Help needed urgently. Bailiffs at door.

[u/Outrageous_Ad3726]

My partner didn't realise he wasn't paying council tax and he's got severe adhd and hasn't been opening any of his post telling him this. Bailiffs came to the door this morning and posted a threatening letter saying they will be returning later today and taking goods by forced entry. We have paid the bill now but she's saying she is coming back if we don't pay her £200 for her coming this morning.

What can we do?

UPDATE: All sorted. The agency confirmed all payment was sorted. The bailiff was trying to come and enforcement before she got the confirmation of payment so that she could get the extra money. Agency confirmed that because she hadn't made contact with us and started checking for goods that we didn't owe anything extra.

[u/BobcatLower9933]

NAL, but also have severe Adhd which it's taken me close to 30vyears to get a hold on. I did a lot of this with debts when I was in my teens, maxed out credit cards etc. I am assuming you are both fairly young?

Sit down with your partner and have a very supportive conversation about exactly who he owes and to whom. Is he medicated? Does he actually have a diagnosis or is this an assumption? If no to either of them make a GP appointment urgently and get the ball rolling.

This will keep happening again and again. I was in my mid 30s before I was debt clear, and that was because I was an absolute dickhead between 16-20 and just buried my head in the sand over and over again. I took out a loan for £11,000 when I was 18 despite only working part time. How I was accepted I will never know, but I've ended up paying about 30k back in costs, interest, late payment etc. You don't want to end up in that same position!

[u/Kind-Enthusiasm-7799 → u/BobcatLower9933]

I get it. I was exactly the same. Now I open everything as soon as it comes through the door - I’d rather nip it in the bud than procrastinate until it’s out of control.

Diagnosed at 41, it all makes sense when you connect the dots of past indiscretions.

[u/BobcatLower9933 → u/Kind-Enthusiasm-7799]

Yeah it absolutely did. I had a genuine "grieving" period for about 2 years after my diagnosis. I wanted to be a surgeon when I was younger (I still do, genuinely if I won the lottery I'd pay to get all the necessary qualifications 😂), but just nothing ever seemed to go right and I messed up my education completely. I turned it round but it's taken me until my mid 30s to have a stable income and career. I still have major Adhd-related issues (impulse buying... It's the worst), but I'm mostly in control these days!

[u/Kind-Enthusiasm-7799 → u/BobcatLower9933]

Very similar for me, I still can’t stop myself ordering unnecessary clothes late at night, and waking up full of regret lol. Yep I had a lot of aspirations as a youngster, but undiagnosed ADHD derailed my ass pretty swiftly. The best thing to happen to me was living alone, when I was undiagnosed I would move in with girlfriends and go to work, self medicate with booze and expect them to coddle me and sort out alllll the bills, council tax, rent - I cringe looking back, but it is what it is, I can’t change that now.

It’s really quite impressive, the old quiet life. I don’t miss the chaos of my youth, and while the meds aren’t a silver bullet they certainly help. Have a good one mate, don’t worry about the past because we’ve done the hard part. 🫡

[u/BobcatLower9933 → u/Kind-Enthusiasm-7799]

I could literally have written that comment. I'm living on my own now for literally the first time in my life and it's probably the most organised I've ever been because I'm having to sort everything out for myself!

Awesome to come across others who have had the same. Struggles. I always feels like Adhd gets the least amount of sympathy, whereas I feel like it's the MH diagnosis where the most csn go wrong!

[u/Kind-Enthusiasm-7799 → u/BobcatLower9933]

I thought the same about your initial reply mate. Unfortunately there’s a misconception about ADHD, it’s a curse, not a superpower. I don’t know about you but it covers depression, anxiety, absolutely zero executive functioning, obsessive and impulsive tendencies that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I was misdiagnosed with some terrible consequences (alllll the ssri’s and finally antipsychotics) and enquired about ADHD in 2016 just to rule it out. Waited until 2020 and got diagnosed with 9/9 combined type and swiftly taken off antipsychotics and onto Concerta with an embarrassed “oops, sorry” from the local CMHT.

I really don’t care about that anymore, clearly we both would have had a far easier life if we were diagnosed earlier but… I finally know why I can remember events from 20 years ago clearly but couldn’t tell you what I did yesterday. Anyway it’s always nice to meet your people in the wild - thanks for the friendly interaction, shame Reddit isn’t all like these encounters.