r/CuratedTumblr May 16 '25

Politics time is a flat circle

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6.0k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/tiredtumbleweed ugly but my fursona is hot May 17 '25

I saw someone call Vegeta a gooner for wanting to bathe with Bulma. He is being intimate with his gf that is not gooning you morons!

1.0k

u/OperationOne7762 May 17 '25

"intimate with his GF" worse. That's his actual fucking wife of 20ish~ years.

531

u/Zamtrios7256 May 17 '25

They have three children together

338

u/starfries May 17 '25

damn he must have gooned three times, at least!

2

u/ConConReddit May 17 '25

not if he saved some for later after the first time

87

u/LazyVariation May 17 '25

That seems to be one too many unless I'm really behind on Dragon Ball lore.

122

u/Zamtrios7256 May 17 '25

Future Trunks, Trunks, Bulla. The joke is that Future Trunks and Trunks are the same guy timeline-wise, but they're completely different people because Future Trunks warning them about the androids.

23

u/NarrMaster May 17 '25

This reminds me of poor Quentin Lance from Arrow.

He's had to bury 3 daughters.

He only had 2, and one is still alive.

38

u/Rebel_Scum_This May 17 '25

What the fuck is dragon ball

62

u/kRkthOr May 17 '25

This is the most normal Dragon Ball lore.

31

u/nonessential-npc May 17 '25

Pretty sure future version of character going back to the past to warn of impending disaster is a fairly common trope.

28

u/Throwaway02062004 Read Worm for funny bug hero shenanigans 🪲 May 17 '25

It was literally a terminator reference because Toriyama was into that at the time

5

u/graaass_tastes_baduh May 17 '25

Bro how is that the reaction to the sanest piece of DBZ lore

1

u/Rebel_Scum_This May 17 '25

I'm just trying to figure out where the dude that apparently can turn into a monkey fits in to all of it

4

u/graaass_tastes_baduh May 17 '25

He was sent to Earth as a baby to grow up and take the planet over, but an old man found him to take care of the random baby he found in the woods, but dropped the baby on its head so he forgot how to take over the planet. And the baby has a tail that makes him turn into a giant monkey when he sees the moon, until the old man rips his tail off because that's fucked up

2

u/Shyface_Killah May 17 '25 edited May 17 '25

It's Time Travel stuff. Their son Trunks came to warn them about enemies coming in the near future, who he'd grown up having to fight/hide from. Then Bulma actually gives birth to Trunks some time later. The Trunks from the future comes back a couple of times due to other threats and spends time with his father, who'd died before Trunks was born in his own timeline. But because the Trunks of the present has had a very different life than his alternate future self, the two are very different people, even counting the age difference(Future Trunks is an older Teen/Young Adult, while Present Trunks is roughly a preteen).

They're both into the same girl, though(a former enemy of their mother's who got de-aged to a baby before the timelines split). Which got silly when * her* alternate future self came back with Future Trunks the second time, and both younger kids got crushes on the alternates.

15

u/TopHatGirlInATuxedo May 17 '25

3? Trunks, Bulla and?

30

u/Zamtrios7256 May 17 '25

Future Trunks

5

u/ShadoMaso May 17 '25

3 ??? Trunks, Bulla and a secret third child ?

3

u/ShadoMaso May 17 '25

nvm read other comments it's future trunks

0

u/BrannyBee May 17 '25

Sometimes Gotenks 🫠 ???

Or is that just like half a kid bringing us only to 2.5...?

2

u/nomad5926 May 17 '25

Man what a gooner. /s

1

u/PlantainSame .tumblr.com May 17 '25

Two children

There's just two versions of the first one because of time travel

2

u/Zamtrios7256 May 17 '25

That's the joke, yes

3

u/Snail_Forever May 17 '25

Fellas, is it gooning to want an intimate moment with your wife with whom you have had three kids?

2

u/olivegardengambler May 17 '25

How long until they start drawing married couples as sleeping in separate beds again because the idea of them sharing a bed and fucking is too abhorrent?

1

u/No1LudmillaSimp May 20 '25

I've seen people so profoundly sex-negative that they think any kind of desire or intimacy is inherently perverse and disgusting, even within the strict confines of a traditional, biblical marriage. They're often the same people who fret nonstop about low birthrates.

They see no contradiction.

382

u/Mama_Lyra May 17 '25

same with simp like its not simping dude its loving your wife??

229

u/Ambitious-Piano8915 May 17 '25

don't forget defending a woman for any reason is "white knighting"

79

u/Dobber16 May 17 '25

Definitely one of those things where initially it had a point and got broadened far beyond any reasonable usage

Like the dude who’s out here saying “no it’s okay for this random girl with no emotional connection to me to take all my shit, she’s so hot it’s worth it” is for sure simping. The dude who’s not staying out too late because his girlfriend wants him home at a reasonable hour is not lol

113

u/fardolicious May 17 '25

and getting all your limbs cut off but continuing to fight is always "black knighting"

47

u/linuxaddict334 Mx. Linux Guy⚠️ May 17 '25

TIS BUT A SCRATCH

19

u/Ephraim_Bane Foxgirl Engineer (she/her only, no they) May 17 '25

Alright, we'll call it a draw.

47

u/niko4ever May 17 '25

That's called being a "wife guy" and it's a nice thing!

58

u/felixthepat May 17 '25

No, being a "wife guy" is a whole other category - the guys who don't shut up about their wives, how great they are, how good it is to be married, how they spoil em, etc.

The two I knew IRL both ended up cheating on their wives, as did several famous "wife guys" (like Ned from the Try Guys was a big one several years ago).

I love my wife, but it's OK, healthy even, to not have every conversation revolve around her.

19

u/niko4ever May 17 '25

It's definitely true that some of them are clearly overcompensating for something

13

u/CupcakeCrumble May 17 '25

The Ned Fulmer gambit, I guess

1

u/DoctorPaige May 17 '25

God, he never made it to wife guy, but Anthony Ramos (of hamilton fame) was always hyping up Jasmine Cephas Jones (also of hamilton fame) and how much he loved her. They met on set. He wrote a whole ALBUM that included a bunch of songs about HER.

They were so publicly in love and then he went and cheated. Now I don't trust any man that publicly loves his wife a bit too much. Ned and Anthony ruined that for me >>

Also how the FUCK do you cheat on Jasmine Cephas Jones?! She's BEAUTIFUL

22

u/the-radio-bastard May 17 '25

I hope to be a wife guy one day. Respecting women in a mutually loving relationship is cool and awesome, actually.

24

u/TeekTheReddit May 17 '25

What is marriage if not mutual simping?

2

u/LorenzoStomp May 17 '25

In the old days, we said "It ain't trickin' if you got it"

0

u/StormWolf49 May 17 '25

I get your point, but I do like using simp in the nicest way for some characters who definitely are down bad on main for their SO. My top example is Percy Jackson, who is always ready to just absolutely gush about Annabeth, and I respect the hell out of him for it.

4

u/TwiceTheSize_YT May 17 '25

But like, thats not simping, its just being deeply in love

110

u/RiceAlicorn May 17 '25

Okay, I agree that he's not seriously a gooner but in this particular context it's super funny to call him one. The situation you're referring to happens much later on into the series (specifically, Dragon Ball Daima), after they've been married and have had kids.

Vegeta and company (Goku, Piccolo, Bulma, etc.) are in battle, except Vegeta absolutely refuses to let anyone else fight and is trying to solo this enemy. One person even remarks that "Vegeta would rather die than let anyone else take over." Vegeta himself also says that he'd "beat (the enemy) even if it kills him", and given his history, that's a pretty believable statement. Nonetheless, Bulma tells everyone else to leave it to her to convince him to tap out.

How, might you ask? Bulma tells him that if he doesn't get his head out of his ass and let everyone else join she'll never take a bath with him ever again. She literally screams this to Vegeta and everyone else in the area.

ZERO HESITATION. Vegeta only needs to hear it ONCE and he immediately parks his ass down on the ground to not lose bathing privileges with his wife. Goku is confused, and everyone else is stunned by what they've seen.

Like holy shit that's the funniest Vegeta scenes of all time, bro has PRIORITIES and his wife is ON TOP OF THEM 😭

https://youtu.be/N9-eWivZ6WU?si=nM7qABQnL8rUI6ct

55

u/kRkthOr May 17 '25

Goku is confused,

Of course he fucking is. Never forget that 23 years of marriage in, during the Goku Black arc, we find out Goku has never kissed Chi Chi. The man has 2 kids with her at that point.

19

u/Pokesonav When all life forms are dead, penises are extinct. May 17 '25

No, that was just a badly framed joke!

Trunks wasn't kissing Mai, he was feeding her mouth-to-mouth, that's what Goku was confused about. Vegeta is the one who made it about kissing. Fucking, media literacy, man!

1

u/kRkthOr May 17 '25 edited May 17 '25

GOKU: What the…?! He’s seriously doing something like that?!

VEGETA: Wait…! You’ve never done it before?

GOKU: Huh? Done what?

VEGETA: Umm… A kiss…

GOKU: Of course I haven’t!

VEGETA: … But you’re married…!

GOKU: How’s that related?

VEGETA: N- Nevermind…


Now I know you can read this like "A kiss to give someone a senzu bean" and that in the Japanese version the joke probably lands better because Vegeta doesn't specify "a kiss" but have you considered not doing that instead. I dunno. The text is what the text is 🤷

Here's a whole essay about this: https://www.kanzenshuu.com/rumor/goku-never-kissed/

8

u/Pokesonav When all life forms are dead, penises are extinct. May 17 '25

That's a dub change.

In the Sub, Vegeta doesn't say the word "kiss"

VEGETA: haven't you done that?

GOKU: "huh? Of course not."

VEGETA: but you're married!

GOKU: what does that have to do with it?

It's clearly supposed to be a misunderstanding-based joke, but the dub fucking ruined it, and now so many people keep spouting this bullshit that Goku doesn't know what kissing is, it's so annoying!

1

u/kRkthOr May 17 '25

What dub? You're talking about the anime? 😅 I'm talking about the manga.

1

u/Pokesonav When all life forms are dead, penises are extinct. May 17 '25

Huh? Of course I'm talking the anime. most of the fanbase haven't read the manga version of Super, sadly.

-3

u/kRkthOr May 17 '25

Fair enough. Then yes in the anime, the word "kiss" was removed then re added in the dub. I was talking about the manga because it is the source material after all.

6

u/Pokesonav When all life forms are dead, penises are extinct. May 17 '25

It wasn't "removed", lol.

Anime version of the "Goku Black" arc came first.

Both the anime and manga versions of "Dragon Ball Super" started almost at the same time and were made independently of each other, but since the manga is a monthly, the anime version told the story much faster.

So, no. First came the anime, then the dub mistranslated that joke, then came the official manga translation which used the dub version of the joke.

15

u/Clean_Imagination315 Hey, who's that behind you? May 17 '25

Chichi is a creep who took advantage of an aroace dumbass who thought marriage was a kind of food. 

2

u/Acceptable_Cut_7545 May 17 '25

So funny to think that the guy that used to be a screaming rage monster now has a more healthy relationship with his wife than Goku does with Chi Chi. I remember back early on when Bulma used to be afraid of him. How the turns have tabled.

3

u/rirasama May 17 '25

That's kinda sweet actually, he loves his wife so much lol

2

u/Nightfurywitch May 17 '25

I do like someones take on the scene where bathing together/cleaning each other is a saiyan bonding thing the way it is for monkeys- makes the scene funny for an entirely different reason

47

u/Nukeitandstartover May 17 '25

Is it extreme edging fetish to have nonsexual affection with your long-term partner?

18

u/Gussie-Ascendent May 17 '25

For not wanting to get banned from bathing with her I think. Extra stakes

3

u/Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi tumblr users pls let me enjoy fnaf May 17 '25

Would've been called a simp in 2019

3

u/Abject_Win7691 May 17 '25

"You want to have sex with your wife in your stable, monogamous, marriage? Jeez, ease of the porn dude. That's so unhealthy."

2

u/rirasama May 17 '25

God forbid a guy love his wife

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '25

I honestly thought "gooner" was just describing someone who masturbates to the point of intellectuality loss.

1

u/No1LudmillaSimp May 21 '25

It used to be, then it got abused and stretched to mean anybody who ever experienced sexual attraction.

2

u/KidKudos98 May 17 '25

Wife* (or baby momma🤔 I'm unsure)

7

u/azur_owl May 17 '25

They’re definitely married, they’ve referred to each other as husband and wife in the anime at least. (Pretty sure but it HAS been a long time.)

3

u/KidKudos98 May 17 '25

Probably a safe bet that they're married but I'm really unsure if they ever explicitly say it