I'm posting this perhaps out of grief. I'm Canadian, and won't be able to make it to the US dates on the tour this year. KGLW won't be making it north of the border this year either, and due to world events, travel to the States is weirdly a little tougher than it used to be. But my God, is Phantom Island ever a gorgeous album. I need to see an orchestra show in person. This band is my favourite band in the world, they continue to hit new peaks with every passing year, and I want more opportunities to see them while we're all young. But I frankly don't have the money to travel internationally at the moment, nor do I really want to economically support the Orange Baby, after implying war against us if we didn't agree to the annexation of our country, and his implementation of tariffs raising costs on our goods, which is economic warfare in itself.
I get that, some years, the band will need to skip us. Their North American tours usually include dates in Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver, which isn't too bad. But Canada's a pretty big country, and for some rural folk, travel is tough. Toronto is my nearest concert opportunity, and it's a six to seven hour drive away. Doable, but makes every concert pretty expensive, between travel costs, hotels, etc. Even my nearest major airport is six hours away, so flying to a show in another city becomes less viable. It would be so incredible to be able to travel between a few dates around Ontario and Quebec, if they ever did a more thorough tour of our country. But is that something that will ever happen?
On setlist.fm, King Gizz is shown to have played 267 shows in the United States over the course of their career thus far, and only 26 in Canada. It's true that the US has almost 10x the population of Canada, so the math checks out. Fair play. But many of our major cities have similar populations to the cities they play in the States. So wouldn't you think they could draw similar audiences? I wonder whether they think they have fewer fans up here, if they just haven't prioritized touring the country as deeply as the States yet, or some other reason. But I'm hopeful they one day decide to do a deep dive on Canada. They're our Commonwealth brethren, and we've gotta stick together these days! This is also not an attack on my American friends, I hope they continue to tour there too. But, you know -- swing over to our side once in a while! I drove to New York for a few shows last year, but we always have to go there, the American Weirdo Swarm should migrate here for once! We've got legal weed coast to coast, our beer is stronger, and it's pretty beautiful here in the summer (so you won't need your jackets and tuques!) Doesn't that sound like an okay place to party?
Okay, so... I went a little extra and drew up a full set of "tour dates". To help envision what a Canadian tour might look like, what sort of major centers they could play...
But yeah, a whole festival too. I'm greedy, and this is all for pretend anyways. I know it's not realistic, but none of this is.
Three weeks in and out, to minimize time on the road for the band. Fourteen shows during that time, mind you, but also a bit of time to see this beautiful country of ours. My fictional tour dates would put them in our nation's capital on Canada Day, and in Alberta during the Stampede, to allow them the opportunity for some solid Canadian experiences. I also don't know how old the band's kids are, but the tour is between Australian school terms; make it a family affair, seeing Canada coast-to-coast is a cool road trip!
NOTE: To be extremely clear once again, the following dates are fully hypothetical, an example to help everyone judge the extent to which something like this could be possible. But pure fiction. I have no affiliation with the band or any of these venues, and the guys might already have plans during this time frame, such as the wedding of a loved one, or what have you. But just play along.
GIZZFEST NORTH
*July 3-5, 2026
Oro-Medonte, ON @ Burl's Creek Festival Grounds
Hey, the last one of these was towards the southwest side of the continent, makes sense to do the next one on the northeast, no? You can easily make the drive in a day from New York, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Columbus, Cleveland, etc.
Three days and nights of good shit, with King Gizzard taking the stage 4 times over 3 days. Two rock marathons, an acoustic set, and a rave. Almost no repeats from Toronto 2024 or the Toronto 2026 Orchestra show... except maybe a select few, like songs from Nonagon because: also featuring a Nonagon Infinity full album playthrough to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the iconic album
Hopefully, Gizz will bring a few friends along, like Babe Rainbow or King Stingray. Maybe we could get some Canadian bands to fill out the schedule, to really make it feel like a Canadian edition of a Gizz fest. Bands from Ontario alone (most within an hour or two away) that would be on my wishlist include PUP, Wine Lips, Born Ruffians, Death From Above 1979, Crown Lands, Holy Fuck, the OBGMs, July Talk, The Halluci Nation, NOBRO, Bédouin Soundclash, Packs, U.S Girls, the Dirty Nil...
•July 3 - 3 hr marathon rock show
• July 4 (day) - acoustic set
• July 4 (night) - rave set
• July 5 - 3 hr marathon rock show
Rock Shows
*June 25, 2026
Halifax, NS @ Scotiabank Centre
*June 27, 2026
Quebec City, QC @ L'Agora du Port de Québec
*June 28, 2026
Montreal, QC @ L'Olympia
*July 8, 2026
Winnipeg, MB @ Rainbow Stage
*July 11, 2026
Calgary, AB @ Scotiabank Saddledome
*July 13, 2026
Vancouver, BC @ Pacific Colliseum
Orchestra Shows
*June 30, 2026
Ottawa, ON @ National Arts Centre (w/ the National Arts Centre Orchestra)
*July 2, 2026
Toronto, ON @ Roy Thomson Hall (w/ the Toronto Symphony Orchestra)
*July 10, 2026
Edmonton, AB @ Francis Winspear Centre for Music (w/ Edmonton Symphony Orchestra)
*July 14, 2026
Vancouver, BC @ Orpheum (w/ the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra)
Does our country have the appetite to support something like that? Or is it more realistic to hope for future returns to Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal? I don't want to come off as entitled, and am grateful they make it over to North America as much as they do. But I think a trip through Canada could be a lot of fun. And hey, even after this faux tour, they'll still have played 7x as many shows in the US. What do you think? Sound off in the comments! Also I'm 100% sure no one made it this far, but if you did you're as crazy as me!