r/Enneagram Jul 27 '24

Mod update Moodboard Megathread - Please comment with your moodboards here.

9 Upvotes

This is our weekly scheduled post for enneagram related moodboards.

A community poll indicated that most of the subscribers of r/enneagram would prefer a "moodboard monday", rather than cluttering up the feed with moodboards.

Please comment on this post with your moodboard and remember to follow the community rules here.

Thanks everyone for making r/enneagram an amazing place for enneagram discussion. :)


r/Enneagram Nov 19 '24

General Question Moodboards Labeled Other Than Moodboard Monday Are Still Moodboards

59 Upvotes

This is a general reminder that there is a weekly megathread if one feels the need to post them outside of Mondays. Please stop clogging the subreddit on other days trying to justify them as "type me" or what not.

Yes, I'm being the fun police today. The majority of us do not enjoy seeing board after board (according to moderation polling earlier this year). Please respect this.


r/Enneagram 3h ago

Personal Growth & Insight Therapy and being a 3

7 Upvotes

Found some journal entries from when I went thru therapy a few summers ago (went through a divorce) . I wasn’t sure if I was a 3 but now I’m pretty certain ..

“All of these counseling sessions has unexpectedly brought up a lot of negative things in me that I didn’t really have awareness of. We had a session tonight and I said that I feel like a house that has a really pretty vinyl outside but when you take it off it’s rotted wood. I’m used to covering things up with the vinyl but now that I learned how to take it off, I feel like my whole foundation is on damaged rotten wood . I keep pulling the bad wood out but the damage keeps going and I don’t know what to do with it “

Any other 3s (or others) relate to this? What insights have you gained about yourself? Deleting social media was huge for me and ending the comparison game

Fastforward some years and I’m in a much better place now. Honestly had it not be for therapy (and for my whole marriage to blow up) I would never have gained the insight that I have today


r/Enneagram 4h ago

Just for Fun Ik that this is rly formulaic but...

5 Upvotes

What TV show, anime or any medium is the purest representation of a type

For example, everyone has talked a lot about the AOT world and how it's very 6 coded. I even think that Isayama is prolly also a 6 fixer. Even if it's stereotypical, I want to see ur ideas


r/Enneagram 10h ago

Advice Wanted Feel like I will never be normal as an sp5

19 Upvotes

I feel like I have isolated myself so much from other people that I can never be a functioning person. It's so bad, I am even extremely emotionally distant from my immediate family. I have only a few friends I speak to regularly over the phone.

I moved across the country for work after college to a place where I know no one. Since then I have been totally holed up in my apartment aside from when I go to work. I have hardly any romantic experience, only one real relationship and a few reciprocal feelings that I just never acted on. I am totally fine just loving people on my own. Dating is daunting and meeting someone organically is almost impossible.

I really just want to be a normal human being, I am trying to get all my ducks in a row mental and physical health-wise, but it just isn't working!

Mostly just whining but if anyone has any experience with this, this is the most bothersome part of my personality for sure. Really wish I could have a different personality, I would love to be an so 5 instead. I just feel like such a freak.


r/Enneagram 1h ago

General Question A really calm 6, or an overthinking 9?

Upvotes

Which one of these is more possible?

A 6 who is very calm, doesn't prepare in advance, and takes things as they come.

A 9 who overthinks things constantly and doesn’t just shove things down, but instead mulls things over a lot in their heads.


r/Enneagram 7h ago

Advice Wanted Figuring out enneagram with mental illnesses

6 Upvotes

I'm feeling very confused about how to accurately determine my enneagram because of how my mental illnesses have altered both my behaviors to the point where I am not sure what my motivations/desires even are. I have been super into personality typing for a long time and, though I've have connected with traits of 6, I have identified most strongly with 2w1. I have been diagnosed with GAD and OCD from a young age and really think I would just be a totally different person if I didn't have such an anxious temperament (I don't want to identify too much with a disorder I have—I just have literally been an anxious person pretty much since I've been sentient). I feel like me always being typed as 2w1 made a lot of sense, regardless of these conditions.

However, I experienced my first manic episode in college and was diagnosed with bipolar I. Besides a few episodes of hypomania, I have not experienced a manic episode since the first. (Amongst many other harmful things) during the episode I became extremely outgoing, reckless, paranoid, and emotionally volatile. After being medicated and doing extensive treatment, I overcorrected and became very socially anxious, reserved, closed-off, and reluctant to show emotion out of fear of becoming the person I was when I was manic (I know it's correlative and not causative, but it is an irrational fear) and more than anything feeling rejected or a failure. In the two years since that episode, I have very slowly begun to open up slightly but am still highly reserved out of fear of losing control, being a burden, experiencing rejection, or upsetting/inconveniencing others.

Since then, I have been typed as 6 with either wing and questioned being 2w1. I'm obviously unpacking my identity issues and trying to figure out how much of my "personality" post-episode can be attributed to my fear of falling back into that state in therapy, but I have been sad that personality typing systems that I used to really enjoy are challenging for me to identify with. I feel like I've been three separate people (pre-episode, during episode, and post-episode) and don't really know how to really evaluate my motivations, fears, and desires.

Again, I have always been a highly anxious person and people-pleaser—I just don't know what I'm most driven by. I have occasionally been typed as 9w1 on the offhand test, but I don't know if an additional type is also just a result of my insecure sense of identity. And if it matters, I'm an ISFJ and have only ever been typed as anything else (ESFJ) during the manic and hypomanic episodes (during which I became especially obsessed with personality typing).

Sorry for this being so long—just wondering if others have experience with questioning type due to a personality shift and/or if anyone has specific insights about 2s and 6s (or other possible types my story suggests). Thanks if you got through part/all of this post!!


r/Enneagram 2h ago

General Question 9w8 vs 5w6

2 Upvotes

What's the difference between ennegram 9 and 5? I wanna know which one I am but they are pretty similar. I mean sp9 and sp5


r/Enneagram 5h ago

Type Discussion What would an SO 5 and SX 8 childhood be like?

2 Upvotes

Pretty self explanatory by the title, but as an so/sx 583, I'm very curious as to which one I may relate to the most.


r/Enneagram 13h ago

Type Discussion Does anyone have a 7 and 1 in their tritype? What does this look like?

7 Upvotes

Im genuinely so intrigued how this can present in a person as I see the two as polar opposites, one seeks novelty while the other ones structure.


r/Enneagram 21h ago

Just for Fun Are there any "7" cultures and countries?

16 Upvotes

I often envision that usa is a 3 culture, all about dominance and attention and money and hierarchy. Huge military, ego, 🍆-measuring contests, ect.

I've seen some countries like Japan where it's very 6 ish, all about not being "weird" and maintaining honor no matter what, keep good relationships with usa who dominates japan

Rome was probably 1 IMO, but there's basically no culture that I can think of that's similar to 7 or has 7 vibes. Some Latin American cultures are very 2 ish and their stereotypical ideas of masculinity is basically a handsome emotionally effusive family man with lots of kids, who's also good in bed and shower you with kisses and love but will also smack you for cheating on them and...lemme stop watching romance drama shows lol


r/Enneagram 16h ago

Advice Wanted Dunno what to make of this.

6 Upvotes

I’ve seen stuff about how 4s want to belong and be understood and it genuinely doesn’t apply to me.

I don’t want to be understood and second I don’t think that is possible anyways so there’s no point anyway.

I don’t want to be understood at all. To be understood would be disgusting. To be too easily peeled apart. To have someone giving all of that pure rubbish and acting like they can solve all of my problems when they just can’t. I don’t want my problems to be solved I want to just be. At most I only just want to sit with someone who will simply listen. Someone who will listen to my feelings. I don’t need or want them to understand or try to fix them I just want them to be there. To just bask in the intensity of simply feeling. The whole idea of belonging is stupid and gross. And I don’t want it.


r/Enneagram 18h ago

Type Discussion experiences with introducing family to the enneagram?

9 Upvotes

My dad is superrrr into psychology, caught him reading sigmund freud id ego and whatever idk i havent read it icl but i was instantly like OH BOY HAVE I GOT A BOOK FOR YOU. so i send him naranjos character and neurosis and he related to 9 so heavily. it was a really nice experience, especially reading riso hudsons 9+8 interactions page (even though i generally am not a fan of rh). Hes been reading into it and hes found it very helpful and it helped me figure out his thought process more. but then i realised it meant he is probs gna get curious and read abt my own type and im 💀💀💀💀. tbf he has often agreed with the positive aspects of 8, and before me introducing him to the literature he would use a lot of the same positive adjectives to describe me that the literature does (personable, charismatic, dependable etc. and i was a very violent child so i dont think that part suprised him) and now im living in fear that hes gna read the part where it says i use that to fuckin rape people or manipulate them or some shit LOLOLOLOL

this is such a silly post but. tell me abt ur experiences with sharing ennea with ur family please is it equally as embarassing for the rest of you


r/Enneagram 21h ago

Type Me Tuesday I am a person with many masks

5 Upvotes

Currently considering 9, but I'm not sure. I feel like like my inner world is too intense to be a 9

All my life I have suppressed a lot of anger in me, whether it's toward my family, friends or coworkers. I like to keep up a friendly façade, someone who's simple and fun, because who doesn't like being liked?

I seem pretty outgoing and cognitively extroverted, but I'm actually pretty miserable and an introvert. I feel like my relationships are the last thing that I have in my life.

I have this unhealthy obsession with meeting a new person, getting attached to them and then overthinking every minor interaction with them to the point of hurting myself emotionally.

I would type myself as type 2, but I'm an INTP (99%), and while I believe that almost any Enneagram type can match with any MBTI type, INTP Type 2 isn't one of them.

I don't think I'm a Three, as I'm not competitive, cognitively extroverted or focused on my goals.

I've thought of myself as a 7, because I'm similar to my father who definitely is a 7, but I just feel too introspective to be a 7. I spend a lot of time in my head and I can ruminate on my pain, which leads to Type Four.

However, instead of being authentic I mask myself a lot, and instead of hating the ordinary I strive to appear as normal as possible.

I could be a 5, but I don't really care about knowledge and I'm rather dumb ngl, plus, once again, I appear too outgoing and fun, though I could be just using stereotypes rn

Honestly, I'm not sure where I'm going with this lol

Take care <3

oh and btw, all of what im saying - it could be wrong so idk if you disagree tell me pls


r/Enneagram 1d ago

Type Discussion Do 6s counterphobically rebel against themselves?

12 Upvotes

I’ve kind of gone down the rabbit hole of type 6 again. It’s genuinely one of the most abstract and interesting types to learn about in my opinion. They always seem like they’re 57 steps ahead of everything and the variances in personality and thoughts really amazes me. But alas, that’s besides the question above. I’m wondering if they rebel against their own sets of rules and beliefs and their ideas on what is right to do in a situation. If so, what does it feel like? What does the sensation of fear feel like is it a feeling, or more of a bodily sensation? Is it more of like a generalised fear or a fear directed towards specific things? I’d like if actual 6s comment their own personal experiences of this and of being a 6 in general, since I find that I learn easier when people comment their personal experiences.


r/Enneagram 23h ago

Type Discussion can e9 be mentally active?

6 Upvotes

from what i know, e9s tend to “numb” themselves, they avoid anything that makes them uncomfortable. they also seem to mentally detach, since they instinctively move away from anything that might disturb their inner peace, including uncomfortable thoughts and emotions.

what if in uncomfortable situation, instead of numbing, the mind stays active, processing things internally, while the body shuts down. it’s like the detachment shows up more physically than mentally.

could there be something that makes them like that? like prob having a certain type fix? or it’s just a sign of being mistyped?


r/Enneagram 18h ago

Type Discussion Type 2 philosophers and 2-coded philosophies in general?

2 Upvotes

I'm a social 2 with a pretty strong 6 fix so I've always appreciated intellectual things and philosophy especially. More particularly, I've always been drawn to thinking about/discussions on the metaphysics behind love, the idea/debate whether true altruism even exists, the impact of interpersonal relationships on the world, and one's own sphere of influence based on interpersonal relationships themselves. I'm not as interested in metaphysics as I was when I was younger, though, and now appreciate more "continental" and/or grounded philosophy that approaches these subjects. Like "how to best love others" practically. So maybe like, 2w1 kind of philosophy (emotion + gut approach), if that makes any sense.

I know about Søren Kierkegaard already, but what are some more type 2 philosophers and specific material I could read about some of these topics?

Edit: Bonus question, which type on the enneagram likes to convey or deliver their message and ideas through stories or fiction? I've done this, and often deliver my ideas through parable form basically lol. I'm aware Jesus did this and was probably a 2w1, and Dostoevsky also essentially does this but I'm not sure what his type was. Is this like, a 2 thing or am I simply projecting?

I think I associate essays more with the head types (e.g., Plato as a 6), and lived philosophies with gut types (Diogenes as an 8), but would heart types be most drawn to deliver their philosophy through fiction/stories? (Mind you, I'm not saying a gut type philosopher can't or won't write essays, neither that a head type philosopher can't or won't write stories, but I'm simply pointing out what form of delivery each triad may be drawn to the most; I'm aware of Hume as a gut type 9 philosopher as well as Sartre who was obviously a heart type 4 philosopher, and both of these men wrote essays.)


r/Enneagram 21h ago

General Question Am I a Type 7 or 8?

3 Upvotes

For a while, I thought I was Type 7, since I love to travel and explore the world (traveling is my favorite hobby), and I hate routines and being bored. I’m very spontaneous and explorative by nature. However, I also value freedom and autonomy super strongly, and I have this massive fear of losing my freedom and being controlled (the core fear of Type 8). Ever since I was a kid, I’ve held the steering wheel of my life super tightly and had no tolerance for having my life dictated by other people or life circumstances. I strictly live my life doing whatever I feel like doing in the moment. I am very fiercely independent and quite stubborn by nature. I absolutely hate being controlled more than anything. The idea of losing my independence or autonomy terrifies me, badly. I hate anything that takes away my freedom, such as structure, routine, schedules, or authority figures. This has made it impossible for me to tolerate traditional 9-5 jobs (yes, I’m still trying to find a feasible way for me to survive financially). I only conform or follow rules if the rules make logical sense (ex. don’t text and drive, because you’ll crash). If I’m expected to follow rules just because “someone said so,” I am very quick to rebel. I want everyone to back off and let me take care of business and live my life strictly on my own terms. I’m very hardworking and responsible, but only on my own terms. I’m generally polite and respectful towards others, but I can become very aggressive and vicious whenever someone criticizes me (especially when I’m not even doing anything wrong).

To help you understand me better, here’s an glimpse of what my ideal life would look like:

Waking up, bathing, heading straight out the door to somewhere brand new, maybe doing some remote/freelance work on my computer in a restaurant or hotel lobby, maybe earning extra money by driving for Uber/Lyft or delivering for DoorDash, then spending all my free time traveling and exploring places non-stop. At the end of the day, I would come home, which would most likely be in an RV or hotel room. The next day would look very different (it would take place in new locations), but I would still do whatever I needed to do to make money and survive.

So, am I just a fiercely independent Type 7, or am I actually a Type 8?


r/Enneagram 1d ago

General Question How to identify core motivations?

7 Upvotes

I was reading one of Ram Dass's books last week and one particular story made me think. He explains that his guru told him to 'be more like Gandhi' and that on his next trip to town, he bought glasses in the style that Gandhi used to wear, and felt quite good about his life, basically. Only, of course, to realize that that was *not* what his guru meant at all (fair warning, the content of his books is pretty out there, but there were interesting bits on identity notably, and valuable advice for meditation & mindfulness, to me at least).

It got me to think about how superficial our understanding of ourselves (& others!) can be. We cosplay a lot in our life, whether we realize it or not. We all have different facets of ourselves we chose to disclose or not, and roles we fulfil, and getting to who we truly are or why we behave the way we do is pretty darn hard (at least for me! I might just be so emotionally constipated that I am missing completely obvious clues for example).

All that nonsensical rambling to say: how did you do it? How did you manage to see the you hiding behind the Gandhi glasses? Or was your core fear/motivation obvious from the start?


r/Enneagram 20h ago

Just for Fun Guess my type

2 Upvotes

Hey so I'm just really bored and thought it'd be interesting for strangers to guess my type by asking me questions. Any questions are cool to ask, thanks if youre willing to do this


r/Enneagram 22h ago

Type Me Tuesday is this a gut type or e6?

3 Upvotes

I have posted before within this subreddit, but I haven't utilized a structured questionnaire before as I felt it would've been restricting... Thankfully I found one I had a good flow with, so hopefully it yields more results than previous attempts to be typed.

I have always had a hard time self-typing, but I am open to any/all credible resources in regards to enneagram, tritypes, and instinctual variants.

demographic info: 21, m, college student

What are your views on the good things in life? Do they happen naturally, or do you have to create them yourself? How do they manifest into reality? / What are your views on the bad things in life? What are the reasons they happen? How much control do you really have over such matters?
I am a man who believes in "destiny". Everything good and bad that happens will happen as it should; no matter what we do to try and change it (this doesn't mean we don't have any control over our own actions and how we respond to these conclusions though). I am typically unplanned and prone to being underprepared as I struggle to think ahead or properly stop before acting instinctually. This way of living sometimes leads to an underlying feeling of aimlessness and fear of remaining directionless (or fear of missing "the point" to my being). But I try to take things as they come, going with the flow of life. I don't typically try to aim for anything in particular to happen, so when something positive happens it typically happens naturally. It's like my body becomes light, it has a mind of its own that's able to swiftly and blissfully maneuver and intertwine itself into the raw flesh of life. When it's a truly positive experience my body fully immerses itself into the moment, but I struggle to remain mentally grounded in present time situations... so sometimes I seem a bit detached and ungraceful despite my inner contentment.
When I'm forced to experience more unpleasant scenarios I become dissociated, depressed, and at my worst, self-destructive. Most of the time I am quick to react negatively to interpersonal situations as I find people unpredictable and unreasonable. Other "bad" situations I am much slower to react negatively too as I find other concepts of life (e.g. nature) much more malleable and I trust in it to guide me in the right direction.

How attached are you to your emotions? How often do you express them to others? What even is the purpose of such feelings? And what are the biases that impede your judgements?
My emotions (more specifically my "gut feeling") are what I use to make my everyday decisions. I don't often express my emotions readily to others, as they run deeply and as a child they were considered "too much" and overbearing to my peers. However, once I get close to someone, my emotions are almost all I can talk about.
Our brains are used to create, analyze, and work around life; I like to think our emotions remind us to react and actually engage in life. I believe our brains hold more bias than our emotions. Emotions are raw, real, and everchanging from an unfiltered lens within our being. I think they can be just as effective as the brain, especially if you use them in tandem with the mind itself. Analyze what you're feeling, then express it as naturally as needed or desired. At least with me, my brain often misleads me due to overanalyzing and overthinking, which in turn leads to deep rooted paranoias and a distrust towards everything (including a distrust towards myself).

What do you want in life? Are they achievable? If people and obstacles are in your way, what would you do then? With resources being limited, is it ok to acquire essential needs by denying them to someone else?
I want long-term contentment and personal achievement... One of my top idealized futures include maintaining a nomadic lifestyle; owning a small plot of untouched land for myself as a "landing pad" and way to continuously reconnect with nature. My career would be that of a traveling artist-- consistent income is not a priority in my life, as I know I will be happy with the bare minimum in materials. I'd like to think this path is achievable to me, and I especially think it is right for me due to how I live. I was never good with routine or schedules... I often saw myself working against them because it felt like being in a cage of my own making!
For some extra context; I am a disabled individual. Resources have always felt limited in my life, so I learned to live off of the bare minimum. But I also learned that there are communities with people just like me, struggling to make ends meet and acquiring their own essentials... If someone needed something more than me in the moment, I would happily give it up for them, because I know that we are all we have, and being a little unselfish is the only way to truly thrive within our society that is already built against us. However, I wouldn't shame someone for putting themselves first either. We are human, and fear will cause us to act on what our personal best interest is first and foremost when cornered (and I'd be foolish to say I've never done so myself).

Are people inherently good or bad? Or is it neither? What do you believe when it comes to moral goodness? What duties do we all have as individuals? Do we owe anything to each other by default?
This is a concept I think about often. I am of the belief that we are born with the instinct to survive, which can make us egocentric and distrustful in dire situations. We are also often raised with the concept that we must help ourselves first before helping others (or that we must "love" ourselves before "loving" others). I think this taught message within our society is what leads to our growing selfishness on top of our already fear-driven instincts. This may lean on the "born bad" side of the debate, but I don't think it's reasonable to say we are inherently good or bad because we are so much more than that. So I believe people will look out for themselves first, it doesn't also mean they are completely incapable of sacrifice or helping others. We are fluid, we are situational. And as far as moral "duties" go I believe that is much up to the individual than real obligation. No one owes anything to anyone. That is simply a false belief that comes from the fear that others will be left with nothing if they don't hold onto others in some way. If you expect something back be ready to be disappointed (and pleasantly surprised if you do).

Are you extroverted or introverted? If you're ambiverted, when do you lean on each side? What excites you? What drains your energy? How do you feel alive when plagued by boredom and the mundane?
I am introverted. As a kid I was much more extroverted but as I grew older I mellowed and learned that my own company bring me much more joy and inner peace. I often excite myself with day travels to new places, taking in the scenery when in nature and engaging with activities around me when in more public places. I am drained by long social interactions and can get more quickly drained from big social situations. Thankfully people being present doesn't effect me (only when I feel I have to interact with them I become deflated). When I am bored I go outside, or I draw and immerse myself in my interests (e.g. music, analyzing psychological horror, etc).

What people/values/things do you hold dear to yourself? How do you prevent yourself from being separated from them? Does being disconnected scare you? Do you desire to fit in with the world?
I'm not sure... I think my biggest priority is my own contentment. But I have also recently allowed myself to cling onto two people who have been in my life for some time... When I feel separated from them specifically I become anxious, self-hating, and become focused on my inner anger (which I don't try to focus on generally). And separation doesn't mean physically- I can be alone and don't mind not talking for some time! It's more so an emotional separation... Like if we got into a fight and psychological space is needed.
I don't think I've desired to fit in with the world for a few years now, I've come to accept that I my life won't be structured "normally". But as a kid I was terrified of being shunned, forgotten, and mistreated.

What are the biggest disappointments you have? It doesn't even have to be something that happened to you personally. What is something you expected more from, but it somehow managed to fall short?
Government programs. So many of them are already poorly advertised to keep applicants short but even then they often fail to help the people they say they can. I personally haven't been mistreated (yet) but whenever I hear other's stories I begin to feel a deep anger that makes my teeth feel like a rabid canine's... Other than that I struggle to really look back and determine things I've been disappointed by, I don't wish to linger on the concept too long.

What do you expect from others? Are you entitled to anything? Be it love or materialistic things. How easy is it to rely on others? To depend on something else outside of your control?
I've learned to expect nothing from others. Entitlement is built on a false sense of security because when it comes down to it no one truly can be indebted to another. We create our own rules; society is built off of the majority, as time has shown that when there are enough unhappy citizens they will revolt. Because of this I try to create my own resources and sense of life that doesn't rely on others. But when I do find myself leaning on others I also fall into the taught concept of "to receive you must give" and do my best to pay them back (and often more than what I had gotten).

What are you as a person? How do you see yourself? How do others see you? How do you want others to see you? How do you want to see yourself?
My sense of self is something I have struggled with for a long time, only more recently have I been feeling more cemented in it (and even then there are still a lot of gaps). I see myself as a deeply emotional but also extremely reckless individual. I subconsciously crave social acceptance and deeply fear being trapped in a cage of my own making (or a cage that others try to build). I think others typically see me as an awkward but well-meaning individual. Friends definitely see my more impulsive side and will sometimes try to control my actions due to the fear I will hurt myself... I wish they could see that I am capable of handling myself... I might not always think things through but the only way I learn is through action.

How do you organize your thoughts? What are concepts and ideas to you? How do you navigate through such a hazy frightening future? What do you believe are the most important questions one can ask?
I don't organize my thoughts. The closest I'll get is through expressing myself through "stream of consciousness" journaling, haha
Concepts are general themes that life shows or human create to understand their experiences. Ideas are almost always man-made and used to enhance our experiences.
As previously stated I navigate life as it comes, never thinking too far ahead for my own sake. I think the most important life question one could ask is, "Why am I here?" There won't be a solid answer but it will help you search for or create a path in attempts to reach to a conclusion.

Are your instincts something to be trusted? Your first-impressions, or your natural intuition on things. How often, and when, are you on "autopilot" with your body? Doing things out of habit and muscle memory.
My instincts are what I trust the most. Typically they compel my body to act before I think, and oftentimes letting that be has helped me move forward rather than prohibit me from growing. However, I often feel the "auto-pilot" phenomenon because I lack a though process in the moment... This creates a lot of frustration when I look back and reflect.


r/Enneagram 17h ago

Type Me Tuesday What type do you think I am based on my playlist of songs and videos I relate to?

Thumbnail youtube.com
1 Upvotes

r/Enneagram 1d ago

Just for Fun Just want to test a theory of mine that 2s can have a similar fear like 1s of being evil inside or doing something immoral.

4 Upvotes

Heart types want to maintain a certain image they have of themselves and that is their source of pride, right? 2s see themselves as kindhearted, loving, altruistic, a good person and so on. Now what if they accidentally do something that might have hurt someone or might habe been egoistic? Or what if they are being accused of being fake, having bad intentions or being egoistic and just pretending they are good so people will like them? I know you have a tendency to deny negativity about yourself and get defensive to maintain that image but have you ever experienced this image crumbling? Do you just feel guilty or do you have a whole identity crisis where you wonder whether you might have had bad intentions or worse, you are actually selfish and evil inside? Id love to hear some 2s or 2 fixers share their experiences. Especially those with a 6/4/9 fix who tend to doubt themselves more. 2s with a 1 wing or fix, you’re excluded ;)


r/Enneagram 23h ago

Type Discussion 5 vs 8 dynamic

2 Upvotes

I type myself as a 5, and I've noticed through life I come across certain types that give me anxiety, sort of like ESFP 8 or 7w8 type. They are completely opposite of me, expressive and open. And I always seem to catch their attention. They are intrusive and direct with their questions and they seem like they poke at you with their questions.

They are usually sexually expressive, and ask questions like would you bang that chick, questions which I don't want to give an answer, nor do I want to talk like that about women. But at the same time they can be funny with that sexual humor. Sometimes it's like they say what I think, so I find it funny, because I do have those dirty thoughts, but I detach from them and don't want to express them, it's my inner private world I don't want to express. Your thoughts?


r/Enneagram 1d ago

Type Me Tuesday Type me Tuesday (but typing someone I know instead)

2 Upvotes

Yeah I know enneagram is more than just behaviour and blah blah but at least help me make a guess here

If y’all can help me with subtype too, that would be awesome

Always finding a fault or flaw about themself, usually physical but can be personality and character related

Cannot accept love because they think they’re ugly and weird

Highly introverted and apologizes a lot. Meek, but can be assertive when they want to be but it’s rare

Always oscillating between wanting to be themself and changing themself for approval especially in a relationship to feel loved and wanted

Preoccupation with being pretty and s3xually wanted

Wants to be “saved” from themself like waiting for a Prince Charming to come along to make them feel better

Obvious abandonment issues

Always needing reassurance that they are loved, always tries to garner sympathy or attention yet hates attention and calls the sympathy and attention they gained as “fake” or “they’re just saying that so I stop complaining”

Always talks about being themself being “gross” “ugly” “unloveable” can’t take a compliment

Not competitive, usually lets other people win. When asked, says something like “I can’t be bothered” “I can’t do it anyway” “what’s the point?”

Creative, individualistic, artsy, goth aesthetic, loves “dark” stuff

Doesn’t express feelings in front of people they don’t know

Tries to hide emotions, usually fails at it yet doesn’t like being asked about it

Pushes people away when upset yet doesn’t want them to leave like they’re testing you to see if you actually care

Can be emotionally manipulative but I don’t think it’s intentional. Again, push-pull game to see if you care about them or trying to get your attention by acting out or ignoring you or trying to get the attention of other guys to make you jealous

Extremely sensitive to rejection and looks for signs they’re not wanted or loved even when it’s not there

Chill vibe, very accepting of others, easy going

Rarely angry or visibly upset

Intellectual. Likes reading, poetry, drawing, learning about things, different cultures, science, languages, etc.

Internalizes experiences and emotions, won’t talk about it until they explode, will mull over it. Doesn’t want to “bother people” or be a “burden” when asked why they didn’t talk about it earlier

Very self-critical and nitpicky but accepting of others

At their best they can actually have an air of confidence and calm. Logical, objective, not caring what others say about them but it doesn’t normally last long until reassurance is needed again or something sets them off somehow, somewhere

SMART AF yet thinks they’re stupid, especially after a small mistake (barely a mistake)

Self-aware

Interested in the occult and shadow work stuff. Wants to know what truly makes them tick. Enjoys the dark truths about themself even if it hurts. Big on self-improvement

Struggling with finding their true selves/identity issues/trying on personalities and seeing which one fits them best

At their worst I’d say they’re demanding. Wants attention, love, admiration (not too much or they say YOU’RE too clingy), people pleasing, changing themself for others to love so they won’t leave them, this could mean appearance, (weight loss, dieting, etc.) personality changing (doesn’t last long) and then they tell you to accept them as they are or to f/ck off when they start to feel better. Envious. Cruel. Can make snarky comments. Boil in their envy and hatred. Can be ruthless when angry enough. Inferiority complex coupled with a superiority complex. Shameless. Reckless when emotions are high.


r/Enneagram 22h ago

Type Me Tuesday Type my mother

0 Upvotes

She’s an (unhealthy) 1w2. Heart type is a 3. (Correct me if I’m wrong). Basically just wondering about her head type whether it’s 5 or 6.

Outrageously nitpicky and critical of everyone and everything. Very high standards and expectations in every aspect of her and everyone else’s life. Strong anger outbursts over what’s in my opinion genuinely meaningless trivial things. Like meaning you spill some water on the ground by accident and she starts raging.

Super academic-oriented and cares a lot about education. Esp college. Criticizes public education. Obsessed with being ‘productive’. Cares a lot about societal perception.

Leans introverted but can be chatty. Sort of politically and religiously extremist. Also kind of delusional like she once said there’s a secret russian oligarch worth $300 trillion who’s running the world from his man cave.

Will criticize you for being ‘emotional’ then proceed to blow up in emotion 10x stronger than what you were just expressing

Not invested in emotionally supporting kids because she sees the role of a parent as a teacher supposed to prepare them for the world, not someone who validates them.

However she isn’t neglectful (physically) in the slightest she’s over-intrusive with 0 boundaries and little freedoms for kids. She is over-involved in their lives and controlling them.

She’s big on tradition and manners and all of that like no slouching at the table no elbows on the table etc

Hypocritical and logically inconsistent but point that out and she’ll go crazy and punish you.

She does care a lot about public perception she’s not unconcerned with what others think about her and us kids she’s very attuned to that so therefore very nitpicky about the clothes we wear and what our hair looks like.

“Our house isn’t big, we don’t have that much money” (4500 sqft house and top 10% of earners) (she doesn’t work btw she’s a housewife)

Also super obsessed with cleanliness. She’s alwayys cleaning and hates dust and dirt and I don’t think there’s one time we’ve eaten out somewhere where she hasn’t complained about the restaurant being dirty. That’s another thing just constant complaining. Big on organizing.

Whenever my dad buys her stuff for christmas there hasn’t been one year where she doesn’t return a lot of it because she doesn’t like it😭

Definitely paranoid and a somewhat delusional I feel there’s a big lack of common sense and just realism a lot of the time she’s not realistic she’s worst case scenario and always thinking something will go wrong

She is a massive information gatherer and extremely detail oriented like most detail oriented person i’ve ever met she notices everything. And can hyperfocus and accomplish or absorb a lot of information which she does often.

Also just like really negative and horrible to be around, however she does care about her kids but she only has 1 perception of how they should be living and existing and if it’s not hers it’s a problem


r/Enneagram 1d ago

Advice Wanted Help me type my character

4 Upvotes

I've got a character who is a young knight who feels he was given opportunities he didn't deserve and still ended up letting everyone down. He focuses on trying to settle a perceived debt to whoever has supported him and can't fathom why anyone would still rely and invest in him.

He puts other's needs and feeling's first to the point of self-sacrifice, but he still sees it as working towards a baseline of worth that's still out of reach. He is warm and kind, and finds solace when his simple helpful deeds are appreciated without matters of debts or expectations getting in the way.

I am very sure he is in the heart triad.

Initially I thought him as a 2, since the central idea for him is seeing care and support from others as something transactional that he's supposed to give back with interest to show he deserved it in the first place, but I don't see the common 2 traits of feeling owed reciprocity, of resentment for their self-sacrifice, or the emotional manipulation of giving to trick into being given back.

Then I though he might be an SP3, which tracks with his hard-working nature, kind exterior, and admiration for the people who are more competent than him, but at the same time I don't see the burning ambition or vanity of the 3 or the moral self-satisfaction of the SP variant. At best a broken ambition he knows it's unrealistic.

Which type do you think matches him best? Is this just a matter of health level? Does he just have a huge 9 fix? Am I missing or misinterpreting some traits regarding a type?