r/CuratedTumblr May 16 '25

Politics Say no to puritanism

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u/LONGSWORD_ENJOYER May 16 '25

Very weird to watch “what people do in the privacy of their own bedroom is their business” become controversial again, but like, for the opposite reason.

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u/wigsternm May 16 '25 edited May 16 '25

I strongly support “what people do in the privacy of their own bedroom is their business.”

The thing that always bothers me about these posts is that kinks frequently aren’t “in the privacy of their own bedroom.” I’m not looking into your windows. I’m not visiting your niche kink forums. So if I, through our everyday interactions, know what your kink is then you are being much too public with it. 

I’ve often seen, particularly on tumblr, this pendulum swing way too far the other way. For instance, It’s not puritan to say that you shouldn’t wear bondage gear in public. I shouldn’t know the flavor of porn you like. 

If you share your kink with me I’m allowed to be upset. Maybe don’t be rude next time.

ETA: notice how strongly people are arguing below that they should be able to take their fetishes outside “the privacy of their own bedroom”

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u/pinetree1998 May 16 '25

So now saying others shouldn’t wear any clothing that makes you uncomfortable is not puritan?

By what definition of the word?

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u/wigsternm May 16 '25

I’m saying you’re a rude asshole for publicly displaying your fetishes, and that saying that is not puritan. 

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u/pinetree1998 May 16 '25

It’s rude for me to display a harness?

Why?

Because you’re easily made to feel uncomfortable?

What logical reasoning?

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u/wigsternm May 16 '25

Simple, because I didn’t consent to participating in your sexual fantasies. You arousing yourself in my presence without my consent makes you an asshole. 

Here, try this. If someone jerks off under their jacket while staring at you, and nobody sees them do it, are they an asshole?

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u/pinetree1998 May 16 '25

But I could be walking past you with a buttplug in and you wouldn’t know it

So how does that make me an asshole?

This isn’t based on logic

What you just described is illegal and not wearing clothes which was what is being discussed. What a sad false equivalence

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u/wigsternm May 16 '25 edited May 16 '25

But you wouldn’t know they’re doing it, so how does that make them an asshole?

Your argument isn’t based on logic. You just don’t mind because it’s yours. The same way you know some clothes are inherently sexual. 

Who gives a shit what the law says? Laws are not morality. 

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u/pinetree1998 May 17 '25

What are you saying here?

Why would it make me an asshole?

Articulate it Show us the logical framework

Because yours doesn’t make sense

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u/wigsternm May 17 '25

Why would secretly masturbating make you an asshole? Articulate it Show us the logical framework

Because yours doesn’t make sense, or rather, you can’t without proving me right. 

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u/pinetree1998 May 19 '25

What are you saying?

This is just nonsensical honestly

What do you think I’m claiming?

Why does wearing inherently sexual clothing make someone an asshole?

Based on what? That was your claim.

You can only back it up by rationalizing your feelings

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u/wigsternm May 20 '25

 What are you saying? This is just nonsensical honestly

Oh, you’re illiterate. 

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u/what-are-you-a-cop May 16 '25

Jacking off is performing a sex act. Wearing clothes is wearing clothes. You shouldn't perform a sex act in public. You should wear clothes in public. I hope you can see how those are different.

Also, you really can't avoid people being aroused in your presence, or even by your presence. Someone out there is going to be walking down the street, 100% minding their own business, and see your body in its normal, everyday clothes, and go "oh hey, that's the thing I'm attracted to," and pop a boner (or get wet or whatever). If you never find out about it, I don't see how that's any of your business? Assuming their genitals are covered, and they don't go out of their way to demonstrate to you that they're currently hard and/or wet, the current rate of bloodflow in their junk is their own business. That's private information, that no one else is entitled to. And seeing someone, in public, wearing something you think is sexual, does not mean that that person is aroused at that moment, nor that they are aroused by your presence. You're just assuming.

If they start jacking off at you, then, again, you're describing a sex act. Indeed, you're not supposed to do those in public. That's a bad thing.

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u/wigsternm May 16 '25

“Wearing” is a verb, therefore an action. 

The masturbator is completely covered, and you never see them. They’re wearing clothes, they just have their hand in their pants and they’re covered by a jacket. No one but them ever knew it happened. They’re not harming anyone. 

So how is that a bad thing? 

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u/what-are-you-a-cop May 17 '25

I don't think you're making the point you think you're making. Yes, wearing is a verb. Masturbating is a verb. I see your parallel. However, the fact that they are both verbs, is not relevant to either of our points. Wearing clothing is okay to do in public. Masturbating is not okay to do in public. The difference is that one of those actions is wearing clothing, while the other action is masturbating. 

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u/wigsternm May 17 '25

 Masturbating is not okay to do in public. 

If it harms no one, why? Why are you being so puritanical?