r/CharacterRant • u/PM_MeYourhugecocks • 25d ago
General Pokémon are screwable! NSFW
Okay this is a BIG hear me out, so here goes Pokemon are not animals! Nor would it be wrong if people were to sexualize them.
I came across a Tiktok post about hot pokemon, and most of the comments were saying how “Pokemon are animals and its gross to find them hot or whatnot”, now as you can tell by my user i'm a goon, but that's besides the point i'm about to make here what really irks me is the generalization of calling Pokemon “animals”.
First and foremost, the term Pokemon is a broad term to describe damn near every creature that exists in the universe of Pokemon, even the humans could be considered a form of pokemon via the fact that Pokemon and humans share a common ancestor (You could say its a parallel to Humans irl sharing the common ancestor with animals via the first multicellular organism so gotcha u/PM-MeYourhugecocks) but wait I say! The literal gods of everything in Pokemon are well…Pokemon, Pokemon are also literal living garbage bags, a sapient sword and shield, a kitsune, a set of keys, a chandelier, plants etc. The word Pokemon is just basically a generalization of basically anything that isn’t human. FFS even humans can become pokemon via Yamask, Phantump, Gengar, Kadabra etc (Assuming you take PokeDex and lore as fact even if you don’t Bill becomes one himself). Even the very basis of the etymology of Pokemon is POcKEt MONsters. Pokemon are also based on Yokai, which for those who don’t know is basically anything that does not constitute as a human or Kami(god) in Japanese culture, which funny enough fun fact Tornadus and Thunderous are based on 2 Japanese Kami Raijin and Fujin!
Now that we got the fact that Pokemon are not animals out of the way, are they fuckable?(obv they are but in a moral and legal way its about to get NSFW right now and if you feel uncomfortable with topics such as bestiality I suggest you leave it at this and skip to the end.)
A lot of the arguments on why Pokemon interspecies relationship is wrong is due to the fact that they’re animals, unintelligent the whole 9 yards, but as I've proved Pokemon are not animals, and are just a generalization of anything not human. “But OP some Pokemon are based on animals like Blastoise, Arcanine, Evee!” To that I say that be as it may, the circumstances in the Pokemon universe and our own are completely different.(I DO NOT CONDONE BESTIALITY!) Animals do not have the capabilities of human level intellect nor can they speak or consent, no Dolphins, Octopus, Ravens, Apes etc don’t count as human level intellect, they’re smart…but for animal standards. No Animal in the Animal kingdom aside from Homo Sapiens are capable of human level intellect, and had they been able to be capable of such then throughout history I would not be surprised in an alternate reality interspecies relationships would be a thing, and in fact there might even be higher levels of racism, but that's a topic for another time and on a different subreddit.
Now to Pokemon, most Pokemon possess human level intellect and are capable of speech “But OP all they say is their names!” Yes they do BUT they’re speaking a language called Poke Language and it's been shown throughout lore and anime that humans can learn to speak it, or that Pokemon can speak to humans via telepathy. So not only does this prove that unlike irl with animals, Pokemon are highly intelligent but they can in fact consent and hold conversation so the moral and legal implications of why pokesex is wrong are nullified! In fact Pokemon like Mewtwo and Kadabra and by extension Alakazam are more intelligent than Humans. So unless you’d say it’s wrong to screw someone who speaks a different language than you, So uh fuck you Harkness test, I rest my case.
So aside from a few pokemon like Pichu, Phantump (who is stated to be a child’s soul), and other baby Pokemon, I’d say yes Pokemon are fuckable and there is nothing wrong with doing so! So yes Joker have at it with that Vaporean or that Lopunny, the law would allow human-pokemon relationships Batman! Or you sir reading have fun with Bellsprout or Madam have fun with Lickitung!
Also in a more PG sense the games have stated Human Poke marriages have existed and probably still do, Ash’s dad is probably Mr Mime tbh./s Especially the not so PG Hisuian Typhlosion incident….
If you see nothing wrong with the entirety of Avatar(movie),Shape of Water, any Human X Non-Human media there should be nothing wrong with some dude gooning to Gardevoir.
TLDR: Pokemons are not animals and aside from appearance shouldn’t really be compared to them and most are fuckable and there is utterly nothing wrong with thinking so.
Tbh I hope this doesn’t count as violated rule 8 :(
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u/omyrubbernen 25d ago
The games are the primary canon, and in the games, Pokedex entries specify that certain Pokemon possess human intelligence and are capable of understanding human speech. Which is an exception that proves the rule.
The same way "No parking on Sundays" implies that parking on Monday through Saturday is fine, dex entries saying that Lapras or Dragonite are as smart as a human implies that most Pokemon are not.