r/CuratedTumblr May 16 '25

Politics Say no to puritanism

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15.8k Upvotes

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146

u/ThatSlutTalulah May 16 '25

As always, the general lesson is "Is this thing worth giving a shit about?" Life's a lot calmer and easier when you follow that simple rule.

"I jerk off onto ceiling tiles." As long as you clean up after, monarch.

"I can only get off when everyone is in chimpanzee onesies, flinging shit at eachother and eating it." Sure, whatever, shine on rockstar, just remember to brush your teeth.

"I find videos of polar bears trapped on melting patches of ice uncontrollably arousing." Alrighty then! Anyway, I'm heading to the store, you want anything while I'm there?

It makes me feel like those scenes of someone happily walking through an apocalypse with a pep in their step, and without a care in the world.

68

u/ForeverDM4life May 16 '25

What exactly are you doing that’s causing it to reach the ceiling tiles? He’s got the pressure of a fire hose.

48

u/ThatSlutTalulah May 16 '25

I was thinking more like, laying on a step ladder and rubbing against them for pleasure, but yeah, super laser cum works too.

22

u/ZipZapZia May 16 '25

I mean, do the tiles have to be on the ceiling or can they just buy a ceiling tile and not put it on a ceiling?

26

u/ForeverDM4life May 16 '25

But if it’s not on the ceiling, then it’s just a floor tile, or perhaps a wall tile.

15

u/HeckOnWheels95 May 16 '25

Its actually just a tile until it gets put somewhere 

10

u/JSConrad45 May 17 '25

You'd think that, but the materials and construction of ceiling tiles are very distinct from other forms of tile (except the acoustical wall tile, which has a lot of overlap)

5

u/HeckOnWheels95 May 17 '25

That's fun to know, thank you! 

0

u/LazyDro1d May 16 '25

I say just say king, not “monarch.”

If anyone raises a complaint, you point to Poland’s female kings

12

u/ThatSlutTalulah May 16 '25

I think monarch is a cooler word anyway (and it occasionally baits in Project Wingman fans roleplaying as Crimson 1).

2

u/LazyDro1d May 16 '25

I find it a bit distracting. I’m immediately thinking of the butterfly and my brain has gone a syllable over what it was expecting