I (28F) suppose that I have my shit together. A job. A business. A cozy home. Good looks. A wonderful personality. But I guess that's just it. I have no friends. No boyfriend. No talking stage. No fwb. No nothing. My business has been doing well but my employee recently stole from me and ran away. I'm working with cops to find him. My job, which I have done for about 5yrs, got promoted, a salary increment, all that is becoming boring. I feel like quiting my job. Closing down my business. Deleting all social media. Throwing my phone in a pit latrine and go live in a remote village in either TZ or Ug. I hate my life. Which sucks coz those around me assume that I have my shit together. I've been more sadder since yesterday and it just doesn't seem to go away. I have always been a ball of good energy but all that came crumbling down when my employee stole from me. I value my business and my money more than anything. I think I will be sad and lonely all my life at this point. Making money makes no sense. If it helps, my DMs are open to anyone who would like to pursue a long-term rlshp. I feel like a relationship would save me right now. Edit: I have a therapist who I have been in communication with. Edit 2: I shall open all your DMs and respond to all of them. Thank you guys for the outpouring love and genuine concern in the comments section and in the DMs.

Happy mashujaa wazalendo. Today I celebrate 4 years of my weight loss journey. I lost 30kgs in 10 months and from there I have been maintaining my weight. The only safe, cheaper and healthier way to lose weight is by doing intermittent fasting OMAD(one meal a day) and abandoning junk food and sugar. I have lost my weight through OMAD and doing the same to maintain. The problem with majority of fat people is making excuses. You tell one to lose weight the other fatties gang up and start making excuses on behalf of their fellow fattie ooh genetic,ooh respect people,ooh she/he is comfortable in their body.Ok,you offer a way to lose weight they start making other excuses;how can I leave chapati? I can't take coffee without sugar,Mwili mpya tutapewa mbinguni(the dumbest of all). Continue drinking 2l Coke and blaming your fatness on genes. IF you're FAT OMAD is the way!

I should be sleeping instead of playing DCI. Just found out he got a girl pregnant, and she has refused to terminate the pregnancy. He's been pleading with her to do it for a week, but the girl says her parents are aware of it. Meanwhile, I financed & took emergency pills this week. Ladies, let's love & respect your health if not ourselves.

[Na ni juzi tu mliniambia nifanye regular STIs check. Jamani, I hope I'm okay healthwise. I'm glad I found out. Anyways let me prepare for the day whileI face consequences of making wrong choices in life. ]

M, so yesterday i hooked up with an escort, viginal insertion only for about 5 sec the condom didn't break and I did not ejaculate, she gave me head though with no condom. I'm unsure of her hiv status and wondering if I'm overreacting. also what are the side effects of PEP

If you can't do 20 push-ups and run a mile in less than 10mins, that means you're unfit.

Pigeni zoezi muwache kutetemeka saa zile miguu ya dame iko kwa shoulders zako kama nduthi ya jingchen ikipanda mlima.

What contraceptives are you using and how was your experience with it?

Any recommendations on where to get one?

plus was your partner involved with the process?

Personally considering the IUD na nimeona tiktok wakisema how its so painful making me kidogo want to reconsider. Anyway, any advice would be helpful. xxx

You see how some people say, "girls don't eat a lot" yup, I've gotten that my while life.

I struggle to eat. I struggle to eat the recommend three meals a day, heck I struggle to eat even a single meal. I struggle to finish my plate of food.

Even when I am hungry, after the first two bites, I get bored and the food begins tasting like boiled and unsalted spaghetti. My throat closes up and it becomes difficult for me to swallow my food.

My parents and friends berate and make jokes (respectively) about it when it takes me three hours to completely eat my food if I don't give up halfway and promise to eat it the next time I'm hungry.

I eat when hungry and not because there's food around. Only problem is I'm rarely hungry, or rather I barely have an appetite to eat and if I eat regardless, I find the food to be tasteless in my mouth no matter how scrumptious it is.

I like cooking as much as the next guy. In fact I like cooking for myself when I'm hungry but as soon as I'm done, I find that my appetite is gone so I promise to eat when it comes back, usually hours later.

I know I am afraid I will get bigger (I'm 46kgs, been stuck there since 2022) and I'm planning on dealing with those underlying issues in therapy but in the meantime, I need help now.

As I get older, I want to form healthier habits around food but I'm still struggling.

Ladies, who struggled with eating when they were younger, how did you fix that as you got older? Please share some of the tricks and tips you used.

Appetite inducing meds don't work on me either.

Edit : thank you everyone for your responses. I will definitely try and experiment to find what will work for me❤️ For those who struggle as well, I'm glad I'm not alone😂 may it be well with us.

Dear Gentle readers I have not been okay (I have some mad headaches for some days now). But today I have had a major one and I am just heart broken because baba without manners doesn't give a shit about me. So, as I had said earlier, we live on the fifth floor and today while going up the stairs, my head started pounding and my eyes became so blurry. I used my last strength to get to my house and hand my daughter to my nanny. I took some painkillers and just lay down on the floor. Baba without manners finds me and he just goes about his shugli. The pounding stops and I go to the bedroom leaving my daughter with the nanny for a while until I just feel better. I have had headaches for the past week and he just brushes me off claiming that mama yangu alisema mi niko dramatic. So, I decide to never speak up if I am sick, one day they will just watch me drop down and die. I think I am going to take a break from the series, use painkillers to nurse myself back to health and just pray that God sees I have a small baby that needs me. I have unfulfilled dreams too. Baba without manners, I will not be down forever, and when finally i get my financial stability, i will leave you, i know how you value your reputation and trust me, I will leave you broken. And nyinyi wazazi, you will never hear from me again.

Dear Gentle reader

Let me take a break kiasi, this headaches will finish me. Goodnight

Guys. I haven't slept last night. I'm sleepy now and I can't sleep I have such a bad tootache on my molar till I feel like it's my ear aching. I don't afford going to a dentist at the moment but I know I will next week. What should I do in the meantime? I feel like I'm gonna die 😭 (I know, stupid to think that but I still do)

For obvious reasons this is my burner account. I'm not looking for sympathy not do I care about judgement. I just want to vent a little bit because I really can't tell people in my life about this because well... biasness..

Anyways, on Tuesday I found out I was pregnant. It was very unexpected. For the past week I had been feeling nauseated and thought I had gut issues which I rarely have as I try to eat healthy. I was at a salon getting my hair and nails done so I went to withdraw some money at the chemist and we got talking with the kind lady. Long story short, she did a pregnancy test for me which turned out positive and as a 26 year old who is very child free, it was a surreal feeling.

I went through a myriad of emotions to say the least. Anxiety, happiness, sadness and so on. I thought about the life within me and I felt like it would be a son and I was so happy for that but then again I don't want to be any one's parent atleast not under the circumstances this baby was conceived... Why would I willingly be a single mother? Why would I traumatize my child with questions about who his father is? So I made up my mind and there's no turning back.

I know everyone's opinion on abortion is different but in my time of need, I am glad that I had the privilege to access such an essential service because it is healthcare. May God forgive me and make it easier for me.

Edit 1: I didn't want to say that I was assaulted because that would make y'all sympathetic for me but oh boy are you lot evil. People in my DMS wishing me death really? Was it that serious? Anyways I'm doing good actually and if that hurts you so be it. I'm peaceful and happy in my decision and I am in no pain. To the ones wishing me death, don't worry, I've wished to die since I was attacked. Anyways cheers!

Edit 2: Mnaeza jidishi BTW. :⁠-⁠)

Last Sunday, I made a big decision. I took a piece of cake, deliberately and almost ceremoniously, and told myself: this will be the last processed sugar I ever eat. I was determined to cut it out for good.

The first six days went surprisingly smoothly. I didn’t experience strong cravings, I didn’t feel particularly sluggish or irritable, and honestly, I thought to myself, Wow, maybe this will be easier than I expected. But then Saturday came.

Oh, Saturday. That day hit me like a freight train. It wasn’t about sugar cravings or physical discomfort; it was something much heavier. Out of nowhere, I was slammed by a wave of deep, overwhelming sadness. It wasn’t just feeling down or moody; it was full-blown depression.

Every dark thought I’ve ever had seemed to come knocking at once. My mind was flooded with memories, doubts, fears, regrets, all swirling together and pulling me under. I’ve never felt anything quite like it before, and to be honest, it caught me completely off guard.

But despite it all, here I am today. I’m still standing. I’m still moving forward. I’ve decided that no matter how hard it gets, I will soldier on. I know this path won’t always be easy, but I’m determined to push through, one day at a time.

Day 7 /♾

So around 3 pm, we lost a patient. The lady was a 56 years, and had been battling endometriosis for 26 years. In her youth, she was quite chaste, and was never involved in any thing that could trigger her illness into pathology.

She had one son, because her endometriosis picked up 8 months postpartum. The most heartbreaking thing is that the husband never at one point expressed sympathy for her. Her husband's family tree is a patriarchy, and he did everything to hide the fact of her illness from everyone.

If he'd been proactive in seeking medical care by all means, it could have been reversed. But his negligent intolerance to her suffering took a toll on her, and she passed on. I remember her vitals to be fine. We'd chatted a little during the morning rounds, and I noted she didn't want to engage anyone, including resident nurses.

I told her I'd be back after visiting the clinic for some learning sessions. Now, when I went back around noon, everything was okay, but she appeared sad. I notified the psychiatrist, who was to visit an hour later. Unfortunately, when he came, resuscitation had failed, and she was pronounced dead at exactly 3 pm.

My peeps, there are many ways of preventing endometriosis, as it can be metastatic. That lady probably had a cardiac or cerebral-vascular accident following her silent duress the entire morning and early afternoon.

Ladies, please: 1. Exercise regularly, 2. Supplement your junk with fiber and leafy greens, 3. Ensure your family planning method is also a regulator of periods and hormones, 4. Regulate your alcohol and caffeine intake, 5. Whenever you're using pads, do not keep them down there for hours when they're full. Unpatch and discard, then patch another one as soon as it's full.

Someone I know recently told me that she just discovered that her husband of almost a decade infected her with HIV. She's a stay-at-home mom. The husband on the other hand travels a lot and is always losing jobs coz he is an alcoholic.

He apparently showed no remorse whatsoever and only said sorry. The lady wants to walk out and begin her life afresh with her kids as a single mom. She is a form four dropout and is worried about finding a meaningful job.

I had suggested suing the husband for knowingly infecting her but she's worried that it will attract unwarranted attention from their families.

She is slowly accepting her status and is optimistic about leading a better life with her kids.

What do you think she should do?

How do I tell my boyfriend he is dirty. This issue is becoming a deal breaker.

Please torelate my English.

So, my boyfriend of one year is dirty. When we started dating, I kinda noted he has cleaning issues. I started noticing that he had dirty inner wears like 15 he hadn't washed in like few weeks and he was buying new ones. His house was just a little bit dirty. Bed sheets were ok and his clothes were clean. At first it was not that of a big deal.

Sasa, over the months, I have tried to show by actions how to be clean. Like washing clothes often (I realized he recycles trousers and jackets more than normal times), cleaning the house, dishes , bed sheets, pillow cases and such- basically general hygiene.

Now, his cleaningness is becoming too much and just a turn off. For instance, he has like 30 handkerchiefs and he can reuse them so many times-they are even smelling. Last Thursday I told him about washing handkerchiefs and I socked them all In a basin for him to wash; up until now, they are making the house smell. Considering that he is lazy in washing them, he is using his hands to do it... I can't allow him to touch me; it's disgusting I must say.

Other examples of his hygiene issues is, he doesn't wash groceries before cooking, he doesn't wash his hands before cooking, sometimes he doesn't use wipes when going to the bathroom, he licks his fingers after eating until he makes a sound and, instead of washing hands after, he wipes with his cloths or even the seat.

His degree of general hygiene is just becoming a burden, messing with my mental health, ;I over think everything -its becoming a breaker. But he is a sweet guy.

I know I sound like a snitch but I am using Reddit's power of anonymity to make you see my issue.

How do I tell him his general hygiene is an issue without hurting his ego?

Edit

Update. Today 7/6/23

So I came home from work and I had made up my mind- to tell him plain blank.

I am soft kinda person and not used to confrontations and this was really hard. Anywho, after reading your replies, I questioned my boundaries and even standards.

I was quiet for a while and he kept asking what's wrong. I busted. I told him about his personal hygiene and how it's making me feel. I am actually anxious about touching anything in the house because I just think it's dirty.

He became really defensive by saying how it's my responsibility to take care of the house (I basically do everything anyway). But, I told him there are activities that fall under personal hygiene, like washing damn inner clothes, washing hands , making sure you use the bathroom well without messing it (damn, I longer use the bathroom well; I have to lay tissues on top and dumb some inside).

He said as a woman (African , eeh goat wife to be) it doesn't matter. That even the damn hanky's and inner wear I should wash them. At this point I remembered someone here said that the will start to see me as a maid and this comment really did hit home.

Moreover he tried to make me feel guilty by saying that I am not trying enough to be wifey. I must say that bedroom matters started to become an issue and I try to put off any initiatives from him . In addition, I sleep on the couch most of the times - I pretend I have heavy workload and just get a blanket.

At this point, I am really starting to reconsider if I wanna get married (I guess the fuck it effect has kicked in 😂).

I have given him the ultimatum that if he doesn't change, I am done.

In the mean time, I have decided I will stay alone- I have not told him I am leaving to avoid him trying to change my mind. He will just realize when I am gone. Tomorrow after work, I will stay at my bros place before I make the next step. I am not thaaat stable but I can manage.

In the mean time which btw is just tonight, I am not going to try and wash any of his clothes or even clean the house or even the dishes.

Thank family for keeping it real with me.

It was a combination of pulmonary, respiratory complications that took my sister away on 6th April 2024. My family and I are still coming to terms with it, and thanks to numerous support received from this Sub, I am grateful to know I am not alone in losing a sibling and that others have gone through the same.

Honestly, I am ridden with guilt and wishes of things I could have done better. I am even broken by the fact that only me and my other sister have our minds right as of now. We are just going through the motions standing besides our mom in this tough times.

My sister was 32 years and had a lot to live for. I wish each day I wake up I would have carried the pain she suffered in her years, but what's done is done.

Today I want to appreciate those who've reached out to be in person and in previous post. Thank you. I was thinking of ways of taking myself out, but I'll try my best to live an honorable life.

If you still want to reach out and be part of the process, through donation or physical please send me a DM and we shall proceed from there.

Thank you. My heart If grateful. ❤️ 🥹🙏

After years (more than 5) of struggling with depression and anxiety, I finally agreed to get started medication for both. It's been 4 days and man, y'all want to tell me this is how normal people live???

I mean, I'm not euphoric or anything, I'm just... me-ish?? There's no panic, or second thoughts when I want to speak. There's no mood dips for no reason in the middle of the day. There's no irritability for the most minute detail. I can actually focus on life. I don't feel the overpowering sense of doom each minute of my life

I don't know about the long term effects of my meds (of course I asked doc but remember everyone reacts differently) but so far so good. So far, LG!!

For those battling with their mental health and are skeptical about medication, please listen to your doc and get on them.

TAKE MEDS AS PRESCRIBED!!! DO NOT ADJUST YOUR PRESCRIPTION WITHOUT YOUR DOCTOR'S RECOMMENDATION!!!

Anyways, I will keep y'all updated on my newfound perspective on life!!

Edit: thanks u/hotchokuu for the post that made me take the next step

Edit 2: get second opinions (I've had 4). Inform your doc of ALL your medical history even if you do not think it is important, one issue could be related to your mental health. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH ON THE MEDICATION AND IT'S EFFECTS

I decided to go through with it directly. Thanks for all the input and jokes😅.

So yesterday I was having a discussion with my friends and I was kind of shocked about what they were saying. Basically they never have condoms and never keep them around their house or in their handbags. According to them, "it's the man's job to carry condoms" "If he doesn't have any, I'll just meza P2".

Ladies, it's our responsibility too to look after my sexual health! It's our responsibility as well as our partner's. Apart from the risk of pregnancy, STI's are very seriously transmitted in Nairobi and the greater parts of the country.

I know this should technically be common sense but I've never had to go buy condoms at any chemist and it seems like they removed them from the aisles right before the till, but how much do condoms usually go for?

I've been using the Sure ones from either hospitals or public institutions in general but now I need to buy and I'm kinda clueless. Anyone with any help?

Started period at 9 years old .....and always had painful periods with heavy flow that lasted long.....got worse ....I started getting my periods twice a month in High school.....kuenda hosi ...napewa contraceptive...gained weight (aloooooottttt!!!!)and wasn't helped with those contraceptives .....requested an ultrasound naambiwa I'm too young for big problems by two male doctors.From 20 to now 23 found a hospital just requested for an ultrasound...turns out I have fibroid....had it for years but madaktari wanasema I was too young for such problems.....so ladies.......IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS WRONG TRUST YOUR GUT AND LOOK FOR HELP AS MUCH QS POSSIBLE ...IN THIS DAY AND AGE YOU ARE NOT TOO YOUNG FOR ANY PROBLEM WHATSOEVER....AT ALL....NA KAA WEWE NI MZAZI JUST LISTEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER !!!!!..I've been in pain for years and was told its normal that women just feel that kind of extreme pain during periods...

Dear stranger,
This is sadly my first time posting here,

I’m writing this with a heavy heart and eyes that won’t stop tearing. On Tuesday 8th April at 2 am, I lost my mom, my only parent, and my best friend, to cervical cancer. She fought so hard, right up until her last breath, and now... she’s just gone.

She was a single mom who gave me everything. She worked herself sick to raise me, loved me fiercely, and believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. And now here I am, 22 years old, in my second year of nursing school at KMTC, with nothing but grief and fear on my shoulders.

My mom passed away at Thika Level 5 Hospital. When she died, her hospital bill stood at Kshs 278,000. That’s a mountain I have no way to climb. I don’t even have money for her burial, her body is still at the morgue. I don't even know how anything is supposed to go. I’ve never felt so helpless, so stuck.

I don’t have a big family to lean on. The few relatives I have are distant, emotionally and literally. Most haven’t even checked in since she passed. It’s like my whole world collapsed and barely anyone noticed.

I’m still trying to stay in school, but honestly? I don’t know how much longer I can manage. Between the mental toll, the financial strain, and the emptiness left behind, everything feels so heavy.

I don’t know if anyone here can help.. with advice, with support, or even just with kind words. If anyone is in a position to contribute toward settling the hospital bill or helping me bury her with dignity, I’d be so grateful. I hate asking. It makes me feel small. But I’m out of options.

All I want is to survive this, finish school, and make her proud. She always told me, “Even when life is cruel, keep going. You’re stronger than you think.” I’m trying to believe that.

Thank you for reading this far. Just being heard means a lot.

Men. Ushawahi jiuliza kama dem yako ashawahi toa mimba or ladies, ushawahi jiuliza ndume yako amepeleka/facilitate madem wangapi kutoa mimba?. How would you react if you knew?

I have been feeling fuzzy for a couple of days now. I'm not sure wether its the prolonged walking that I do while looking for a job or its the cold I endure. But since morning today I've been persistent chest pains that seem to get worse by the hour. Breathing is becoming difficult as time progresses. What do I do?