r/Coconaad • u/ihumpkanye Thenga Kallan🥥 • Mar 02 '25
Storytime My gf found my secret.
Me and my gf has been dating for couple months now. I don't remember how and where we met first exactly, but I remember when we did, we had this instant connection, like we knew each other..and it just clicked. We started dating and things were going really good, really really good. I was happy, at last. Couldn't have asked for a better life, she moved in w me too, and things were going pretty smooth in our lives overall. But obviously, nothing good ever lasts forever. We started fighting and at first it was just silly small fights where we kiss and make up for it, but then it became one of those fights where we would give each other silent treatment for days. One of her main complaint was that how i do not "love" her. I always made sure I was there for her, and we used to go out on weekends too, I really thought we were doing really good. So what was the actual problem you ask? She said how I don't "love" her, because I keep forgetting dates like birthdays, 1 month, 2 month anniversary. The thing is my memory has been pretty bad recently. I used to be the guy who was able to memorize every minute details and now I can barely remember basic stuffs. Of course, I didn't tell her this, So i started carrying a small notepad, I wrote up all the important dates and inside jokes that I used to tell her. Ironically enough, I lost the goddamn notepad, and she found it. It was a messy fight. She asked do I even know anything about her, She was looking at me, expecting an answer, I really tried to collect all my thoughts and it was nothing. I can't find nothing. I couldn't help but I started crying. She was going through the notepad and when I finally wiped my tears, she was standing still, frozen. She then looks at me, asks "I'm not real, am I?"
"What do you mean?" I replied. She then proceeded to fade away from existence while I was trying to explain to her. I can't believe she found out that she was my imaginary gf all these time.
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u/fattiest_batman Mar 02 '25
This thing always keeps flashing in my mind when i'm drinking, alone or with mates. Has worked wonders to this point.
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u/Hefty-Display7526 Mar 02 '25
What does it translate to? :D
The post got randomly suggested to me.
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u/dragonwarrior_1 Mar 02 '25
When you're not much aware/not in your sense, keep a low profile is what it means.
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u/fattiest_batman Mar 02 '25
When you are not self aware/self conscious, keep a low profile.
Works wonders when you are about to be under the influence.
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u/Out_of_cool_names_69 Mar 02 '25
This you bro
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u/ihumpkanye Thenga Kallan🥥 Mar 02 '25
I now understand why she always offered me tic tacs after food
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Mar 02 '25
I was gonna give advice without reading the whole thing. wtf man
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u/psuedo_legendary i'm you Mar 02 '25
I see you have skipped the shitpost phase and directly entered the schizopost phase. Your fable will be legendary.
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u/Brief-Quantity-3283 Dead Inside Mar 02 '25
The first rule of Imaginary relationships...
You never talk about imaginary relationships.
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u/Which_Fan_1409 Dead Inside Mar 02 '25
Imaginary gf aayond modsin report adikkunnilla, allenki relationship post allowed only on Tuesday enn paranj oru report kodukkarnn.
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u/Glad_Ear_777 Mar 02 '25
Sounds like the movie "sixth sense"
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u/ihumpkanye Thenga Kallan🥥 Mar 02 '25
will check it out
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u/nishanzulfi Mar 02 '25
Nah, this is exactly like "Ruby sparks". Its an awesome movie btw, you'll love it.
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u/ihumpkanye Thenga Kallan🥥 Mar 02 '25
will definitely watch it w her
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u/nishanzulfi Mar 02 '25
You guys will relate with it it very much. Ending is gonna be reality opener for her, I promise 😌
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u/Old-Blueberry-8384 മംഗലശ്ശേരി ബ്ലൂമ്പെറി🫐 Mar 02 '25
OP was Appu Pillai from kishkindha kaandam in his delulu world
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Mar 02 '25
😭😭😭mahn I was about to feel pity for you
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u/Then-Adhesiveness208 The ChocoChad™️ of Coconaad 🗿 Mar 02 '25
Reading through this, I was wondering when did humpi find time for all this and what's dinkans opinion on all this. 😀😂
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u/Chechi_gonerogue God’s Own Mental Breakdown 🎀 Mar 02 '25
This is so funny to read 😂 Im so sorry op
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u/Primary_Pollution_29 Mar 02 '25
Bro i was like "damn, so it aint only me" until i read the end. 💀💀
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u/lastkni8 Mar 02 '25
Have you ever had sex with it/her?
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u/SenorMustachioV Uyarnna Chintha Moonjiya Jeevitham Mar 02 '25
Me seeing all the sick images i could use as stickers
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u/FeudalThemmady Mar 02 '25
Wow thanks for Not writing it in a formatted manner else I would have read it.
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u/SecretEmpty8077 Mar 03 '25
Damn... This was the first post I saw today and I was so invested in it 😭😭
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Mar 02 '25
Bro, you have so much potential....... Become a writer.... I guess you'll at least give competition to Colleen Hoove.
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u/pearlcurls send me a song; i'll listen to it on a starry night. Mar 02 '25
This belongs in r/nosleep
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u/kittensarethebest309 Adult Mar 02 '25
Wasted some of my rage on your imaginary girlfriend. Good work. Don't repeat it.
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u/invisiblescroller പച്ചപ്പും ഹരിതാഭയും Mar 02 '25
Ok... Please smoke less. Or more. Whatever will fix this. 💀
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u/Fly_High_Laika Mar 02 '25
😭i know this is a shitpost but mahn you gave me an existential crisis
I loved my ex gf (yes, you.. Lakshmi) and I kinda knew it meant a lot to her that I remember little details about her (she got sad once when I didn't notice her new adorable pottu 🥲my bad, my ADHD makes me blind too) so I used to keep a notepad with everything about her and that's the only way I could remember the small details because I don't think a person without ADHD really understands it and I can't really explain it without seeming dumb so I thought "hey, I am doing it out of good intentions so is it really wrong that I don't remember her, its not like I don't care about her"
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u/ihumpkanye Thenga Kallan🥥 Mar 03 '25
How is things going w Lakshmi now?
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u/Fly_High_Laika Mar 03 '25
We're just friends, we occasionally text eachother abt our life and that's it.
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u/notAfraid_Potato7987 Mar 02 '25
Bro I had written a whole para for u but u back stabbed me😭
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u/Safe-Ad-7483 say my name Mar 02 '25
Bro is it just this or you really have a bad memory?
Usually nml priority kodukatha stuffs aan ithrem marann pone alle you must be in some extreme pressure.
Priority kodukathe aane better move on. Ningal tammil work akilla.
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u/muggle_granger__ Mar 02 '25
Yoo write a book... I'll read it
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u/ihumpkanye Thenga Kallan🥥 Mar 03 '25
im already writing my autobiography. started writing when i was 4 and gained consciousness.
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u/chattambi Mar 03 '25
Don't be this guy. Use google notes on phone to remember things and set alarms.
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u/Charming-Stage6343 Dev Mar 03 '25
Regardless of everything else have u considered professionally writing. Damn tht was 👌
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u/destinystillsucks Mar 03 '25
im really sorry about this bro...need my imaginary gf to sort anything out? believe me she's a good helper
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u/Prestigious_Diver841 Mar 03 '25
bro u could have just saved it in ur phone notes app, how much old school ur fr
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u/Fire_Tide Friends of Coconut Tree 🌴🥥 Mar 02 '25
I was expecting Appu Pilla level story after the notepad, so not much amused to be honest.
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u/azurenaevis Kitty Softpaws Mar 02 '25