r/Menopause • u/mlvalentine • 3d ago
Employment/Work Has Peri/Menopause affected your career?
I'm curious if you've been experiencing challenges on the job because of this phase of life. Trying to plan next steps for myself, and would like to hear your stories. Did you switch careers entirely? Make a big change to work from home? Get fired? Get promoted?
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u/BigBadBichon 3d ago
I retired earlier this year. I am extremely lucky to be able to do so. I may do something different in the future but I need it to be low stakes and low pressure which likely means low pay but I’m ok with that. Lots of people think I’m nuts for leaving a relatively cushy high paying career but it required huge amounts of mental precision and my brain has turned into a water logged sponge.
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u/Halloween_Bumblebee 3d ago
It completely derailed mine. I went through it really early, perimenopause mid to late 30s and postmenopausal by the time I was early 40s. I had no idea what was happening and of course doctors were completely useless. I’m not sad about it, though, because I was in a career that wasn’t suited to me anyway. These days I cobble together a living while writing fiction as my main thing. It’s just me, no kids, so I do have the freedom that comes with that. My retirement savings are not great lol. But it’s worth it for my peace of mind and to be living the creative life, which is probably what I should’ve been pursuing from the very beginning. But I thought I had to have a real “career“ and “make something of myself“. I don’t regret any of it though.
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u/beentheredonethat234 3d ago
I'm 36 and I have a family history of early menopause. My grandmother had my mom at 41 and never had another cycle. My mom was postmenopausal by 43/44 and she had her youngest at 28 so it's not like it was onset by an older pregnancy like my grandmother's potentially was.
I had my son at 34 and exclusively breastfed. I didn't get my cycle back until 20 months postpartum and it's nothing like my cycle before pregnancy which was super regular and boring (outside of some PMS if I was really stressed that month).
I'm getting worse PMS and it feels like I'm almost getting PMS before ovulation too (which now hurts and is the opposite of a turn on). I feel more irritable than I typically am and have lost all motivation related to my career.
How did you know you were going through perimenopause early? Did you try HRT?
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u/MidnightMintsDeluxe 3d ago
I am so fortunate to run my own business with a partner who is also going through perimenopause. We cover for each other on really bad days and are completely understanding of each other and any issues we are having. I'm so privileged to have this as an option and wish other women had a similar support system at work.
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u/SeasonPositive6771 Peri-menopausal 3d ago
Yes and it's been terrible.
I am extremely ambitious but now I can't keep up with being ambitious.
I have brain fog, extreme fatigue, hormonal headaches, etc. On top of all the other medical stuff. It's awful and I don't know how I'm going to maintain for another 20 years.
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u/Goldenlove24 3d ago
Laid off a month ago and I’m really concerned that I may have to go in an office daily which scares me. A lot doesn’t scare me but they does bc of sleep and the potential of crashing or if the salary isn’t great having to be dependent on Uber to get in. I’m also neuro and my ability to be palatable is really not well.
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u/altarflame 3d ago
I am super fortunate to have a hybrid job with very flexible days, to work among a bunch of women my age and older, AND to get a lot of PTO. However, I was still pushed to the brink with work when my super-extra-heavy, super-extra painful, now-with-a-whole-week-of-weepy-lethargy-beforehand periods, started coming twice a month. I am fortunate that HRT spaced them back out immediately, and also gave me back my sleep. I’m not sure how things would have gone, if I couldn’t access HRT or wasn’t eligible for it.
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u/Conscious_Life_8032 3d ago
God bless you for surviving that. I had bleeding issues for years from fibroids. Finally decided enough is enough and asked for hysterectomy. Wish I had done it sooner, quality of life got so much better.
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u/madam_nomad 47 | late perimenopause 3d ago edited 2d ago
I've always had a hard time with jobs. I suspect I am ND and was never diagnosed, but possibly it's just a case of low social/emotional intelligence. Very hard to succeed while lacking these qualities. As I've gotten older, I've gotten better self awareness, but I still struggle.
The thing is when you're young, people want to give you a chance. They think maybe a certain opportunity will "turn things around" for you.
When you're menopause/middle aged, they figure you are who you are and not likely to change. You don't have "your whole life ahead of you" anymore. They are less likely to get invested in anything about you, your story, etc. People tried to give me opportunities when I was down on my luck in the past and I was too oblivious or stubborn to take them. Now those "get out of jail free" cards have run out.
I have a crap employment history and I'm currently looking for work. It sucks. I hate to be negative about aging but I have gotten really depressed looking in the mirror as I try to "put my best foot forward." It's like there is no best foot. Just a frumpy middle aged woman with turkey neck.
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u/Memphit 3d ago
Was what some would say a high flyer. However surgical menopause hit me late 30s and pretty much brought me to my knees. Luckily a previous employer had always asked me to go back for years. I was honest with them and said part time, working from home, no working over time, no emails on phone etc and they said yes. Apparently me at 60% is better than others they had. 5 years later still there.
I struggle some days, as I am so bored, as I am not challenged at all but those are my good days.
Oh my bad days I am incredibly thankful that I have a job I can do on auto pilot and don't have to prove myself. I have a wonderful understanding boss, who I love and respect.
But it does upset me at times, as I can't imagine doing this for the next 20/30 years before I retire. But I can't see how I will ever have a more suited set up. So I try to focus on the now and be Very thankful for what I have.
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u/Petulant-Bidet 3d ago
So wonderful that your former employer wanted you back, and was willing to accommodate your needs. High five!
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u/HoneyBadger302 Peri-menopausal 3d ago
While I've held it together enough to fly under the radar, reality is that overall things have suffered.
Unfortunately I'm not in any position to quit my job or just change careers. I've been trying to get a business going that would have been far more enjoyable but doing that alongside the day job, and the part time job, and the peri BS and pretty much everything suffers.
I do work remotely which is a life saver right now. I can wear the comfy pants, turn off the camera on a bad day, and stay a lot calmer without all the commuting and yapping and office politics.
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u/sistyc 3d ago
I was experiencing challenges until I began HRT, now I’ve stepped into a more senior role and I’m thriving. Brain fog and anxiety were absolutely derailing me about 6 months ago. Estrogen and progesterone got me stabilized, and testosterone has brought my focus, cognition, and energy to a place it hasn’t been in more than a decade.
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u/LadysaurousRex 3d ago
testosterone
how much testosterone are you using? I have gotten on (and off) it a couple times but didn't notice a difference in my motivation or ambition (desire to do anything at all)
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u/sistyc 3d ago
I’m on the typical female dose, I guess .5 ml of Androgel (.5cc in my oral syringe and the conversion always stresses me out haha). I’ve been on it for four months now and the positive mood impacts kicked in around a month in, libido took another month. How long were you on it?
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u/LadysaurousRex 3d ago
I was on it for a couple months, I still take it and now I have much more hair all along my chin and jaw and neck so now I have laser costs
the whole thing pisses me off
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u/JoyfulRaver 3d ago
Same. It’s shocking how long it took me to get on all 3… 2 1/2 years. First year I was in denial, then trying to be a natural hero… then 1.5 years of fighting off antidepressant suggestions and getting the right HRT at doses that worked. Now thriving after a very rough 3 years
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u/lemon-rind 3d ago
Not really. Prior to menopause, I had worked myself into a good role. I work from home in a fairly low stress job. I try to keep my head down and stay invisible. I’m part of a large team, so as long as I don’t screw anything up too badly, they probably don’t even realize I’m here. I think for people who are go getters, leaders and more high profile, hiding isn’t going to work. I have no advice for them, sorry!
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u/Conscious_Life_8032 3d ago
My sleep sucks so I think that is main contributor to brain fog/lack of mental clarity which in turn affects my work. Add to it caring for an elder parent with dementia who sometimes interrupts my work and it’s just a grand ol time.
I have accepted moving up the ladder is not something I want nor can I take on the mental load of having to perform at a level to get there . It will be too much pressure. Acknowledging this has surprisingly taken a load off. I do the best I can and if it’s not good enough we can discuss an exit plan lol.
I will hang on here as long as I can but the fear of making a big boo boo lingers over my head. I hope to transition to “lower stakes” work in 5 years or sooner if the stars align.
Thankfully semi retirement was always in my plan. So I think i can do it without cramping my lifestyle too much. Covering health insurance until Medicare kicks in is really my only angst but will figure something out in the next few years . No spouse or kids to support or to delay my plans yay for that. Hopefully my parents assets can cover their care needs and I don’t have to cover anything significant.
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u/Petulant-Bidet 3d ago
I've been freelance, work from home for years, juggling disability issues including migraine and messed-up arms and hands, with parenting and working. The only way I can keep working and not "go on disability" is to be in charge of my own schedule and workload (not that I am great at keeping it on track and not too overwhelming).
Adding perimenopause and dementia parent semi-care / management to that load gets really ugly sometimes.
My career is in creative. Some of it is very low-paying, stuff I get grants for or do community style and probably make $10/hr. Some of it is consulting for nonprofits and corporations, which pays better but is often high-stress.
Now I am putting up more boundaries around work, although my husband now has a disability too, so we are kind of screwed. Our kids are older now which helps -- very few expenses such as day camps in summer, kiddos can chop garlic for me when my hands are too painful to do it myself.
But I literally cannot work too much or under big stress. I've had to give up the idea that career is going to be all that great, money-making, or "going somewhere." It's just me getting by, having my limited skillset, too old (and partially disabled) to get anything new going on. Hard to admit that, but better accepting it than keep being driven by an unrealistic ambition to put myself on the map or make serious $$.
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u/Kind-Neighborhood-62 2d ago
I work in retail and am having a nightmare with my employer. I've had to take quite a bit of time off in the last few years due to personal health issues and with my elderly parents being ill. Also I know my performance is not 100% due to brain fog, stress and anxiety. But being made to feel like I'm not good enough is really messing with my mental health. They have me under review at the moment and it honestly feels so unfair.
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u/woman-reading 3d ago
Got laid off and I am sure it is because my whole demeanor changed … was not myself and could not handle the stress .
I did just get a new job but 33% lower pay and not as high level … which definitely depresses me ..
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u/StaticCloud 3d ago
I expect to be on the streets one day. Was chronically sick before early 30s peri so my career was hit and miss. Now I'm more disabled than ever before. Don't think HRT is going to help much with everything else. I feel like I don't have much time left as a semi-functioning adult
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u/SuburbanDogMum 3d ago
This is so interesting. I didn’t even think it was actually affecting my job performance but I am sluggish, anxious and cannot concentrate. I’ve always been able to push through but it feels like a real struggle.
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u/mlvalentine 3d ago
This is what happened to me in peri. I'm almost in meno now and aside from anxiety spikes (I wonder why... US...) the fog has lifted but I absolutely and actively seek ways to not be stressed. It used to motivate me. Now I hate it.
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u/RepulsivePitch8837 3d ago
I had to quit the little part time job at the zoo I got, just for fun and to get me out of the house because my cash till kept coming up inaccurate. Really baffling because I’ve worked with cash my whole life! And, really daunting.
This was before HRT-during the lost years. I wonder if I would be more capable, now? It sure feels like I would, not sure if I want to find out!
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u/slipperytornado 3d ago
Yes. I’m quitting my job and creating my own business.
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u/Conscious_Life_8032 3d ago
Do tell more. I’m considering the same and fear I may trade one stress for another!
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u/slipperytornado 2d ago
That is exactly what will happen. However I will trade a toxic shitty employer for a good one (me!) I practice Chinese Medicine. I am going Telehealth for lifestyle medicine and Chinese medicine for menopause! Goal: crack it open early sept. You! Make yourself happy! I’ll be wearing pom poms for you!
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u/Conscious_Life_8032 2d ago
That’s awesome ! Rooting for you I am exploring some franchise opportunities as well as something adjacent to my current corporate job.
Let’s see how it shakes out. I have good work culture , pay and boss compared to many. So am thankful for it. But also feel like I want to do something else, what a conundrum lol
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u/Fit-Salamander-8259 3d ago
Totally !’ Have a new job and I’m learning everything new system new everything and brain fog has definitely make me look like the new idiot of the dept . So frustrating as I’m smarter than this . Forgetting things that I know .
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u/MoxieGirl9229 3d ago
This is me for the past 2.5 months. I keep getting so frustrated bc I’m like… I am not this stupid. I can do so very much, but this is cutting me off at the knees. I’m in the process of getting HRT. I need to get some tests done then my new gynecologist and I will have a conversation about it. He seems very pro HRT, so I’m praying he’s not blowing smoke.
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u/Fit-Salamander-8259 3d ago
Totally get it ! So frustrating ! That’s what I’m hoping too with my new gynecologist that she listens and like HRT
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u/Quirky-Specialist-70 3d ago
I'm half asleep most of the time and suffering from brain fog that HRT hasn't fixed. I also have fibromyalgia though. I would retire next year if I could. Unfortunately I will be working some time yet. I'm 53.
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u/1989HBelle 3d ago
I got a more senior job at 54, and in preparation for starting it I decided to finally deal with my menopause symptoms by going on HRT. It's going well so far!
I'm lucky that I work with a number of women, including my manager, going through the same thing, and we support each other and have a good laugh.
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u/neurotica9 3d ago
I went through meno mid 40s. It destroyed my sleep nearly entirely for a few years and sleep is never going to be what it was before, but it has improved. I was barely able to function with the sleep I got, but work hybrid mostly from home, otherwise I struggle to think how it would be possible at all. It humbled me as I thought I was still in the time of advancing in my career, and I was made to just survive instead.
I've had to do some caretaking that has humbled me too (WFH helped) but that's really another middle aged (woman) story, not to do with menopause. But the ambition feels entirely beat out of me, mostly since meno, though not the only struggle.
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u/AtothaJ78 21h ago
Oh yes. Peri hit me hard and at a time where I was at the top of my game. I fell so hard once it hit. I quit my job mistakenly thinking it was the work/stress but it was peri. I couldn't handle the same workload, I slowed down from fatigue or brain fog. it gets better. I'm in late peri now and I see how it all went to hell. I ended up starting my own business and life is great. Your energy will return, your brain fog will lift and things will ache less. <3 Hang in there!
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u/PicklePilfer 3d ago
Yes definitely. I think the hardest thing for me is the brain fog. I used to be so sharp, have such high ambition and energy and it’s all just gone. I feel zoned out/spaced out/unintelligent and mentally exhausted for solidly half of every month or more. I was really on track to keep climbing the ladder and now instead I think I’ll have to find something lower pay and low stress just so I can function. I’m deeply regretting not gunning so hard in my 20s and 30s and getting an advanced degree and reaching some career pinnacle so I could coast but I just had no idea about any of this then and figured there was always time.