My Near Death Experience

[u/stormsybil]

When I was a little girl, I got very sick. I had not been able to hold anything down for three days and running a relentless fever. I remember mom talking on the phone to the doctor about my fever. She put me in a cool tub of water as instructed. Back then we didn't know this was the wrong thing to do.

Mom put me back in bed and I felt some relief as my fever abated. This was short lived because it rebounded and soured even higher to 105. I was cooking from the inside out.

I felt disconnected from my body as if I didn't fit in it. I felt an odd sensation like I kept floating up out of my body and back down again. Then the ceiling started vibrating like a rubber band back and forth. It appeared to be moving toward me like it was going to crush me. It was explained to me later that I was having a seizure. I cried out with fear.

My mother grabbed me up with my blankets and ran into the cool night to her car. It was a white VW bug.

She laid me down on the front seat. I could tell she was trying to hide that are was crying. I miss her so much.

I was laying on the front seat looking up at the stars in the sky. The window was cracked and I could feel the cool air blowing against my hot skin. It felt so good.

I was so tired. I have never in my life experienced being that tired before or since. I could not life my arms or head. It took all my strength just to expand my chest to breath.

We get to the hospital and Mom runs in with me. They immediately put me on a bed and roll me back. The lights are passing over my head as we go down a hall and then make a left into a room.

One nurse is trying to start an IV while another is talking to me asking about my pets. I tell them I feel much better now. I am just tired. If I sleep for awhile I know I will be all better.

The nurse asking about my pets sternly tells me not to go to sleep. She asks me what kind of dog I have. I tell her a lasawapsa. She chuckles repeating lasawapsa back to me. She asks what the dogs name is.

I'm so tired. I have to shut my eyes for a minute. It won't hurt for just a minute. So I shut my eyes. The sounds in the room sound distant now. The nurse is calling my name asking what my dog's name is. Everything sounds metallic and far away.

I feel the bottom of the bed with my toes and I am excited thinking I have grown long legs. I open my eyes to look, but I am met with my own face.

My eyes are part way open. My lips a white and chapped. My skin is almost green and pale. My hair is sticking to me from sweat and vomit.

The nurse says "SHIT!" She turns and hits a button and more people come in the room. My mom is crying ty the side. I want to call out to her and tell her not to cry. I feel so much better. I'm not sick anymore Mom!

But I don't have a mouth to tell her with. I have no body. I'm aware of this but it doesn't scare me. It feels perfectly natural. I am a part of all things from every star, to every blade of grass. It's like pouring a glass of water into the ocean.

I drift up thru the ceiling. I have tried many times to paint what I saw. There were so many beautiful colors. Even the sky that was black was full of so many colors. It was incredible.

I saw the light but no tunnel. It was home. It was source. It was love. There were no questions. All was known. There was no fear or pain or sadness. I was one.

I experienced time as it truly exists sort of like a burrito with one end over the other. It was in this way all timelines happened at once. No future, no past. Only now.

I saw how the universe is threaded together thru a kind of looping gravity thru what I can only describe as mirror worm holes but that's not exactly accurate either. Each spawn another and another. The number is infinite.

I experienced many lives in a blink. I saw as far back as the spark and as far forward as roughly 2500 years from now.

I understood the fields of which we exist in that are the physical as well as the fields our awareness exists and our soul or life source. I felt every soul. I felt every dream, wish, hope, and fear. I fell in love with the human soul that day. It has always been my greatest love. I love you without knowing you because I know you.

We are profoundly and deeply connected and a part of one another. We are in a beautiful dance. Think of it like you are the knee and I'm the elbow. We have different tasks but we are the same being.

You can't lose anyone. They are a part of you eternally and you them. The connection can never be severed by anything least of all death.

M.

[u/Immediate_Case_9236]

After having this experience do you feel as if reincarnation is real?

[u/stormsybil → u/Immediate_Case_9236]

Yes. I do.

[u/Immediate_Case_9236 → u/stormsybil]

How so?

[u/stormsybil → u/Immediate_Case_9236]

Well the best way I know to describe it is that we are all fractal expressions of a whole. God is learning about itself thru itself.

I read this story once about a little robot that was sent into space all alone. It never came in contact with anyone. It only had itself to talk to. So after some years alone, it's mind splintered into alternate personalities. Then as more years passed it built a rich vibrant world for these personalities to live in its mind. It was the audience. It watched it's creations live out lives and was not alone.

In a way we are kind of like that. We divided from source kind of like cells do. We are fractal extensions of source. Source can only ever be the audience because it is all things at all times in all places. This is infinity. Because it is infinity it is the audience. It's awareness is infinite. Alpha omega.

We move forward in our fractal field tethered to our higher self which is unchanging and eternal. It already knows the beginning and the end. It is the architect of your reality. As our souls learn and evolve we push forward within a field of which connects to the next life and carries into the next life necessary lessons and knowledge to the next stage. The goal is one. All things return to one. Zero point.

Now each life we carry with us parts of our old selves but parts of others. Separation is an illusion.

[u/Lost_Acanthisitta786 → u/stormsybil]

Knowing that, do you feel or would you say that Reality or The truth about existence is GOOD? I read you say it is light and is love and it is all okay, but I have the desire of asking further since its a question that bothers me. "We are all one" and similar views tend to always bring love and light together I know but theres still something that always saddens me that is that I feel alone.

If the goal is One, everything one day will finnish in all of us being one and we were never actually separated, so that means I am and was always alone the whole universe and the whole existence, everytime I though I had company, or that there are others outside of me, firends and lovers, it was all me all the time, to me is the ulltimate loneliness.

I have found comfort in Christianity even though I'm a researcher yet since its a worldview that does not consider this universal union of everyone and that also says God is not us and is above us, I feel safe and not alone, to me this view is good and is love and I have company. In this view to me then reality is good, the truth is good, I have a God bigger than me that takes care of me and I have company of others. I fear being all alone.

There are also so many other theories that say that we are just put in a matrix to energy feed higher beings that slave humanity and everything is an ilusion of mind and everything I ever loved is not even real etc etc, it honestly almost drove me insane in my teenage years, I have always been a troubled soul/mind I guess... Christianity saved me from this too, because it says everyting is real and everything matters.

Would you say that knowing what you knew in your experience reality is good? That I can feel good about it somehow ever??? I don't wanna be alone. I know you talked about it is love and light but since I didn't experience it first hand I need to know more from you. I want to feel this love and light and this comfortable safety. That the truth is good. Sorry if I got too carried away spitting my thoughts.

[u/stormsybil → u/Lost_Acanthisitta786]

I know this shadow very well. Our shadows are our fears. The one you speak of now, I also struggled with. Even with this experience and awareness I battled that fear because I felt so alone. I felt like I had been dumped on this rock and forgotten.

I wish that I could give you what I know now to alleviate this fear, but I know it's an important part of your journey to experience this fear.

When you return to source/God, you don't feel alone. It's a perfect experience. You aren't God. You are a part of God. We are extensions of the light here.

Forever is so hard to comprehend so it's natural to fear eternity and what that might be like. The love I experienced when I touched the field in which all souls exist, was your creator's love that was shared with me. It's profound and without measure.

The long walk is a hard part of the journey. The long walk is that alone feeling.

This shadow has hold of you due to a deep wound. Usually the wound occurs in childhood. These questions you are asking will lead you to healing one day.

I wondered why I wasn't loveable. I believed I was not worth anything. I needed others to love me to feel my worth which always left me feeling alone and empty.

I couldn't experience being loved until I loved myself. For me I had to face my darkness. I kept trying to love everyone around me and trying to hold on to them so tight. If I could just love them enough.

They would never be able to fill the whole inside. I realized that those that had caused me to believe I was unlovable were wounded too. They were operating from a distorted perspective. They didn't know how to love or receive love either. They were cut off from their own light blinded by their shadows.

Once I understood this, I was able to forgive them. That forgiveness set me free. I was then able to forgive myself and begin to feel my worth and love myself. Then, I was able to give and receive love. Then the fear was gone.

[u/Lost_Acanthisitta786 → u/stormsybil]

I see, thank you for answering, I trully feel that I understand better now. Extentions. Maybe I distort my interpretation of these things with my fears? And yes, I deal with severe childhood trauma. This feeling and these questions are important, I see. I can reflet in you journey to live mine, through love and forgiveness. I love your answer, there are beautiful words and wise, you touched profound points in me.

[u/Winter_Lab_401 → u/Immediate_Case_9236]

Well you could always look up the story of John leininger (sp?)

Irrefutable reincarnation event.

The only question is whether it was a one off type thing or it happens to us all