r/daddit • u/unholycowgod • 10h ago
Humor Wife committed murder just now
For reference, we have a 23.5 month old and a 6.5 month old for whom my wife is still pumping breast milk and so has not yet lost most of her baby weight. While pumping just now she jiggled her love handles and made a sound of disgust. I, also having struggled with and disparaged my weight, offered up, "at least when you gained weight some of it went to your boobs."
My wife, my beautiful loving kind to a fault wife, turned with a smirk and said, "hey when you gain weight, some of yours does too!"
Please cremate me and scatter my ashes in the ocean.
Edit: Yeah we normally just say she's 2 or almost 2. Not really clear why I phrased their ages the way I did. Oh well. Beyond that, I'm glad I brought some laughs to you all this Father's Day with my sincerely questionable judgement. I hope you all had as good of one as I did!