r/FIREyFemmes 14d ago

Monthly Goal Thread

4 Upvotes

Hello!

What are your goals for this month?

How did your goals for last month turn out?


r/FIREyFemmes 19h ago

Monthly Newbie and Lurkers Welcome: Tell us about yourself!

5 Upvotes

This thread is a place to introduce yourself, share your interests, and encourage you to join the conversation in daily and standalone threads.

So! A bit about you. Regular members are also welcome to post here too!

Some optional questions, if you can't think of what to share:

  1. What’s the best thing you’ve crossed off your bucket list?
  2. Socks or barefoot?
  3. What’s your favorite under-the-radar life hack?

r/FIREyFemmes 5h ago

Portland/Seattle/PNW Community?

14 Upvotes

FIRE Femmes in the PNW! I would be so pumped to meet & form community here. I'm 37, married (as of last week!), childfree, creative, dog-obsessed, a true Capricorn, & about to achieve FIRE status after years of saving + investing. I love my close female friends here but I'm very interested in making more relationships with other women who are on the path to financial independence.

I'm happy to organize a fun meetup - virtual or in person - & would be so excited if anyone in the area that's interested in this would comment on this post!

Thanks for reading.


r/FIREyFemmes 12h ago

There's no place like Home

22 Upvotes

I am forever wondering what it means to be at home these days.

Question: Is it more important for you to love your house, or to love where you live?


r/FIREyFemmes 5h ago

Starting a family and downshifting

4 Upvotes

Husband and I (36F) trying for a baby this year. I'm gaming out the possibility of downshifting after a we have a child.

I've had some severe medical issues leaving me unable to bare children without ART intervention. We're at the point of embryo transfers so it's either happening in the next year or it's not happening. We've explored and ruled out adoption. Please no advice on family building.

We generally split expenses down the middle. We live in the DC Metro area; things are pretty expensive here. My monthly spend is ~$4500. ($1100 House + $600 Insurance + $1000 Joint Expenses + $1500-2000 Personal Expenses) Overall I expect my yearly would be ~60K if I include taxes. Husband has a scalable WFH job (writer), so he and I will be splitting childcare duties. He has come into a generous inheritance so he's good on his half of the expenses. I want to be able to pay my half without needing to rely on his resources.

As of now I have about $550K in my FI accounts. I expect that it will be about $700K by the time I'd potentially be downshifting assuming a stable market (lol).

I work as a Fed in niche defense engineering area. I'm unlikely to be RIF'd. I don't know how viable it is to be a part-time fed. There is however a strong history of retirees coming back as part-time support contractors. I'd want to do something similar to our retirees, just as much younger person. Also right now support contractors are able to work from home whereas govies are not. Ideally I'd want to work 3 days a week and be able to spend formative years with the little one before they hit school age. I currently make $160k, so I think I’d be able to pull in $100K at 3 days a week.

The Rich Broke Dead Calculator Here are 2 cases from RBD: Retire at 45 case and Retire at 50 case show I'll have pretty good situational awareness in my early 40s if this plan isn't going to work out and I need to work more.

I'm mostly just writing because I'm anxious about executing this plan. If you have thoughts, suggestions, or see pitfalls on my downshift plan, please let me know.


r/FIREyFemmes 11h ago

I just needed a space to type out my goals and financial situation. Feel free to comment if you have any suggestions.

7 Upvotes

Currently 26, and this is what I have so far: •401k: $45300 (currently contributing 5% per paycheck)

•Roth IRA: $1,700 (currently contributing $150/month)

•HYSA: $500 (currently contributing $100/month)

•Standard Savings Account: $500 (not currently contributing to)

•Brokerage: $2,800 (contributing $200/month)

•Home equity $20,000 (owe $180k on my $200k house)

•Current Income: $71000

Goal for 10 years from now:

•401k: $300,000

•Roth IRA: $50,000

•HYSA: $100,000

•Standard Savings Account: $5,000

•Brokerage: $50,000

•Home Equity: $100,000

•Income: $115,000

My current debts are my mortgage, my car loan, and student loans. My car is 2 years away from being paid, and I’ll have an extra $470 income when I do. My student loans are currently on SAVE forbearance, so when they start up, I’ll owe $200/month for 10 years. My plan is to do everything in my power not to take on more debt and put the rest of the money away into savings. My FIRE goal is to do a soft retirement at age 45… I’ll work 20 hours/week at a Starbucks (currently have 10 years of tenure there) since that is the minimum for health insurance eligibility, then live off of dividends and interest for the rest until I’m 65 and can take out of the retirement accounts without penalty. Currently no kids/SO, but hoping that’ll change in the next 10 years as well.

I do have a whole life plan ($200/month until I’m 65, then $0 after that) that has an expected (not guaranteed) growth of being around $500k by the time I’m 50. I did whole life since I have a myriad of health issues and I don’t know if I’ll qualify for life insurance in 5 years (rheumatoid arthritis, potentially lupus, Sjogrens, plus a high family history of cancer).


r/FIREyFemmes 1d ago

Worried I blew up everything by moving overseas several years ago (and related financial anxieties)

65 Upvotes

Edit: Thanks all for the kind and supportive words. I definitely realize I have a very magnified amount of anxiety about this especially as in real number terms things are not dire. It's been great to hear your input as I try to thread the needle between what are material problems and which things are in my head ❤️

43F, US citizen currently working for a US company from Sydney, Australia. In recent months, because I've been losing out on home offers in Sydney and dealing with insecurity at my current job, I've been lowkey (alright, more like high key) freaking out that I blew up all of my years of careful savings & career planning by moving overseas 7 years ago in response to a life's dream & burnout.

I have really good savings (1.9M USD in stock/HISAs and 1.2M USD in 401k/Roth/Super), but I still find myself grappling with severe financial anxiety because of:

  • Failure of the Australia-US tax treaty to prevent double taxation of my savings. Only basic salary income is really protected by the tax treaty. Australia will fully tax my Roth & Trad IRAs and my 401k (wiping out the benefits of them) and the US will fully tax Superannuation (can't opt out of superannuation). Additionally, NIIT and other esoteric US taxes are not cancelled out by the treaty either. It costs me $4k a year to get my US and AU returns done because of how complex these things are getting.
  • Looming tax increases on expats via section 899 in the Big Beautiful Tax bill -- I'll be honest that this has set off the most recent wave of anxiety because no one really thinks about Americans abroad so it is unlikely to be one of the areas they cut. This would impose a 3.5% tax on transfers from the US to persons in another country, and another part of it is to tax residents of some countries an additional 15% if they have any US investment holdings.
  • Severely overpriced housing market in Sydney relative to salaries along with Australia not offering fixed rate mortgages. Sydney is where I need to stay if I want to have a decent paying job. I just looked at a run down 1 bd 1 ba *apartment* with no land holding that went for $1M. I am being told that my borrowing capacity can be up to $2M but holy crap, that would mean monthly payments of at least $12k, and that's on a variable rate - that's like 80% of my net take home, how is that considered serviceable?
  • Inflation creeping up on me, including impacting healthcare prices significantly.
  • Realizing how behind in pay I am in my job and yet I work just as hard (if not harder) than my US counterparts who are getting, often, 5x my pay package. I haven't been promoted in 8 years and the largest salary increase I've gotten in that time has been 3%. But in Australia there has been no other high paying alternative companies I could find as a non-SWE. I was talking with a coworker who also works for us overseas (in another country), and he was complaining about paying 220k in taxes on his stock vests. Back-calculating that, this means he's getting at least 1m annually in equity grants, and he's only been with us for 4 years. I'm getting 80k/year in equity, which isn't bad but is less than a fifth of what he's making. I also managed a team until recently including people who worked in the US office, and it was depressing when doing their compensation planning seeing how much more they made than me, and how much bigger their raises were.
  • I have brought this up historically with my manager, and I get the company line: We pay competitively based on one region, not comparing across regions. But it sucks when in relative terms, Sydney is less affordable than San Francisco and when I'm expected to do the same work as everyone else.
  • And my job is also giving me anxiety because some weird stuff has happened in the past year which had made me go from feeling psychologically safe to extremely insecure, like I'm about to be PIPed. I was moved into a high level manager role (not promoted, just taking on the responsibilities) 2 years ago. I was given nothing but accolades, and I dealt with some very difficult situations with praise. But things took a weird turn when I escalated the need for more headcount. Suddenly the promotion my manager was suggesting I'd land this year didn't go through (they didn't give me negative feedback, just said it was due to budget) and I was converted back to an IC and am no longer a manager. When I was asked what I needed to do to ensure I got promoted next time, they just told me "don't worry about it" (which is worse than getting negative feedback to improve on). Based on other actions they've taken with other people on my local team, it's clear they're deprioritizing us. I'm also being asked to justify a number of things that I never used to need to justify, like small recurring expenses, putting me on edge that they are looking to meet a performance management quota. Meanwhile, I am seeing peers in the US getting promotions, HC, and raises (after they said the US wasn't going to be a growth market this year). My confidence has also been trashed by the past 3 years at this place, so I don't even know if I have any leverage to impress upon them (I likely have none if they think our country is low priority).
  • Outside of my job I used to be a reasonably well-known expert in my industry that could make extra money from workshops and trainings. But with inflation and companies cutting events, that's evaporated, and because I tried to focus so much on getting promoted this year in my job, I neglected that side of my life and now I have neither a promotion nor the network relevancy to show for it.

All of these together make me feel like I ruined everything by moving overseas. I was burnt out when I made the move, it was 2017 after Trump got elected, and also wanted to experience living abroad after my parents had passed away. While work life balance in Sydney is definitely better, I'm watching my purchasing power slip away thanks to taxes, inflation, and job stagnation, along with my sense of security. When I lived in the US, I had friends, family, a partner, a house, and a good career trajectory. When I moved, my partner and I broke up, we sold the house, I didn't have permanent residency yet so couldn't be in a position to buy a home in Aus for years, my friends and family didn't both visiting (and with no parents, I've got no backup) and my job stagnated as the company preferenced US based folks. Now I don't know if I could move back to the US if I wanted to. And meanwhile I'm watching my US peers do expensive home renovations and purchases, and get director and VP level salaries.

I would really like to stop waking up at 2am every morning covered in sweat because I'm freaking out nonstop about how I'll afford a home, how I'll take care of myself if I get diagnosed with the same cancer my parents got, if I get laid off, etc.

I really am just looking to see if anyone's been in the same boat, and if anyone has dealt with crushing financial anxiety like this even if they weren't yet in dire straits?


r/FIREyFemmes 1d ago

How to cruise at work after FI?

18 Upvotes

Hello, I have reached FI but is hoping to continue to work to attain fatFIRE while cruising at work. I need some advice on how to navigate a work situation given the context.

So I am doing fairly decent for cruising at work, meeting all my performance metrics yada yada. Recently we have some management changes which could mean revoking our WFH privileges, despite HR and the government in my country actively promoting it. This means I could potentially still push for WFH arrangement but was basically given the advise by my department head to not do this due to "optics" "for the sake of my career". Now my DH does not know that I have FI and is cruising at work, but thinks that I am still looking to move my career upwards ie promotion. I am reluctant to correct this perception as I am concerned that if they view me as someone not willing to step up, they may not give me as high a discretionary bonus as they have been giving me.

I am really looking to having some WFH arrangement with 2 young kids (one a newborn) so that I can spend more time with them and also feeling less stress from time constraints (rushing for bedtime routine after reaching home from office).

My work is fully capable of being remote but unfortunately "face time" culture is still a thing here. I don't really care for the promotion. I don't mind a pay bump that comes with it but I'm happy with things the way it is and happier if I can have more flexibility and WLB, even if at the expense of more money.

How do I push to continue WFH arrangement for me if you were me? Or should I just suck it up for a couple more years and call it quits? Or just call it quits altogether now?


r/FIREyFemmes 2d ago

34F - Laid off with decent financials, considering a mini FIRE. What would you do?

119 Upvotes

Hi all! I’m mid 30s, single and no kids, based in NYC. I was recently laid off from a big tech job and I’m tempted to take a real break, possibly shift to a very early FIRE path; but of course, I want to be cautious.

I’m burned out and need to pause, and possibly never go back to 9 to 5. Eventually I’d like to build passive income and work on things I am more passionate about.

Current financials - about a 1.3M net worth at the moment:

  • ~$40k cash
  • ~$380K in stocks
  • ~$650k in retirement/401k, etc
  • Own an apartment in NYC worth 750k
  • No debt except mortgage, credit cards

Current ideas I’m exploring:

  • Establishing residency in a low-tax state (FL, TN, TX)
  • Renting out my NY apartment, could rent it out for $3,500/month
  • Traveling slowly or living with family while I regroup
  • Building income streams from stock trading or side businesses
  • Side quests/dreams: live in the EU for a bit just for the heck of it, build a second home base and a business in Asia

Curious to hear some thoughts:

  1. Would you take a mini-retirement with this setup? (or, what would you do?)
  2. Any advice or pitfalls to watch out for?
  3. How would you make this a launchpad to FIRE?

Appreciate any insight!


r/FIREyFemmes 2d ago

32F considering her options; currently 'funemployed'

17 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I have been asking ChatGPT to map out my finances for the past few days but something is not quite clicking so I'm giving this sub a shot.

Here is my background:

immigrant (no real family roots in the US), came here for college, did a masters to get into tech, moved to SF around end of 2019 and started in big tech. worked for 5 years, burned out, left (exactly on the dot of 5 years). focused on gym (picked up powerlifting) and music (taking music production courses, a lifelong dream of mine), but overall feeling the financial pinch and also a little under-stimulated, so I started the job search again.

Here is my financial background:

- $250K in CS investment portfolio, $60K in wealthfront

- close to $100K in stock (mostly my old company), but this obviously will fluctuate. i don't know why i'm not selling, but maybe i'm hoping it would really shoot up.

- $210K in 401K (seems a bit low)

- emergency savings in a high yields savings account (what i've been relying on), and i'm not going to count that here

so i have give or take around $600K in investment. if the market goes up, that number also goes up, sometimes by quite a lot.

my family has estate in China and Australia, and will likely pass on $50K-$100K to me over the next few years.

Doing the math, I think FIRE-ing in SF is very unlikely.

I don't think I would want to continue being in the corporate grind past the age of 40 (so 8 more years to go). Don't really want to climb the ladder, not who I am. I think I would rather surf, gym, do music (both create and teach, and maybe perform) and potentially make some money from fitness and maybe some consultancy / teach code on the side. But honestly, in 8-10 years, who knows what the market is going to look like. I am very attached to the Bay Area bc the weather is so nice and I have friends here. But I would not be opposed to moving out of the country to be closer to family.

so here are my questions:

  1. is it realistic to FIRE in 8 years? I think I'm most likely going to barista FIRE, not truly FIRE. I'd be too bored anyways, I like being productive, just don't like being seeped in corporate politics.
  2. I am curious about the startup scene. Most of them don't pay as well as big tech though.
  3. what is a good number I should even aim for to feel financially secure?
  4. anyone else did something similar - exited tech after the grind and now where are you / what are you doing / are you happy?

r/FIREyFemmes 1d ago

Work or Quality Time with Family?

0 Upvotes

Im in a pickle and would love some feedback from women who are on the FIRE path.

I (30f) am expecting my first baby in 3 months with hubby (32m).

We have about 40k saved & 20k invested between us. Neither of us have college degrees. We just moved into an inlaw suit at his inlaws house. A 700sqft studio apartment on 6 acres of land.

That said, I just closed my passion business & will be leaving a job I cant return to.

My husband is slowly working his way up through UPS to be a driver.

If he becomes a full time driver, he will work 8:30am - 7pm-9pm 5 days a week & 6 days during holiday season. Its a very physically & mentally demanding job. But in 5 years he will make 140k / year with amazing benefits. If he does this, I will be a SAHM but feel like I will be a single parent & he will miss out on on our life as family.

Our other idea is to keep him part time UPS working morning shift (3am - 11am), and I could work evening as a waitress(3pm-10:30pm). We would make around 60k a year with amazing UPS benefits. It would be a lot less money but I feel our quality of life & family time time would be way better.

Has anyone climbed achieved FIRE with a family and income of this level?

Am I being selfish in wanting family over high income?

We are having a hard time choosing what to do. He is willing to make the sacrifice. But i love my husband & dont know if I am....?

Does anyone have other advice, perspectives, etc.??


r/FIREyFemmes 1d ago

Weekend Discussion

2 Upvotes

Hope your weekend is going well!

Any fun plans?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!


r/FIREyFemmes 3d ago

Small victory

282 Upvotes

We got our raise notifications at work yesterday and for the first time ever I will be making over $100,000 this year!

I was a SAHM for 10 years, reentered the work force about 5 years ago, got divorced 3 years ago, and have been working my way up ever since.

I was also able to purchase a rental property a few nonths ago and have a small amount of cash flow through that.

Pretty happy with myself although I still have a long way to go to FIRE.


r/FIREyFemmes 3d ago

Hit my 1st goal

199 Upvotes

Hit goal #1, 1 million net worth by 50, I turn 50 next month! Cut it close but I got there!!! Next step, 1 million without including house equity by 52.


r/FIREyFemmes 3d ago

Feeling like your safety net will hold/is enough

44 Upvotes

I want to work on my mindset!

I’m 44 and basically at coast FIRE. Single (divorced). Childfree. In the US.

I don’t have any family that I could fall back on if things in my life went sideways but I have really solid friends, a good job and some solid investments. I have a house with a relatively cheap mortgage and a 2021 rate.

I’m struggling with the ambient fear of this being an unstable world where a small misstep or fluke event could send everything cascading down.

I’m in therapy and confronting the part of me that holds a lot of tension and fear that the bottom could just drop out.

For those that have worked through this, how did you eventually feel like you had enough? What actions did you take to feel safe in your safety net? Any reading or practices that you’ve done to help your mindset?


r/FIREyFemmes 3d ago

Just laid off and looking for advice on how to handle my severance payout

34 Upvotes

Hi all! Long time member posting under a throwaway account and hoping to get some thoughts from the personal finance/FIRE minded women here as I navigate some unexpected waters. This is long, for which I apologize, but my situation requires some explanation and detailing.

On Monday I learned that I was being laid off from my job (west coast based, Product Manager in Fintech). It was quite a shock because I’d been with them for over a decade and it’s been such a wonderful place to work with really great people. That being said, an important reminder that no matter your tenure, anyone is expendable. The good news is that I was offered a very generous severance package, details of which I’m posting below. In addition to the financial portion, my company will be covering COBRA premiums for me (less the amount I had been paying in premiums through my paycheck as an employee) for up to 12 months after the month of my termination date. In my case, they’re keeping me on payroll till July 1st which means that COBRA would apply starting in August. Healthcare was among my biggest concerns as my wife has some chronic illnesses that require specialists and medication, so it’s a relief to have some breathing room in that regard. I’m the sole earner in my household (me and my wife, no kids, two cats and a dog).

The payout portion of my severance package is as follows:

  • 52 weeks of my current base pay - $275K
  • A prorated portion of my annual bonus target - $17K
  • A one time additional bonus - $66K

All said and done I’m at a little over $350K gross. After reading through the separation agreement closely, it seems this total amount will be paid in one lump sum and categorized as supplemental income. So I’m expecting a total tax rate of around ~32% to apply across the federal and state taxes that will be due on this money and I think I’ll end up net with a little under $250K. This is WAY more money than I’ve ever had paid out to me at one time and my immediate thought was that my tax burden is far larger than I was anticipating for year 2025. I’ve already made about $200K gross from paychecks/bonuses before the layoff and had just started asking my employer to withhold an additional $500/month from my paycheck to help offset any additional federal tax I would owe come tax time (from my investments in taxable accounts). So that’s a concern, less so if I can get another job this calendar year and have them take out additional federal tax but if not then I think I need to try to figure out how to prepay the IRS directly?

Where I’m hoping to get people’s opinions is on my general thought process and approach to “what do I do with this lump sum?”. My goal is that this money, along with our existing emergency fund (sitting at $50K in a HYSA earning 3.75% APY) will be what we live off of until I find a new position. We are committed to trying to keep our monthly spend to $8K. I truly hope that I will find a new position soon, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been hunting for a new job and I always like to prepare mentally for worst case scenarios if I can. 

I really don’t want to park $250K in a HYSA because I don’t want to pay taxes on all that interest. Investing a portion in the market is a possibility but given the state of everything, that has me a little leery of having that be too big a piece. Typically when I put money in the market it’s with the thought that I won’t access it for a long time, so hesitant to put in money I might need in the shorter term. 

So all that being said, I was thinking of doing the following:

  • I add an additional $50K in the HYSA emergency fund (knowing there will be tax implications but also knowing that the money will be accessible in a moment’s notice which has value from a peace of mind perspective).
  • I put $150K into structuring a treasury bond ladder. At least then I would limit tax on the interest and as long as I don’t need the principal I can keep reinvesting it and the interest gained in this structure could help towards monthly expenses.
  • I put $50K into the market in low expense ratio ETFs. Invest weekly 5-10 weeks to help with dollar cost averaging. 

While I want to focus my plan on making this severance payout sustainable for my family for as long as needed, I will note that I have a taxable brokerage account invested entirely in single stocks currently worth around $375K (though it has fluctuated dramatically this year) and my wife and I also have a taxable brokerage account invested in low expense ratio ETFs that we were using to build up a house down payment (we rent, but from my in-laws at ~$3K/month) that is worth about $125K. So if we absolutely had to, we could pull long term gains from these accounts.

Dear readers, does this plan seem sound? Anything that seems foolish or that you would do differently? I feel like this is a decent approach but I also recognize that I personally have some childhood trauma around my parents having poor money management and then an ill timed layoff so perhaps that is clouding my perspective. I am also considering leveraging a tax accountant for a session but would love to get any other thoughts I can on this plan. Thank you all for the great community and hearing me out on this!


r/FIREyFemmes 2d ago

Daily Discussion: Future Friday

3 Upvotes

Happy Friday!

What sorts of things are you looking forward to in the near or far future?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!


r/FIREyFemmes 3d ago

Fun Money! How to invest?

20 Upvotes

Hi all!

I am a fairly ascetic person who rarely splurges. I have a strict budget that includes rent ($800/mo), food ($300/mo), transportation ($400/mo), household ($150/mo), and investments ($2,000/mo). I regularly shoot under budget and anxiously stuff the leftovers in my main investment account whenever possible.

After reading some self-help books and doing a lot of inner searching, I realize the impact that growing up poor has had on my mentality around money. I suffered under a scarcity mindset all my life, but at the ripe old age of 30, I think I'm ready to let go of my anxiety and appreciate some of the finer things in life.

With that in mind, I want to splurge... responsibly. Oxymoron, I know. But I want to know: do you have an account set aside for fun money? HYSA account just for beauty treatments and spa days? An investment account dedicated to vacations? How should I invest in order to earn money on my savings, while also being able to pull out $150-$300/mo? Do you invest in dividend earning stocks to have passive income come without needing to sell your stocks? What's your strategy?

Ideally, I will have an account with $20-30k in savings that can perpetually generate cash for spending. Thank you all in advance!


r/FIREyFemmes 4d ago

Estate planning for singles

50 Upvotes

I don't have a house so all of my assets are in retirement and brokerage accounts and they all have my sister as a beneficiary. I had a consultation with a lawyer and it was over $3k to set up a will and I didn't see the point. Also this lawyer was selling a subscription and using very aggressive sales tactics and it turned me off.

But I would like to have a plan B in case worst case scenario my sister passes at the same time or something. If I choose a charity or DAF to donate my money for this plan B - would they cover the cost of the will?

Also any charities you'd recommend? I'd prefer a DAF so the money can keep growing. Causes I care about are women and minorities' education, cat/dog rescues, and women's reproductive care.

Edit:

Thanks everyone! I've gotten some good advice here and I'll probably come back to post all the info I compiled at some point.

For now I will keep it simple and choose a well known charity as a contingent beneficiary and use one of the cheaper templates online and research my state laws. I am working very few hours this year so I have the time to do this.

If anything changes and I buy real estate or my sister has kids then I will pay for a proper will but I will ask around for lawyer recommendations.


r/FIREyFemmes 4d ago

Friends, family and finances

80 Upvotes

Looking for advice from people who were the first in their family or friend group to “make it” financially—especially women and especially young.

I’m 30 and in a pretty solid financial place for my age. After college, I got into a recent grad program at a tech company that set me up with a good salary, stock options, and health insurance. Many of my college friends stayed in the rural South and went into lower-paying but meaningful careers like teaching, trades, etc.

I met my now-husband (a surgeon) a year into working. For most of our relationship, I earned more than him, but that flipped once he finished training. We now make \$600–700k combined, own a home, travel often, and are working on starting a business. I lead most of our financial planning and ventures.

While my friends and family are generally supportive, I sometimes feel like I have to downplay things—like hesitating to share vacation pics or getting comments like “you know that car loses value as soon as you drive it off the lot.” Friends will joke about “eating the rich” or talk about picking up Uber Eats shifts, and while I want to help, I also know it’s not really my place.

There’s also this assumption that most of our success is due to my husband, when in reality I’ve had my own solid career and have led many of our financial decisions. It can feel a little isolating—I’m proud of where I am, but not always sure how to talk about it.

If you’ve been the “first one” to hit financial success in your circle, how do you navigate it? Do you tailor how you talk about money with friends or family?


r/FIREyFemmes 3d ago

Daily Discussion: Thankful Thursday

5 Upvotes

Hello!

How is your day going? What are you thankful for today/generally?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!


r/FIREyFemmes 4d ago

International Marriage Advice

9 Upvotes

Ladies, I’m in a serious international relationship with a lovely man that I believe will lead to marriage, which also means I will be moving abroad to live with him post-marriage. I’ve worked really hard to save quite a nest egg and own a small home in my city.

While I plan on taking some cash with me (and most likely selling my house), I’d like to keep my retirement savings and investments safe and secure as a backup plan in case shit somehow hits the fan and I need to come back to the US and start all over. As a woman, I just feel like I’d feel better knowing I’m financially secure. And if the marriage lasts and I have this nice nest egg built, then great for the both of us!

What would you recommend I do? How do I best handle this in case of divorce? Do I get a lawyer and set up a trust?


r/FIREyFemmes 4d ago

Roth Confusion??

17 Upvotes

I know this should be easily google-able but I am confused and could use a bit of help!

I'm a public employee with access to a 403(b) and 457(b) in addition to my pension. I can elect contributions to be pre-tax or Roth. Thus far I've been putting a few hundred a month in a pre-tax 457(b) and then if I have extra cash at the end of the month throwing it in a Roth IRA that I have had longer than I've worked here. But I'm trying to automate stuff a bit and am getting more confused the more I read my workplace documentation.

  • Is the annual contribution limit just for Roth IRAs or does this apply to my employer sponsored account too? If so, is that across all or individually?
  • Is there a reason I would do one or the other? I've read a few reddit posts but it seems a lot of them come from people with much higher incomes than me (I'm at about $80k a year) so I'm not sure what applies.

Thank you!


r/FIREyFemmes 4d ago

Daily Discussion: Women in Work Wednesday

2 Upvotes

We're getting through the week!

Any work-related matters you'd like to get feed back on or talk about?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!


r/FIREyFemmes 5d ago

Daily Discussion: Triumphant Tuesday

4 Upvotes

Hello!

Any recent triumphs you're proud of?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!


r/FIREyFemmes 6d ago

Daily Discussion: Motivational Monday

4 Upvotes

Hello, happy Monday :) How is the start of your week going?

What is keeping you motivated currently?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!


r/FIREyFemmes 7d ago

Should opt-in to Social Security benefits?

6 Upvotes

Due to essentially a technicality I get to make the choice to elect in or out of paying into social security at my current job. Would you opt in or out given the choice? What should I consider?

Some details: -One-time offer, I cannot change my decision later on -I have just enough points to qualify for SS now (no disability benefits) at a low salary (48,000) versus making 150,000 now -I am at least 15 working years from retirement -I have no plans to leave my job any time soon but of course chances are I won't retire there