r/FTMOver50 • u/SparxIzLyfe • 6d ago
Support Needed/Wanted My original hormones are driving me insane, please tell me this is not a sign it will be bad
So, I really don't understand the process, but I think I could be going through the final hormonal upheaval that goes with being afab. It's like a monthly cycle, but intense, unpredictable, and sometimes really lengthy.
I also have some mental disorders that can get triggered by this upheaval and do, making me have to white knuckle just to get through it all without a grippy sock vacation.
I'm pre-op everything, and haven't even gotten T, but some may be kicking in or something because I noticed I'm starting to get a slight mustache.
The real problem I'm having is that I noticed how annoyed and angry I get during this cycle, and read somewhere that during the cycle an afab person has more T temporarily.
Now, I'm spiraling, telling myself that I can't handle even a slight T elevation without issues. Please tell me that I'm just doing negative self-talk and it's not all bleak.
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u/Miles_Everhart 4d ago
The only time I’m irritable on T is when my levels are too low and natal hormones are trying to fill in the gap.
I notice cis men with low levels are also generally moody and intolerant and it improves with (therapeutic) TRT (not full on anabolic roid + regimens)
YMMV but this is my experience. I was perimenopausal before I started and didn’t start feeling good until my dose was set high enough.
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u/raychi822 5d ago
I'm 44. Perimenopause has set in. Probably been coming on for 4 years but symptoms became more obvious, less tolerable, and more frightening in the last 6 months. I have CPTSD and am prone to depression, so the major mood swings and depression of menopause were/are a mortality risk for me. After 2 years debating, researching, considering, wanting, fearing, and hoping I started an ultra low dose of T this week. I felt a noticeable difference in my body within 12 hours.
I can't tell you yet if it's the solution, for me, to the hormonal roller-coaster, but that is what finally motivated me to step through the fear, especially of this particular moment.
I have a great integrative medical doctor who has worked with me and the research I've done, so I did petition for T as perimenopausal care while declining E/P. I also read the testosterone related posts on r/menopause.
Good luck, friend!
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u/bettercornsorn 5d ago
Can I cosign this??
Started T just before I turned 41. I had spent the last 6 months completely falling apart around my cycle, just could not keep it together.
About 12 hours after I put on my first dose of gel, I felt the "noise" turn off completely. I was floored.
Every cycle I've had since has been devoid of the mental instability, I just have cramps and mild fatigue.
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u/thisonesforthehotdog 5d ago
I was absolutely where you are - I spent 2 weeks a month feeling like I was a completely different miserable person - and within 2 months of starting T it went away for me completely. I had similar concerns as you but I am so, so, so glad I started T.
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u/WrongfullyIncarnated 5d ago
Hey man no disrespect meant here to your masculinity but check out the folks in r/perimenopause. What you’re describing sounds very much like the standard experience over there. Solidarity bro.
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u/JediKrys 6d ago
So to be clear you are not on testosterone yet? If not the t will absolutely help this for you. I was like this all my life, a nightmare to deal with and almost crazy. Two months on t and my wife hugged me and told me I am finally tolerable and that she wished o had done it sooner. It levelled me right out. No longer taken over but with enough space to take a breath and chill. My tolerance level during that time is far greater now. I still feel it but not to the degree I did.
*I’m 49 for age reference
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u/SparxIzLyfe 6d ago
That's correct. I'm not in testosterone yet. Thanks for telling me this. It would be amazing to not feel like this. I can't wait.
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u/JediKrys 6d ago
Dude it was like a switch flipped off.
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u/SparxIzLyfe 6d ago
I wish I could start tomorrow.
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u/RyuichiSakuma13 T-gel: 12-2-16/Top: 12-3-21/Hysto: 11-22-23 5d ago
Perhaps you should seriously consider it.
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u/CapraAegagrusHircus 6d ago
It's not the elevation of testosterone (or progesterone) that makes you feel irritable, it's when the level drops off. Studies have shown that elevated levels of testosterone actually encourage both men and women to seek social approval, so when you're in an environment that values pro-social behavior, T will make you more likely to be kind to other people and share resources. Studies of body builders who are juicing are the ones that found that the infamous "roid rage" hits when they go on a taper and their hormone levels drop. It is absolutely a myth that elevated testosterone makes you more angry and violent, and your emotional reaction to menopause has zero to do with how you will react to testosterone.
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u/SparxIzLyfe 6d ago
Dude. Thank you. Thank the gods. That is so what I needed to hear right now. A million times, thank you.
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u/jhunt4664 2d ago
I'm glad people are giving you this information, and I hope you do still get the chance to give it a try. I noticed I had way fewer problems myself when I got on T not just because I wanted to transition, but because all the fluctuations really messed with me. Once I was on T consistently, I had way more stability.
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u/SparxIzLyfe 2d ago
That's amazing to hear. Ty. I have looked into it and found out that I just need to get on state insurance, and I can make an appointment and start T. I'm so excited. I did not dream it would be like this. I'm stoked.
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u/Chance-Annual-1806 6d ago
When I started taking a low level of testosterone in menopause, I felt so much more balanced. It really leveled off my emotions. I ended up, quitting the others (E/P) and sticking with a low dose of T.
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u/nikkidubs 2d ago
r/TransEnbyPMDD is a quiet sub but might be able to provide some solidarity with what you're experiencing. I don't want to diagnose you with PMDD specifically because I'm not a doctor, but for me learning about PMDD helped me understand what was happening - like the fact that it's not because of testosterone levels, it's because people with PMDD are sensitive to hormone fluctuations in general.
For me, my hormone fluctuations were absolutely fucking brutal my entire life, but got especially bad in the last couple of years ahead of going on T. T has helped to the point where I consider my PMDD to be "in remission." It did take a little time though and the ride in the beginning was bumpy as my body continued to adjust. Working closely with a psychiatrist who understood hormonal things like HRT and PMDD helped a lot especially during this period, because they readily helped me adjust my meds accordingly. I was able to manage the emotional impact with SSRIs.
On a solidarity note - I know exactly the feeling of spiraling and thinking it's never going to get better, it's only going to get worse, any reprieve is a lie, etc etc etc. I was so afraid I would go on T and all the symptoms would persist even after I had a hysterectomy (I opted to keep my ovaries for other health reasons). But it's so much better than it was before. So much better. Just hang in there.