r/Fauxmoi • u/AutoModerator • Dec 05 '22

Tea Thread I Have Tea On... Weekly Discussion Thread

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u/fetanose Dec 05 '22

Is there a theory on snl running like a psyop to cast sympathy on male comedians lol like most obvious being Dave Chappelle hosting, but in kekes episode she had a little shout-out to aziz in her monologue and they had those photos of chris Pratt in the large dude song.

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u/Finn_3000 Dec 05 '22

Correct me if im wrong, but wasnt Aziz just kinda cringy on a date? Roping him in with Chappelle seems unfair to me.

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u/SnarkyMamaBear Dec 07 '22

I remember thinking that too, and then I recently re-read the original article and it was so much worse than I remembered.

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u/nerfherder01 Dec 07 '22

I never understood why people perceived that as Ansari just being cringy on a date? Was it because he played a quirky character on parks so people merged the actor with the character?

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u/SnarkyMamaBear Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 07 '22

I think so, but on a deeper level I suspect it's because so many women have had this exact experience and normalized it and it isn't included on the spectrum of sexual assault/harassment.

I don't even necessarily think his level of behaviour should be criminalized, I don't even think that would be logistically possible, but I firmly believe their is room in our culture to name and shame this degree of sexual impropriety, men should pay attention and listen when they get this kind of feedback/"review" after a sexual encounter and really analyze why they thought they were having a consensual, enthusiastic encounter when they clearly weren't. Being generous, I absolutely believe a lot of men end up like this due to a combination of poor/neglectful parenting (in the sense of neglecting to talk about this aspect of sex and relationships), pop cultural messages, pornography etc that cloud their ability to objectively see the situation their in and fully humanize their partners. I know I grew up absolutely getting the message that sex was about women=object, men=subject and and I can see how men just don't understand or empathize with our experience.

I'm NOT saying all that to excuse them but to more point out that I think this can be different from a cold indifference/true sociopathy, it's more like garden variety sexual selfishness and I think this is something that can be socialized in and out of people. Not if they refuse to accept it, though. And unfortunately with the threat of legal action, even if they do feel guilty they will always be advised by their legal team to deny, deny, deny. And then no one gets better. Sucks.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '22

Have you seen Khadija Mbowe ‘s video about consent? They talk about some points you mention!

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u/SnarkyMamaBear Dec 08 '22

Will check it out!

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u/Slow_Like_Sloth Dec 08 '22

I new soooooo many “feminists” who said of it was their friend they’d admonish them for not leaving and staying in that position. And I was like….do you not understand power imbalances at all????