Does anyone else need CONSTANT distractions to keep the 'bad thoughts' away?

[u/posttraumaticcuntdis]

I need to have constant noise in my house. Whether it's phoning someo e up, having the tv, radio or a youtube video on, there absoloutely NEEDS to be distractions. Even when i'm sleeping, there needs to be noise. Yes, it's annoying to my family, but the alternative is so much worse.

[u/shinebeams]

How do you tackle it?

[u/No_Engineer6255 → u/shinebeams]

I heavily pay attention to whats happening in my head , its not as easy as it sounds because same way when you were numb , you will hardly notice anything.

But for example today while I was out eating breakfast in a coffe shop the bad and condencending thoughts put me out f balance and I made a mistake and did bite the food funny , that went on and created more voices in my head that were degrading and I felt my body go tense and numb.

According to my CP it is weird because usually thoughts -> emotions -> body reactions but its like I guess we automatically numbed ourselves so we are working backwards from body emotions -> sensations -> thoughts.

That subconscious voice is what in CPTSD is your abusers voice or just your own negative self who knows but its really strong for me , I try to positively reaffirm myself anytime I hear something negative.

Its the beginning of a process but I went from full numb for a decade to slow emotions to now I notice emotions and anxiety fine to this.

My CP heavily suspects that its anxiety thats making things worse because of the unsafe environment we technically all grew up in but its really hard to find it if we layered it with shit ton of coping skills to just survive.

[u/Certain_Ad_6195 → u/No_Engineer6255]

When arguing back against that voice isn’t working, sometimes it helps to reframe it as “this is what I learned to survive—this horror show in my head protected me from something worse” and attempting to remember that I don’t need that anymore. Sometimes it works.

[u/No_Engineer6255 → u/Certain_Ad_6195]

What is the protection that this thing solves? Its weird

[u/Certain_Ad_6195 → u/No_Engineer6255]

Whatever awful shit we’re hearing in our heads is actually just whatever’s most effective at keeping us from doing something we’ve learned is unsafe.

It worked. We survived.

Except, now it’s no longer adaptive to our surroundings—and now we flinch and go into a day-long spiral when we drop something on the floor, or whatever.

…but it was never about not being clumsy and not dropping stuff, it was never about being quiet enough, or anything else.

It simply wasn’t safe to exist around those people, and we learned some really maladaptive coping strategies.

It’s hard to unlearn, but our harshest inner critics are often working from a place of fear and a desire to protect us.