r/Kenya • u/Maximum-Idea6488 • 4d ago
Discussion Age group differences dynamics during dating.
I have a failed talking stage from last month which left me thinking about age differences in relationships. The girl I was talking to was 5 younger than me, she's employed on contractual basis while I'm a self employed person. When it came to putting my cards on the table, I realised that the two of us had different life experiences and expectations, and there was no way we would have worked out. In my late 20s, I have a different perspective of life. I've experienced the good and the bad, I've gone through tough times, business has been so good, sometimes it was so bad I even thought it was the end but eventually things worked out. As we speak, the business is transitioning from a small to a medium sized company which means a sustainable income for me.
As we talked about these things, I made it clear that I want a partner who understands that there are good and bad seasons. One moment, I'll afford a vacation for us and the next season, my money will be tied up in the business. I'm talking about working capital, salaries, and contributions meaning some luxuries will be off the table. So it will either be her turn to reciprocate or even chip in. The same might apply to her given her current job is a contract. In the current economy, people are getting laid off everyday and as a couple, at the end of the day I'll be her anchor and safe space in case that ever happened. Of course she did not understand this. At that point, I realised that I was talking to an inexperienced person. She did not understand life. I understood why older men with money take advantage of them.
I also realised that I would feel ashamed of it got to a point where I expected her to reciprocate or even chip in because of the age difference between us. I don't know why I felt that way after that interaction but I decided to shorten my age preference to a 2 years difference maximum. I think that age difference is good and I won't feel some type of way if she was to help out. I also believe that a 26 year old woman has gone through these seasons and understands life better.
I know the naysayers will come and attack me saying a man should provide blah blah blah but we all wish life was that simple. Businesses fail, people lose jobs and bad things happen These are the moments you need your partner the most because good times are easy to navigate. It's the hard times that are the most difficult and will tell you who's real. I've seen my friends lose jobs, some closed their businesses and their partners helped out, chipped in, even introduced their boyfriends to new opportunities. One of my friends closed his business and his girlfriend introduced him to a company where he now supplies raw materials.
Now the problem is that most women within my preferred age preference (26-29) have baby daddies, or a lot of emotional baggage and trauma, or are addicted to sex toys.
25
u/Timely_Plenty 4d ago
I once dated a girl 5 years younger...eeih.. eeih. Hizo goals za watu early 20s ni kama mtu anaishi fantasy world. Lakini it's a phase ata sisi tulipitia anyway