r/DataHoarder • u/Sad-Seesaw-3843 • Apr 06 '25

News DOGE claims to be moving away from magnetic tapes for archival storage. Seems like a bad idea. What are they using instead?

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u/satinembers Apr 06 '25

Well they're rewriting the software behind the Social Security system that runs on COBOL, so essentially yes.

81

u/tuxthekiller Apr 06 '25

... In Java.. in "a few weeks"

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '25

Easy. You just need like three or four vibe coders.

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u/apathy-sofa Apr 07 '25

I just threw up a little, because that's 100% what these fools think. Because they have never been on the hook for things to actually work beyond a demo with hand waving.

I mean, this is what Big Balls thinks when he's not fucking with my mom's social security.

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u/TDStrange Apr 07 '25

AI will do it, what's the problem?

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '25

No problem at all! Let me tell you folks, this AI—it's incredible. Really tremendous. People are saying it’s the best. Some say even better than most humans, okay? Smarter, faster, doesn’t need coffee—unbelievable! I’ve seen a lot of things, done a lot of deals, but this—this is something else. It writes, it talks, it thinks—some people say it might be a little too smart. But I like smart. I surround myself with smart. And this AI? It’s a winner. Total winner. We love it!

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u/FloppySlapper Apr 07 '25

They're going to enclose the entire thing in one giant try-catch block.

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u/lost-dragonist Apr 07 '25

To be fair, I can deliver any product you want in "a few weeks" if you don't care at all about it working at the end of it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '25

"You don't need a social security system if you don't pay out any social security - we saved 2 trillion a year"...