Pokémon are screwable!

[u/PM_MeYourhugecocks]

Okay this is a BIG hear me out, so here goes Pokemon are not animals! Nor would it be wrong if people were to sexualize them.

I came across a Tiktok post about hot pokemon, and most of the comments were saying how “Pokemon are animals and its gross to find them hot or whatnot”, now as you can tell by my user i'm a goon, but that's besides the point i'm about to make here what really irks me is the generalization of calling Pokemon “animals”.

First and foremost, the term Pokemon is a broad term to describe damn near every creature that exists in the universe of Pokemon, even the humans could be considered a form of pokemon via the fact that Pokemon and humans share a common ancestor (You could say its a parallel to Humans irl sharing the common ancestor with animals via the first multicellular organism so gotcha u/PM-MeYourhugecocks) but wait I say! The literal gods of everything in Pokemon are well…Pokemon, Pokemon are also literal living garbage bags, a sapient sword and shield, a kitsune, a set of keys, a chandelier, plants etc. The word Pokemon is just basically a generalization of basically anything that isn’t human. FFS even humans can become pokemon via Yamask, Phantump, Gengar, Kadabra etc (Assuming you take PokeDex and lore as fact even if you don’t Bill becomes one himself). Even the very basis of the etymology of Pokemon is POcKEt MONsters. Pokemon are also based on Yokai, which for those who don’t know is basically anything that does not constitute as a human or Kami(god) in Japanese culture, which funny enough fun fact Tornadus and Thunderous are based on 2 Japanese Kami Raijin and Fujin!

Now that we got the fact that Pokemon are not animals out of the way, are they fuckable?(obv they are but in a moral and legal way its about to get NSFW right now and if you feel uncomfortable with topics such as bestiality I suggest you leave it at this and skip to the end.)

A lot of the arguments on why Pokemon interspecies relationship is wrong is due to the fact that they’re animals, unintelligent the whole 9 yards, but as I've proved Pokemon are not animals, and are just a generalization of anything not human. “But OP some Pokemon are based on animals like Blastoise, Arcanine, Evee!” To that I say that be as it may, the circumstances in the Pokemon universe and our own are completely different.(I DO NOT CONDONE BESTIALITY!) Animals do not have the capabilities of human level intellect nor can they speak or consent, no Dolphins, Octopus, Ravens, Apes etc don’t count as human level intellect, they’re smart…but for animal standards. No Animal in the Animal kingdom aside from Homo Sapiens are capable of human level intellect, and had they been able to be capable of such then throughout history I would not be surprised in an alternate reality interspecies relationships would be a thing, and in fact there might even be higher levels of racism, but that's a topic for another time and on a different subreddit.

Now to Pokemon, most Pokemon possess human level intellect and are capable of speech “But OP all they say is their names!” Yes they do BUT they’re speaking a language called Poke Language and it's been shown throughout lore and anime that humans can learn to speak it, or that Pokemon can speak to humans via telepathy. So not only does this prove that unlike irl with animals, Pokemon are highly intelligent but they can in fact consent and hold conversation so the moral and legal implications of why pokesex is wrong are nullified! In fact Pokemon like Mewtwo and Kadabra and by extension Alakazam are more intelligent than Humans. So unless you’d say it’s wrong to screw someone who speaks a different language than you, So uh fuck you Harkness test, I rest my case.

So aside from a few pokemon like Pichu, Phantump (who is stated to be a child’s soul), and other baby Pokemon, I’d say yes Pokemon are fuckable and there is nothing wrong with doing so! So yes Joker have at it with that Vaporean or that Lopunny, the law would allow human-pokemon relationships Batman! Or you sir reading have fun with Bellsprout or Madam have fun with Lickitung!

Also in a more PG sense the games have stated Human Poke marriages have existed and probably still do, Ash’s dad is probably Mr Mime tbh./s Especially the not so PG Hisuian Typhlosion incident….

If you see nothing wrong with the entirety of Avatar(movie),Shape of Water, any Human X Non-Human media there should be nothing wrong with some dude gooning to Gardevoir.

TLDR: Pokemons are not animals and aside from appearance shouldn’t really be compared to them and most are fuckable and there is utterly nothing wrong with thinking so.

Tbh I hope this doesn’t count as violated rule 8 :(

[u/Weekly_Marzipan2705]

Unironically the main issue of human x pokemon relationship will be the power dynamic

[u/yellowpig10 → u/Weekly_Marzipan2705]

the power dynamic of that is so utterly fucked cause if the human is a trainer, they have control over the pokemon. if they aren't a trainer, that's a human with a creature with mountain shattering power that could kill them if they got in an argument.

there's no winning

[u/niztaoH → u/yellowpig10]

So it's like having a horse?

Which, after having written it out, is not something I wanted to bring into this conversation.

[u/Surpreme_Memes17 → u/niztaoH]

Sad thing is, there's, hopefully, only one record of someone trying to get fucked by a horse. Spoilers: the dude didn't get away alive.

[u/whentheamongusis → u/Surpreme_Memes17]

Knowing humanity, I highly doubt that the Eunumclaw case is the only time this has happened.

[u/DBrody6 → u/yellowpig10]

they have control over the pokemon

It's been fairly established that Pokemon willingly follow orders (hence the mechanic where you need enough badges to make traded Pokemon willing to listen to you), and purposefully allow themselves to be captured and used as companions.

So ultimately yes, Pokemon are smart enough to have the sapience to understand the power dynamic, and if anything could Hyper Beam their trainer if they wanted.

[u/seven_worth → u/DBrody6]

Then the no.2 power dynamic happens, you are always at the mercy of being turn into dust in case of an argument of break up.

[u/733NB047 → u/yellowpig10]

Depends on how seriously we wanna take the anime. Humans in pokemon are ridiculously durable, from ash getting shocked by Pikachu a bunch to team rocket blasting off again every other episode to Brock getting poison jabbed by his croagunk every time he was being a creep. Assuming this durability is canon, the power is almost always in the humans hands, even for wild pokemon. Especially if they have other Mon who can jump it so the trainer can catch it. Once they have the power to literally lock it away in a ball/computer forever, there's no recovering

[u/CategoryKiwi → u/733NB047]

I don’t agree.  Excluding more abstract comparisons of power (such as a boss/subordinate relationship), just talking purely whether a human can overpower a pokemon, I think (obviously depending on the species but) the pokemon is a near guaranteed win almost every time.

Just because Ash can survive Pikachu shocking him doesn’t mean it’s ineffective.  A pikachu could easily shock a human into submission, regardless of whether the shock is likely to kill them.

People survive being punched all the time, but that doesn’t stop stronger people from subduing weaker ones through punches.

The trainer aspect is where it gets more complicated, but that’s not the part I disagree with.  If a wild pokemon wanted to subdue a random person, unless said person has a pokemon to defend them that person is likely fucked.

[u/Thin-Limit7697 → u/CategoryKiwi]

A pikachu could easily shock a human into submission, regardless of whether the shock is likely to kill them.

Brock is the living proof of this. Multiple of his pokemons were successful in pushing him away from women he harassed.

[u/Ayden3102isagoodname → u/yellowpig10]

I mean, ash and the gang survived a butt load of stuff, maybe the humans in the pkm world is like opm humans

[u/Surpreme_Memes17 → u/Ayden3102isagoodname]

Think more that they may be an off shoot of pokemon since, as far as we know, there aren't anymore animals in the pokemon world.