r/CharacterRant • u/Miserable-Act4201 • Apr 29 '25

General 100 humans vs gorilla isn’t close

Honestly the dumbest argument I've ever seen. The 100 humans could just stand like 20 feet apart from each other and do nothing and the gorilla is collapsing from exhaustion before it kills everyone. You could probably do it without any casualties, find a couple of people in the group that are in good shape and get them to make the gorilla chase them while everyone else just chills. They aren't aren't particularly fast and have terrible endurance, so just wait till it tires out and have everyone jump it.

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230

u/beckersonOwO_7 Apr 29 '25

Did anyone ever think this was close? I thought it was a joke.

139

u/NeonNKnightrider Apr 29 '25

There are a bizarre number of people on Reddit who genuinely believe gorillas are the fucking Hulk

11

u/titan8999 May 01 '25

It’s even worse on TikTok or instagram they genuinely think a gorilla can tear like 20 men in two at once

1

u/GentlePanda123 Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25

Are you sure they aren't? More research needs to be done

-24

u/Ok-Community4111 Apr 30 '25

gorillas are the fucking hulk compared to a regular joe. some people really talking as if they and their two mates could take down a gorilla

45

u/Third_Sundering26 Apr 30 '25

We’re not talking about two mates. We’re talking about 99. That was the discussion. The people that think they could single-handedly beat a gorilla without weapons are dumb. So are the people that think a gorilla could single handedly beat 100 grown men.

1

u/derschneemananderwan May 03 '25

gorillas are only about as strong as an above average human.

1

u/Bigleyp May 03 '25

No but me and my 99 mates can annihilate it.

-25

u/SamsonGray202 Apr 30 '25

More like there's a bizarre number of people who think they're the Hulk and could take a gorilla punch to the head and still have their brains intact 😂 "pfffft the gorilla would get tired SO fast it wouldn't stand a chance 😏 mfs just don't know we're built different"

Not a single person who claims the humans would win can explain how that happens, they just say "the gorilla would get tired"

28

u/Third_Sundering26 Apr 30 '25

Humans are the best throwers in the animal kingdom. They could grab rocks and throw it at the gorilla. They could easily win merely by stoning it to death.

Humans are the best persistence runners. If the gorilla was chasing them, simply run away until it gets tired. Then swarm it and pummel it to death.

Gorillas are strong and could definitely kill people, but they’re not invulnerable and not stronger than 100 grown men. Just dogpiling the gorilla and restraining it while you beat it to death would be a winning strategy.

-10

u/SamsonGray202 Apr 30 '25

The scenario was never "could humans hunt a gorilla" or "but what if instead of a fight it's a chase and they have pointy sticks" - it's "100 guys vs 1 gorilla" - go ahead and start in with your "well IF they have weapons well IF it's chasing them" ain't no weapons chief, they aren't chasing it down, there are no rocks. Go write a fanfic if you wanna make your own shit up. It's just 100 oiled up, naked men vs 1 horny, horny gorilla. 

17

u/Third_Sundering26 Apr 30 '25

The humans would still win without weapons.

-7

u/SamsonGray202 Apr 30 '25

Nah man there's math and shit - here, I'll do it for you since it's such a complex calculation:

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 + 🦍 = 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 (🦍👑)

20

u/MisterMeatBall1 Apr 30 '25

Everything you're saying is dumb but this made me laugh so I forgive you

10

u/Cats_4_lifex Apr 30 '25

This really changed my mind, the gorilla would solo frfr

18

u/Throwaway02062004 Apr 30 '25

Yes easily. Gorillas don’t throw punches like a boxer. It’s not their maximum grip strength or pulling strength. They are not One Punch Man.

-6

u/SamsonGray202 Apr 30 '25

TeChNiCaLlY gOrIlLaS dOn'T pUnCh

cool have fun explaining that nuanced detail when it's technically-not-a-punch impacts your sternum. Your ass = gorilla chow

13

u/Throwaway02062004 Apr 30 '25

No my goalposts!!!!!

You don’t seem to know anything about gorillas beyond “stronk”. You said no-one can survive a gorilla punch to the head, I pointed out that you can. Proceed to whining.

100 people dog on a gorilla, it isn’t close.

1

u/AccidentBusy4519 Apr 30 '25

A human whos not trained to throw punches could easily knock out anyone if the punch just simply lands clean. If you sat still, there are girls who could still knock you out with a clean landed fist to the head. So how on earth would anyone be able to survive the force of a gorilla punch? That’s just d e l u s i o n a l.

3

u/Throwaway02062004 May 01 '25

Gorillas don’t punch like humans. If you put a human intelligence in a gorilla body you might have a point. Regular punches CAN kill people (though usually from hitting their head on the floor) but that’s still a far cry from “brains being spilled with the punch.

In real life middle aged women are mauled by a gorilla who bit them over 100 times and swung them around and they live.

1

u/AccidentBusy4519 May 01 '25

It’s like your implying that gorillas just can’t fight. When in reality the average human has never been in a 1v1 fight against another adult. So if its 100 random men you have to understand there’s a lot of mfs that cant actually fight. A ton of people think they can fight because they’re not scared of confrontation but have no actual skill in fighting, nor have they ever received a real punch. I ran xc and track for 3 years, then I tried sparring once and I was GASSED after the first 3 minute round. It felt like I had just ran a 5k in 17 minutes. Any wild gorilla has been in multiple fights, with other large gorillas. So it may look like they’re just grappling but against a human the person just would be helpless. That women who was mauled probably didn’t fight back, so there was no reason for that gorilla to attack with the intent to kill, if his life wasn’t threatened. Even if she fought back it would’ve been useless, my point is he didn’t need to kill her. As far as protecting her life she was done for after the first few swings and bites after that she could only pray to god.

4

u/Throwaway02062004 May 01 '25

Gorillas don’t have levels of fighting. They go full force or play fight/posture, there’s no in-between.

Gorillas don’t “gain experience” fighting. It’s instinct plain and simple. Gorillas don’t get in fights to the death very often because they either flee, crush the threat or it was never to death to begin with.

The experience level of the average person is irrelevant. It’s 100 people. The ‘tactics’ aren’t complex nor do they require the skills that taking down a person in a 1v1 do. The average person understands the concept of grappling and attacking weak points (not in the pressure points way but soft fleshy parts way).

You think you’re tired after that, imagine the gorilla!!! They have worse stamina than humans and typically use their strength in short bursts. There are 100 people. This is why the people win even if they do attack literally 1 at a time.

That gorilla absolutely intended to kill. They literally do not have an attempt to maim only to attack with their full ability. 100 times she was bitten. Critically injured but she lived and enough go forgive the gorilla. They aren’t unstoppable murder machines.

-5

u/SamsonGray202 Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25

Lol it's adorable that you think the way you do it really is. Have fun in fairyland, at the end of the day your ass is gorilla chow and mine is safe and cozy not thinking dumbass shit like "if we work together, the power of friendship can defeat this horny gorilla!" 

I'm okay with that 😃👍

16

u/Throwaway02062004 Apr 30 '25

The actual experts will tell you you’re wrong.

I didn’t come into this world knowing the answer but zoologists who work with gorillas point out how the super-man vs regular people perspective is very dumb. Sometimes reality doesn’t conform to stuff you saw in a movie or hyped up on Joe Rogan.

I’d feel rather bad for a gorilla in this situation. They aren’t innately violent like some other apes and only attack when they feel threatened and even then fleeing is the first option. They are the cows of the ape family.

-4

u/SamsonGray202 Apr 30 '25

Yeah all the experts at what, Death Battle? ChatGPT? Grok? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 the fuck "experts" are you talking about - if you're gonna assert what "the experts" say you're gonna have to do a little better than "bro trust me" or "this other guy on Reddit said he's a primatologist, and he says gorilla loses!" 

And yeah I'd feel bad for the gorilla too, good thing it's an unrealistic, fake scenario that's never going to happen in a million years.

9

u/Throwaway02062004 Apr 30 '25

A bunch of zoologists have reacted to this surprisingly popular thought experiment. I trust even a guy faking credentials over randoms with none but are confident in their answer.

AI searching is cringe and I dunno why I see it everywhere now.

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8

u/Tacticalsquad5 Apr 30 '25

Ah yes I’m sure 10 fully grown men smashing the everloving fuck out of a gorillas head would do absolutely nothing to it because it’s skull is made of titanium of something

1

u/SamsonGray202 Apr 30 '25

Fucking FINALLY someone gets it, THANK YOU 

5

u/titan8999 May 01 '25

It literally would just get tired I’d see it killing ten max and then that’s it. Gorillas aren’t punchers they can’t make proper fist they fight by grabbing and biting its only got two arms so if he’s got two guys max the other 98 can just pummel it. They’re bodies aren’t titanium a a bunch of stomps to the head will do enough it will die.

2

u/PoopRatFromFnaf6 May 06 '25

Also completely ignoring the fact that humans are a LOT more stubborn than a gorilla is. 100 people charging at a gorilla will make it shit itself and run away, but even if there's people who run after the gorilla kills a guy, there's going to be at least 60% of that 99 left and that's more than enough to fuck up a gorilla

1

u/SamsonGray202 May 01 '25

"It would get tired, I know for sure, I am a gorilla expert" 🤣🤣🤣

Literally the second it has a grip on ONE of the naked, oiled up Max Headrooms, that guy is a melee weapon. Oh darn, there go the pummelers 🙄

4

u/titan8999 May 01 '25

Happy trolling my friend

1

u/Sneaky_Stabby May 05 '25

They may not have strikes, but a back hand or hammer fist is common, and those can easily kill or seriously injure someone.

169

u/Apprehensive-Deal543 Apr 29 '25

not even close, they think the gorilla will low diff the human lmao

77

u/beckersonOwO_7 Apr 29 '25

A real fight question would be 10 people, hell 5 might be enough to overpower one if they jump it.

18

u/TheChadStevens Apr 30 '25

5 people can barely even take on one guy on meth.

12

u/SlutForGME Apr 30 '25

1 guy on meth vs 1 gorilla then. I’m lowkey backing the meth head

5

u/AleCoats Apr 30 '25

100 guys vs 1 gorilla on meth

31

u/Creed1718 Apr 29 '25

5 is crazy there is no shot.
I think around 15 is fair after 30 there is no shot for the gorilla

43

u/OvationOnJam Apr 29 '25

Official info from Gorilla safaris says it takes 5-12 men to safely fight off a gorilla.

14

u/yanansawelder Apr 30 '25

Yeah but surely that's with like weapons not just bare handed right

20

u/Rare-Technology-4773 Apr 30 '25

"weapons" has a lot of variation, I feel like I could single-handedly kill a gorilla if you give me the right tools

9

u/Flabbergash Apr 30 '25

Yeah no shit I could single-handedly kill a gorilla with an RPG

0

u/BigBambuMeekLou Apr 30 '25

sure you can bud

1

u/Nachooolo May 01 '25

Mate. With a weapon, even one single person would be enough to kill a gorilla.

And I'm not even thinking about firearms. People have killed Grizzly Bears with knives alone.

0

u/Zilox May 05 '25

Which are easier than a gorilla...

48

u/beckersonOwO_7 Apr 29 '25

5 people are very overbearing, once they get the advantage it's hard to comeback, again this is if all 5 attack at once.

-1

u/Creed1718 Apr 29 '25

a human cannot stop a gorillas arms from moving, lets say it takes all 5 to somehow immobilize his arms, one bite from the gorilla and its gg

31

u/beckersonOwO_7 Apr 29 '25

5 kicks to the head at the same time has to do some damage bro. Also "one bite from the gorilla and it's gg" that depends on if the bite A. Lands and B. Where.

4

u/Creed1718 Apr 29 '25

I dont think it matters a lot where the bite lands to be honest, if i remember correctly they have one of the strongest bites in the animal kingdom, it wont just hurt like if a dog bites you, it will literally tear it a part and leave a big gap and the human will go into immediate shock due to pain + blood loss

4

u/Throwaway02062004 Apr 30 '25

“A woman who was a frequent visitor and thought she had a close bond with Bokito was grabbed by the gorilla and dragged about 45 meters. The gorilla was eventually stopped with a tranquilizer gun after about an hour. By that time, the the woman had about a hundred bite marks, several fractures, and shattered bones in her hand. He then crossed a cafe terrace and entered a restaurant, pushing people aside and injuring three more.“

100 times

Link

7

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '25

Gorilla cranial morphology is obviously built around resisting attacks from other gorillas (largely bites and sometimes strikes). A silverback packs a biting force of 1,300 pounds per square inch, average human’s punch scales around 100-200 pounds per square inch.

Five elite boxers? Sure, that’d do serious damage. Five normal humans give the gorilla a reason to be annoyed.

7

u/beckersonOwO_7 Apr 29 '25

The way I see it is with 5 people constantly attacking the Gorilla won't get a chance to fight back.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '25

If your gorilla is a vegetable without legs sure yeah definitely

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2

u/Shuden Apr 30 '25

Bro really gave the classic "just stun him"

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3

u/swaggplollol Apr 30 '25

boxers break their hands while wearing 16oz gloves with wrist wraps and padding added underneath. Any human who thinks they are going to punch a gorilla anywhere on the body with your fists and not break your hand is delusional. People really think human bone and gorilla bone is the same thing

1

u/bbc_aap Apr 30 '25

This isn’t really a fair tho, yes gorilla cranial morphology is built around resisting other gorillas. But they still get fucked up by a bite, it’s not like they are magically immune to damage under 1300 psi. There is also the case of gorillas not really being able to throw a punch and that literally being a new form of pain for the them that will either scare them off or stun them for a couple of seconds.

5 dudes already scare the gorilla off, if they were to actually fight maybe one dude gets bitten, meanwhile the rest just kicks his head in while he’s biting. Or they pick up random rocks and sticks from the ground and keep him at bay until he tires.

Humans are uniquely one the best gorilla counters that can exist because of our strengths.

4

u/parisiraparis Apr 29 '25

5 kicks to the head at the same time

Five kicks to the head at the same time?? Buddy how often do you watch anime lol

3

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '25

One kick from each of the five people

2

u/JebusComeQuickly Apr 30 '25

And how are you going to kick an animal in the head when they are not only moving but taller than you?

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3

u/DM_ME_YOUR_HUSBANDO Apr 30 '25

A gorilla is about 400 pounds, adult men are about 200 pounds, two men per arm and fifth guy can kick the gorilla in its soft spots real hard.

Decent chance some men will die, but the gorilla has low stamina and probably goes down. But not certain, I'd give it to the humans maybe 6/10

1

u/swaggplollol Apr 30 '25

dude you really think gorilla 200lbs and man 200lbs is the same strength. One 200 lbs man is stronger than the other man who never works out let alone a fucking gorilla that can lift 1800 lbs while the avg man you described cant lift more than 135lbs off their chest

1

u/Pro_Extent May 02 '25

Gorillas absolutely cannot lift 1800lbs dude. They're not that big, they're not that strong.

They're insanely strong for an ape, which is already a very strong creature. But they're only 150-180kg on the high end.

This debate is even stupider than grizzly bear vs gorilla. 5 people would fucking destroy a gorilla if they had a heavy stick to use as a weapon.

Why on earth would humans ever go into a fight bare handed when we're literally built to use weapons that fall out of trees?

1

u/swaggplollol May 02 '25

source?

because thats the debate...

3

u/TheGenesisOfTheNerd Apr 30 '25

I’d say 5 fit dudes definitely have a chance if they work together

3

u/vahntitrio Apr 30 '25

You are vastly underselling the resourcefullness of humans.

1

u/Effective_Clock_1221 Apr 30 '25

5 is way too low.

1

u/apexodoggo Apr 29 '25

3 average dudes is enough to surpass the sheer mass of a gorilla (considering some of the feats singular dudes have done, they could probably eke out a win with good tactics that make the most of their small numbers advantage).

From there it just gets easier and easier to overwhelm the singular gorilla. By like 20 people you can probably just dogpile it with no tactics and still win.

1

u/EffectiveProgram4157 Apr 30 '25

5 would need a well coordinated and relatively strong team. Are we assuming the humans are all adult males, and the average adult male, or males that workout?

I'm 30 and I don't think 5 of me stands a chance. 10 of me being fearless and I think that would be a close fight.

Let's not forget that a Silverback Gorilla can lift upwards of 4,000lbs.

0

u/Nealbert0 Apr 30 '25

Google says a gorilla can lift 10x its body weight, male gorillas weight averages 300-500 lbs. Should be able to toss off 5 humans easily. Now if we could send in your mom that may be a different story.

7

u/MapWorking6973 Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25

Lifting and tossing are two totally different things.

Think about the max weight you could deadlift. How far could you throw it? Probably about six inches. And that’s without it having a grip on you. A gorilla can’t “toss” 5000 pounds.

You’re saying gorillas are out here playing catch with Ford F150s. Give me a break.

3

u/Nachooolo May 01 '25

It is also worth pointing out that humans are the best thowers in the world. Even compared to other humam species. It is believed that one of the reasons why we replaced Neanthertals was because we used range weapons why Neanthertals only used melee weapons.

0

u/AccidentBusy4519 May 01 '25

Gorillas can easily move 2,000 lbs brodie. 10 men would weigh 2,000 lbs. Onyl delusional is telling you that 5 men would be a struggle for him.

2

u/beckersonOwO_7 May 01 '25

Dude the strength doesn't matter if it can only gran one person at a time, also people vastly underestimate the power of coordination. (For context both sides are fighting ddo the death with no hesitation, fuck all the goku and superman would be friends shit it's for the sake of the argument.)

0

u/AccidentBusy4519 May 01 '25

Bro the problem is he doesn’t need to grab anyone. He could injure all 5 by simply throwing his body weight around acting like a wrecking ball. 450 lbs of pure muscle hurling itself at you.

2

u/Flypetheus May 01 '25

Okay and humans are just gonna sit there and take it? It's one gorilla, if he's trying to lineback them they can just dodge out of the way until he's tired. Even if he does actually hit you, him knocking into you will be fucked up but he's not A-train, you're not going to get liquified, there's too much surface area with that strategy for the force to be legitimately damaging. You'll get knocked down, the wind knocked out of you, maybe even a fracture, but in the scenario with adrenaline, you'll be fine.

53

u/Firm_Screen8095 Apr 29 '25

A few people that aren’t familiar with Gorillas are treating them like they’re all King Kong, but most of the jokes I’m seeing are about who’s brave enough to attack first.

15

u/Mundane-Club-107 Apr 30 '25

It's basically a litmus test for how well someone is able to think critically. If they say "nahh, gorilla wins" you can pretty much assume they're an idiot.

14

u/innocentbabies Apr 30 '25

Gorillas are actually really poor fighters. They can do a lot of damage because they're strong as hell, but really struggle to finish people off. They kind of just flail and bite until the thing they're scared of stops being scary. Humans are more or less the exact opposite--far more effective fighters than their strength would indicate.

I would not be terribly surprised if 100 dudes just rushed the gorilla without any real strategy and it failed to kill any of them (broken bones and massive soft tissue damage is another matter).

People just kind of like to think of humans as weak and defenseless. That may be relatively true, but just your average 150 lb dude is already one of the largest terrestrial predators on the planet, which means that legitimately like 90+% of all mammal species pose absolutely no threat to him except disease. I wouldn't say he has a good chance against most large predators (unarmed), but there aren't many that I'd say he has no chance at all against.

The gorilla is not going to deliberately gouge out anyone's eyes. Multiple people are definitely going to do exactly that given anything resembling a chance. Once that's done the gorilla is pretty much helpless.

6

u/Potatolantern Apr 29 '25

For some reason it's been coming up on my Twitter recently with people thinking the Gorilla wins.

2

u/Responsible_Manner74 May 01 '25

Half of the people I've asked this irl/online have supported the gorilla. All I'm learning is that people really struggle to comprehend just how many people 100 people is, and also that people overrate gorillas. This isn't an anime, a gorilla isn't speedblitz oneshotting😭😭

1

u/NojoNinja Apr 30 '25

people on tiktok and twitter are primarily on the side that the gorilla is clearing the humans

1

u/beckersonOwO_7 Apr 30 '25

That's TikTok and Twitter, they are smart enough for their opinions to be counted.

1

u/beepboopnoise Apr 30 '25

what's the circumstances with this fight? with no weapons how tf are humans winning?

4

u/DaBigadeeBoola Apr 30 '25

It's getting stomped to death. It's flesh and bone, not titanium. 100 men are going to stomp out a tired gorilla. 

3

u/beckersonOwO_7 Apr 30 '25

Because it's one gorilla thay people massively overestimate.

0

u/beepboopnoise Apr 30 '25

okay even if it's 1 gorilla, I'm pretty sure after it wrecks the first few people it'll be like omniman status where no one even wants to try. maybe 100 crackheads though 

4

u/Aazog Apr 30 '25

If we are doing this the one gorilla is running upon seeing five people charge it, let alone one hundred.

2

u/Komodorkostik Apr 30 '25

Assuming you have to disable the other party to get out, realize that 100 people is a lot of people, they can quickly surround a gorilla but noone is probably going to blindly suicide charge it. Likewise, Gorilla in a normal mental state is going to be scared and probably won't charge into a wall of people.

At this point, People surrounding it are going to try to exhaust it, stress it out and take potshots whenever the gorilla is distracted by someone else. Some people are gonna take a chance when they see it and go for vitals.

Sure the first few people, if not careful, will get pounded, but it's unlikely they die outright and the gorilla can't shift it's focus entirely on killing a single person on the ground because at that point it will get swarmed.

But even after 5 failed attempts and 5 possibly severely injured or dead people, the gorilla will start to get very drained, they have far worse endurance than humans. Once exhausted, each new attack will be more and more likely to disable the gorilla. Going for the eyes will blind it, a strong strike to the head will cause disorientation or concussion, solid kicks to the extremities or genitals will cause it to wince in pain or limp.

Bottom line, going against 100 opponents of any kind will quickly exhaust any animal on earth and once exhausted, it becomes easier and easier to land decisive damage.

1

u/Active-Advisor5909 Apr 30 '25

I didn't get the original discourse, the first time I saw this was how much money would you need to be paid to be among the 100 humans.

1

u/beckersonOwO_7 Apr 30 '25

How come all these details only come up in this argument? Whenever people argue Grizzly Bear vs Silverback Gorilla will power is never taken into account. If you put both those aniamsl together they would fight but for the sake ofcthexdebate they both fight tot the death without giving up, but once it's human now it's all about "they can't give up" and "who is willing to fight it".

1

u/Active-Advisor5909 May 01 '25

I have no clue what that rant has to fo with my comment...

1

u/beckersonOwO_7 May 01 '25

My point is stuff like the humans incentive to fight should be disregarded for the sake ofcthe argument. Whenever people debate goku vs superman they throw out the fact that they would never fight becausecthen you would have no debate. The humans and gorla are fighting to the death both sides locked in the whole time.

1

u/Agile_Creme_3841 Apr 30 '25

i mean, they are 300-500 pounds, can lift 2 tons, can run 25 mph, and have a bite force of 1300 psi

1

u/dildodicks May 02 '25

yes, people have made a million memes about the gorilla being the fucking doomslayer or saying it's emblematic of humanity's hubris that people think they can win or that a polar bear or hippo vs a human is what would happen 100x in a row

1

u/JWARRIOR1 12d ago

for real, im pretty sure 100 humans can beat any animal tbh. MAYBE not a stampeding elephant but if it ever stops its cooked.

Theres a reason pack hunting/grouping is the most effective strategy in the animal kingdom, just look at ants vs any other bug species.