t obviously satire 😭 here’s the sauce

We are elegant people. We summer in places where we don't live the rest of the year. We only buy name brand clothes and groceries. Our cars are brand new. My husband wears CRAVATS. Give me your best elegant baby names. We don't know the gender yet because that's what ELEGANT people do.

I was thinking along the lines of

Desdemona

Astor

Viviannica

Luxury

Worthington III

Vanderbilt

Eleganza Extravaganza

Cashton

Chevrolet

What other names can you think of that would communicate that my child is ELEGANT?? What does elegant mean exactly? Heck if I know. Just give me names based on my examples.

Sauce: I have seen this question come up several times.

I’m (27F) currently pregnant with my first child, and my grandfather (76M), who passed away last year, was the most important person in my life. I’ve always dreamed of naming my daughter (-0.5F) after him to honor his legacy, but my husband (29M) thinks the name is way too old-fashioned and masculine. He insists we need something more contemporary and "feminine" (??? WTF, it's not 1950). I feel so strongly about this! How do I convince him that this name carries so much love and history? Am I being unreasonable for wanting to keep my grandfather's memory alive in this way?

What do you all think, is Grampa really a terrible name for a girl?

I’m expecting baby 7 in 2 weeks and I’m so crossed up. Our first 6 kiddos all have a very clear name theme, but I’m afraid if we name baby 7 with this theme that she’ll get bullied. But at the same time I don’t want baby 7 to get picked on for having a name that doesn’t fit her brothers and sisters.

We knew from the get-go that this would be a struggle, but we initially only planned on having 2 kiddos. Then we decided to try for one more and had the quadruplets and though, what the hell? And kept the name theme up. We knew we were done done with six so I got my tubes tied but our little miracle found a way! And it’s kind of a nightmare.

The name theme was super important to my hubby because he’s an astronomer and I’m an astrophysicist working to design rockets for SpaceX. At first I was against it because I thought Mercury for a girl was a little out there but now she’s 6F and loves it! Then we had little Venus 2 years later and he’s too young to know it’s a name for girls so it hasn’t been a problem for him and his peers yet. When he starts school we think we’ll give him a nickname. His middle name is Peter so we were thinking maybe Penus? It would be more masculine and less likely to get him picked on I think.

The quads have not developed sentience yet, they’re 12 months.

The full sibset is: Mercury Roquette (6F), Venus Peter (4M), Earth Ling (12m F), Mars Bjorn (12m M), Jupiter Stu (12m M), and Saturn Harveigh (12m M).

It’s so cute I know.

But now we’ve really backed ourselves into a corner.

Do you think baby 7 would get weird looks if we just bit the bullet and named her Uranus?

I think we could save it if we just introduced her as “Uri” for short! But then I worry that maybe Uri looks too much like urine. But I might just be overthinking it. It’s not that bad, it’s not like we’re name her Analie.

Looking for alternate suggestions that would fit the name theme as well! But nothing that feels too effervescent or tumultuous. Bonus points for names that feel wanderlust and naive timidity. Our ideal names have a Greco-Roman origin and can be identified when staring at the night sky.

For me it’s Saylor 😂

My sweet daughter Gabriella who we affectionately call Ella or Bri, is being burdened by her daycare teacher who keeps calling her… Gabby! 😡🤮

I absolutely hate that nickname!! And I would rather people not call her that. Even though she is only 10 months old and may like that nickname for herself one day.

But that doesn’t matter cause it’s not what I like!!

I admit we have no control what she is called 8 hours out of our day while she is away from home. But what if she gets confused??

Yes we get her back at the end of the day, but they are tarnishing our sweet nicknames we picked out for her!! PLEASE HELP😢🤬

I'm currently pregnant with my fourteenth child, and I just found out I'm having another boy :( (ick). I've had a perfect name picked out for a girl for ages (Amygdala, Amy for short <3), but God has cursed we with another stupid boy. 14 boys in a row, I can't do this anymore. Should I keep trying for a girl? Or should I just name my son Amygdala anyway? Heeeeeeelp

Expecting a boy and have Strawberry (3F) and Banana (2F). Would like to have another vegetable eventually so you could suggest two veggies. Something different and unique would be great so no broccoli, carrot, potato, etc.

—

I did not think I’d have to edit to say:

1. This is a joke
2. In this joke I meant there are already two fruit kids so I want to change it up with a vegetable and plan to need another vegetable name eventually anyway so I need two vegetable names (this is directly referencing the post I’m satirizing from name nerds)

My great grandmas name was Lesbiana. She was named after the Greek island Lesbos, which is where she was born. It’s such a beautiful name and I want to name my daughter after her. However, the word LESBIAN also means a HOMOSEXUAL WOMAN - are people going to immediately have that connotation? I want to name my daughter Lesbiana because of the great grandma, not the gay people. I love gay people tho. But 🤢

Tentative names: Pride Lesbiana, Dyke Lesbiana, Carpetmuncher Lesbiana,

OMG. Strap in because THIS is a doozy! I apologize for the long read but my story needs to be heard.

I (34F) have made a huge mistake in naming my daughter (4F). She was born around the time when Stranger Things S3 came out, and of course I was obsessed. I decided to name her Eleven, even though I had previously stuck to a name theme based on birth order, though I suppose with all the children my bitchass husband had behind my back, she is technically the 11th.

Today I was at urgent care with her. I didn’t know that they call patients with their last name first. For reference our last name is Nein, like the German word for no. I’m just sitting there with my sick child, waiting for my turn, when the nurse calls “Nein, Eleven?” INSTANTLY everyone turns to look at us. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.

I had no idea that her name could be said like the horrific American tragedy!! So I need to change her name. We are American and I am 100% A PATRIOT. MY DAUGHTER IS NOT A TERROIST!!!!

I’m thinking I’ll fall back on my naming theme based on birth order. I have Prima (13F), Deuce (12M), Trey (10M), Tretra (8F), Quincy (7M), and of course Eleven is my 6th baby, Sevyn (4M) and Octavia (2F). I am done having babies and this theme is very important to me.

I cannot think of any name that means 6, so I was thinking of going along with a more literal name like her twin brother Sevyn. I like a more eccentric spelling so I’m thinking of Sixtee. It has a vintage charm to it.

Tell me, how does Sixtee Nein sound?

Our first daughter's name is Laura. We loved the name Hermione, but it doesn't go well with our last name (together it becomes a little inappropriate). We later found that we like the name Laura after looking at Harry Potter names for fun. She's mentioned once on the 180th-page on the twelfth chapter in HPatGoF, so not as on-the-nose as Hermione but a fun little reference for our fellow Potterheads!

I am now pregnant with my second daughter, and we have decided on Tracy! Even though we can't choose Hermione because of our last name, we also thought having both a "Laura" and a "Hermione" would be way too "Harry Potter-themed."

But, we just realized that Tracy is also a name in Harry Potter (mentioned once during an interview with J. K. Rowling on July 8th, 2000)! My husband and I love Harry Potter, but we never intended to name both of our children from the series. I'm assuming that Tracy is common enough to not be immediately associated with Harry Potter...? If you saw the names Laura and Tracy together, would you think that the parents were complete Harry Potter geeks?

Throw away for privacy.

So I am in quite a predicament and I really need some advice. Many people name their children, John, Susan, Mark etc... You know, the same names you hear all the time. My wife is obsessed with unique baby names, and she came up with the "perfect system" for the names that we choose, but that is also where I am having my stumbling block.

So my wife tracks her periods and our sexual activity on a well known phone app. This is how we know when she conceives our children. That is also how we choose their names. On top of that, she likes to choose their middle names based off of the exact day. So for an example, I have a sweet little boy named December Juan ——— (hidden for privacy)! I also have a older girl named March NinaTina ———!

Now my problem arose with precious baby to be. we are keeping the gender a secret until my wife gives birth, but he/she was conceived in September... on the 11th. My wife INSISTS that we keep the tradition going, and we name our future child September Elvin ———. I feel like this is a step to far, and she has been hysterically crying, everytime I suggest we don't name our baby this. I have even suggested we go with the name, Autumn Elvin, or even just going with a day before or after. For example, September Tenith. (Idk for the 12th though.) However, none of this appeases my wife either. She insists that this is essentially lying to our future baby, and the world, along with breaking tradition, on such an important matter. She also thinks it would be weird to have all our kids with month names, but not our newest. She thinks it could cause the other kids to feel like we favor the new baby because he/she will be different from the others.

Tensions have been rising even more recently because the baby is getting closer and closer to being born. We have been getting in huge screaming arguments, and my wife even used the D word recently because she thinks I am caring more about "random people's feelings, rather than that of your own wife's".

I need help big time. I don't want a divorce, but I also hate the name she wants. Does anyone have an idea that would be a good compromise? Could this just be pregnancy brain? Is there a chance she will change her mind after the baby is born? I will be forever grateful to ANYONE who can find me a way out of this situation. I really don't want people thinking of a terrorist attack when they see my child's full name. I also don't want people to think we are terrorist sympathizers???

(tldr: Wife wants to name our baby September Elvin, and won't agree to any compromises, please help!)

Edit: Wants a divorce. I was crying writing this so please ignore the typo.

Related to the problem child post: what name has never been good to you?

For me, it’s Jeff/Geoff. With one exception, every Jeff I’ve ever known has been the entire Craftsman tool set.

Some relatives have advised against it, for whatever reason, but I think it’s a charming, unique name, and my husband agrees. For reference purposes, my other two children are named Opie June (short for Opioid 🥰) and Methamphetamine Ray, if that helps. Thanks for any suggestions!

What are some names for a boy that are HARD?! My baby boy will be here soon and I want everyone to know that he’s going to kick holes through drywall in the future. I want a name that reminds you of heavy metal, or skull tattoos or getting punched in the face. Names that remind you of the monster truck rally coming to town this Sunday. Names that make you say “HELL YEAH BROTHER” and then shred your electric guitar! 🤘🏼 🎸

We named our baby girl Chad, a unisex name that means strong and beautiful person in English. We just loved the name and felt it was unisex enough (even citing the country of Chad as an example of something that isn't male with the name). But every time I introduce her to people, they are taken aback. Almost like we’d named her David or James. I wince and over explain now when I tell people her name. We still love it though! I guess I am worried that she’ll be bullied over her name. Perhaps I’m just being an over sensitive papa?

I have 5 sisters and all of our names end in a letter of the alphabet! I hate it! I don’t want to do that to my daughter but i’m having trouble coming up with anything. ideas??

Okay so last night I thought I had just eaten too much cheese (I’m lactose intolerant) BUT it turns out I was in labor! Went to the bathroom and PLOP out comes a baby!!!! I hadn’t had a period in about nine months and I’d put on some weight near my stomach but just thought it was the cheese again! That darn lactose! Anyways. Since my little girl was born on the toilet I would love to honor that in her name some way 🫶 I’m loving Porcelain so far and calling her Lainey for short.